New Correspondences

of the Mother

II

Sri Aurobindo Ashram

Pondicherry

Table of Contents

Title Page

Series One. Amrita

Series Two. Amal Kiran

Series Three. Sanjiban

Series Four. Kirankumari

Series Five. Jagannath

Series Six. Debou

Series Seven. Madanlal

Series Eight. Gautam Chawalla

Series Nine. Shyam Sundar

Notes on the Text

First edition 2023

ISBN 978-93-5210-257-0

© Sri Aurobindo Ashram Trust 2022

Published by Sri Aurobindo Ashram Publication Department

Pondicherry 605 002

Web https://www.sabda.in

Printed at Sri Aurobindo Ashram Press, Pondicherry

PRINTED IN INDIA

Publisher’s Note

This book contains the Mother’s correspondence with nine disciples, all of them members of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram. Each correspondence is presented in chronological order, with the question or comment of the disciple provided whenever possible. The names of the disciples have been given since they have all passed away. A brief life sketch of each disciple appears at the beginning of his or her correspondence.

The reader should note that the word “new” does not mean “published here for the first time”, but rather “not published in the Collected Works of the Mother and therefore new to most of its readers”. The Collected Works was organised and published around 1978, at the time of the Mother’s centenary. More than forty years have passed since then and a number of new correspondences have come to light, including those in this book. Five are being published here for the first time. The remaining four have been published in books or in the Ashram’s quarterly journal Bulletin of Sri Aurobindo International Centre of Education or in both. Further details are provided in the Note on the Texts at the end of the book.

The nine correspondences in this book supplement those published in Collected Works Volumes 16 and 17.

THE MOTHER

Series One
Correspondence with Amrita

Originally named Aravamudachari Ayengar, Amrita was born on 19 September 1895 in the village of Kazhiperampakkam, Tamil Nadu, fifteen kilometers from Pondicherry. When he was ten, he moved to Pondicherry for his education. Three years later, he saw Sri Aurobindo for the first time. From then on, he became a regular visitor at Sri Aurobindo’s house until 1915, when he left for Madras to complete his higher studies.

Amrita returned to Pondicherry in April 1919 to live permanently with Sri Aurobindo. Soon after the Ashram was formed in November 1926, Amrita became its general manager. In 1954, he was appointed a member of the first Ashram Trust board. For fifty years, from 1919 until his passing on 31 January 1969, he gave himself in service to Sri Aurobindo and the Mother.

Amrita’s correspondence with the Mother revolves around his work. As the Ashram manager, he discharged a remarkable range of duties. Every day he sent reports to the Mother, describing his activities and pointing out any problems. Through her replies she guided Amrita with clarity and firmness. On his part he served her faithfully to the best of his ability. The correspondence reveals his dedication to the Mother and her role as an administrator skilled in dealing with practical affairs.

This correspondence covers the period from 1919 to 1955, but most of the exchanges took place between 1928 and 1936. The correspondence is largely in English, but a considerable number of entries are in French and appear here in translation.

(Letter of the Mother from Japan in 1919)

My dear Amrita

We remember you very well indeed, and were most happy to receive your kind letter and also the photographs. These are simply splendid, especially the one standing. The expression is wonderful, and all our friends here, to whom we showed it, are enthusiastic. We will have it published in a magazine.

We are eagerly expecting A.G.’s[1] letter. But meanwhile we lose no time in making the last arrangements for our departure. Before leaving Japan we wish to establish the regular cargo service between Japan and Pondicherry of which you have heard already through Saurin, I suppose. It is this important matter, not yet settled, which prevents us from at once fixing the date of our departure. But we are hurrying as much as we can.

We are glad to hear that you are back in Pondicherry, near the Master, and managing the Arya during Saurin’s absence. It is with great pleasure that we shall meet you once more.

Will you please present to A.G. the enclosed photographs with our most loving greetings.

Very sincerely

Mirra P. Richard

7 November 1919

*

Be truthful, sincere, awake.

3 December 1928

*

Be simple, sincere, straightforward.

4 December 1928

*

When carrying dishes, servants are bound to rob. To expect otherwise from them is childish, and no complaint to this effect is of any use.

Consequently those who do not eat their meals in the dining-room and find their dishes meddled with by the servants, have the choice between accepting this misfortune or themselves taking their dishes from the dining-room.

This is especially for those who are lodged inside the compound.

c. 1928

*

Amrita

When you go tomorrow for the lime, you must not speak at all about the houses to be rented. Even if the man wants to speak of it, you will say that you know nothing about it.

28 October 1929

*

(For Duraiswami)

(1) For your health, the most important thing is to get cured. I shall speak of it with you when you come next.

(2) Pearls and peroxide can wait until you come.

(3) As for the dinner, it is no use upsetting your stomach and losing a day or two here into the bargain. Better excuse yourself.

Expecting to see you in perfect health next week.

With love

October 1929

*

To Amrita

Say to Duraiswami not to trust the doctors.

c. 1929

*

Amrita,

Champaklal will explain to you his complaint about the servant. I would like you to scold her and tell her that she must work properly and when she is told to, otherwise we cannot keep her.

c. 1930

*

The more there are “Departments”, the less they [the servants] seem to turn out work. I have said that the removal of the cats’ sand is part of the sanitary work. This closes matters.

Moreover when Datta was paying Ratnam to remove the sand of her cats, she was giving him four annas a month, and at that time she had four cats, not to speak of the kittens!

c. 1930

*

To Amrita

I expected him to go to the hotel — but if he insists on being put up in the asram, one room can be given in the Hequet House; for the food he must manage himself.

c. 1930

*

To the Christian servants I was always giving a half-day holiday on Christmas.

December 1931

*

Amrita

If Calve does not want to repair the house unless we advance the money, it is better to keep what is still safe for Rs. 15 a month until the whole thing crumbles down.

Inform Chandulal.

4 January 1932

*

(Note to a property owner)

Regarding the disastrous condition of the wall separating the house you have rented to her from your own compound. This wall has crumbled down on your side endangering the solidity of the building on our side. We trust you will do the needful urgently as the present condition is dangerous to life and property.

6 January 1932

*

Mother,

Sarala complains that Ammani is very irregular in attendance [details given]. She is asking for an advance of Rs. 6. Am I to do anything? Shall I detain the advance without paying Ammani for a day?

You can say to Ammani that if she does not become regular I refuse to give her any advance.

12 January 1932

*

Mother,

The work certificate in question is for Mounousami of the Boulangerie. I will send the certificate to you tonight for signature. I am sending herewith a rough draft for correction and approval.

(On the rough draft prepared by Amrita, the Mother crossed out the words “obliged to leave this place for reasons of health”, and commented:)

This may prevent him from finding some other work.

A sum of Rs. 5 is reserved for the five clerks of the Goods Department of the Railway Station. Generally, it is given to them by me. They came last year to the Ashram and took it. Balanarayan proposes that the amount may be given to them in the station itself. If so, is it necessary that I should go to the station for the purpose? Or may the affair be left in the hands of Balanarayan, as only he knows the persons concerned?

It is better that you should go with Balanarayan to give the money.

15 January 1932

*

Mother,

Sada informs me just at this moment that the old tenant is reoccupying the house next to the V.G.H. on Monday next. He has no intention of giving up the house at all.

I see only one way out of the difficulty. It is to buy the house. The lady can be told that if she wants 1,200 for her house we will buy it and on that ground she can send the old tenant away before he occupies.

(I am ready to give 1,550 to finish with it.)

24 January 1932

*

Mother,

The duty on things like typewriters is 30 percent. It is difficult to say that the one in our hands costs less than say Rs. 150. The Customs Office has a price list of things, so the duty is not likely to be less than Rs. 40 to 45. This amount is recoverable and will be recovered from the Customs as soon as the machine comes back to us. In the meanwhile who is to advance the amount? Will you permit me to approach Duraiswami for it?

I do not like that.

The duty is too high and the risks too much. It is better to give up the idea. If the spare part can be found in Madras, Duraiswami might bring it next time he comes and it will be refitted here. Inform Purani.

6 February 1932

*

Mother,

Regarding the bullocks:

(1) Can Krishnayya ask Rama Reddy to send the bullocks with a cart?

I suppose so.

(2) If the bullocks are to come, we have to arrange for hay, for a shed, etc.

Before doing anything we must first be sure that the bullocks will come.

8 February 1932

*

Mother,

Sivalingam has given up his oil bath for a fort-night or so. The oil that was bought for him is with him unused. He asked me to put the following before you: As he will not be using oil for besmearing himself, the soap-nut powder is of no use to him. Therefore, he prays to you to let him know whether he would be allowed the use of shampoo powder and the scented hair oil from the “Stores”.

Yes, he can have them. Prepare a chit for him and I shall sign it.

He is suffering very badly from what he calls rheumatism in one of his legs.

Why does he not go to the dispensary for treatment?

14 February 1932

*

Mother,

Where to put Duraiswami’s car that will come this evening?

I don’t have the slightest idea!

20 February 1932

*

Mother,

Dr. Aroule desires to show his house to someone. He sent his chauffeur yesterday to ascertain whether it would be possible to do it. I replied: “I cannot allow you to take somebody into the house without first taking Mother’s sanction and fixing a time for it.” I promised to give him an answer this morning. He may come himself to receive it.

Ask him why he wants to show his house? The only valid reason is if he wants to sell it — and if he wants to sell we are buyers.

23 February 1932

*

Mother,

Regarding the leave and absence of paid workers: Leave will be given only on request with a notice giving reasons. Absence other than that due to illness will be counted and wages deducted. A doctor’s certificate will have to be submitted by the employee in case of absence due to illness.

It is better, rather than deduct their pay, to put as a condition that they should replace themselves (when the leave is granted).

24 February 1932

*

Mother,

I went to Maya’s house at 8.00 p.m. I found only one light burning in the courtyard. I was told that the one light on the ground floor burns only till 9.00 p.m. But I am inclined to believe that there are short circuits here and there and therefore there is much consumption of current.

You mean leakage I suppose. The best is to ask to see the meter and ascertain that it is not moving when all the lights are off.

24 February 1932

*

Mother,

Montbrun asked me why we were engaging a new set of workers. I told him that the old set did not agree to the new conditions laid down by us. I added that the new régime with its new conditions promised us better prospects in the matter of efficiency and better work.

It is well understood, I believe, that new people are taken only if the old set refuses to work under the new conditions. For nothing proves that the new set will be more satisfactory.

25 February 1932

*

Mother,

In case a new servant is to be employed, I would prefer that he is given the work of the Meditation House as his main work. In addition, he could be given other minor chores, but the Dairy work should not be given to him.

And then another man for the dairy work?! How many more? …

One thing strikes me as very interesting: Savarhy must go; Patchai will leave the place; Roshan has to go; Dhanam had to leave; Moutalle is useless; Chellu is troublesome etc.

Quite right; they will all be spoiled one after the other — “à mauvais maître, mauvais serviteurs”[2] is a common saying in French.

27 February 1932

*

Amrita, you must pay the blacksmith boy for his days of absence due to the accident at work.

28 February 1932

*

Mother,

Dyuman seems to have objection in sending the new servant, Joseph, with dishes to the ladies of the Ashram. Therefore he did not send the new man with the dishes this afternoon. Perhaps it is better not to allow the man inside the Asram for a few days, during which time we can observe and study him. I don’t mean to say that he is untrustworthy, but he gives me a feeling of being an adventurer.

What is this? We have had enough of this type already!

29 February 1932

*

I had suggested pastilles de Lithine to take one after each meal. The lithiné water is good; but for lazy digestion the pastilles are also very effective.

5 March 1932

*

Mother,

The landlord informs me that only the bare land with its small dilapidated building will be given for rent — not the rest. He will come again to see me a little before six this evening.

This does not sound promising. Such a restricted occupancy of the land seems to me not worth more than Rs. 20 a year. For what guarantee shall we have that all the good manure will not be robbed away? It appears rather foolish to give such a high price to have our manure utilised “gratis” by others!

5 March 1932

*

Amrita, it seems that Dharmam has been doing very good work. When you pay her next Saturday you can give a tip of annas 7 a day for the number of days she did extra work.

7 March 1932

*

(Amrita sent the Mother a five-page summary of his horoscope reading by a Pondicherry astrologer. She commented:)

It shines by its inconsistency, incoherence, contradictions and nonsense.

Better not to be impressed by this worthless and untrue reading of your nature.

13 March 1932

*

Amrita,

If Govindbhai asks you for letters or messages do not give him anything private.

15 March 1932

*

Mother,

The cobbler Couppouswamy is back again in Pondicherry. He wishes to work for the Ashram on a monthly salary. Are there other things you wish to know from him?

Apart from asking what wages he wants, you can tell him that, in case we take him, he will have to do the work that is given to him (repair and new, whatever it is) and to attend for regular hours.

19 March 1932

*

Amrita,

How is it that the bolts of the milk pans are all getting lost? This won’t do. It will end by a serious accident; this kind of carelessness is intolerable; the pans must be mended at once.

30 March 1932

*

(To an Ashram garden worker who decided to quit his work because his request for an advance of two rupees had not been granted)

A good servant does not give up his work in a bad mood because his superiors have not acted exactly as he wishes. It was a serious mistake to quit like this because of the refusal to give you immediately the two rupees that you asked for. But I do not want to hold that against you because of your many years of service and your regularity in work. You may therefore return to work starting from tomorrow, but naturally we will be obliged to deduct from your pay the days you were absent.

In the future, when you want an advance in addition to that of the 15th, you should give at least one day’s notice so that I can decide.

30 March 1932

*

Mother,

Balanarayan asks your permission to go to some village nearby tomorrow in order to learn swimming in a tank. It seems some of the coolies of the Building Department have promised to teach him.

Certainly NOT. If he goes in spite of this it will be at his own risk as I can’t answer for what might happen.

4 April 1932

*

Mother,

I forgot to mention last night about Ammani’s request to you for a loan of Rs. 20 in order to meet the expenses of the removal of the corpse of her father, who died yesterday evening. I have not given Ammani the slightest hope of getting the money.

No money to be given. Sarala must be informed that Ammani will not go to her.

6 April 1932

*

Mother,

Today is the Payas[3] day. I propose the following arrangement: (details given).

Yes, it is all right. But you must see that, while waiting to be boiled, the milk does not get dirty. It seems that very often all sorts of uncongenial things are found in it.

11 April 1932

*

(Regarding the rent of a house)

For Monsieur Charles Passagne

I am quite astounded by this change of conditions after everything had been agreed. I had accepted the previous conditions, but I cannot accept these new ones.

25 April 1932

*

Amrita,

It seems that the milkmen are smoking inside the dairy itself — this is intolerable and must be stopped at once. They must finish their smoke before entering the house.

28 April 1932

*

Tobacco is the symbol of falsehood because you produce smoke out of your mouth! (says Sri Aurobindo)

8 May 1932

*

Amrita,

Chandulal was asking who would show to the carpenter the work that is to be done in the “terrain” house. I have suggested your name — what do you say about it?

19 May 1932

*

Mother,

The milkmen are not coming. It is 5 a.m. What am I expected to do?

If the milkmen don’t come we will have no milk today. We refuse to yield to their fancies and fetch milk from their house.

24 May 1932

*

Amrita,

The coolie in charge of the bullocks has been seen badly beating Tej. This is shameful and intolerable. Tell him in strong words, that if he gives one single blow more to any of the two bullocks he will be dismissed at once — and you can add that he must not hope that we shall not know about the beating, for we shall be informed of it immediately.

7 June 1932

*

Mother,

Duraiswami’s guests are arriving tomorrow and will stay in Chandrasekhar’s house. If Amal has to arrange for furniture for them, they will need three cots, three tables and three chairs.

I thought there was some furniture in that house — I don’t like very much to send the Asram furniture to an outside house. We can wait until they arrive and see what is truly needed.

11 June 1932

*

Mother,

The pushwallah has vacated the premise of the Josué House. He wants the promised amount of three rupees paid to him now.

Just now it is from the man to whom you give the Rs 3 that you must take a receipt. You will arrange with the proprietor afterwards.

Some temporary arrangement can be made just for this night, I suppose.

15 June 1932

*

(Amrita sent a note to the House Maintenance Service asking for a carpenter boy to open a bale of cloth from Bombay. The note was shown to the Mother, who wrote on the back:)

I am wondering why you disturbed a carpenter boy for opening a bale of cloth? Usually Purani was doing it all right with the help of one or two others. And if we had no workmen here what would you do?

17 June 1932

*

Mother,

Since Indrakumari and I were responsible for the loss of over one litre of milk, as per your decision to reduce this quantity from those responsible, I did not get milk for breakfast this morning. I somehow managed to have bread with water. But at lunch, when I was denied my share of curds, I thought: “If Mother were to deprive me of one of the food items for each fault of mine …” I could not even mentally complete the sentence. I felt my throat choking.

So food has still so much importance for you…

The first impulse in me was to tell You all that I have written above. Then a second impulse came, saying, “Don’t utter a word of this to the Mother. It is quite humiliating!” Later, still a third impulse said, “Put the whole thing in such a way as if you were an outsider and the whole comedy had been enacted by some other people.” I obeyed the first impulse.

You did well.

In the morning, while I was with You, I was able to put a pressure upon myself to keep from Your Presence my struggling part and to put in front of You my normal usual self.

It was quite visible for me that you were very nervous about the suppressed milk.

25 July 1932

*

Mother,

When Chandulal addresses me in his notes as his “lovable, loving brother”, there comes up in me a strong resentment. I am pushing it away by calling Your name. I am Your child and nobody’s brother.

If you are my child, then you are the brother of all my children. This seems to me logical. And if you object to being addressed as Chandulal’s brother, then you can say that it is Chandulal who is yours!

26 August 1932

*

(Letter of Amrita to Champaklal, with the Mother’s reply)

Champaklal,

I do not want an explanation from you. I request you to pass this letter on to the Mother.

This is not the first time you have been rude and inconsiderate towards me. Today you threw such dirt in my face that, but for the grace of the Mother, I would have sunk into depression. In my worst state, in my darkest of moods, I would never dream of saying, “The Mother is ferocious,” a condition generally attributed to wild animals.

You have a special knack of misunderstanding me. How could you even dream that I am capable of saying or feeling that “the Mother is ferocious”? But she is there and knows what I could have said or could not have said.

My poor Amrita

You are perfectly ridiculous. Why do you attach so much importance to a statement which, at the worst, could be considered a bad joke? I DIDN’T.

You must have a little more sense of humour.

Those who take offence are always wrong, to say nothing of those who take revenge!

August 1932

*

Mother,

How shall I adore you? By being happy and carefree in serving You? I shall not fail in using every opportunity that is put before me by You.

Yes, but also by meeting what comes from others with perfect equanimity.

31 August 1932

*

(Two sentences from the Mother’s Prayers and Meditations, chosen by her for Amrita)

To Amrita

What Thou willest, what Thou willest…

At every moment one must know how to lose everything in order to gain everything, to shed the past as a dead body and be reborn into a greater plenitude….

11 September 1932

*

Mother,

Kodandaraman comes to me and gives lengthy reports about the servants — his reason being that if You ask me about them, then I should be aware of what is going on. I told him that he need not take this precious precaution and not to speak to me at all about his affairs.

It would have been better not to say this, as his information can be useful.

Am I to strictly forbid any servant from asking me to make any kind of representation to You concerning him or her?

Certainly not.

Will you permit me to show to Kodandaraman what I have written above about him?

I do not see any necessity for your showing.

2 December 1932

*

Mother,

When I report something to You, how can I trust my discretion? If I don’t tell You everything, I feel uneasy. But if I tell You every detail, I feel I am wasting Your time or am giving You unnecessary worry and trouble. Two horns of the dilemma! Mother, tell me the way out.

Be simple, spontaneous, sincere.

2 December 1932

*

Mother,

It seems Kodandaraman is right about the deduction of two days’ wages from Muthu’s salary. He told me that You have sanctioned two days’ leave without pay because Muthu gave a false excuse for his two days’ absence.

You can tell Muthu that I am once again giving my consent not to deduct the two days’ wages, but that I am very unhappy with his bad habit of always telling lies and that he must learn to speak the truth; otherwise I will become unpardoning.

5 December 1932

*

Mother,

Kodandaraman seems to think that I have been the cause of much vexation to him on account of Muthu, Chellu and Marie. Perhaps he has good reasons on his side. The logic is evidently in his favour.

Even if one is right, one is always wrong to be vexed.

5 December 1932

*

I do not see on what grounds Dr. Aroule says that I am not answering his letters? Yourself you handed over to him a letter of mine not so long ago. You could have reminded him of that. As for seeing me he did not ask me an interview, so he cannot say that I refused it to him.

Finally I am not subletting his house, as I am receiving no money from the people who are occupying it, which can easily be proved. So the whole thing is mere rambling and I do not understand why you are in the least impressed by it.

6 December 1932

*

Amrita,

Will you speak to Shivalingam on my behalf and tell him that the place for the bullocks being very small, he must let Krishnayya tie the bullocks and the cow(?) on the mill platform when there is no chakki work. Krishnayya promises to clean the place afterwards.

13 December 1932

*

Amrita,

Krishnayya has made an astonishing report about Shivalingam’s behaviour. I asked him to show you the book in which the report was made. If the facts are found to be exact, you will have to speak to Shivalingam and to tell him that such conduct will not do at all. Things, work, etc. are arranged here with my sanction and no one can go on acting according to his whims and fancies. He will have to follow the discipline. Otherwise it will be impossible to entrust him any more with any responsible work.

19 December 1932

*

Mother,

It seems from what Jayaraj told me this morning that he is unable to easily digest the Ashram bread. It is the same old story! He doesn’t want to eat bread in the morning. He begs You to let him have one more banana in addition to the phoscao. The bread does not agree with him.

I firmly believe that he is unfit to receive the Asram food. It would be better if he could make some other arrangement from the first of next month.

He also does not like the cooked vegetables served in the evening. But he would like to have some cakes, if he could.

Strictly speaking, he could have one extra banana in the morning, but cakes in the evening is really a bit too much! If he were to have a meal elsewhere with the five rupees I take from him, what could he get!

24 December 1932

*

Mother,

You have asked, “When are there cakes in the Asram? I don’t understand.” Mother, Savitri bakes cakes from time to time. Evidently Jayaraj has received them from her each time. He asked You to let him have those Indian cakes, and nothing else.

But, Mother, all that doesn’t matter since I am going to advise him to make some other arrangement for his food. May I tell him that in Your name?

You should not speak harshly to him as if it were an order from me, but simply tell him that if the Asram food does not suit his stomach, it would be better to take food from elsewhere.

25 December 1932

*

Mother,

One of Purushottam’s gardeners — his name is Rajagopal — has asked me if his wife can come and pay her respects to you on New Year’s Day. This gardener is one of the newly married workers. Should I tell him that it is too late now?

Why answer him like that? Reply to him by giving an ordinary sari without money.

30 December 1932

*

Mother,

Venkataraman asked me whether I would show him the readings of my horoscope as calculated by Pavitra. I told him that they are not meant for circulation and that I could not give to anyone without your express sanction. He then asked me to ask you.

No.

6 January 1933

*

Mother,

Should I convey to Sowbhagyam your decision of this morning? You have relieved her of work from the Trésor House because she does not deserve even Rs. 10 a month. Her service at Trésor costs us Rs. 14.

That is not at all what I said. What I said is simply that since she gets tips in excess of her salary, I have increased her work at Trésor. If she finds the work too much (she did very badly elsewhere) and the salary not enough, she can see if she finds a better place elsewhere.

10 January 1933

*

Mother,

How long does a packet of the new shampoo, ‘Arys’, last? The previous brand, ‘Hilder’, used to last me for four baths.

I always bathe four times with a packet of ‘Arys’.

10 January 1933

*

Mother,

The two musician friends of Radhananda who came for the last Darshan of 24th November are editors of a monthly review in Tamil at Srivaikuntham. At their request I gave them some of my manuscripts — those that had already been published five or six years ago in several reviews of that time. The two men promised to publish them in book form, but they said that first they would publish them in their review in instalments in order to know which of these essays would be most in demand.

At that time I did not say anything to them. They have already published one of my essays in the January review. I don’t know why but I am not happy about it. It would be better not to continue, certainly for me and maybe for them too. Mother, if you have no objection, I will write to them asking them to discontinue publishing my manuscripts.

I don’t understand how one does something or takes a decision based on a vague impression when one does not know why. Before taking a decision one has to look at the sensation carefully to see from where it comes and what supports it. As for myself I cannot decide anything based on this kind of information. I need something much more precise than this — and first of all, what is the nature and subject of the articles, as well as the nature of the review in which it is being published.

11 January 1933

*

Mother,

Two fighting workers. J asked young D to bring some cloth for him from a village. The boy did not bring the cloth. The result was friction, scolding, indecent abuses — all from J’s side. The boy remained silent.

Have you heard J abusing the boy? Were you there when he did it? And if not, whose report is this? The boy’s or somebody else who witnessed the scene?

12 January 1933

*

Mother,

From the 17th of this month till today, I have given You a total of Rs. 73 — that works out to Rs. 9 per day. No doubt the amount goes to the Reserve Fund.

It is too much. I cannot put so much money aside. An average of two rupees a day is all I can do.

24 January 1933

*

Mother,

In whose name is the property-purchase contract to be made — in Sri Aurobindo’s name or yours? If this can be known today, the writing of the act will be commenced this day itself. Praying for an answer, if possible, today before 5 p.m.

Sri Aurobindo says to do in my name.

24 January 1933

*

Mother,

Do people come to you on their own or is it the influence of the stars that sends them here?

There is no question at all. It is one and the same, that is to say, it is neither the people who come to us, nor the stars that send them. There is one and same thing that organises the stars and makes the people move this way or that way.

I feel: “I am nobody, the stars are everything!”

I thought I had already explained to you that a person is born at a certain moment under certain astrological conditions because of what he is. It is quite wrong to believe that he is what he is because of the moment at which he is born. This last belief is the ignorant superstitious way of understanding the thing.

30 January 1933

*

Amrita,

You can say to Jayaraj that if he has no objection about living in the house at the manure ground, I am willing to give him some accommodation there without even asking any rent from him for that. You can show him the place and see what he says.

2 February 1933

*

Mother,

Varadou will come tomorrow morning. He will need to know your first name, your last name and your profession in order to prepare the lease. Will I be right in giving him the following information: “Madame Mira Alfassa, No profession”?

Yes.

I don’t know your first name.

My first name is Mira (in the birth certificate it is written with two ‘r’s — Mirra, but it doesn’t matter).

5 February 1933

*

Mother,

The Doctor is asking me for five rupees to disinfect the Budi House. I have given him three for the present. Shall I give him the rest?

Yes.

13 February 1933

*

Amrita,

Krishnayya wants to buy straw from Govindapillai like last year. But before doing it, is it not possible to ask from the “vieux grigou” [old miser] if he would not sell to us the provision of straw which is kept behind the “laiterie” [dairy]; it is a huge heap.

15 February 1933

*

Mother,

Will you permit me to have a rubber stamp on which can be printed simply “The Manager”?

Yes.

16 March 1933

*

Mother,

In 1930 Sri Aurobindo wrote to the head of the British Post Office that Amrita is the “Manager, Sri Aurobindo Asram, Pondicherry”. I always sign at the Post Office as the “Manager, the Arya Office, Pondicherry”. Now I find that Pavitra has given his address at the British Post Office as “The General Secretary, the Arya Office, Pondicherry”. Perhaps it would be better to have only one official with only one address, either the Manager or the General Secretary of either the Arya Office or the Arya Establishment.

What is this story again! Can Pavitra do the work that we need at the Post Office or can you do it well? Your proposal makes no sense and I fail to see how or why the Secretary and the Manager would be one and the same person!

17 February 1933

*

Mother,

Varadou desires to show you some samples of paddy so that you may select out of them. Do you want to see and choose, Mother?

I do not think it is necessary for me to see the samples of paddy. I trust it will be all right.

He will, if allowed, come and instruct us as to how to store the paddy so that it may last even more than two years, if needs be.

Yes, it is good if he shows.

22 February 1933

*

Mother,

This afternoon Dr. Manilal asked me for ten rupees for current expenses. I gave it to him and told him that he still had Rs. 150 remaining with me. He asked me, “Aren’t Rs. 160 remaining?” I was a little embarrassed. On the morning of the 18th, he gave me only Rs. 160. This afternoon I gave him Rs. 10. How can he say that Rs. 160 are still with me? I am not able to convince him.

In the future, you must give a receipt for the money received after you have counted it in the presence of the person who gave it to you.

I very much regret not having counted the money given to me and not having taken the signature of the one who gave it.

The best thing would be to have a notebook in which you write down the amount each time money is received and each time it is given back, and take the initials of the person who has given the money.

24 February 1933

*

Mother,

I have prepared a stamped receipt for Rs. 100 paid to the Modern Press today. It has been made in Nolini’s name after asking him if it should be in his name or yours. He replied that it could be in his name and asked me if he should sign it! I said it was to be signed by the person who receives the money.

But, Mother, when we paid the Modern Press Rs. 70 last time, we did not take any receipt from them. To have a receipt for one payment and not for another is irregular on our part. Either there should be a receipt for every payment or no receipt for any payment, is it not so?

You must obtain a receipt for the first payment also. For God’s sake, when will you all who have business to do become reliable businessmen!!

27 February 1933

*

Mother,

I did not receive Arjava yesterday. I was disinclined and indisposed.

You seem to be rather fanciful in your dealings with people.

3 March 1933

*

Mother,

According to the present agreement between the owner of the Josue House and us, we are to deduct Rs. 11 every month from the rent for the tax we pay on the house till the end of June. Thereafter the amount deducted will be Rs. 12 a month. But now the owner proposes that we deduct not more than a rupee and a quarter every month till the end of the lease.

Until when is the lease? Because you must understand that every year we shall have to pay the tax as she will not be able to do it — and then?…

The lease commenced on the 1st of December 1931 and will run up to the 30th of November 1934. The money paid to the owner, till the end of January 1933, was Rs. 559. as. 7. This includes the tax for 1933.

What about the tax for 1934?

The house owner has further proposed that if we pay the rent till the 30th of November 1934 in advance, a promise in writing will be given to us for the extension of the present lease for another three years. Her only condition is that the rental value of the house will have to be revised from the current Rs. 20 per month and not be less than Rs. 23 a month. Mother, how do you find her proposal?

She must not exaggerate all the same and believe us to be more stupid than we are! Who profits most by the extension of the lease? She or us? Where will she find tenants like us ready to pay all the rent in advance? To extend the lease for 3 years more cannot be considered as a concession to us. The most we can say is that it is reciprocal. As for the increase of rent it is an absurdity and I refuse or then I shall ask an interest of 6% on all the money she owes us and on the Rs. 147 she expects us to pay in advance. Her house is not worth more than 20 rupees and if she wants more she can seek for another tenant. Moreover I stick to the previous arrangement and will make not the slightest concession. What is written is written and we shall act accordingly.

4 March 1933

*

Mother,

Can outsiders such as house proprietors or their representatives come to the Pranam verandah — in other words up to my room?

Yes.

Mother, what arrangement can I make meeting these people who are connected with the work entrusted to me? Shall I receive them in the Library House or in the Meditation House?

I suppose there is no other way than to receive them in your room, as the Reception hall is a rather too open place for business.

Two or three days ago, someone came in a car at about 11.30 a.m., looking for me. He was told at the gate that I was not usually available between 11 and 12.30. No one knows who that visitor was. Mother, is it not better to take down the names of those who come with some purpose?

It had been told that always the name and the purpose of the visit must be taken down.

5 March 1933

*

Mother,

Regarding the porter who brings our fruit and vegetable baskets from the railway station: Up till now I have paid him the transport charges once a fortnight, calculating on the basis of the railway receipts we get. But sometimes when a receipt or two is missing, the porter gets less money. So what I would suggest is: Each time he brings the baskets, the person on duty at the Asram gate should give a receipt, mentioning the number of baskets, the date and hour and the porter’s name. Then I will feel sure in making payments against such receipts. Will you sanction such an arrangement, Mother?

Are the people at the gate capable of doing that without mistake? None seems to know sufficient Tamil for that.

5 March 1933

*

Mother,

I will need to buy the following material to make a mattress for Swasti: 2 maunds of cotton, 8 yards of printed cloth, 31/2 yards of unbleached cloth, and some one yard of coloured cloth for stitching the border. The mattress maker will take two days to make a new mattress. Is the work to be done in Arogya House No. 2 itself?

Yes.

We supply the material, is it not, Mother?

I do not understand what you mean. The mattress which is with Swasti was simply to be taken, undone, the cloth washed, the contents cleaned and the whole thing remade to the size of the cot in Swasti’s new room in Arogya No. 2. There had been no question of buying anything new and you speak as if we were doing altogether a new mattress!!

5 March 1933

*

Mother,

Krishnayya went to the Bank Garden yesterday and gave me a verbal report of the state of the place — it is in a very much dilapidated condition, with the mango trees practically dead, etc. But it struck me that it was not advisable for him to go there without your permission. I told him this morning that you would be displeased to hear about it. But perhaps I went out of the way in telling him that.

No, you did well.

7 March 1933

*

Mother,

I was to bring the Notary in the car at 4.30 p.m. for him to see the houses for which the deed has been drawn up. When I went to his house, I found him very busy and I waited for him till 5.45 p.m. Patience was finding me unworthy. Then he wanted to go in a rickshaw to a place near the railway station to get the signature of someone on whose behalf he had just concluded some business. He simply told me that he would come the next day for the inspection.

I thought one more day would be lost. Therefore, I offered the car to him so that our work could be done on that day itself. I do not know whether what I did was right, but the very next day the deed was drawn up. Mother, I want to know if it was a mistake to have given the car to the Notary without your prior permission. It will settle once and for all the matter of abuse of discretion on my part.

Evidently it was not correct, but it proved useful. Does the end justify the means? … It is the unsettled fight between the men of principles and the opportunists. I leave the problem unsolved, the point of view of the Truth being somewhat different!

7 March 1933

*

Mother,

When Varadou first informed us that the plot owned by the bank was for sale, it was felt that the whole deal could be done by correspondence. But the Notary insists that it be done by both parties meeting personally and that the Director of the bank will ask who the prospective buyer is. The Notary has decided to give my name as the buyer. I requested him not to mention the Asram as the interested party in buying the property. I will also keep in mind that you do not want your name to be mentioned to the Director.

But I would like to know whether you want me and Chandulal to go and see the plot. Will not Varadou alone do for the purpose? If he handles everything, we avoid all indications that could point out to who the buyer is. Also, is the idea of bargaining to be given up altogether? Have I understood the thing right?

No, not at all.

1. It is of the greatest importance that you should go with Chandulal and Varadou to see the condition of the estate. For instance, Varadou must be shown that the pump is not in working order (some parts were already missing when I went to the place) and repairs are out of the question. Pondicherry is not equipped for such kind of work. It means nothing short of a new pump, i.e. Rs. 3000. For the value of the property this is not negligible.

2. I object to your going to the bank for several reasons, the first being that too many clerks know you there and it is as good as if I went myself, as the Director would have only to ask his “personnel” (which he is bound to do) and he will know at once who is the buyer.

3. I am quite willing to leave Varadou to his intuition for working out the thing provided he does not bring me in until the price is settled, because it seems to me a condition of success.

It is by the way that I was saying this morning that if my name was to be mentioned, I could have done the whole thing myself without the help of anybody. But if I did not do it, it is because I am convinced the banker will raise his price the moment he knows it is I who want to buy.

Finally Varadou must know that the affair must in no way interfere with or delay the settlement of Siyali’s houses, as this purchase is more immediately needed and important than the other from the practical point of view.

I hope I have made myself clear this time.

8 March 1933

*

Mother,

I do not know whether you know the existing arrangement for payment in the Bullocks’ Department. Krishnayya pays the amount in advance to the cart-men directly. He takes the money from me with your sanction. I state this because Krishnayya told me this morning that today was the first time you did not smile at him at Pranam. And finally he told me that five rupees are missing from his room. It is this that makes me inform you that the advance money or any payment sanctioned by you for the cartmen is being given to Krishnayya, who in turn pays them.

It is better in future if you pay them directly.

15 March 1933

*

Mother,

S. Gangadharan of Veerampattanam, the man seeking Brahmacharya, came yesterday and gave a letter addressed to you. He came again today to ask if there was any answer from you. I have asked him to come and see me on Monday. Herein is a translation of his letter to you. I wrote about him in this notebook under yesterday’s date. Did you read it, Mother? I didn’t find any remark from you.

I had read it, but what to say? The whole thing does not seem to be very promising, and I am not eager to increase the number of the members of the Asram. You can postpone him, as we did for such a long time with Shivalingam.

16 March 1933

*

Mother,

Prasanna has been asking every alternate day if you have given permission for her pocket watch to be repaired. She feels that perhaps you are angry with her on hearing that she has spoiled it for the third time.

You can give the watch to be repaired but I do not see how we can entrust her with one as she so obviously does not know how to use it. Tell her that I have not yet decided if she will get the watch back or not, but that I am not angry.

16 March 1933

*

Mother,

I have paid the tax, but one of the hundred-rupee notes was not accepted because it has been cut in a rather zigzag way. Wherever I have tried to make payment with that note, it has not been accepted. But one of our milkmen, Gopal, is ready to accept it. His bill, till this evening, comes to fifty rupees. He will make up the balance of fifty rupees in another week. What do you say, Mother?

Yes, you can give him. I told you this morning that at the bank also they refuse to take these notes; it is only in Madras that they are bound to take them.

18 March 1933

*

Mother,

Can I ask Satyen and Rajangam to put their account books at my door not later than 7 p.m. every day? When I proposed it to Rajangam, he asked me whether it was your arrangement or I was doing it on my own responsibility.

When I wanted to undertake the work, it was Chandulal who suggested my room would suit me better than the accounts office. I too think so. Now I come to you for a better solution.

Amrita,

You can see by Rajangam’s letter (enclosed) that he has his own reasons for wishing it to be otherwise.

If each one thinks only of his own convenience I give up all attempts to come to a “better solution”.

18 March 1933

*

Mother,

I imagine that by now you must have already become despairing about me — repetition of mistakes, persistency of partiality, much self-revolving, repeated inaccuracy of reports, want of vision, especially clarity, etc. But after all, I am your child, Mother.

Certainly.

19 March 1933

*

Mother,

Last night I went to bed at 11.15; I couldn’t go to sleep earlier. I had to get up at 3.45 a.m. and I did. Tonight also I have no hopes of going to bed before 11.00.

I do not approve at all of this going to bed so late. If it is because of the accounts left by N.B., I shall be obliged to find somebody else to do them, as the absence of sleep is not at all favourable for the clarity of your mind!

20 March 1933

*

Mother,

De Quadros has been to see the Notary; later he met me. He wants me to convey his plea to you not to charge him the cost of the transfer of the title once you buy his house. He said he would bear half the cost of the Registration Charges and the Notary’s fee too. Both together may not exceed Rs. 150, I think. Lastly, he wants you to allow him to remain in the house till the end of April 1933, by which time he hopes to find a place on rent.

He will receive the totality of the money only when he quits his house. Anyhow the notary can see to all these details. But we must be a little careful as he is also the notary of the other party. We must not forget his attitude towards Mme. Hecquet and how he favoured her against us.

21 March 1933

*

Mother,

De Quadros pleaded very much that I should give him word on your behalf that he would receive Rs. 2500 in cash on the day he would actually leave the house, that is, sometime before 30th April 1933. I told him that you could give your word only after his papers were examined by the Notary to your satisfaction, and not before that.

Quite right. We must see the papers first and see how much is due upon the house. Once this figure is clearly settled, I shall give a final answer. As for the various expenses he need not worry about them; I take them at my charge.

He implored: “Don’t go back on your promise. Amal promised Rs. 7000 on behalf of the Mother; it has come down to Rs. 6750. Please see to it that the price doesn’t get reduced further. In any event I must receive Rs. 2500 in cash.”

You can tell him that I shall do my best to let him have the 2500 he asks, but nothing definitive can be settled before we know exactly how much he owes to his creditor. So the sooner the papers are handed over to the notary, the better.

This poor de Quadros is so anxious to have the thing finished that he has brought this paper to Amal. You will have to take it to the notary. I don’t feel like discussing the 2500 rupees. They represent so much more for him than for me! So the whole thing can be finally settled for Rs. 7000, on which I shall pay his debt on the day the sale deed is signed and the rest he will receive the day he hands over the house to us. I shall ask only that an inventory and statement of state of repair should be joined to the sale deed so that nothing can be changed, deteriorated or taken away between the signature of the documents and the actual handing over of the house by de Quadros.

22 March 1933

*

Mother,

Vishnu will be shown tonight how the accounts are to be done. Up till now when the accounts books were with Nolin Behari, nobody had an easy access to them. From now on, if these books are to be kept in the accounts office of the Meditation House on an open shelf, anybody can open them and take a look. This office is never locked. Mother, I do not know how you consider this matter.

It is better if the books remain with you and you will hand them over to Vishnu at the time when it is arranged for his work.

Is Vishnu to be told that he should not disclose the accounts figures to anybody? From tonight he will be in possession of the books.

No, this won’t do at all. You must keep them with you.

Nolin Behari was provided with a shelf for keeping the accounts books and stationery. Will you permit it to be shifted to the accounts office of the Meditation House?

It is not needed if you keep the books with you.

22 March 1933

*

Mother,

Venkataraman asked for milk from the Dairy early this morning. He said he would not take his share of milk from the Dining Room in the morning. Since he did not find Dyuman, he left word with Jivan and I gave him the quantity he wanted; he also bought milk worth one anna. Such an incident is rare. I considered the matter for some time before giving the milk. At one moment I was about to refuse, wanting to ask Venketaraman to bring your sanction, but I chose to risk giving it. Mother, what am I to do in such cases? Asking for your sanction at 4.30 a.m. is tantamount to a refusal. If I am allowed what is called “my way”, then I would rather give more often than not give.

Yes, most often it can be given.

24 March 1933

*

Mother,

Krishnayya wants to help me in the Dairy work. Mother, would you have any objection if I familiarised him with the work? After helping me for about two months, he could substitute for me from time to time instead of Dyuman who has a lot to do.

You could familiarise him with the work. But will he be able to receive and measure the milk? Will he be strict with the milkmen and conscientious in his supervision?

3 April 1933

*

Mother,

Each time I go to see Varadou, he strongly recommends a particular milkman who according to him will bring an excellent cow to us for milking and the cow will be very clean. The most important point, again according to Varadou, is that this man will not be merely a milkman on business terms with us but will deal with the Asram with devotion and sincerity. He prays to you to consider this point and hopes for a favourable reply from you.

Why should you not see this man without promising anything and see if his devotion, etc. are sincere?

10 April 1933

*

Mother,

Balanarayan tells me that he was given a present of one tray by the shopkeeper Appadurai. He is offering it to you, Mother.

It is an ash tray!

12 April 1933

*

Amrita,

Tulsi says that you told him to attend, this afternoon, to the arrival of the paddy. How is that? I never spoke of such a thing. Tulsi is busy with the Saverhy House repairs and can’t leave his work to attend to something else. He says also that bags are needed. How is it? The paddy is not coming in bags? How is it measured then? In that case you ought to have informed at least a fortnight ago, so that the necessary measures should have been taken. Now you have to find a man to receive the paddy. I suggest Rama Reddy or Balanarayan. I suppose coolies will be there to carry the bags.

If there is any other thing to decide you will speak of it this morning.

21 April 1933

*

Mother,

Krishnaswamy Chetty, father of Sri Ramalu, has again sent his prayer through Joseph for you to allow him at least to meditate in the Reception Hall where Sri Aurobindo’s photo is kept.

I think he can come once to the Reception Hall if he is so eager.

22 April 1933

*

Mother,

De Quadros, the previous owner of the house, has left behind a dog and two cats! As soon as the dog came out of the house we closed the door in such a way that it will not be able to enter again. I am sure that it will spend the whole night outside the house! What to do, Mother? It was very painful to put the dog out.

We cannot adopt a dog. It should be shown the way to the new house of de Quadros. Dogs are more attached to their masters than to their house.

26 April 1933

*

Mother,

Jayaraj, working in our Electricity Department, is not satisfied with the fate of his children in the convent here. He now wants to put his children in the convent at Cuddalore. For this purpose he wants to go to Cuddalore tomorrow to make enquiries. He asked me to inform you of this, the implied idea being to borrow money from you. I asked him how he meant to redeem himself from his debts; he had no answer to give.

I shall not give him. The whole thing is absurd.

28 April 1933

*

Mother,

Some of our paid servants have come together to form a group of either five or ten members among themselves. The group is formed for a certain number of months during which each member contributes a certain amount of money each month. The money thus collected is then distributed equally among the members of the group. The present group, made up of ten, has Kesavalou as one of its members, but now he refuses to give his monthly quota to the group. The group is alarmed and its members approach you for a solution.

I refuse to have anything to do with these affairs.

The whole thing is illegal and punishable. But this kind of thing is prevalent among the servant class and milkmen of Pondicherry. This is by the way. But what do you want me to tell them?

That I absolutely refuse to hear a single word about such things.

29 April 1933

*

Mother,

Balanarayan has accepted all your conditions — to return every evening to Cycle House at the time fixed by Benjamin and to obey all the rules of the House.

The important points being: no smoking, no chewing tobacco, no taking snuff.

30 April 1933

*

Mother,

You spoke at mid-day today about how to give pocket money to Sankara Rama. As nothing was decided at that time, I simply bring it before you again.

You might go to him and tell him simply: You know that Mother gives pocket money to all the members of the Asram. Would you like to have some?

4 May 1933

*

Amrita,

Benjamin is offering to take up the surveillance of Ammani for the mending work, until something is arranged. Ammani must be informed and Nolini will have to go with her to the Cocotiers to fetch all the things she was using for this mending work. A small almirah or the chest of drawers may be needed to keep all the work in course of doing.

Ammani will go also to Pavitra twice a week for ironing his things when washed.

5 May 1933

*

Mother,

Rama Reddy has invited me to his house for lunch tomorrow! I told him that I would write to you today and wait for the answer tomorrow morning. He bought a half-measure of milk for the purpose! The stomachic soul in me seems to be very influential!

You can go.

8 May 1933

*

Mother,

Ramchandra informs me that Louis Arogya [a local resident] has taken a turn to the Yoga. He has decided to join the Asram, but all depends on whether you will admit him or not.

It would be good if he could give the date and the time of his birth.

He wishes to have a waiting period of one month. He will use this time to send his mother to his elder brothers.

First I must see him once before deciding anything.

12 May 1933

*

Amrita,

A man is needed to bring the paddy up to the roof of the Canal House. A special coolie could be provided for that, but he must be, as far as possible, reliable. Will you see to it?

12 May 1933

*

Mother,

Louis Arogya will submit his personal documents to me tomorrow evening. What do you want me to do? Should I accept them so that I can give them to you? Advise me, Mother.

You can tell him that I usually don’t give advice in matters of this kind. Still, if he insists, you can take them and I will have a look at them.

14 May 1933

*

Mother,

Some time back, Subramania Chetty installed two water connections — one in Subbu House and the other in Josué House. We did not pay him for these additional connections. Today he has dug up the two notes for these connections from his archives! But the other day he signed for having received his dues till 30th April 1933. How can we be sure that he will not discover yet another note? But I don’t believe there is another note. Still, I can’t assure myself.

It is incomprehensible that we did not keep an exact account of all this. It is an unpardonable negligence.

14 May 1933

*

Mother,

While Premanand was translating for me some sentences underlined in Dahi’s letter, Nolini came to the Library to take Premanand’s signature on the circular about the meeting. Nolini wanted Premanand not to talk about it to anybody, not even Amal. Now Amal and Premanand have been very good friends for a long time. So Premanand came to me this afternoon to ask if he ought to change his attitude towards Amal. He asked me to write to you.

I prefer not to interfere in such matters.

15 May 1933

*

Mother,

For my meditation with Arjava in my room, I was using the rug from Duraiswami’s room during his absence. But today I was obliged to use one of the Pranam verandah rugs for the purpose. I have done it without your permission. For next time, well, I await your counsel.

It is all right.

18 May 1933

*

Mother,

Paying one person out of other people’s money introduces difficulty in accounting. For example, two or three days ago I received Rs. 133 from you. But at the time of payment I found that I needed Rs. 159. So I took the remaining amount from the money deposited with me by someone. And in the accounts book I marked Rs. 159 as if received from you. That doesn’t seem fair.

You must once for all stop touching to the money deposited with you. Each one must have his money in a separate envelope with the amount written clearly, and if he draws it out by instalments that must be written also with the date. Any other process can lead to much confusion and great bother. Remember what was on the point of happening with Dr. Manilal, and also how Becharlal took back his money with a fright. Such things must, by all means, be avoided.

I therefore suggest, first, that I pay only with the money I receive from you. The moment it is finished, I will simply say, “Tomorrow”. And second, that those who want money due to them and who have your sanction behind their claim must inform me at least 24 hours in advance in writing.

Of whom are you speaking? Not the people who have deposited money with you, I hope? For the money is theirs and must be given back at once on demand. Any other dealing is dishonest and cannot be tolerated.

18 May 1933

*

Amrita,

Information from the Canal House that to-day the coolie will be needed only morning and evening to carry the paddy up and down the roof.

20 May 1933

*

Mother,

I have a proposal to make for drying the paddy quickly. If you agree to give your permission to carry it out, then everything could be arranged as follows:

1. Six to seven workers will put the entire quantity of paddy into sacks.

First expenditure.

2. Krishnayya will transport the sacks before 7.30 in the morning from Calve House to the Granary.

Second expenditure.

3. In the afternoon the paddy will be ready in the sacks to leave at 3.00 in order to reach Calve House before 5.00.

Third expenditure.

How complicated all this looks to me!

20 May 1933

*

Mother,

But what to do about the paddy? One has to choose either to finish the work in one day or to dry the paddy little by little for five days on the roof of Calve House.

Arrange all that if you like — but don’t ask me questions about minor details.

22 May 1933

*

Amrita,

Are you using the almirah which came from Meenakshi’s house? If you are making no use of it, you might send it back to them as they are needing an almirah for the serving. But if you are using it, I shall have a smaller one made for them.

22 May 1933

*

Mother,

What would you like me to do with the pistachios and raisins I received today? Can I give them to Dyuman?

Yes, but it would be better if someone is willing to prepare 120 packets, so that the work of the Dining Room is made easier.

27 May 1933

*

Mother,

Pujalal asked in the evening to give him the address of V. Venkataraman in order to have an English dictionary brought from Madras. Can I give it to him, Mother?

He intends to pay for this dictionary, I believe? You must make sure and only under this condition can you give it to him.

2 June 1933

*

Mother,

Louis Arogiassami of Reddiyarpalayam asked me whether he could come more often for the Pranam. He has a cycle and he could come every day, if permitted.

He can come.

He plans to send his mother to his brother’s house. Once that is taken care of, he wants to know whether he can come into the Asram to lead its life at once.

I would like you to show him the rules of the Asram, translating and explaining them to him, so that he may think about it again before asking for admission. You can tell him also that, if admitted, it will be first on trial as it always is. Final admission coming only after some time, when it is proved that he can conform himself with the Asram life and obligations.

3 June 1933

*

Mother,

Mouttou Maistry, the washerman of the Ganapati Garage, is asking for a further extension of his deadline for vacating the place. He asks to be allowed to stay until next Wednesday, promising to hand over the key either on Wednesday night or on Thursday morning.

This comedy has sufficiently lasted. He can drag us on like that indefinitely. Make him sign a paper this time. (Ask Duraiswami in what words to put it so that we can turn him out of the place if need be.)

3 June 1933

*

Mother,

Just now (10.10 p.m.) Dyuman reminds me that the Dining Room does not sell milk and that it has not done so for the last two years. But Dande has already been asked to go to the Dining Room for his one anna of hot milk. Dande says he cannot go either to the Dining Room or to the Dairy before 6.30 a.m. But the entire amount of milk is sent to the Dining Room a little before 6 a.m. Now what is to be done?

I do not see the difficulty. Dande can take the milk from the D.R. and give the money to you as well as if he was taking it from the dairy. For writing the accounts you simply mark: sale of milk. You need not mark from where the milk has been given.

3 June 1933

*

Mother,

Dyuman is somewhat upset because Jivan issued milk to Dande without consulting him. Nolini asked me yesterday to inform Dyuman about Dande’s going to the Dining Room to receive hot milk, but I failed to inform him of it.

But Mother, did you tell Nolini that Dande could have his milk from the D.R.?

No, we never spoke to Nolini about it and never thought of the D.R. as we did not know that Dande wanted hot milk.

Mother, will you sanction at all the sale of milk from the D.R.?

Not the sale but the giving. You will have to keep the account and receive the money.

4 June 1933

*

Mother,

The parcel was unregistered and I put the signature in the postman’s book on behalf of Kantilal.

I never heard that an unregistered parcel needed a signature. And if a signature was needed it was a great mistake to have put one in somebody’s behalf.

7 June 1933

*

Amrita,

Shanta complains that the lock of the granary cannot open (in Canal House) — mishandling, I suppose — and she is asking for a new one. Will you go and see if the report is exact and if a new lock is truly needed.

15 June 1933

*

Mother,

Which of the two notices below will be preferable?

Chairs are forbidden to be taken up to the roof

or

Chairs are forbidden to be taken up to the roof

By order

Chairs are not to be taken on the roofs

or

It is forbidden to take up chairs on the roofs

By Order

This is preferable.

23 July 1933

*

Mother,

With an exceptionally silent mind, I met Sachi and Manubhai separately. I experienced an unusual clarity while understanding what they said to me. I prayed to you before going to them. It is nice to listen silently to the one who speaks.

Bravo!

11 September 1933

*

Mother,

M. B. Desai gave me a cheque for Rs. 91.5 annas this afternoon, saying that Rs. 60 was for the Asram for the month of September and that the rest was for his wife which he would send to her at the end of the month. In the evening he told me not to encash the cheque now since it is only the 12th of the month. He said to add the amount of Rs. 91.5 to his deposit account and to pay the Mother either at the end of the month or on the first of next month.

I was simply stunned. I told him, “I am not paying you any interest till the end of the month, and I am not interested in guarding your money. Why keep the money with me?”

His cheque will not be paid to me, the money will go straight to my account as it is a crossed cheque.

If he goes on like that, I do not see why I should cash his cheques for him and pay out of my own pocket the expenses of cashing them (some 8 to 12 annas usually).

He further said that if you had accepted him in the Asram, then you could have cashed the cheque and kept the money with you. Only the Asram would have to send, on the first of every month, Rs. 31.5 to his wife from his pension of Rs. 91.5. He added: “I am only here temporarily. I will wait and see up to November what happens to me.”

This attitude is not very encouraging to take him as a permanent member!

12 September 1933

*

Mother,

Sanchi says the “Patience” tree in front of the Bakery is not growing well because another tree, “Vital stability”, has grown very big. It seems this tree was intended to be cut down originally. He wants to know whether he can uproot it.

NO.

If this is not permitted, then will you allow him to prune the tree closely?

NO — enough of massacring trees to satisfy the desires of each and every one!

12 September 1933

*

Mother,

Kalasti, one of our workers, received Rs. 20 against a signed receipt of Rs. 30. But Rs. 20 was enough to turn him tipsy. He is absent today, without informing!

Change the figure on the receipt, writing in the margin = I say Rs. 20 and signing.

The day must be deducted from his pay — and no more money lent to him — take note of this for the future.

12 September 1933

*

Mother,

Kodandaraman engaged two coolies for two hours to shift Dilip’s belongings. He paid them Rs. 1. That is really something! He took the money from me in the morning and gave me the account in the evening.

It is absurd! And why does he do things like that without permission? He said that he would have to move the things of Dilip (to which it was answered yes) but never mentioned coolies. Next time, if he has not my previous sanction, no money will be given to him.

12 September 1933

*

Amrita,

Mridu says that the big cane table is too big for her; if you have a smaller one of the same kind she will take it; anyhow she wants the big one to be removed. So you can take it away.

23 September 1933

*

Mother,

I have informed M. B. Desai that the bank has transferred to your credit the sum of Rs. 90, 8 as. This afternoon he received from me Rs. 10 and 8 as. In my notebook I will note Rs. 80 to the credit of M. B. Desai. Have I done the right thing, Mother?

Is it he who asked you to give him only Rs. 10, 8 as? I had written to you to give him Rs. 30, 9 as, and I was planning to credit him with Rs. 60 given to the Ashram.

26 September 1933

*

(Regarding measurements for a wooden stool for the bakery)

Amrita,

I do not understand these measurements. You will have to go and verify what he wants.

29 September 1933

*

Mother,

Gangadhar requests you to give him an umbrella because of the rainy season.

Amrita,

Wouldn’t it be better if he had a cloak with a hood? You can ask him, and if he wants one we can give him one from the Stores.

29 September 1933

*

Mother,

For the purchase of the two houses we are interested in buying, I have been negotiating with the owners or their representatives for some time now. Hours and hours, with wholehearted devotion to You, I have mixed with these outsiders, now cajoling, now persuading, now influencing them and so on. But one of them, Sri Ramalu, went too far this morning in insisting upon his foolish demands after the agreed amount has been paid by us.

Later, when I suggested to you that the deed could be annulled, you laughed at me. I swallowed whatever was hurled at me. But, Mother, even now, we can have back the entire amount we have paid.

It is the absurdity of the proposal that shocked me. To have taken so much trouble and when one has succeeded, suddenly to undo everything! It would be mere folly. The very idea of it seems to me grotesque.

It was like receiving blow upon blow from you. I thought that you found it difficult to trust me.

Nonsense! It was not at all for such a reason.

I still feel that the deed should not be annulled. After all the Notary has not yet put his signature on it. I already told you that this is quite out of the question. I never thought of it, even for a second. It would be the last of absurdities.

Mother,

I would like to be freed from meeting the outside people for various types of work. I am very much shaken. From tomorrow shall I stop giving money to Satyen for the daily expenses? And why should I keep other people’s money in my safe? Money is troublesome, Mother, and I am made of such poor stuff. Please save me.

What is all this? ... When Pavitra told me this evening that you had wept at 3 o’clock, I was moved and felt great pity — but now I see that these were tears from wounded “amour-propre” and not from the heart anxious for progress ...

So, you would like better to throw all the work away from your shoulders (not even thinking of the difficulties to which it could put me) rather than accept the idea that you have to make a progress and that you will make it?

You ask to be saved. There is only one way: remain firm at your post; recover your lost faith, and where you see now the sign of a lack of trust in you and of unjust or, at least, undeserved severity, recognise the action of the Divine Grace labouring to make you rise above this condition of impotent and confused humanity, into a state of clear, luminous and powerful Consciousness.

8 December 1933

*

Mother,

This evening Padmasini told me that her happiness in being here is slowly growing. But then this afternoon, after returning from Aroumé, she felt as if her heart was choking and she was overpowered by a sense of cold, accompanied by a slight shiver. She also felt like weeping but did not know why. She added that she has never experienced fear or loneliness. It seems some people in Aroumé told her that if she is afraid of living all alone in the house, she should tell you and that you will arrange for another member of the Asram to live with her. She told those people that she has no fear and she feels your Presence. I forgot to ask her who told her all those things.

Yes, better ask her who it is.

But she is wondering why the choking in the heart, etc. in spite of feeling you?

You must tell her that it is the disbelief of others that disturbs her faith and confidence. She must not listen to what others say and keep her faith and confidence intact.

29 January 1934

*

Mother,

A few things continue to puzzle me; no, they even trouble me. A certain atmosphere sometimes develops that prevents the actual facts from being presented to you. The result is that something not exactly wanted or needed is either constructed or furnished which fails to satisfy the person concerned.

For instance, Chandulal’s latest proposal is to put a broad, half-opened conduit broad pipe made of a thick iron sheet between the well and the cistern. It will satisfy neither Rama Reddy nor the servant who has to fill the cistern. And is the proposal economical? Instead a cement wall 60 cm high will stand easily for five years and the cost will surely not be exorbitant. Why can’t Chandulal see it? It becomes very much annoying when one has to go on day after day even when the inconvenience or difficulty is small.

I completely fail to understand why a wall would be more convenient than the semi-circular pipe. It is not Chandulal but I who suggested that as the simplest and most practical way if it is done properly. Now, if your happiness and quietness depends on the wall, you can certainly have it.

18 April 1934

*

Mother,

I would prefer that Vishnu be present when Kodandaraman and I meet. Next Monday I will place before you the result of the meeting. All this will take place provided you approve of the meeting.

Yes, I approve of your meeting and you can show him the accounts concerning the servants, but no others. He need not see also the accounts of the Atelier people. Vishnu can be present.

8 September 1934

*

Mother,

When milking began at 4.30 a.m., our policy was to fine the milkmen who came late. Now and then some of them would come late by five, ten or twenty minutes and this caused a lot of inconvenience to us. The fine levied up to now was three paise for every five minutes late. Now, as the milking starts at 5.00 a.m., Rama Reddy and I propose to you to increase the fine to one anna for every five minutes after 5.00 a.m.

Better speak to the milkmen first, explain to them the situation and threaten with the one anna fine before actually giving it.

30 October 1934

*

Mother,

Rajangam informs me that there is a veterinary doctor in town. If Mother wants, Rajangam could bring him to the Dairy tomorrow afternoon for a consultation with regard to the condition of the cows. He charges two rupees per visit.

Certainly it should be arranged for him to come and do not forget to ask him whether it is dangerous to take the milk of cows which have the illness.

9 December 1935

*

Sweet Mother,

To what extent should one be wary of personal decisions and judgments? Is it the will or the need in one’s surroundings that determines what one should do? But neither the one nor the other should determine it. Should one remain passive?

No, obey only the divine will.

How can one know what you want in every detail of practical daily life?

Learn to be quiet (make your mind quiet) and listen in the silence.

20 December 1935

*

Mother,

On the 23rd evening Dyuman spoke to me about the D.R., his two morning milk deliveries to the D.R., and also about Madanlal. Instead of limiting himself to the problem at hand, he rambled on here and there, sometimes persuading me, sometimes convincing me in an insistent, disturbing and slightly unpleasant way. Remaining silent until the end — almost two hours! — I heard all that he told me. That evening I was troubled and greatly regretted not presenting my case.

On the 24th morning he showed me his notebook and I saw your remark about the Madanlal affair. But what astonished me was his casual phrase “Dyuman had to confess”. When I read this, I told him in a stern tone: “I kept my mouth shut in front of you because I did not want to displease you. But that does not mean that I agreed with your opinion. Now you have forced me to tell you my side ...”

What to do, Sweet Mother? How can one know what you want in every detail of practical daily life?

If you don’t get rid of your ego, there will be no one, finally, with whom you won’t quarrel.

26 December 1935

*

Amrita,

Yes, I am always with you to help you in your difficulties. But you must learn to open yourself and receive that help.

With my blessings

3 February 1936

*

Mother,

Regarding the absence of domestic workers. A few months ago you told me that we could deduct money for absence from the Darshan tips we give them. I request you to allow me to deduct either the entire amount or part of it during the Darshan month.

In that case, it must be explained very clearly to them that we are starting from this month, so that there is no misunderstanding.

5 February 1936

*

(Note by Amrita to Kanai:) May I know whether you have taken permission from the Mother for getting kuja water from the filter? According to the rule in force, the Mother’s permission is needed to get the filter water. I write the above to you merely as information, because I heard from a servant that he brought kuja water for you; he came to me at 5.45 p.m. instead of 5.00 p.m.

Really, you could have avoided making a big fuss for such a small thing. I gave the permission.

20 March 1936

*

Mother,

Kiran, who already has one table, is asking for a second one in which to keep the photos. We have a dozen cane tables but she wants to have one with drawers.

We cannot give a cane table for keeping the photographs. It is impossible to give two tables with drawers to one person.

10 April 1936

*

Mother,

Some relatives of Yagnalakshmi have arrived and she would like to receive them at her place — that is, at Aroul House. She asks you if she may. I saw those people when they were talking on the footpath of Aroul House with S. Ram and Yagnalakshmi. There are two children (a girl and a boy) and a man and a woman.

If she receives them downstairs, it is all right. Upstairs, it is not possible.

11 April 1936

*

Amrita

When you have some information to give me about somebody, it is better to give it (or write it) privately, not to speak in front of others.

17 June 1936

*

Mother,

Ambu informs me that Mother has asked him to speak to me about the periodical checking of the weights of the Building Service. Chandulal will not allow him to do this, unless he presents an authorisation written by the Mother.

He never spoke a word to me about this subject and naturally I said nothing to him on the subject because I am absolutely ignorant about this matter.

I will not give any authorisation before speaking to Chandulal about it.

18 June 1936

*

Sweet Mother,

You have spoken about the use of servants in connection with excessive expenses. I would very much like to put before you some suggestions:

1. Give up all the special services: laundry, hot water supply, mosquito-net cleaning, etc.

2. Limit the sweeping of pavements and cleaning of gutters to once a day.

3. Clean the walls, doors and windows only once in every three months.

4. Give up the preparation of manure. The cost of the manure we are making ourselves is quite high. For two or three rupees a month, the municipal workers would be willing to remove our garbage.

In this way we could get rid of six or seven domestic workers.

Sweet Mother has spoken about the confusion around me. How can I get out of these difficulties?

All this has saddened me greatly, Sweet Mother.

There is no reason to be sad or to take sudden measures which can only be arbitrary and, as a result, will only replace one confusion with another. If I saw clearly what should be done, I would tell you and the problem would be solved. My comment today was made more to correct a state of mind than to change the state of things. First the true consciousness of things has to come before we can usefully change the aspects of action. This morning I said that everything will be fine when the Light comes down into the subconscient. This in fact is the only remedy and this is what you must work for. For this my help is always with you, but you must learn to take advantage of it.

With my blessings

8 August 1936

*

Amrita

1. I asked Jotindra to explain everything to the owner of Sadhana House so that it will not be necessary for Chandulal to go there. But you must be there.

2. The owner should not forget that we have given him the full rent in advance and that therefore it is dishonest of him to say that we abandoned the house. Is he ready to reimburse the money we have given him?

December 1940

*

Mother,

Vinata is asking for seven extra keys for the gate of Montbrun House to minimise the theft in the house. Each inmate will have one key.

This seems to me increasing the danger instead of diminishing it as some people are sure to lose their keys.

But do for the best …

5 September 1955

[1] A.G. = Aurobindo Ghose. Sri Aurobindo was known as “A.G.” up till the end of 1926.

[2] To a bad master, bad servants.

[3] Payas: a sweet rice-pudding made with thickened milk.

Series Two
Correspondence with Amal Kiran

Amal Kiran was born Kekoo Dhunibhoy Sethna in Bombay on 25 November 1904. He joined the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in February 1927 at the age of twenty-two. After eleven years in the Ashram, he went back to Bombay where he lived for the next sixteen years. There in 1949 he started a journal, Mother India, which was largely devoted to the spiritual teaching and practice of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother.

Amal returned to Pondicherry in February 1954 and remained for the rest of his life. His principal work was editing the monthly Mother India. Artist, poet, literary critic and all-round intellectual, he was a prolific writer and the author of more than a dozen books. On 29 June 2011 he passed away at the age of one hundred and six.

Amal’s correspondence with Sri Aurobindo was extensive. His interest in poetry elicited hundreds of comments by Sri Aurobindo on poetic creation and the composition of his epic Savitri. Amal’s correspondence with the Mother was also substantial. More down to earth, it dealt largely with personal problems, family affairs and the editing of Mother India. Many of these exchanges are included here to show how the Mother handled this brilliant and spirited disciple; they also reveal her deep concern for him.

The correspondence covers the period from 1930 to 1970. Most of the entries are in English; those in French appear here in translation.

(Amal’s first work in the Ashram was managing the Furniture Service. Several of the entries below are examples of furniture chits given in the early 1930s.)

To Kekoo,

Govindbhai is not satisfied with his easy-chair. Please take it back from him and give it to the next applicant. Let us hope he will be less dainty.

c. 1930

*

Amal,

Subhadra is asking, for books, a shelf of 3 feet x 3 ft x 1.1/2 ft. This is quite ridiculously big — it would hold a full library! Even if you had anything of the kind, I would tell you not to give it. But one of the biggest among Purani’s shelves could be offered.

I shall probably require the shelf you showed me some time ago. You can give it after “pranam”.

14 May 1932

*

Amal,

As I do not want to refuse your present, I am keeping the Parker you have offered — but as you may like to have a fountain pen I am sending you this one (with which I am writing). Although it is not so up-to-date as yours, it is not old as it has scarcely been used.

15 November 1932

*

Amal,

Will you ask Nolini for the list of the people coming for the 21st who are to be accommodated in the Asram and see if you have the necessary cots, chairs, tables. If something is missing let me know as soon as possible.

Benu is coming, do you have a cot to fit him?

5 February 1933

*

Amal,

Is it true that Krishna Shambhu is without a wooden cot? How is it? Will you go to his room and see, and if he has none give him one out of the last ones that have been made. You can tell him, by the way, that I was convinced a wooden cot had been given to him.

16 February 1933

*

Mother,

As regards Vishnu’s request to be given back his old cane table in addition to the new wooden one, it seems he has no trunk or anything in which to keep his clothes and other things. So should I give him the table or will some other arrangement be made for him?

Don’t you think that a box would prove more useful for him than a table? Do you have some box that you could give him?

c. 1933

*

Mother,

Mr. De Quadros of 16, rue de la Marine, the house next to the vegetable garden, came to see me this morning. He said that he wanted to sell his house. Two years ago Chandulal had made a thorough survey of it and, with your advice, offered Rs. 6000.

Mr. De Quadros had set up a higher figure — Rs. 9000 or so; but now he names Rs. 7500. He says he’d like to sell to the Ashram and this is the sum he specially mentions for it; for others he would state a bigger one. He asked me to look in and let him know your reply.

You might see the man and tell him that I am ready to buy his house for Rs. 6500 if he wants.

c. 1933

*

Mother,

This morning I was told by Mr. Vigie that Nandini was staying upstairs in his house and that she was eager to see me. I went and there she was, in bed and unwell, and there was talk of sending for a doctor. I sat down and talked a little and expressed my impression that she had gone away from the Asram all of a sudden. But the story I hear from Nandini is quite another. It seems that last night she returned to the house to sleep and she was turned away by the girls. They said that the Mother had given orders that if Nandini came back she was not to be admitted but to be sent to Amrita.

I do not dare to judge your intentions, Mother, but when I was asked if that was a decent thing to do, I could not help agreeing that to refuse entrance to Nandini at night to her own room was rather bad, especially when it was clear that she had not left the house to go and stay elsewhere — in that case she would not have left all her belongings behind. Nobody would leave his or her clothes and go away, so I don’t know why it was understood that she wouldn’t return. It seems she had no other clothes except what was on her and it was a great shock to her to be turned away like that in the night. Was it really done according to your order, Mother?

The report is false — she has not been turned out of her rooms — and it seems to me that you have rather too readily accepted this suggestion. As she had moved away things without any previous notice and she was taking no trouble to let us know of her whereabouts, we had her door locked to be sure to meet her when she came back, if at all she came. She was told to go to Amrita who had the key and would open the door to her. She was, it seems, quite out of temper and it is probably why she did not understand what was told to her. It seems to me that, in future, it would be better if you reserved your judgment and your remarks about it to outsiders until you learn the truth about circumstances from Sri Aurobindo and myself.

13 November 1933

*

(After nearly seven years in the Ashram, Amal went to Bombay for a five-month visit. During this period the Mother sent him the two letters below.)

Amal,

Happy to learn that you are all right now.

I’m feeling somewhat astonished that my “line” did not materialise last time; it had really the intention of doing it.

Do not let M or anybody else keep you away for a longer time than strictly indispensable.

9 April 1934

*

Amal,

I received the paints two days back; they are very pretty and will prove quite useful. But still there is one shade that is missing. Do you remember the flowers of protection? It is practically impossible to paint them unless we have a colour which is, I think, called in English “Magenta”. If you could discover this ideal colour somewhere, I would be very glad to receive it.

Happy to hear that you have quite recovered. We received the nice letter of M and sent her our blessings today by wire.

Always with you.

25 April 1934

*

(After his visit to Bombay, Amal returned to Pondicherry.)

Mother,

Pardon my writing to you without any specific reason; but I felt like telling you that you are extremely dear to me. In spite of my thousand and three imperfections, this one sense remains in me — that you are my Mother, that I am born from your heart. It is the only truth I seem to have realised in all these years. A very unfortunate thing, perhaps, that I have realised no other truth; but I deeply thank you that I have been enabled to feel this much at least.[1]

My blessings are always with you.

17 September 1934

*

Mother,

It seems centuries since you called me last for an interview. I feel I have grown old and grey, waiting — waiting — waiting. I hope you don’t want me to wait till I feel quite like a Methuselah!

I fear you will have to wait till Saturday the 16th, to see me. Let us hope your hair won’t turn quite white!

10 February 1935

*

Mother,

About L. If pain in the tooth becomes again acute, she would like very much to have some sedative medicine, because she feels very exhausted and would welcome any relief, however temporary. Or if you don’t approve of medicine, she begs you to give her a lot of sleep in the night. If the fever is high also in the night, she might like to have somebody near to help her, provided you think so too.

Yes, it would be better if somebody is with her at night. Let her say whom she would like to have — and if the pain starts again it seems unavoidable to give her some medicine. You might speak to Pavitra about it — he has something helpful with him.

More ice and fruit juice can be given if needed — only one shall require the flasks.

29 March 1935

*

Mother,

I had been expecting a reply from you but I got it this morning in your face. I suddenly resolved not to touch drink again. Facing myself later, I perceived that if it was at all necessary to drink something nice, I must try to confine myself to innocent cold drinks.

Then I fell asleep and had a most frightfully realistic dream in which my teeth broke off in my mouth and fell out in my hand and on the floor. I dreamed that I got up, but in that condition I discovered that my teeth came loose and I spat out quite a lot of them. I was terribly pained to see such a thing. I really woke up after this and, understanding what the falling of the teeth meant, I felt a great release, a fine sense of openness to you and a freedom from the old consciousness.

I am happy at your resolution and I hope you will keep to it. I was going to write to you that you must choose between seeing me and drink — for I would not see you if you went on drinking — but I am glad to hear that you have made the resolution already.

11 October 1935

*

Mother,

In the talk I had with you about my stammering, I understood your words “I shall see” to mean some inner perception on your part. I certainly have a faith in Dr. Ramchandra’s treatment,[2] but is your sanction based on your inner perception?

The sanction is given because Ramchandra’s treatment has, when given a chance, proved surprisingly successful even in hopeless and impossible cases. Naturally in all his cases sanctioned by us we put our Force behind him; he himself always asks that of us as a condition for his taking the case.

23 March 1936

*

Mother,

D writes: “The Mother’s power has broken down all the barriers peacefully, and to my utter amazement Mrs. C said I could go in November for Darshan but must return soon.” So D will be here round about the 20th of next month.

She writes further: “Please ask Mother if she would allow me to bring a blue-flame stove, as I am to have hot water every morning and enema every week. Besides, if it is cold I can have a little warm bath. If food is too spicy on certain days I can boil some vegetables. And please let me know which rooms I shall have. I like the rooms I had last time very much as they are open and clean; also those inmates are very good. Tomorrow I shall consult Dr. S as I have a severe pain in my chest. Hope nothing will stop my coming.”

D has enclosed a letter for you, which I am sending herewith. Any reply to it? And what reply shall I give to the inquiries quoted above?

You may write to D that she can come. The rooms she was occupying have been nicely arranged for J — they are most comfortable now. I hope she will not spoil them with her cooking. I do not like much the idea of it — but … She asks to pay only Rs. 30 a month. Considering the present accommodation the price is somewhat ridiculous, but as she says she cannot give more, then…

Of course, if she has any serious illness, she must not come.

31 October 1937

*

Mother,

I have received a letter from my brother H. He writes among other things: “There is too much intellectualism in Cambridge. Men worship the intellect as if it were a deity; and there is too much desire in everyone to be as busy as possible, without stopping to reflect on what the whole business is about. For the moment I have to throw in my lot with them and I am naturally influenced by the busy life around me and the intellectual pursuits. The greatest consequence, about which I am worried, is that I feel that I am very far away from the Mother and Sri Aurobindo. I shall indeed be very grateful if you will ask Mother on my behalf to help me to overcome this feeling and also to enable me to be in touch with her.

“There is another point. For the last eight days I am having a somewhat persistent pain in the lower part of the bone above the heel of my left foot. The difficulty is that every shoe I wear touches this painful spot and so whenever I go out I feel its presence acutely. I shall be very grateful to Mother if she will kindly help me to remove it.”

Please give me some message to send H.

What to say about H except that the pain in his foot is the result of the bad climate just as the lack of contact with Sri Aurobindo and myself is the result of uncongenial surroundings …

12 November 1937

*

Mother,

What you have said about H’s troubles is quite true, but as he has asked for advice and help, I should like to send him some reassuring words from you, both as regards his foot-pain and his inner difficulty. I am sure he’ll appreciate them very much.

Let him react against the contagion of the atmosphere and keep his inner being open to us — that is the only way to overcome these troubles.

13 November 1937

*

Mother,

You must be remembering the name MB. It is the name of a girl who came here some years ago in order to make research in the archives of Pondicherry in connection with an historical thesis she was writing for her M.A. She got her degree, but otherwise she has been passing through very unfortunate experiences and radical disappointments with the result that she is thoroughly tired of the ordinary life.

In her latest letter she expresses her aspiration to take up yoga. In conclusion she adds: “I will come to Pondicherry as soon as I get an opportunity. Do you think I would be allowed to stay at the Asram for a fortnight? It is because I will be coming there for the Asram and if I am not permitted to stay there it would not be much good.” She is the head-mistress of a well-known school for girls in Bombay. I suppose she wants to come during a vacation. May I give her hope that you will permit her to stay in the Asram?

Truly I have no room.

15 November 1937

*

Mother,

If MB stays somewhere outside, will you permit her to come to pranam and meditation? What shall I reply to her? Should I give her to understand that you reject altogether her wish to taste of our yoga? She says that it’s not mere curiosity which is prompting her, nor just a desire to have an experience.

If she stays outside I will certainly allow her for pranam — at least once — to see how she is. Afterwards I shall be able to say if she is fit for yoga or not.

16 November 1937

*

Mother,

Here’s a picture of Lord Nuffield. You must have heard of him. Recently, the Archbishop of Canterbury spoke of our times as “this Nuffield Age”, for this man’s munificence has been simply breath-bereaving. Last year he gave £2,000,000 for medical research. The other day he offered the University of Oxford £1,000,000. Altogether his benefactions during his life amount to £10,000,000. Is it not possible for us to send him a packet of some of our books, beginning with “A Life-Sketch of Sri Aurobindo”, so that he may form some idea of the work, and the power and personality behind it? A letter stating our need of expansion can be added. Nothing may come of the whole venture — but why not try?

If you want to pick up the business you can try.

17 November 1937

*

Mother,

We were talking this afternoon about avoiding the secretaries and getting information reached directly to Lord Nuffield — and I forgot the most obvious solution of the problem. My brother H is in England and I am sure he will be happy to do something for you — it will be one more means of keeping his contact with you. H’s presence in England seems really providential. What do you think of my idea?

Very good.

I should like to send the letter as well as the books by air-mail. The books we spoke of are: The Life-Sketch of Sri Aurobindo, The Teaching and the Asram of Sri Aurobindo, Thoughts and Glimpses and The Riddle of This World. Has Sri Aurobindo any suggestion for some others? What about The Mother? There is a chapter in it on the right use of money — though I dare say it is not very complimentary to the present holders of money and may seem a little high-handed to the outsider.

No suggestion — “The Mother” seems premature.

18 November 1937

*

Mother,

The air-mail will be a little expensive: so if you like we’ll despatch the books by the ordinary post. What do you wish?

Yes, ordinary post is quite sufficient and safer too.

When I have drafted the letter for Lord Nuffield, I’ll send it to you for approval.

All right.

19 November 1937

*

Mother,

I dipped into The Teaching and the Asram of Sri Aurobindo and read:

“Everything in the Asram belongs to the Teacher; the sadhaks (those who practise under him) have no claim, right or voice in any matter. They remain or go according to his will. Whatever money he receives is his property and not that of a public body. It is not a trust or a fund, for there is no public institution…. All depends on the Teacher and ends with his life-time, unless there is another Teacher who can take his place.”

Won’t this prove rather tough meat for an Englishman? It was written in this downright way when that anti-Asram movement was in full career in Pondy, but to Lord Nuffield it may smack too much of dictatorship, and the dictatorships known to Europe are hardly of an appealing kind to an Englishman. The charity he is accustomed to is rather of a public nature. What do you advise about the book? Will the “Life-Sketch” in the other book counteract the impression likely to be given by it and make him a believer in the benevolence of the Teacher in question?

You need not send “The Teaching and the Asram”.

20 November 1937

*

Mother,

I have made a draft of the letter for Lord Nuffield, incorporating the information prepared for the Hyderabad people. As we are not sending the “Teaching and the Asram”, some sort of general information is necessary. Please go through the letter and make any modification you think is needed. I should like to know how the letter strikes you.

It is all right.

And will Sri Aurobindo let me know through you how exactly the conclusion should be? What does one say while signing one’s name to a letter addressed to a lord? Also, do you think the phrase “out of your splendid generosity” after the word “please” in the last sentence is quite right or does the sentence go better without it? (Amal’s two-page letter ends: “Will you please, out of your splendid generosity, give a helping hand to this work of Sri Aurobindo.”)

“please” could be omitted but the rest will do.

For the ending of the letter why should you not ask Arjava?[3]

22 November 1937

*

Mother,

I am feeling very wretched. Of course nobody guesses my condition, for I do not go begging for sympathy nor can I help joking and laughing when I am in company; but I find not a jot of usefulness left in me. Everything appears to me in the light of a cul-de-sac. I don’t know how long my nerves will stand the strain — and even if they stand it for ever, the feat can hardly be very enjoyable.

Your name was on my note book several times and each time I have been obliged to strike it off because of something urgent and unavoidable. Now I have written your name on the 7th and hope it will stay there …

3 January 1938

*

Mother,

I suppose you received the picture of Lord Nuffield I had sent you on Friday. You have written no reply giving me your impression of him.

I have received the photograph and keep it. Nothing to say about it for the moment.

10 January 1938

*

Mother,

The Ideal of Human Unity is out of print — perhaps luckily, since it was printed in a very shabby way in Madras. If you like, I’ll send to Lord Nuffield Ideal and Progress, The National Value of Art, Superman, Evolution, and whatever else I can find of general interest, besides War and Self-Determination. What do you say?

Yes — these books will do.

In your letter you have said, “If H could be introduced by someone who knows Nuffield well and would take some interest”. How much is H to tell this intermediary? Is it advisable to say that he wants Nuffield to give a substantial sum of money to the Asram? Or should he just talk about the yogic work of Sri Aurobindo and say that he would like to interest Nuffield in it. Perhaps it may not be nice to be specially secretive if somebody is good enough to be of assistance?

There is no necessity to be at all secretive about it to the intermediary.

17 January 1938

*

Mother,

I hear there is an epidemic of small-pox in Bombay. Should I get myself vaccinated before I go there?

It might be better.

15 February 1938

*

(After eleven years in the Ashram, Amal moved back to Bombay in February 1938. He remained there for sixteen years, from 1938 to 1954. The following two dozen letters were written during this period.)

Mother,

A friend wishes to collect money for you. He says he will be very much helped if you write to him a statement about approaching people for monetary help.

Amal,

I am not in the habit of writing for money to anybody. If people do not feel that it is for them a great opportunity and Grace to be able to give their money for the Divine’s cause, “tant pis pour eux!”[4] Money is needed for the work — money is bound to come; as for who will have the privilege of giving it, that remains to be seen …

Received all the nice things you sent.

Our love and blessings are with you.

29 April 1938

*

To Amal

With the blessings of 29th March — anniversary day of my first meeting with Sri Aurobindo.

29 March 1939

*

To Amal

With the blessings of 4th April, New Year’s day of the Ashram in remembrance of Sri Aurobindo’s arrival at Pondicherry. Open to the action of the “spiritual power of healing”.

4 April 1939

*

Mother,

I am puzzled. My heart is pulled towards you and I want to come back. But certain things are keeping me here and I feel that they will keep drawing me even if I return at present. What should I do? But please know that whether I come just now or not, I cannot ever break away from you. I pray to you not to abandon me.

My dear child, blessings of the day …

Just received your letter of the 21st; it came to me directly (without the written words) three days ago, probably when you were writing it, and my silent answer was categorical: remain there until the necessity of being here will become so imperative that all else will completely lose all value for you. My answer now is exactly the same. I want only to assure you that we are not abandoning you and that you will always have our help and protection.

24 April 1939

*

Mother,

People keep lamenting about their lot and feel that their troubles and their unhappy reactions would go if other people and things were changed. Do you share my doubt about this feeling?

Each one is the artisan of his own miseries.

My love and blessings always

4 July 1939

*

Amal,

I am sorry, but I cannot deal with your poetry

(1) because I have no time,

(2) because I am not qualified.

And you must not hope that Sri Aurobindo will see it, because he is not attending to any correspondence whatever.

With our love and blessings

16 July 1939

*

Amal,

Your room is kept free for you, so you may come at any time for a few days. But I must warn you about two things: (1) that since the war there are many restrictions here and you may not find life very comfortable, (2) that nobody will be able to look after your needs properly as it has to be done. So you might do well to bring someone with you to nurse you on the way and here if need be.

This young girl looks indeed very charming, but for the reasons mentioned above, it will not be at all possible to lodge her in the Ashram and it might be wiser for her to postpone her coming.

You can give my blessings to S.

Our love and blessings to you

23 September 1939

*

Mother,

I dabbled in stocks and shares a little, but came a cropper. The speculation I carried on for a while has burnt quite a hole in my pocket. I really wish I hadn’t. Are you dead against speculation?

Amal,

You ought to know that I do not approve at all of speculation — but what is done is done.

All I can say is that there is not much likelihood of the war coming to an end with the end of this year.

My love and blessings

17 December 1939

*

Mother,

Of late the idea has been occurring to me that I should make a book of some of my poems and have it printed in Bombay. But my own resources are extremely limited. I want to persuade my grandfather to help me with at least part of the money needed. I don’t know whether I will succeed in persuading him nor whether my book will sell. Will you and Sri Aurobindo bless my venture so that there may be no difficulty anywhere? I shall be happy to have a line in your writing.

That is all right.

Our love and blessings

2 April 1940

*

Mother,

These three days I have been having spells of extreme exhaustion. A little walking and I feel utterly fagged out. Why this should happen I don’t understand. I want to get strong — body and soul. The soul is, of course, feeling much healthier, but the body gets bouts of great weakness for no sufficient reason. I must get all right.

It seems to me that it would be better not to talk too much, as, after all, it is not quite essential …

P.S. I had thought I would chuck all medicines here. And I don’t like to take brandy but I have to take a little dose of it when I get that low feeling. Do you advise me to stop all this? Please let me know how best to get over my complaint.

It may not be wise to stop abruptly all the medicines you are accustomed to take. A little quiet concentration would do you more good than much rushing about.

My love and blessings

22 April 1940

*

Amal,

Do as you like. But as you ask my opinion I must say that it is silly.

31 May 1941

*

Mother,

So many problems have been facing me of late. I wonder how they will be solved happily.

To Amal

The only way to a true and lasting happiness is a complete and exclusive reliance on the Divine’s Grace.

With my love and blessings

19 October 1941

*

Mother,

Your letter of May last year, in reply to mine in which I explained what I thought of doing, runs: “Do as you like. But as you ask my opinion I must say that it is silly.” Is it silly because there is a feeling in me that circumstances are compulsive?

Another thing: why have you omitted those words which mean so much to me and which you have always ended with: “Love and blessings”?

My “it is silly” covered many sides of the question, including the most exterior one. What you suggest as the foolishness of believing that circumstances are compelling when they are not, is part of it.

It is purposely that I have omitted the words “love and blessings”, because I did not wish you to think that I am blessing your enterprise — I do not — just because I find it silly. So, do not be mistaken if I end by love and blessings. These words are for your soul of which you are not, just now, very conscious, and not for your exterior being.

18 June 1942

*

Mother,

I spent quite a lot of grey matter putting before you argument after argument. But you have not argued back. You are quite happily unconcerned.

Amal,

All the reasonings in your letter come from the external physical mind. You cannot expect me to come down to that level and discuss with you from there. I see things from another plane and in a different way.

19 July 1942

*

Mother,

It is hard for me to understand how X who has been so absorbed in Yoga for years, who has been considered by you to have the nature of the saints, could drift away from you and have a fall from the Yogic life.

Amal,

The mistake in your psychology is its excessive simplification. You look at one side and with exaggerated emphasis and ignore the rest. A person may have certain qualities but not to perfection, and there is in the subconscient the very contradiction of these qualities. If one does not take care to eliminate this contradiction, then at any moment under the pressure of circumstances what is in the subconscient may rise up with force and bring about a collapse, what is called a fall from the yoga.

I suppose that with the above indication you will understand.

With love and blessings

30 November 1943

*

Mother,

If a person who was declared by you to be “saintly” in nature could come away from a Yogic life of many years, I can’t help feeling quite sad and discouraged.

Amal,

I do not propose to write anything about the main subject of your letter. Only, as you write of discouragement, I may point out to you that nothing irreparable has happened. Of course, the further one wanders away from the path, the more radical will be the conversion needed to return to it; but the return is always possible.

With my love and blessings

22 December 1943

*

Mother,

You know that for many years I have been in the habit of leaving my physical body and making exploratory tours in my subtle body. (Here several experiences are described.) I wonder whether I should keep up my practice of going out of the body. It is extremely fascinating, but is it a necessary part of Yogic development for keeping the consciousness open to inner spiritual things?

Amal

I have received your letter with the enclosed money.

As to the experiences you speak of, it is much better to stop them altogether. They seem to take you into levels which are undesirable and most unsafe; they are not at all necessary for any opening in the yoga.

Love and blessings to you and the family

28 March 1944

*

Amal

Your letter with its enclosure reached in due time.

Certainly I have not given you up, not in the least. You are quite capable of the realisation if you make up your mind to it, and the experience you relate seems to me a valid promise that it will come.

With our love and blessings

19 May 1944

*

Amal,

Your letter of the 20th and its contents reached safely.

I have never written articles and I do not propose to begin now. All I can do is to send you my short remarks on the present world situation, part of which is in the prayer for the coming year. You will find them enclosed on a separate paper.

Your proposals for the title of the Annual are not very successful. Sri Aurobindo, who I consulted, suggests that you should do like the Pathmandir in Calcutta, that is to say, call it “Sri Aurobindo Circle – 1st Annual”.

Sri Aurobindo will see if he can send you some poems, but he can make no promise, for there may not be any which he wants to publish now.

With my love and blessings and my best wishes for a happy New Year

29 December 1944

*

Amal,

When you first asked the question about the bird painted by Krishnalal, I did not answer because along with your letter arrived the printed cover made from this very painting. It seemed to me that, the cover being printed, it closed matters and there was no need to worry about it any more. I did not inform you about it because I thought you were already informed about it. The defect you spoke of was there all right, but nothing could be done at that stage and after all in a symbolic painting it is of secondary importance.

But you can be sure that I never said “the design is quite perfect and beyond criticism”. This is a statement that can never be made of anything human.

With my love and blessings

P.S. The Rs. 25 sent on the 13th instant reached safely.

Love and blessings to all

22 April 1945

*

Amal,

Received all your letters and also the designs which I am sending back under separate cover.

I am sorry to have to tell you that your proposed corrections make the design much worse than it was before. The unhappy wing seems now grotesquely big and heavy, quite out of proportion with the rest of the bird. I am of the opinion that it is far wiser to let things stand as they are. After all Krishnalal’s design is not so bad as you seem to think, it has its charm and grace. So I have decided not to speak to Krishnalal about it, neither did I show him your sketch. The best would certainly be to drop the matter altogether and have the cover printed as it was originally designed. Hoping that you will not mind my frankness, I send you my love and blessings.

2 May 1945

*

My dear Amal,

I am in receipt of your letter with the enclosed money.

Of course in the text I sent you “their” has been omitted by mistake. But now I am sending you a new version which I prefer to the other. Here it is:

“For the Governments honesty lies not only in saying what they are doing but also in doing what they say.”

With my love and blessings to all

21 June 1945

*

Amal,

I showed your letter about the Annual to Sri Aurobindo who said jokingly, “Why not bring out in time a book without mistakes?”… Anyhow if one is to be sacrificed to the other, time is surely the side that must suffer!

With my love and blessings to all

22 July 1945

*

My dear Amal,

Your letter reached safely with its contents. I must have received also the previous one as well as the annual, but as it came just at the time of “darshan” and the crowd was bigger than it had ever been, I had no chance to answer and give my opinion although the impression was good. Sri Aurobindo also, who kept a copy with him, seems to have been satisfied. I suppose you have been told that we are opening a Press in Pondicherry — the Ashram Press. It is Pillai who was at the head of the Government Press of Hyderabad who is organising it. It means that the work will be first class and we intend to do the printing of all books and magazines concerned with Sri Aurobindo’s works as well as his books and mine.

As for your eyes we fully approve of your trying the Dr. Bates’s method[5] which have proved quite successful in many cases.

With my love and blessings for yourself and your family.

Will you kindly tell to M that I have received her letters about your mother’s health. Hoping that she is getting better now.

18 September 1945

*

Mother,

I was rather depressed on hearing of Chandulal’s death after an operation. He was one of your workers with an exceptional ability. How is it that he passed away although under your influence and guidance?

My dear Amal,

About Chandulal’s departure, the operation was quite successful, done by a very skilful surgeon, but his heart was weak beyond expectation and he died of heart failure five days after the operation. It has been a sad event and a big loss for the work. But for some time he suffered much and felt tired of it. He had several times expressed the wish to change his body for a better one. It is surely this wish that is responsible for what happened.

I open your letter of the 17th instant and find in it Rs. 18 (eighteen) and not 88 as you announced in your letter. What has happened? I hope it has not been stolen on the way. Of course it is not quite safe to send money in an ordinary registered letter; but until now all sums reached intact.

With my best wishes and my love and blessings for you and the others

22 November 1945

*

Mother darling,

It is very kind of you to send me a telegram of love and blessings for my birthday. The usual Money Order left yesterday. We are very happy to offer the sum.

Mama’s pain went soon after I had dispatched the wire to you. An X-ray photo was taken and the result shows that though there is evidence of some consolidation and callus formation; there is also evidence of slight absorption of the bone at the fracture. We all shall be very thankful if you will make the callus strong and hard and prevent absorption. We are extremely grateful for all the kindness you have shown and the help you have given.

I have been puzzled by the utter lack of reply from you to so many letters of mine. You did not even let me know anything when I wrote about SD. Eventually he could not leave Bombay because he had been empanelled on a jury and his application for being exempted was not granted. But you gave no answer at all. I am sure you must be having some reason for no answer here as well as for taking no notice of my two or three other letters. Have I asked you something which you did not like and which annoyed you?

No other reason than an absolute lack of time has prevented me from answering you in writing. But I have noted all the points and did my best to give you satisfaction. As yet I do not know when I shall be able to answer at leisure; this is why I scribble these few words on your own letter to assure you that I am not forgetting you nor your mother and M and that my love and blessings are with you all. A wire has been sent to you yesterday for the “darshan”. The M.O. has reached today. Hoping that your mother will recover soon.

Blessings

19 November 1946

*

Mother,

I am still not through with this second spell of heart trouble. The first was in June 1938, owing to a gigantic overdose of a stimulant tonic powder. This time it is a strain of the heart muscle. The doctors have advised complete rest in a supine position. Not even the head is to be lifted. They also warn me that if I don’t take extreme care I may develop more serious trouble.

But I feel full of your presence and do what my suddenly and abundantly released poetic inspiration leads me to do. I sit up frequently, get excited with the passage of the poems through me and my heart starts beating fast at that time, and if the doctors could then put their stethoscopes to my chest they would begin to shake their heads at the prospect of a quick cure. But I am unconcerned. I trust implicitly in your power and feel like laughing away the black future with which they threaten me in case of carelessness about my heart. I feel certain, Mother dearest, that the Divine Power can help — can’t it?

My dear child,

I quite agree with you that there is a power other and much more powerful than that of the doctors and the medicines and I am glad to see that you put your trust in it. Surely it will lead you throughout all difficulties and in spite of all catastrophic warnings. Keep your faith intact and all will be all right.

28 May 1948

*

Mother,

I want to ask you a question concerned with my reaction to the inconsideration and vulgarity in Y’s letter about Sri Aurobindo. I remember an occasion many years ago when a lady friend of mine spoke unbecomingly of you. I verbally choked her off at once, but the indignation within me went on burning. It was like a sword of fire leaping out of my chest, striking and striking through the hours. My mind could serve only to direct it accurately; it had itself little part in the actual violence. The next day the lady had a terrific attack of diarrhea.

A similar blaze began to go out of my chest yesterday on reading Y’s letter. I had no scruple in directing it at his journal as if to consume its future to ashes. But although I also struck out at Y himself as if to destroy him, I did not encourage the fiery onslaught. I started wondering if it was right to attack a person like that.

I shall be thankful if I can have some words of guidance from you. Please keep in mind that I am not talking about a mere outburst of anger: some force appears to me there which wants to destroy and feels it has the power to destroy. Of course I would never think of using it for my private ends.

It is evidently the working of the Kali force that is lit and is directing this fire in you. There is nothing wrong in its action; it is not an anger personal to you but the wrath of a divine power and it must be allowed to act; in fact, I think you could not stop it from burning in you even if you wanted to stop it. This man has drawn it upon himself and there is nothing wrong in what is happening; he alone is responsible. Of course, it must not be used for any personal aim or in any self-regarding way.

8 October 1950

*

(In February 1954, after sixteen years in Bombay, Amal returned to Pondicherry. He lived in the Ashram for the remaining fifty-seven years of his life. Many of his letters to the Mother during this period deal with his work as editor of the monthly journal Mother India.)

Amal,

I find Usha a very good and receptive girl and do not approve at all of her going or rather of taking her away against her own will; as for her mother I do not want her here, it would be useless.

My blessings

You can show this note to Dahyalal.

December 1954

*

Mother,

Dahyalal asks me to give him the original of your letter to me about Usha. Do you think it will serve better the cause of truth if he has this with him? Or would you prefer that only a copy should go?

If you have not shown the original, you can show it, but it is better to give only a copy.

Blessings

20 December 1954

*

Mother,

Happiest New Year to you!

If you don’t have other plans, will you let me publish in this month’s Mother India all that you read and spoke last evening? Part of it, of course, will have to be translated.

Before anything can be decided on the subject I must first see the complete report (taken by the recorder) of what I have said. I am asking for it.

1 January 1955

*

Mother,

I feel that, in this year of fundamental challenges and difficulties, the first three months are my months of destiny. If the basic psychological defects of my nature are faced and fought now, a crucial and essentially permanent victory will be won with great rapidity. Am I right about the immense importance for me of January, February, March?

Keep your conviction and add to it the faith that only victory is certain — and everything will be all right.

I feel also that some small beginning of the victory has been made, after several attempts and failures. Is this true?

Yes.

I pray constantly for your help and grace. Without it I am helpless. Please give me all the support and assistance you can. I am dead serious in this matter and would like, once for all, to make a decisive turn and belong entirely to you and live only for your love and light. A few words from you will be greatly appreciated. I want to feel that even in your most outward aspect you are directly with me in my effort.

Surely my help is with you in all ways.

It is very interesting that these first three months should come as months of destiny for me. For I well remember the talk you and I had when, two years ago, in the February of 1953 I announced to you that the call had come to me from above the head to give myself at last to the life here. I said: “So many things in me must be cleared out. Although you have waited for 26 years (that is, since I first came here in 1927) for me to make a final resolve, I don’t want to wait for even 26 hours.” Then you replied: “Things can’t be cleared immediately. You must give me, say, at least, 26 months.” In the coming April, it will be exactly 26 months! Will the hoped-for Wonder come to pass?

VERY GOOD.

My blessings and love

19 January 1955

*

Mother,

MP has sent me the following letter:

Dear Sir,

I shall be thankful if you will get clarification from the Mother on the following three points:

1. On the subtle-physical plane, was there any creation before or is a new one being created by Sri Aurobindo and the Mother with new types of beings or for the souls that are developed and transformed on earth?

2. Sri Aurobindo had promised that he would manifest in a first supramental body built in a supra-mental way. Will this happen in 1967 or before?

3. It has been said in the Bulletin, April 1963, pp. 49-51, that both the bodies will be there at the same time and that we need not abandon totally this form in order to enter into another. Does this mean that the same person will have two bodies — the present one with gradual progression and the other by a direct occult means and both will be present at the same time?

These questions are just a demonstration of how the mind makes a mess of everything. It is impossible to answer.

1 February 1955

*

Mother,

Kishor has given me — with your sanction — the following two letters of yours on women for publication in Mother India. I would certainly like to publish them. Will you please tell me what is to be done about two or three points to which I have drawn attention in the margin?

Of course, essentially and originally the Mother remains the Mother, but in the exterior world where all is mixed up there is scarcely one man that does not contain feminine elements and not one woman that does not contain masculine elements, which at once takes away all possibility of superiority of one sex over the other.[6] (1 January 1949)

*

There have been many outstanding feminine figures in spiritual life. But on one side[7] women are more interested in action than in meditation[8] and intellectual expression. That is why very few women have recorded their spiritual experiences and thus they have remained unknown. (2 October 1950)

What general title should be given to the two letters?

No title.

(After attending to Amal’s marginal notes, the Mother wrote at the bottom of the page:)

Better drop the whole thing, there is no necessity to publish it.

May 1955

*

Mother,

There seems to be something wrong in the way I asked you about certain words or phrases in those two passages of yours about women. It can’t be that the very act of asking such questions is wrong: surely you don’t mind being told about some oversight or slip. My approach, my attitude must be at fault: otherwise your response would not be what it was. Did I strike you as unsympathetic, insensitive, “cocky”? I should like very much to correct myself. I feel bad about being the cause of or even the “excuse” for your withdrawing what you had already sanctioned for publication.

Nothing of the kind — myself I did not like very much these two sentences. They give me the impression of a rather flat expression of what I wanted to say. I remember very well that I had found the questions to which I was answering boring and it explains the dullness of the answers.[9] I was truly glad of the occasion of withdrawing them from publication.

Blessings

22 May 1955

*

Mother,

I beg of you to grant me a short interview in the room at the Playground: ten minutes or so. I feel so troubled. Something in the physical mind often blocks me up terribly, though the higher intellect and the inner being are unshaken. A little talk with you and your close presence will dissolve the miserable disturbance.

You looked so miserable yesterday that I have arranged to see you tomorrow, Wednesday at 5.30 (Playground). But now you must smile.

Blessings

27 June 1955

*

Amal

As the time is come for settling the affairs, I am sending you this word to remind you that you owe something like Rs. 25,000 to S and that I expect you not to forget it when making the accounts.

I hope you are feeling my presence helping you to be firm and to do the right thing in the right way.

With my love and blessings

19 May 1957

*

Mother,

Surely the Mother knows that a certain person is of a type that would rebel or vegetate and, in either case, go away from the Ashram. Knowing this, why does she allow such a person to stay in the Ashram for several years? Why does she not tell him that his stay would be useless or that he can leave at any time he pleases?

Because to each one is given his full chance, and there can always be an unexpected opening and a conversion.

24 June 1958

*

Amal

Long ago I had warned you that this silly story would become ugly. I am sorry you took no notice of what I said. Now it must come to an end.

17 September 1959

*

Mother,

TL had the following experience which seems worth recounting to you for an explanation. She writes, in effect:

“I left Pondi in very good condition, except for a little pain in the tail bone. But, while getting into the train for Bombay from Madras, all of a sudden I felt unbearable pain and could not move my limbs because of it. I took some drugs during the journey, but to no avail. Day and night I suffered. When half a day’s journey was left over, in the early morning I was holding Mother’s blessings packet and Sri Aurobindo’s photo and trying to concentrate on Mother.

“Then, with my eyes wide open, I saw a strange thing. A thin, small black man in red shorts, with nothing else on, entered the compartment from the door behind me. His hair looked dirty and disheveled. He was going from one door to the other. He turned towards me and laughed. Another man followed him, tall, black, in long straight dhoti. He just passed by me and also went out of the compartment. Of course, the train was going at full speed.

“Then I saw a plate before me, on which was some food. Just a teaspoonful had been already eaten by somebody. I heard a voice: ‘Eat this. Mother has sent this for you after tasting it.’ I looked at my watch. It was Balcony time. I knew in my heart that the pain would diminish, and it did. When I got down at Bombay I was almost normal.

“What do you think of it? Should you inform Mother?”

One small physico-vital force of mischief and some vital entity, both responsible for the pain. The dish is the symbol of my help which would bring cure if it were received properly.

22 January 1960

*

Mother,

G showed me the letter you had written to her a few days back. I remarked to her that the concluding part was of very general application and that it was too beautiful to be left in the dark. She fully agreed. So if you approve, may I use it for the Mother India of October? There is a second text here too for your consideration.

WORDS OF THE MOTHER

Never forget that, as much outside as in the Ashram, if you want to lead a happy life, you must be the master of your lower nature and control your desires and vital impulses; otherwise there is no end to the miseries and the troubles. (20 September 1960)

*

That knee of yours is still troubling you? But you must keep in touch with athletics. Otherwise you will become incapable. Do you want to go about with a stick and, in your old age, get all weak and tottering? Learn from X’s example. Look at what he is doing even at his age!

The trouble is not the mere fact of the knee being bad. You have to put your full consciousness there and be obstinate at it. It is by constantly putting your consciousness, day after day, month after month, and by doing exercise, that you can cure the knee. Truly you have to be very obstinate and do consciously the movements which do not allow the dislocation to recur. Of course, you can’t go on thinking of the knee all the time. You have to do so many things together. But it is not necessary to go on thinking. You have just to fix the consciousness at the place and it will take care automatically to ward off the forces of accident. This is the only way, and it is by persistently pursuing it that people have cured themselves.[10] (24 August 1960)

24 September 1960

*

Mother,

May I use the text below — or at least a part of it — for the next Mother India?

WORDS OF THE MOTHER

A practical problem comes up more and more often: should one who is preparing to do Yoga and has made it a general rule to offer You everything and depend entirely on You, accept gifts, in money or kind, coming from others? Because if he accepts, he is put under personal obligations and duties. Can a sadhak allow this? Can he say to himself: “The Divine has many ways of giving”?

What is to be done if a person begins to quarrel because one has accepted a gift in one case and refused in another? What is to be done to avoid such bitterness around one, provoked by repeated refusals?

“The Divine has many ways of giving.”

This is the correct thing. One never has any obligation to anybody, one has an obligation only to the Divine and there totally. When a gift is made without conditions one can always take it as coming from the Divine and leave it to the Divine to take care of what is needed in exchange or response.

As for ill-will, jealousy, quarrels and reproaches, one must sincerely be above all that and reply with a benevolent smile to the bitterest words; and unless one is absolutely sure of himself and his reactions, it would be better, as a general rule, to keep silent.[11]

6 October 1960

*

(Written on Amal’s birthday)

To come closer to the Truth, you must often accept not to understand.

25 November 1961

*

Amal, do you want this for Mother India?

It pleases Him to be like that, He is like that.

And the secret is simply to be in the “it pleases Him”.

Not only to be in what is objective, but also to be in He who objectivises. That is all.[12]

c. July 1962

*

Dearest Mother,

Will you please approve this for Mother India, March 1963?

THE ALL-INDIA LANGUAGE QUESTION

The Mother’s Views

The only immediate solution is that each province should keep its own language as official language of the State and that for Central Administration the existing common language of English should continue for the moment.

A Gist of Sri Aurobindo’s Views

(from Nirodbaran)

If India is to be an international State, English has its place and is even a necessity. There English alone can be the medium of expression, especially now that it is replacing French as a world-language.

But as it is a foreign tongue the nationalist sentiment will be against its being the common language of the country. As to Hindi becoming the common language, Hindi cannot replace English in the universities, nor can it substitute the provincial language.

When the national spirit grows, it is difficult to say what will happen. In Ireland, after the revolution, they wanted to abolish English and adopt Gaelic; but as time went on and things settled themselves their enthusiasm waned and English came back.

It is all right.

c. February 1963

*

Dearest Mother,

S wants me to tell you about a matter which has been troubling him very much. During his visit last February, his brother got their mother to make a Will. Now that she is dead, it is found that all the money and property have been given to the brother and S gets only Rs. 501. This is a gross injustice and he is wondering how to remedy it. It is hurting him extremely. He needs your help and inspiration.

You can say to S, on my behalf, that he must look at this apparently unhappy circumstance as a proof that the Lord considers that he is ready for spiritual life and he must no more be attached to any exterior or material thing.

If he takes things in that way, he will soon feel that all sorrow is gone away from him.

With my blessings

28 August 1963

*

Dearest Mother,

I have transmitted to S your wonderful message. I am sure it will set everything right with him.

In reply to a previous letter of mine, he has sent some details. Although I had been told by his brother that he gets only Rs. 501, there are a number of shares which stand in the joint name of S’s mamma and S himself, and they are with S at present. Here the right of survivorship is on his side. It seems that S’s brother doesn’t know about these shares. I don’t suppose that what you have written should make S give away even half of the shares and take only Rs. 501. If he can exercise his right of survivorship in regard to these shares, may he do it?

YES.

What I meant was not to worry about it. Let him take what comes to him without getting upset or sorry, excited or nervous.

With my blessings

31 August 1963

*

Dearest Mother,

The following “Words” of yours will go very well as an accompaniment to those on modern art which I am using for the September issue of Mother India. Do you approve of their publication? (Amal sent both the French original and his English translation. Below only the English is given.)

Why do you want to do the details? They are not at all necessary. Painting is not done in order to copy Nature, but to express an impression, a feeling, an emotion that we experience on seeing the beauty of Nature. It is this that is interesting and it is this that has to be expressed, and it is because you have the possibility of doing this that I encourage you to paint.

It is all right but — excuse me — I find your English somewhat “heavy”.

8 September 1963

*

Mother dearest,

May I use this in Mother India? It is based on what you told S apropos of my kidney stone and our house problem. Of course you may edit the report as you like.

WORDS OF THE MOTHER

Even when doctors say something is impossible, it is still possible. Science has gone very high, but about one thing it will say, “It is possible” and about another, “It can’t be done”! So there is a division, a contradiction in Science. Actually, you cannot say “No” about anything. Every time the impossible can become the possible. If people, when doctors say “Impossible”, turn to the Divine about it, the Divine can achieve the impossibility.

The Supreme has every power: there are no limits for Him. And when people will realise that they do not know anything they will realise that to the Supreme’s Will all things are possible. In the Supreme, there is a whole universe waiting and ready to make impossibilities actual. Even what is most inconceivable to us now can happen. For, everything is already there, hidden. So, when human beings come to feel they are quite ignorant, at that very moment the impossible will start happening. At present, people think they know everything. Oh, they are so very clever!

This redaction lacks in power and I can’t agree to have it published — and no time to write it myself.

Sorry.

9 September 1963

*

Mother dearest,

Since you have not approved, I shall not publish the “Words of the Mother” which I had sent you. But there is one thing on which I should like to have your decision. Would you consent to my publishing this very significant matter, not as direct “Words of the Mother”, but as:

POSSIBLE AND IMPOSSIBLE

(Based on Some Words of the Mother)

I say yes but without enthusiasm.

22 September 1963

*

PRAYER FOR PERFECTION

Out of our darkness lead us into light —.

Out of false love to Thy truth-piercing height —

Out of the clutch of death to immortal space —

O Perfect One with the all-forgiving face!

From Thy pure luster build the mind anew —

From Thy unshadowed bliss draw the heart’s hue —

From Thy immense bring forth a godlike clay —

O Timeless One self-sought through night and day!

Dearest Mother,

May I hope that one day you will answer this prayer of mine, which begins with a reminiscence of the soul’s cry in the past and goes on to our own aspiration?

One day is sure to come …

Blessings

30 December 1963

*

Dearest Mother,

I assure you that your name will not at all be implicated if C contacts T [an American devotee]. But if there is the slightest wish in you that T should be left alone by me, please say so.

Not necessarily, but I do not want my name to be pronounced so that he can feel free to refuse if he finds it necessary.

But, in any case, whether T is contacted or not, I pray for your blessings on the venture to find a publisher in America.

What I would like to be done, more than anything else, is the issuing of an American edition of Sri Aurobindo’s Ilion. I believe it is the one poem of his which should make an immediate impact on the Western literary world and establish him as a great poet. It has no directly Indian or spiritual message, although all of it is steeped in profound inner sight, and it deals with a theme which has haunted the Western imagination for over 2500 years. So its abundant poetic originality, both of expression and technique, should make a mark. If T or somebody could bring it out as an American publication, it would stand a very good chance of catching the public eye. What do you say, Mother?

When a Mother sees her child take very seriously his childish play, she will not tell him, “what a baby you are” but smile and encourage him in his game…

With love and blessings

25 March 1964

*

Dearest Mother,

You must have read the copy I sent you of my letter to C. The letter gives my mind’s movement in consideration of past friendship: it clearly blames him [for hurting S’s wrist in a state of anger] without depriving him of a chance to make up. But have I acted rightly in wanting to be re-constructive instead of condemnatory or retributive? A private word from you to me will help me much and will be much appreciated.

It is most likely that C will express regret for the damage done — but you must be patient. Do not worry.

Blessings

10 September 1964

*

Dearest Mother,

The Trustees and the solicitor managing grandpa’s estate in Bombay want me to go there — as I am also a Trustee — and settle the matter of dissolving the Trusteeship and making all of us direct owners of our shares in the big building, of which we are co-owners with the sons of grandpa’s nephew. I feel I need your help very much. Grandpa’s nephew, himself a solicitor, and his sons are tough nuts to crack and we should not in any way play into their hands. The sooner I go the better. Will you give me your blessing (as well as protection) before I go? (Of course, if you don’t wish me to go, I shan’t).

I suppose you have to go and I am quite ready to help you — “mais je ne suis pas si sûre que ces gens ne vous rouleront pas!”[13]

Blessings

4 October 1964

*

Dearest Mother,

S is again unwell. The effects of her last dengue fever are recurring — bone-breaking pain, severe headache, temperature not high but subnormal. Please send her your force to make her well.

I have just realised that we are in November. This means November 24, the great day of your Darshan, is pretty close. It also means that November 25, the day on which the earth had the doubtful luck of having my first Darshan, is not very far away.

On the 25th morning I am busy — but I must see you that day even if the vision is as short as lightning!

The enclosed packet is to bring health to S.

With love

6 November 1964

*

Dearest Mother,

We want Mother India to be moulded more and more according to your light and guidance. Hari has a lot of ideas for making it reach out far and wide with Sri Aurobindo’s vision, without, of course, losing the proper quality. He feels — and I agree — that if the various ideas that come to us off and on can be directly put before you and get adjudged by you straight away, we can make considerable progress. That is why an opportunity, whenever convenient to you, to have matters quickly settled in a short personal meeting seems very desirable. On the managerial side, new ways open up quite often. If you can let Hari consult you personally at certain intervals, we shall be thankful. I can also come in, if you permit, when editorial issues arise.

Already we are trying hard to make Mother India a success in the true sense that serves your cause and Sri Aurobindo’s. We feel we can do much more with a little extra push of Grace from you. We should like this push to include even an order from you for anything you think we should do.

I understand and shall try to call you with Hari, at least once a month for the work at Mother India.

End 1964

*

(One of Amal’s co-workers suggested that Mother India readers should be asked their opinions and expectations of the journal in order to increase its popularity and make it more successful. Informed by Amal of this suggestion, the Mother commented:)

Let us become as vulgar as we can and success is sure to come.

16 January 1965

*

(Amal asked the Mother what changes might be made in Mother India without falling below her standard. She replied:)

I have no superficial views on the subject — and what I could say would not fit the “new spirit” of the journal. Keep me out of all this, it is better.

17 January 1965

*

(Regarding her comment of 16 January 1965 on success and vulgarity, the Mother clarified:)

All that is done with the purpose of pleasing the public and obtaining success is vulgar and leads to falsehood. I enclose a deeper view of the subject.

Blessings

(The “deeper view” sent to Amal may have been the following statement of the Mother:)

You say you want to get rid of falsehood, here is a way.

Do not try to please yourself, do not try either to please others. Try to please only the Lord. Every one of us, human beings, is a coat of falsehood put on the Lord and hiding Him. He alone is true; He is the Truth.

It is on Him that we must count and not on the coats of falsehood. (27 January 1963)

18 January 1965

*

(Regarding an attack on the Ashram on the night of 11 February 1965, ostensibly as part of an anti-Hindi agitation; several Ashram properties were looted or burned.)

Dearest Mother,

On inquiry, I had learnt from Nolini last week that you had approved of the idea of enclosing, with copies of the Ashram journals, copies of your Declaration and of Udar’s statement. So we have had these things printed for us and they were intended to be sent along with the copies of Mother India of February. We have mentioned them as a Special Supplement in our Contents.

This is CANCELLED.

Just now we have heard from Counouma that you have decided against enclosing Udar’s statement. Does that include your Declaration? Cannot the Declaration by itself go?

NO. I have another plan.

2 March 1965

*

Dearest Mother,

We shall certainly omit your Declaration and Udar’s statement. But as we have already mentioned both of them in our Contents as a “Special Supplement”, we have to put a small slip into the magazine about the omission. We have framed the following:

TO THE READER

The Special Supplement mentioned in the Contents has not been inserted for certain reasons.

Impossible.

S told me that you said to her, “Amal can print in Mother India the last part of the Declaration, beginning with ‘Our position is clear’.” So, along with the message on Protection, may I take this also for the March issue?

I keep that for the Bulletin.

Are there any other “Words” you can spare for me?

If the February issue is not yet sent you must put the supplement announced, but adding in a footnote to Udar’s writing the enclosed note.

Blessings

(The “enclosed note”, whose authorship is unknown, reads:) The report about the attack on the Ashram on the night of the 11th February did not arise from any sense of retaliation or from fear or justification or self-commiseration, neither for favour or offence; it arose from an inner compulsion to give the simple truth. This is its basis.

3 March 1965

*

Dearest Mother,

I am on the point of giving up hope of receiving from you “Words” for Mother India. Won’t you save the situation by a thrilling last-minute intervention of Grace?

Why do you want me to say something?

In silence is the greatest power.

11 March 1965

*

Dearest Mother,

Thanks for your little message to me. Could I have a block made of it and use it along with my own silly question?

Yes.

12 March 1965

*

Dearest Mother,

A prize of £3,000 in all has been announced in England for the best book of any kind submitted before March 31. I am sending by air-mail book post to the promoters the typescript of my newly written book on Shakespeare’s Sonnets. Quoting words from the Sonnets themselves I’ve called the book: “Two Loves” and “A Worthier Pen”: The Enigmas of Shakespeare’s Sonnets.

May I have your blessings?

Blessings

13 March 1965

*

Mother,

Do you think we may use one of these two pictures by D in Mother India? But which of the two? Both are meant to illustrate the phrase from Savitri: “A mighty guidance leads through all.”

Why do you ask me? I find these pictures very poor but I do not want to interfere in your taste.

30 April 1965

*

Dearest Mother,

May I publish these three pieces in the June Mother India? The second piece has already been approved for publication by you.

WORDS OF THE MOTHER

The Lord is always victorious in His way — not in the human way — according to His will, not according to the will of men.

The Lord is always present, only we do not realise it.

*

When somebody lives in a higher Consciousness, the vibrations of this higher Consciousness are manifested in whatever this person does, says or thinks. These higher vibrations are manifested by the very fact of the presence of this person upon earth.

*

It is not what one sees or hears that one loves. It is the Love that one loves through the forms and sounds — and the most perfect love, the most lovable love, it is the Lord’s love.

All right.

4 June 1965

*

Dearest Mother,

I hope you have seen the letter I sent three days back. I had asked if I could print in the August Mother India your message on J. And, finally, I had reminded you that I had no “Words” yet for the August issue. Block-making will take some time, you know.

I said NO. It is quite a private message and not meant for publication — and I have NO Words to send you.

3 August 1965

*

(Amal sent to Nolini a copy of his article “The Indo-Pak Conflict in the Spiritual Light”, along with the following cover letter:)

Nolini, this is an article incorporating the letter which you read out to Mother and which she okayed. The introductory and the concluding parts are new. Will you please see them and let me know if they are all right. I have marked them red in the margin. Kindly let me know the verdict soon.

(Nolini showed Amal’s article and his cover letter to the Mother. She crossed out the entire article with an X and wrote a big “NO” beneath it. At the bottom of the cover letter, she wrote:)

NO POLITICS in any of our publications.

15 November 1965

*

Dearest Mother,

Indra Sen has suggested that we bring out a special issue of Mother India dealing with “The Integral Culture of Man”. He writes: “This is a supreme idea of Sri Aurobindo propounded long ago and visibly becoming dynamic today and needing deeper and larger clarifications and strengthening. We can do it by presenting our vision and the visible cultural influences and trends moving in the same direction. These trends are present in various fields of culture — in socio-political life, business, industry, arts and literature.”

Shall we try to carry out, when we can, the suggestion of Indra Sen? It seems a fruitful one.

All right.

Blessings

3 March 1966

*

Dearest Mother,

The “Words of the Mother” you have permitted me to use for the March Mother India are:

Ça ne fait rien! Les difficulties sont là pour le plaisir de les surmonter.

Va de l’avant, garde confiance et tout ira bien.

Is the following English translation all right?

That does not matter! The difficulties are there for the pleasure of surmounting them.

Go forward, keep confidence and all will be well.

All right.

Now about those pictures of D. I believe he hopes that if any is approved I may use it for Mother India. Even otherwise he would like to know whether any is really good. I am told you kept quite silent about this. It’s the second time you have done so. Rather a choking affair for poor D. I am sure he would welcome even a damning judgment, for then he would know he has to improve. So will you please say something?

I kept silent because he is copying Janina without having either her inspiration or her talent. Why are you forcing me to speak?

15 March 1966

*

(Amal sent to the Mother two proposals for a special issue of Mother India on the theme “The Integral Culture of Man”. She replied:)

If in man the seed of aspiration is watered with true spirituality then he will grow into divinity.

March 1966

*

Dearest Mother,

You know that I prefer even downright condemnation to suspenseful silence. If one is wrong, one must know it from you. Will you be kind enough to tell me exactly what you think of the proposals I conveyed to you on Saturday [for a special issue of Mother India] after a talk between Hari and me? Please don’t tell us, “Do what you like.”

Thanks for your message.

I thought my message was a sufficient answer. For me “culture” (read in French) means “arroser des plantes”[14]…

21 March 1966

*

Dearest Mother,

Your message does make it clear that “culture” means “true spirituality”, resulting in growth into “Divinity”. But I still do not know how it works for either “Yes” or “No” to the proposals Hari and I made for your consideration. One proposal was to invite Indra Sen to be Guest Associate Editor for this special issue whose idea was originally given by him. Another was to form an Advisory Committee of about 12 persons, with scope for expansion if necessary.

All right, but what about Nolini?

A third proposal was to invite some prominent “cultured” people in India and elsewhere to contribute short articles in conformity with our general idea.

NO.

Blessings

22 March 1966

*

Dearest Mother,

Who can forget Nolini where “Integral Culture” is concerned? We had him in mind from the start. The only reason why he was not mentioned in the list was that we felt sure he would be too busy to attend Committee meetings. (Perhaps like myself he hasn’t much taste for them too.)

I was expecting from you the question you have put. We are glad you have brought Nolini in. He will now stand at the head of our list. Busy or not, Committee-minded or not, he will now have to give us the advantage of his presence!

Nolini will attend only if he wants and can.

23 March 1966

*

Dearest Mother,

I thank you for the Message sent for Mother India. Please see if my English translation will pass. I am giving the French also.

Qu’est ce que c’est la Conscience?

Quand le Seigneur prend conscience de Lui-même, ça crée le monde. La conscience est le souffle qui fait vivre tout.

What is Consciousness?

When the Lord has consciousness of Himself, it creates the world. Consciousness is the breath that makes everything live.

(In Amal’s translation the Mother changed the phrase “When the Lord has consciousness of Himself” to “When the Lord is conscious of Himself” and commented:)

It is purposely that I have put it as simply as possible.

1 July 1966

*

Dearest Mother,

The following is going round the Ashram as emanating from you. If it is authentic, may I publish it in Mother India?

“4th May 1967 (4-5-67): the Supramental will start working on earth, but the working may start even a little earlier.

“I observe this day as the Supramental Manifestation day thus: this is the day of India’s New Year, Earth’s New Year and the whole Universe’s New Year and all these three strangely coincide, which may change the face of the whole Universe.”

It is all fancy!

10 May 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

CH has written again. Two letters to you from his friend Miss NB (who had met you on her last visit here some months back) have gone unnoticed — to all appearance at least.

How unnoticed? She got cured! Man of small faith!

31 May 1967

*

(Regarding the Six-Day War between Israel and Egypt)

Dearest Mother,

Not at all with an eye to publication but for my own knowledge, may I ask you two questions:

(1) The quick conclusion of the war in the Middle East and the avoidance thereby of the serious world-situation which was all the time threatening to develop — could one regard this as the first instance this year of the Supramental Power’s decisive action upon the minds of men and the course of events?

Do you believe that what you think about it has the slightest importance?

(2) One of the world-problems has been whether the existence of Israel would be firmly established or not. The Arab countries had sworn to exterminate Israel from Palestine. Now the Israel victory will call for a final acceptance of her existence by all and the assurance of a life-line for her in the Gulf of Aqaba. Could one regard this turn of events as the Divine’s grace to her — of course for non-political reasons?

Israël as a nation has the same right to exist as all the other nations.

11 June 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

I am very grateful for your clarifying answers. If you approve I can publish both of your statements typed below. Also there is one sentence of yours in the preceding letter. Do you think it could be used to begin the series? It ran: “Israel as a nation has the same right to exist as all the other nations.”

Yes.

I have corrected the typed sheet you sent me to make the sentence more clear. Note carefully the correction.[15]

THE NATIONS AND THE WORKING OF THE DIVINE TRUTH AND GRACE

Some Answers by the Mother

How can you believe that the Grace works for one nation or against another? The Grace works for Truth and in the present condition of the world, Truth and falsehood are both present everywhere, in all nations. It is the human mind which thinks, this one is right and that one is wrong — right and wrong are present everywhere.

The Truth is above all conflicts and all oppositions. (13 June 1967)

May I have a clarification from you on two points?

(1) Does not the Grace work for whatever Truth there may be on both sides of a conflict?

Yes.

Or does it keep altogether aloof just because either side has falsehood also?

No — I said work — it is constantly working.

(2) Do present conflicts differ radically from a conflict like World War II, in which the Grace worked definitely and decisively on one side — at least on the whole?

You are mixing up two things, the working of the Grace and the result which is the inevitable consequence of the triumph of the Truth: they are quite different things on a quite different level.

The progressive victory of the Truth brings automatically certain results complex and often unexpected by the human mind which always wants clean cuts. It is only a total vision both in time and space that can understand. (14 June 1967)

15 June 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

Thanks for taking so much trouble over those letters. I have carefully retyped the corrected parts. Now, could I put a dash after the whole bunch of these letters and add what you have written to Prithwi Singh? One line of it repeats practically one sentence in that bunch, but the other lines bring in new implications and seem to me to round off very well your replies to me. Do you approve?

Yes.

Here is what you wrote to Prithwi Singh:

Those who serve the Truth cannot take one side or another.

Truth is above conflict and opposition.

In Truth, all countries unite in a common effort towards progress and realisation. (8 June 1967)

Blessings

16 June 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

People who have read the recent letter written by you to Vishwa (Dr. Ponnou) tell me that it is a very enlightening one. It is about the religious consciousness of the Jews and the Arabs. I am told that there is nothing political in it nor anything personal to Vishwa. If you consider it publishable, will you kindly permit me to approach Vishwa to give me either a copy of it or let me have a photostat taken for the Mother India of July? I shall be thankful to have the chance to publish it, following up what has appeared from you in the June issue.

I have not written, I have only spoken, and it has been written down by others who were there. As the notes were a little dry, I have given them to Satprem with explanations, to complete them. I cannot dispose of them as they are.

26 June 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

In a letter of Sri Aurobindo’s — not written but dictated — we read:

“When we try to concentrate, this stream of self-made mechanical thinking becomes prominent to our observation. It is first normal obstacle (the other is sleep during meditation) to the effort for Yoga.”

In the second sentence, “the” appears to have been inadvertently omitted in the transcription before “first normal obstacle”. Nolini also agrees, but we must ask you about it.

Put back the “the”.

P.S. The Arab-Israeli statement of yours hasn’t still reached me.

Three days ago I gave it to be typed for you!

10 July 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

There is a story going round that into the body of X you have put the soul of Y! Apart from anything else, I believe Y is still alive. Or has he been put to sleep in order to give his soul a better embodiment? The story strikes me as rather fantastic — but one never knows until one asks you. A less colourful report says that this time you have completely succeeded in putting a great soul into a baby at the very moment of birth.

When will you learn not to listen to all the rumours going about in this place!

15 July 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

Two years ago an eye doctor in Bombay found an incipient cataract in my right eye. Lately I had a talk with our Dr. Agarwal and he told me that such a cataract could be cured by the Bates system.[16] On examining my eyes he felt sure. I am trying out his treatment. He has been very kind and eager and I wish to cooperate with an open and trustful mind. Will you please bless the treatment?

It is a very good treatment. You can follow it with my blessings.

21 July 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

Before Dr. Agarwal’s treatment would be well underway I wanted my incipient cataract to be officially certified, so I went this morning to Dr. Gorimedu to get my eyes examined by an expert. I have been authoritatively told that not only has my right eye an incipient cataract but that also my left eye has a cataract just starting though I feel nothing. Now Dr. Agarwal’s treatment is put against the proper scientific background and can claim full credit when it succeeds. I am sure it will succeed, especially since you have blessed it. Do you think I did something wrong in going to Gorimedu?

Very good — you did well. Now you must cure and it will be very interesting.

Blessings

26 July 1967

*

(The following text was published in the July 1967 issue of Mother India. On the typed sheet sent for approval, the Mother added the final sentence in her own hand.)

THE JEWS AND THE ARABS

Some Answers by the Mother

How is one to explain this age-old enmity between the Jews and the Arabs (although having a common ancestor), hating each other generation on generation up to the impasse in which we have been living from some days back?

Perhaps the enmity exists just because they are neighbours!…

Violence and enmity…when brothers hate, they hate much more than others. Sri Aurobindo has said: “Hate is the indication of the possibility of a much greater love.”

Could we think that these two great peoples in conflict represent the symbolic Forces called to decide the fate of our civilisation?

It is not this conflict that will decide the future of our civilisation.

The Mussulmans and the Israelites represent the two religions where the faith in God is the most extreme. Only, the faith of the Israelites is a faith in an impersonal God and faith of the Mussulmans is a faith in a personal God.

The Arabs are passionate natures. They live almost exclusively in the vital, with its passions, its desires, while the Israelites live chiefly in the mind with a great power of organisation and of realisation, which is quite exceptional. The Israelites are intellectuals with a remarkable will. They are not sentimental, that is to say they do not like weakness.

The Mussulmans are impulsive, the Israelites are rational.

1 August 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

Kindly look at what follows. I shall be very thankful if you permit me to publish it in the Mother India of August 15. It will be most appropriate.

You can publish both after corrections. These corrections are important and must not be forgotten.

THE SIGNIFICANCE OF SRI AUROBINDO’S BIRTH

Some Words of the Mother

Till the birth of Sri Aurobindo, religions and spiritualities were always centred on past figures, and they were showing as “the goal” the negation of life upon earth. So, you had a choice between two alternatives: either

— a life in this world with its round of petty pleasures and pains, joys and sufferings, threatened by hell if you were not behaving properly, or

— an escape into another world, heaven or paradise.[17]

Between these two there is nothing much to choose.[18]

Sri Aurobindo has told us that this was a fundamental mistake which accounts for the weakness and degradation of India. It was sufficient[19] to sap all energy out of the country.

True, India is the only place in the world which is still aware that something else than matter exists. The other countries have quite forgotten it: Europe, America and elsewhere … That is why she still has a message to preserve and deliver to the world. But at present she is splashing and floundering in the muddle.

Sri Aurobindo has shown that the truth does not lie in running away from earthly life but in remaining in it, to transform it, divinise it so that the Divine can manifest HERE, in this PHYSICAL WORLD. (31 March 1967)

3 August 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

We have the idea to persuade Suren Mohan[20] to write his memoirs for Mother India. They will indeed be valuable. We shall provide him with all facilities — secretarial help, etc. But we must first have your permission for our idea. If we have it, we can go ahead and see whether he is willing.

(No reply)

13 August 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

Some days back I wrote to you asking permission for Mother India to approach Suren Mohan for his memoirs. I hope you haven’t forgotten my letter.

It is purposely that I did not answer. Because you can ask him if you like — but you must not tell him “Mother has said” or “Mother has approved” or “Mother wishes you” or anything of the kind. I refuse to come in the picture.

Blessings

16 August 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

In my first note about Surendra Mohan, as well as in the second, you will find the word “permission”, and not “approval” or “wish” or even “sanction”. The only point to ascertain was a negative one — namely, whether you had any objection. Withholding your reply on purpose has only served to prevent me from settling the matter with Suren Mohan by personal talk. I am on very good terms with him and personal talk would have been rather helpful.

But, since you have suspected me and prevented this talk, I have the faith that somehow it will ultimately be better to write and ask. Whatever gets done by you is sure to benefit one if one can accept it as an act of Grace.

May I have your Blessings again?

Blessings

17 August 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

May I use the following in the September Mother India? I am accompanying it with an English translation. Will you please check it? (Amal sent both the French original and the English translation. Below only the English is given.)

WORDS OF THE MOTHER

To break with old traditions and not to obey old rules is good — provided you discover within yourself a higher and truer consciousness which manifests harmony, peace, beauty and a superior order vast and progressive. (26 August 1967)

It is all right.

P.S. About a week back I sent you two short notes about M’s son F. One of them concerned a very serious problem of his. Will you please look at them and write something?

I have read the letters.

All sincere effort to progress and get rid of dangerous habits is answered and supported by an active help from the Grace but the effort must be steady and the aspiration must be sincere.

Blessings

5 September 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

Thanks indeed for what you have written about F’s problem. He will greatly appreciate it. But he will be extremely happy also if you could say a word about his recent brilliant success in the medical examination — the winning of the Gold Medal. He has always turned to you for help in all his studies and a little encouragement from you will mean more to him than even the highest praise from anybody else.

Here is a blessing packet for him. But success is nothing. It is what one realises that is important.

6 September 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

Some months back H and I had proposed that Mother India should take up book publication. You did not object. Now we have a book with which to make a debut — a book which we expect to sell. It is a collection of articles by me, which were first published in Mother India, The Advent or other Ashram periodicals. These pieces have been considerably appreciated and there was a suggestion to collect them and give them book-form. Many of them were seen and approved for publication[21] by Sri Aurobindo himself. I don’t have his comments on all but I was lucky enough to hear one, through Nirod, on an article called “Freewill in Sri Aurobindo’s Vision”. Sri Aurobindo said: “It is excellent. In fact, it could not be bettered.” There will be 15 articles in all, and the and the collection will be entitled: The Vision and Work of Sri Aurobindo. H will try to secure the finance. Do you approve of the plan? If you do, will you please help us with your blessings?

My blessings are with you. When do you want to publish it?

17 September 1967

*

(Letter to the Mother from M, sent through Amal:)

Beloved,

My daughter R has been constantly puzzling over the fact that the body of St. Francis Xavier is still undecayed after centuries. There does not seem to be any embalming done. R wants to know how this “miracle” has happened. What keeps the body incorrupt? Would you write a few words about it?

It is not a “miracle” but simply an unusual case.

He was a saint and an ascetic, even when he was alive the body was reduced to its minimum.

It is a phenomenon of dehydration.

18 September 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

I found your reply to R’s question about the body of St. Francis Xavier extremely interesting, quite a new vision of things. Could we infer from it that the undecayed condition here points to a hitherto unrealised natural possibility of result by dehydration — opening a new vista for physical science? When you say that this condition is not a “miracle”, I suppose you quite rule out any direct action from beyond nature.

What do you mean? There is nothing in this world which is not submitted to a direct action beyond Nature — but most of the men are unaware of it.

18 September 1967

*

(Amal wrote again about the body of St. Francis Xavier, but his letter is not available. The Mother wrote on a separate sheet of paper.)

Your questions are mental ratiocinations and are not interesting.

19 September 1967

*

Mother dearest,

As regards my questions about St. Francis, I regret I came down to the level of “mental ratiocinations”. But there is a genuine inquiry behind them. If you could just overlook the too mental form of what seems like “cross examination” on my part, if you could say something more in your own way, all of us would be benefitted. Perhaps you would like to wait until R herself sees your reply and puts a further question?

My own problem basically is: What exactly has made this “phenomenon of dehydration” such “an unusual case”? Some power in the saint himself — some power outside him?

If you are so curious, ask the saint, he may tell you!

20 September 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

You know that H and I have been on the lookout for some place, however small, which by being near the Ashram could serve as an effective point of liaison with the public reached by Mother India. Now we have heard that the small office next to the Ashram Post Office is vacant. Is it not possible to let Mother India have a distributing and receiving centre next to the Post Office?

The post office has asked for this office because they are short of space.

So it is out of question.

21 September 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

Here is something you wrote to Oscar some time back. May I publish it in the October Mother India? I am sending a translation also. Will you please check it? (Amal sent the French original and the English translation. Only the English is given below.)

ON MUSIC

Two Answers by the Mother

X and I play the flute together. We have found a book (Folksongs of North America) whose songs have very beautiful, very simple and easy-to-play airs. We should like to know if the poems of love and death which do not seem to go with our ideal in the Ashram have a bad spirit in the tune. Are the Catholic religious pieces of music, which are played in the churches, bad to play? If so, we shall not play either the airs accompanied by vulgar words nor the religious compositions.

One should suppress the words and keep only the music in both the cases.

If you know how to write the music, make copies of the airs you want to play (without copying the words). If you do not know how to write the music ask someone who does — Jo for example — to do it for you or to teach you to do it.

Do not keep the books with you, for these books can have a bad influence. (1965)

*

What is it we should attend to in music?

How to judge the quality of a piece of music?

How to develop good taste (for music)?

What do you think of light music (cinema, jazz, etc.) which our children like very much?

The role of music lies in helping the consciousness to uplift itself towards the spiritual heights.

All that lowers the consciousness, encourages desires and excites the passions runs counter to the true goal of music and ought to be avoided.

It is not a question of designation but of inspiration — and the spiritual consciousness alone can be the judge there. (22 July 1967)

All right.

25 September 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

Last Friday I had written to you not only about N’s birthday but also about F and S. You promptly sent me a birthday card for N. But you have forgotten to say anything apropos of my quotation of F’s very distressed note about himself and his wife. Won’t you please look at my letter again?

Nothing was written because there was nothing to write.

4 October 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

I intend to publish in Mother India this handout on Auroville. But I have made a few changes to bring in accuracy and to avoid the pompous or rhetorical note. Your French phrase “l’union d’une harmonie compréhensive” is clear — it provides an excellent definition of the kind of union wanted, but the literal English translation, “the union of a comprehensive harmony”, sounds like an incomplete expression with one of the two expected terms for “union” left out. I have suggested: “a union of comprehensive harmony”. That seems to give the proper definition in English. Here, as in one other place, accuracy is sought to be served by my alteration. Elsewhere you’ll see an attempt at a simple, unforced and natural note. Do you approve of what I have done?

It is all right. The changes are indeed very good. I wish this new version should be adopted, if more copies are to be printed.

(The handout on Auroville mentioned above was published in the Mother India of October 1967. Its opening sentence, which was written by the Mother in French, is reproduced below in Amal’s English translation.)

On February 28, 1968 the whole world will take part in laying the foundation stone of Auroville… the town dedicated to the youth of the world in order to establish a union of comprehensive harmony within Auroville.

10 October 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

M has sent a letter for you. It runs:

“Dearest Mother, my immediate problem is the excessive smoking in which N and my two sons F and D are indulging. As you know, N has not been well for the last two years. D also had at one time a congenital heart defect. Both of them feel constantly a pain in the back over the lung area. And N is all the time losing weight. Both F and D very often go hungry and walk miles because the money given is spent on cigarettes.

“Dearest, sweetest Mother, I request You to give them the strength to break this harmful habit. Their own wills are too weak. Only You can impose Your own all-powerful Will on them and with Your subtle direction they will be made to change.”

Mother, what shall I reply to her?

That I am not in the habit of forcing my will upon others.

If they, themselves, ask for help, the help will be given.

24 October 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

May I have a block made of these words of yours? I shall not be quoting the question to which they are a reply. The title will be:

THE MOTHER’S HELP

A Letter

I am not in the habit of forcing my will upon others. If they, themselves, ask for help, the help will be given.

All right.

9 November 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

In one of your declarations on Auroville you have the title-phrase “The first condition to live in Auroville”. Would you mind very much if, instead of “to live” we put “for living”? Both Tehmi and I felt that this would satisfy English idiom better?

Certainly yes — “for living” is much more correct.

P.S. There is a little oversight in another phrase — in your letter on gossip. Would you permit us to print “I wish all would repent like you” in place of “I wish all repent like you”? Of course these are only suggestions.

I shall do exactly what you want.

To correct is quite all right and I fully agree!

29 November 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

Will it be possible for you to find the report which S sent you a week back of S’s dream about A? If not, she can request A to send another copy for you. A is very anxious to know the meaning. So will you be kind enough to say a few words? It was quite a short report.

Usually I give no “meaning” to dreams, because each one has his own symbolism which has a meaning only for himself. I read the letter of which you speak and found nothing to be said about it.

c. 1967

*

Dearest Mother,

This morning, just before waking, I had a dream in which I saw your flag being hoisted high up on the top of a building, where you yourself are standing. I am watching from the street, sitting in a carriage — or, rather, in the carriage door. I feel great enthusiasm as the flag goes up. Is any special victory indicated?

Perhaps a victory in your own mind — let us hope so!

8 January 1968

*

Dearest Mother,

I have received from Oscar a photostat of what you have written on Auroville: “At last a place where one will be able to think only of progressing and transcending oneself” etc. Is this also reserved for the Bulletin — or can Mother India use it?

It is reserved.

c. February 1968

*

Dearest Mother

I am giving here the English translation of some matter which you have approved for the March Mother India. Is it all right?

I wish my money to be used exclusively to conquer the causes of our sufferings and miseries.

It is for this that we are working here, but not in the artificial manner of the philanthropists who are busy only with outer effects.

We wish to abolish for ever the cause of suffering by divinising matter through the integral transformation.

Yes.

18 February 1968

*

(Amal sent to the Mother the entreaty of a friend:) Please tell Mother that I feel all the time as if life and energy were flowing away from me out of my hands and feet and I cannot stop it.

Why does he complain? The energy must be spent to be renewed. The human body is not a closed jar that gets emptied by spending. The human body is a channel that receives only when it spends.

Let him eat well, sleep well, avoid wrong thinking and spend normally. He will soon be all right.

20 April 1968

*

Dearest Mother,

There is a very fine recent statement of yours on sincerity and the Divine Force at work at present, all basically apropos of Auroville. Oscar showed it to me. It has such a general bearing that I feel its publication in the May Mother India will be very much appreciated. If you approve of my publishing it, I shall send you M’s English translation, along with the French original for scrutiny.

You can send it.

(The text mentioned above appeared in the Mother India issue of May 1968; it says:)

There should be an absolutely transparent sincerity. Lack of sincerity is the cause of the difficulties we meet with at present. Insincerity is in all men. There are perhaps a hundred men on the earth who may be totally sincere. It is man’s very nature that makes him insincere — it is very complicated, for he is constantly tricking himself, hiding truth from himself, excusing himself. Yoga is the means to become sincere in all the parts of the being.

It is difficult to be sincere, but you can at least do so mentally; it is this that one can demand of Aurovilians.

The force is there, present as never before; it is the insincerity of men that prevents it from descending, from being felt. The world is in falsehood, all the relations between men have so far been based only on falsehood and fraud. The diplomacy among nations is founded on lies. They claim to desire peace and, on the other hand, arm themselves. Only transparent sincerity in men and among nations will permit the advent of a transformed world.

Auroville is the first attempt of the experiment. A new world will be born if men are willing to make the effort of a transformation and of a quest for sincerity; it is possible. From animal to man thousands of years were necessary; today man, thanks to his mind, can speed up and will a transformation towards a man who shall be Divine.

This transformation with the help of the mind (by analysing oneself) is the first stage; afterwards, we have to transform the vital impulses. That is much more difficult, and, above all, to transform the physical: each cell of our body should become conscious. This is the work I am doing here; it will permit the conquest of death. That is another story; that will be the humanity of the future, perhaps in centuries, perhaps more rapidly. It will depend on men, on peoples.

Auroville is the first step towards this goal.

(February 1968)

In the meantime I am sending another letters of yours, with my English translation for approval. (Amal sent both the French original and his English translation. Below only the English is given.)

READING SRI AUROBINDO AND THE MOTHER

A Letter to the Mother

How should one read the books of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother?

The true method is to read a little at a time, with concentration, then keep the mind as silent as possible, without trying actively to understand, but turn upward in the silence and aspire to the light. The understanding will come little by little.[22]

And later, in a year or two, you will re-read the same thing and then you will know that the first contact was vague and incomplete and that the true understanding comes later on when you have tried to put into practice. (16 October 1967)

Blessings

29 April 1968

*

Dearest Mother,

There is a message of yours which I wish to publish in Mother India in block form. It runs: “C’est dans le silence que le vrai progrès peut se faire.”

I have translated it: “It is in silence that true progress can be made.”

May I have your approval?

All right.

Blessings

19 May 1968

*

(Amal submitted the following the two texts for approval to publish them in the July 1968 issue of Mother India.)

It is certain that for living at Auroville a great progress of consciousness has to be made.

But the moment has come when this progress is possible. (June 1968)

*

Do you permit me to leave my children quite independent? Well, then, what should be my role?

According to what I know and see, in a general way, after 14 years, children should be left independent and they should be advised only to the extent that they ask for it.

They should know that they are responsible for the conduct of their own existence. (17 March 1968)

It is all right.

c. June 1968

*

Dearest Mother,

May I publish the following in this month’s Mother India?

THE MOTHER ON THE ASHRAM AND AUROVILLE

What is the difference between the Ashram and Auroville?

The Ashram will keep its role as pioneer, inspirer and guide. Auroville will be an experiment in collective realisation. (June 1968)

Yes.

10 July 1968

*

Mother dearest,

Would it be too presumptuous of me to pray for a minute’s darshan of you after S on the first at 8 a.m.? Oh, it has been so long since your last sweet touch!

Yes.

28 October 1968

*

Dearest Mother,

To solve the problem of my 21 unpublished books as well as of our great financial difficulty in general, I should like to apply for the Jawaharlal Nehru Scholarship. This Scholarship gives a very substantial payment every month for one whole year, enabling the recipient to pursue, with ample facility, specific researches which he has to name. I may add that a great joy to us resulting from the Scholarship will be our ability to make offerings to you every month. No strings are attached to the Scholarship.

The application is to be made through an educational institute. I asked Kireet if he would recommend me. He replied, “Most gladly. I have been a pupil of yours.” But, of course, your approval and blessings are first required. Will you give me a push?

All right.

Blessings

30 May 1969

*

(Amal submitted the following two texts for approval to publish them in the September 1969 issue of Mother India.)

Here sensibleness is indispensable and the integral yoga is based on balance, calm and peace and not on an unhealthy need to suffer. (12 May 1969)

*

Hostility, recoil and distrust seem to me so useless. We could so easily be friends, each and all.

This is just what the Supreme Lord says to Himself when He sees the life of men upon earth.

(14 September 1969)

All right.

Blessings

Late 1969

*

(Amal sent a report on the financial condition of Mother India. It is followed by the Mother’s comments.)

SOME DETAILS ABOUT MOTHER INDIA

Ever since December 1968, the Press, which used to charge us about Rs. 500 every month (paper cost), has been charging us about Rs. 1600 for composing, printing, etc. We have tried to pay all the charges, but the bills of four months have not been met: this means a debt of over Rs. 6000.

Out of our subscriptions and advertisements we can pay up to Rs. 1000 monthly. So, even if we could pay off the Rs. 6000 debt, we shall be in the future in loss every month by Rs. 600.

If we can get advertisements to cover two or three pages each month, we can meet the excess. In the meantime we are badly in need of some donation to help us pay off those Rs. 6000.

I quite agree to “Mother India” continuing; but the Press is insisting to be paid and “Mother India” must pay — that is all. If it can pay it continues.

If it cannot pay it must stop.

And I say like that because I am convinced that with a little trouble and care it must be able to pay.

So, take the trouble and go on. Dyuman is ready to help in the organisation.

With love and blessings.

22 January 1970

*

Mother dearest,

O please help me to belong entirely to you! I want a radical push inward and upward as well as outward towards you. I hope I don’t seem too hopeless to you.

Not at all hopeless — I am sure that finally it will be all right. But, for the moment, you are still too much attached to your intellectual cleverness — it hampers your progress.

My blessings

*

The only way to remedy too much talking is to keep silent.

[1] To this letter Sri Aurobindo replied: “It is an excellent foundation for the other truths that are to come — for they all result from it.”

[2] Dr. Ramchandra was a homeopathic doctor who lived in the Ashram.

[3] Dr. Ramchandra was a homeopathic doctor who lived in the Ashram.

[4] “So much the worse for them!”

[5] The Bates system is a natural method of eyesight cure involving eye exercises and relaxation of the eyes.

[6] The Mother originally wrote “upon the other”. In a marginal note Amal suggested either “to the other” or “over the other”. The Mother chose “over the other”.

[7] In a marginal note Amal asked, “What is meant by ‘on one side’?” The Mother replied, “I suppose I meant ‘from a certain point of view’.”

[8] The Mother originally wrote “by action than by meditation”. In a marginal note Amal suggested “in action than in meditation”. The Mother accepted this suggestion.

[9] The question for the first passage is not available. The question for the second passage was: “Why are women absent from the long list of Avatars we get? Besides, there are very few ladies who have left a spiritual tradition behind them.”

[10] The Mother evidently approved the publication of these two texts, for they appeared in the October 1960 issue of Mother India.

[11] The Mother evidently approved the publication of this text, for it appeared in the Mother India issue of December 1960.

[12] This entry is an extract from the Mother’s conversation of 4 July 1962.

[13] “But I am not so sure that these people won’t cheat you!”

[14] “To water the plants”

[15] In the reply to question (2) below, Amal typed the phrase “the result to obtain”. The Mother corrected this to “the result which is the inevitable consequence of the triumph of the Truth”.

[16] The Bates system is a natural method of eyesight cure involving eye exercises and relaxation of the eyes. It was practised by Dr. Agarwal, who lived in the Ashram and founded the Ashram’s School for Perfect Eyesight.

[17] The Mother corrected “heaven, nirvana, moksha” to “heaven or paradise”.

[18] The Mother omitted “— they are equally bad.” after “choose”.

[19] The Mother corrected “Buddhism, Jainism, Illusionism were sufficient” to “It was sufficient”.

[20] Surendra Mohan Ghose, a minister in Nehru’s cabinet.

[21] The Mother added the phrase “and approved for publication” in her own hand.

[22] The Mother corrected Amal’s “bit by bit” to “little by little”.

Series Three
Correspondence with Sanjiban

Sanjiban Biswas was born on 30 January 1913 and joined the Ashram on 15 February 1933 at the age of twenty. Two months after his arrival, the Mother began training him as an artist. For many years, he taught students in the Ashram school to draw and paint. He lived in the Ashram for fifty-eight years, passing away on 18 October 1991 at the age of seventy-eight.

Sanjiban’s correspondence with the Mother, entirely in English, covers the period from 1933 to 1941. It deals mainly with art and shows how the Mother patiently guided this sensitive young man as he developed into an excellent artist.

Mother,

I have joined the work of book-binding. At night and in the morning I have tried to make some envelopes and I am offering them at Thy Feet. I also thought of offering a writing pad.

The envelopes are very pretty. A few more envelopes would be more useful than a writing pad.

March 1933

*

O Mother,

Shall I try to copy human figures? If it is not yet time to do so, I shall wait for the proper time to come.

You can begin to study the human figure, but that from nature, not from books. Ask people to give you half an hour sitting and make pencil sketches.

14 April 1933

*

O Mother,

I am sending three drawings. My attempts at life sketches have been unsuccessful. The first one is rather hopeless, but even in the second the real appearance of the person has not come out.

The attempts are not so bad for a beginning. You must persevere.

How to take measurements at the time of making these sketches? Can I know from Thee how to make such sketches?

I cannot very well explain these things by writing. I must show you. So I shall see you for that purpose next Friday, the 21st, at 11 A.M.

16 April 1933

*

O my Mother,

I am sending a drawing in coloured pencil. It is quite unsuccessful. As the colours are waxen and as I am not accustomed to drawing with colours, I find it difficult to put shadings. The colours do not mix with one another.

It is not expected that they should mix — the technique is to apply the colours by dots or short lines very close to one another but not to mix them; it gives a much more living effect than the mixing and expresses well the play of colours and of light.

(To show the technique, the Mother made several quick colour sketches.)

You can make in that way all possible shades.

28 April 1933

*

O my Sweet Mother,

I am sending a drawing to Thy Feet. I have tried to draw it like that book cover, but I am not successful in this attempt. I don’t know how I can make it better.

I find it good enough. You might try now on a sheet big enough to cover a book. You can make the same kind of decoration with greens, blues, reds. It is better not to mix many different colours for one sheet. The play of colours must be done by using several shades of the same colour; several greens or several blues, etc.

3 May 1933

*

O my Sweet Mother,

I am sending a sketch of a human face. I thought of making a sketch of the front view of X, but when I began it I found that it did not resemble him. I am always afraid of these front views. Before I begin to sketch, many disappointing ideas arise, such as, it won’t come out successful, it won’t resemble a human figure, etc.; these ideas come to my mind and I get nervous.

Of course it does not resemble X but as a drawing it is not bad.

You must be prepared to be unsuccessful many many times before you can truly learn. It is with the effort of many failures that you prepare a progress leading towards success.

19 May 1933

*

O my Mother,

I am sending a drawing to Thee. There I have tried to make a sketch of Y. But his resemblance has not come out in it.

I recognised him at once (before reading your letter) and liked the drawing well.

23 May 1933

*

O my Mother,

I am sending a drawing to Thee. I have tried to make a sketch of Z. I don’t know how Thou likest it.

The shadows are made a little too roughly and thus give the impression that the face is dirty. But the resemblance is not bad.

24 May 1933

*

O my Mother,

I tried to make a sketch of X in the morning today. I am sending it to Thee.

It is not very successful! She looks there quite like an old woman.

27 May 1933

*

O my Mother,

I am sending a sketch of myself to Thee.

It is improving. Now you must try to bring out the delicate shades and a careful expression of details.

6 June 1933

*

O my Mother,

I have tried to make drawings for book covers and am sending the rough pencil sketches to Thee. I think a very delicate brush will be necessary.

The drawing is all right.

Nagin had presented me with some water colour brushes. I have returned them to him. Perhaps among them you would find what you need. But if not, it will be better to look for one brush in the bazaar, or at Babylone (who sells books and drawing books) or at the Mission.

27 June 1933

*

O my Mother,

I tried to make a sketch of Y today. I am sending it to Thee.

It is good. The nose is just a little too flat.

4 July 1933

*

O my Mother,

I tried to make a sketch of Z today. The light and shadow fell on his face in such a way that I found it very difficult to make the sketch. I am sending it to Thee.

Before doing a drawing you must find the proper place for the model to sit. Generally near a window where the lights and shadows will be frank and precise, is the best — before starting the work, you must try several positions and choose the best.

4 August 1933

*

I am sending you back the Japanese bridge that you have painted, along with two models of bridges. Generally these bridges in Japan are lacquered. The colour on the post card is exact. I have seen that famous bridge at Nikko.

I will ask you to send me back the post card when you have finished as it is part of a collection.

26 August 1933

*

O my Mother,

I finished painting that book cover today. I am sending it to Thy Feet. I am searching for a new design and if I can get hold of one I shall begin another cover tomorrow. Ma, shall I use those tube colours for book covers? For one cover almost a piece of water-colour cake is required.

The cover is very good. But it would be a pity to use the tubes for that. The colours in cakes are much cheaper.

2 September 1933

*

O my Mother,

In the new colour box I find that the paste in one tube has dried up. How can I use it? Shall I break the tube or try to put some water inside in order to soften it?

The easiest way is to carefully cut the tube open (cutting lengthwise) and to use the paint as you would a dry one.

14 September 1933

*

O my Mother,

This afternoon I went to the colonial garden. There I made a sketch of some bamboos. I also did a portion of the trunk of a bamboo with coloured pencils. I shall try to paint them tomorrow if Thou likest. Ma, dost Thou like that I should try to copy things from nature in this way? Though there is nothing to be seen in the sketch, yet I am sending it to show Thee.

It is good to make sketches from nature. It gives richness, variety and precision to the execution.

I shall be interested to see what painting you will make out of this.

16 September 1933

*

O my Mother,

I have received a letter from Bhupati. He has sent some Japanese landscapes on post cards for You. If you like I could ask him to send some more such landscapes, if possible.

These landscapes are not Japanese, they are either English or German.

25 September 1933

*

O my Mother,

This afternoon I went with X to see a work-site. There I made a sketch which I would like to show Thee. Ma, I find difficulty in showing distance and can’t set things correctly. Shall I try it again with paints?

It is not bad. You can try it in painting. If you want the background to be far away you must be careful to keep it of a paler shade than the foreground. And pale mauve and pale blue can be used freely. Also details must be left more indistinct than in front.

3 October 1933

*

O my Mother,

I have finished the landscape I began yesterday. I began it well but at the time of putting the back-ground I almost spoiled it, so I finished it rather carelessly. I am sending it to Thy Feet.

It is not bad. The background is just a little too dark and the houses on the right side a little too precise, which gives to them an air of toys.

8 October 1933

*

O my Mother,

I am sending another landscape for Thy suggestions as to how to paint it. It is a night scene, so will not the sky and the water portions be of pale blue?

Surely not pale blue, but deep, dark blue as it is on a moonless night.

What are the white effects in the sky? Are they some fireworks? What should be their colour?

The fireworks must be of pale bright colours, golden, orange, and red chiefly. The reflections in the water must be of the same colours as the fireworks but a little fainter.

15 October 1933

*

It is a question of shadows and light. The colouring of the shadows is wrong. The shadows are never of the same colour as the light but darker.

The colour of the shadows is always somewhat complementary of that of the light. The complementary colours are

green and red

orange and blue

violet and yellow

and all the intermediary shades with all the possible combinations.

Thus if in the light your ground is green, in the shadow, it will be probably of a reddish brown. If it is of some kind of golden orange, the shadow will be of a bluish purple, and so on.

1933

*

O my Mother,

I have coloured the landscape on the envelope given to me this morning. I am sending it to Thy Feet.

It is good. I am sending you another one. You will notice the mountains in the background with the white mist hanging over them. It is very Japanese.

Ma, I have done three sketches. First one of Y and then one of me at noon. And then one of Z done just now in the electric light. I am sending them all to Thy Feet.

They are quite good. Indeed there is a remarkable progress. Push on your studies now. You are on the right path.

8 December 1933

*

O my Mother,

I have drawn two hands.

They are not bad, but you must be careful about the proportions of the fingers to the palm. In the classical hand both are of the same length. The fingers may be longer, it is rare that they are shorter and it makes always very heavy hands.

P.S. It will be good to do some more studies of hands.

9 December 1933

*

O my Mother,

I have drawn two hands and two legs. The foot of one leg has become disproportionately long, I think. I also tried to make a sketch of the whole body, but I could not do the feet well, so I left it and drew the two legs.

The sketches of arms and legs are good except one foot (not the longest which is all right but the other which is a little clumsy).

The whole body sketch is not so good because you have not kept the right proportion between the bust and the legs. The bust is all right, the legs are too short by two inches at least. It is because you started the sketch too big and when you arrived towards the end your paper was too small. When you want to do a certain sketch on a certain sheet of paper, you must first establish roughly the whole of it, keeping in view only the proportions. For a whole figure it will make it easier to keep the right proportion by keeping in mind that a normal body contains 7 heads including the head itself; less makes a short man and more a tall one.

I am sending you a sketch of a man with the seven heads marked.

Ma, should I make these drawings and sketches smaller than I am doing now? If I go on doing them in the present way, shall I be able to do them well when I am required to do them smaller?

This size of sketch is all right. For study the bigger the better.

12 December 1933

*

O my Mother,

I have drawn two hands and two legs. The legs were done very swiftly, so I think they have become a little clumsy.

No, they are all right and the hands also. Now you might try once more an “ensemble” to learn to keep the right proportion.

14 December 1933

*

O my Mother,

I have done two sketches of the whole body. They are not coming out well. I don’t know how I can improve them.

There is some improvement; in fact they would be good except for the forearms that are weak and the hands which are far too small (especially in the standing picture).

Open your hand and place it on your face, fingers up, you will see that a normal hand goes from the chin to the top of the forehead. I have marked on the standing figure the size the hand ought to have.

16 December 1933

*

O my Mother,

I have made a sketch of the whole body. I don’t know what are the mistakes but it seems somewhat unnatural. Has the throat become a little too long?

Yes, and the head just a little too small — not much. The forearms and hands are still clumsy, but on the whole there is great improvement. Continue to do sketches of the whole figure until you succeed completely.

17 December 1933

*

O my Mother,

I have made two sketches. Have the proportions come out right in the standing one? It has become somewhat clumsy and that is due, I think, to my quickly finishing it. The other one was also quickly done as the model’s time was over and so it is unfinished.

The sitting posture can be finished. It is worth finishing as the proportions are almost all right.

In the standing posture, from the knees down the legs are once more too small, but you might take up the sketch again and correct it, making the legs one good inch longer. Send me these two sketches back when they are finished.

Henceforth I shall try to do one sketch, giving more time and doing slowly.

This is much better, and even if you have not finished in one day, you can continue the next day.

18 December 1933

*

O my Mother,

I am sending back the two sketches I did yesterday.

I see that the standing posture (begun yesterday) has become now a little too long. The bottom part of the legs is all right now. It is the part between the waist and the knees that is a little too long. But you cannot correct it now.

I have also begun a new one and though unfinished I would like to show it to Thee.

It is good, you can finish it.

Be careful about the hands, they are still a little clumsy.

19 December 1933

*

O my Mother,

I have finished the sketch I began yesterday. I tried to do the hand carefully, but I could not do it well. Has the left leg become a little too small?

It would be rather the right one that is a little long. But on the whole the proportions are much better and the sketch is good. Hands and feet need special attention. You might do, once more, some separate big (life size) drawings.

20 December 1933

*

O my Mother,

I have drawn a hand and a leg. The foot seems too fleshy and it is due to shading, which I think is not right. At first I made it too big and so afterwards I had to finish it quickly as the model’s time was over. Shall I in this way go on doing some legs and hands?

I find the leg and foot very good. The arm and hand also are much better.

To continue the studies, it would be good if you could find some other benevolent model as a change in the form of hand and foot would be helpful.

21 December 1933

*

O my Mother,

Thou hast written that it would be better if I can get another model but I don’t know whom I can get. Since the beginning when I was trying to learn the human figure, I was expecting somebody to give me a sitting, but I got nobody except X at last. At least today I got Y to sit for me.

Of course, so long as you find nobody else for sitting you can make drawings of X; it is very useful. But at the same time you might let it be known that you are ready to make a sketch of all those who will give you sittings and it seems to me that there are some who would be but too glad to have sketches made of them.

22 December 1933

*

O my Mother,

I asked Z to give me a sitting and he told me to do it today. So I have made a sketch of his face and of his small hand and his foot. In the face I think the resemblance has not come well.

I recognised him at once and found the sketch quite good. The hand also is good, and the foot is well done but the position is not favourable. That is to say, to do feet it is better to sit on the floor, the foot will seem less flat.

23 December 1933

*

O my Mother,

I have tried to draw two hands in the pose which I could not do well in the last whole body sketch. But they have not come out well even this time.

The one on the hip is all right now. The other one, leaning against the wall, was not in a pretty position, because it was not expressive of the movement of leaning. I have roughly outlined the changed position of the second finger which will make it all right, it seems to me.

27 December 1933

*

O my Mother,

I have tried to make a sketch of X. These front views are very difficult for me. I can’t do them well.

It is rather good. You must do some more and they will become all right.

I have also tried to improve the last whole body sketch. Ma, my hand is still quite rigid and I can’t do fine lines, especially where I have to do something small.

It is by doing that the hand becomes conscious and loses its clumsiness.

28 December 1933

*

O my Mother,

I am getting less delight in continuing the study of the human figure and I think I shall not be able to continue unless with a new inspiration. However, I shall try.

It would be a pity to stop as you are progressing very well.

1 January 1934

*

O my Mother,

I tried to finish the last sketch of the whole body. First I did the hands and feet and then the face twice or thrice but failed and so left the sketch as it is. Afterwards I tried to draw the face separately in the same pose but could not do it well even there.

I do not find these sketches bad at all. But the lack of interest you find in them comes from the fact that they are done always from the same figure. The form becomes too familiar and the way of expressing it becomes almost mechanical and loses most of its interest. It is why I had said to try to find someone else to sit for you, because it would have renewed the interest.

2 January 1934

*

O my Mother,

I have tried to make a sketch of Y. I think his resemblance has not come out well in it.

No, it is all right. You are improving, in your sketches, very much.

22 January 1934

*

O my Mother,

How to do sketches like walking, running, etc.? In the present sketch I tried to show the movement of walking but it has not come. If the arm had leaned more towards the front, it would have shown the movement?

The movement is all right and would have been expressive except for the foot which is not in the walking posture.

When you want to express a movement, you must ask your model to do the movement and stop him in the midst of it just at the most expressive moment. If the position taken cannot be kept very long, look at it very carefully in order to remember and make a rapid rough sketch of the most important points: the movement of an arm or leg, the position of the feet, etc.

In the present case, make Z walk across your room and stop him in the middle of the movement which he must keep very exactly. You will see that the foot must be bent, it is the only way of showing the action of walking.

23 January 1934

*

O my Mother,

I began a sketch of X but the resemblance has not come well, so I did not colour it. When I began the sketch, something in me was refusing to continue it and I was feeling very lazy. So I left it and have slept the time away.

It is a pity you left it because it was very good. Even as it is it is resemblant.

26 January 1934

*

O my Mother,

I have tried to make a sketch.

It is good. There is great progress in the arms and hands.

29 January 1934

*

O my Mother,

Y asked me to make a sketch of him. I tried one and it has become quite hopeless.

I find it very good.

30 January 1934

*

O my Mother,

I have begun a sketch but it is not finished. I also tried to make a drawing of the cloth folds according to Thy suggestion, but I could not follow the precise details in it, so I have finished it soon.

The envelope is very good today. The sketch of the cloth is well done. As for the other sketch, the general proportions are good except for one arm (right side of the picture) which gives the impression of being small and the feet also which would gain to be enlarged a little.

5 February 1934

*

O my Mother,

I have tried to improve yesterday’s sketch. Dost Thou find the arm to be all right this time? The feet I could not do well. I shall try to make separate sketches of them.

Yes, the left arm is better but it seems to me that the left shoulder is just a little too broad — it seems somewhat disproportionate to the right one. I mean to say that it looks as if you had drawn the left shoulder side-wise and the right one full front. They must necessarily be both seen from the same angle — like this [sketch from side] or like that [sketch from front].

6 February 1934

*

O my Mother,

I am sending you a landscape I tried to copy from a British painting. I am not yet able to follow the technique of water colour painting.

The very composition of the picture is not quite successful, but that, of course, does not depend on your copy but on the original.

10 February 1934

*

O my Mother,

I could not manage the leaves of the trees on the left side. How can the leaves of the small tree be shown to be behind those of the bigger one?

It is because you have made the leaves almost of the same colour. Those behind must be more dull (with a bluish tint) than those in front.

Shall I make the water in the foreground a little darker and shall I put darker lines for the ripples?

The water must be of a much deeper blue. This is a view of the sea in the south of France and the sea there is of a very deep blue.

5 May 1934

*

O my Mother,

I am sending the sketch. Shall I leave it as it is or try to improve it? If it is to be improved I would like to have Thy suggestions.

The sketch has very much improved, but, I think, you can do something more; it is for the hair. So-called black hair is never black. Look at it attentively and you will see that in the shadows there are deep browns, deep blues and purples. The lights are pale blue if the hair is very black and reddish brown if the hair is less black.

Try to arrange that and you will see that it will improve the picture very much.

I want to ask you to make a drawing for the back corners of a sari. Z will show you the model of the design.

I would like also a few pink and white lotuses to stick on envelopes.

24 May 1934

*

O my Mother,

I have done two small lotuses.

They are both very pretty.

When you will feel tired of doing lotuses you must tell me; and you can suggest anything else you would like to paint.

2 June 1934

*

O my Mother,

I am sending three white lotuses. Ma, now I am feeling less interest in doing lotuses. So wilt Thou suggest something else to be done?

These lotuses are very good.

It would be better if you found out something that you would like to do.

13 June 1934

*

O my Mother,

I have made the rough outlines of the smaller border of the cloth. I have tried to put fishes with long heads and long tails. Shall I put scales on them as I have attempted on one or some small lines as I have done on the other? If I put scales I think it will take very much time for X to embroider them, but she asked me to do them in detail. If I do not put the scales how can I fill in the blank space on the body?

All the drawings are very good and the border is quite successful. I think that scales or lines on all the fishes would make a confusion. I propose that some scales should be put only on 2 or 3 of the biggest front line. The others can remain plain as they are.

28 July 1934

*

O my Mother,

If I put scales on the five big fishes in front, will it be confusing or shall I put them only on the first two or three?

I suppose that some details are necessary on the front fish although they can be simplified to avoid confusion.

31 July 1934

*

Sanjiban,

Could you paint two or three flowers of Realisation as a preparation for drawing a new sari with flowers of Realisation. As usual, a broad border behind, a more narrow one at the bottom and quite a small one at the top.

You can send me a rough sketch before doing the actual design.

8 August 1934

*

O my Mother,

I have begun a rough design for the two borders for the sari — the top and the bottom ones — and would like to be corrected. In the portion behind I want to use some leaves also and want to put a big border.

Yes, these leaves are very decorative. I shall have them made in gold, so you must make them very light and in a decorative way. I am making behind a small sketch of what I mean.

The two borders are good.

Shall I put a small decorative border under them as I did in an earlier design?

Yes, it will be good.

13 August 1934

*

O my Mother,

I finished the peacock design. I also did a drawing of a lion yesterday. Even there the legs are not all right. I shall do more drawings of it.

The peacock design is very pretty. As for the lion he is still a little woody but with some practice it is bound to come.

With blessings always

*

My Mother,

I attempted three rough sketches of swans. If Thou wilt like and select one, then I could try doing a bigger one. Of course I shall try to do it in more detail and clearer.

It is the swan swimming which I like best of the three. I have marked it. It will be quite well for the apron.

Blessings

20 September 1934

*

My Mother,

I have begun a big sketch of a lion which I want to show Thee to know if the proportions are all right. As tomorrow is Sunday I hesitate to ask Thee if I could send it tomorrow.

You can send it tomorrow (Sunday) morning with Nolini.

Have you given the swan to Lila? I ask because I have to send her the cloth for the embroidery. I wonder if it would not be better to trace it yourself on the silk? Surely it would be better for the exactitude of the drawing. If you are ready to do it, I shall send the cloth to you.

With blessings

22 September 1934

*

My Mother,

About the lion. Is it necessary to finish it in detail or shall I simply trace the outline on the cloth and go on putting the shading there? Tara said it is better to have the model. She also asked me to do it on paper.

It seems to me that the best is to do the full drawing on the cloth and Tara can have the photograph from which you have made the study.

Ma, to do it on the cloth I shall need charcoal as I do not have it. I have never used it before and don’t know how it can be managed. I pray for Thy Grace.

It would be better if you could find some in town as I am myself short of it.

You use the charcoal as you would use a pencil — it is not difficult.

With blessings

24 September 1934

*

My Mother,

Something in me gets excited about doing painting and often it brings pressure and pain. Should I not get rid of it, as when I am calm I can better receive Thy Grace?

Yes, much better work is done when one is calm and concentrated. But surely you can become so.

With blessings

25 January 1935

*

My Mother,

I am sending a painting. Ma, what a style with bright colour is coming! Am I going out of the right way or shall I continue? Thou wilt make me conscious if I ever go wrong.

You are surely not going wrong. On the contrary your painting has considerably improved and it is growing into something more and more interesting.

7 May 1935

*

My Mother,

I thought of doing human figures for some time. I tried a coloured sketch of myself, but it is very difficult to bring out the resemblance. I wish to ask Thee how it can be improved. Should I not make the colour of the body darker to resemble me? If so, with what colour should I give a wash?

I find your picture very good and resemblant. Of course the colours are not exactly those of nature, but one is always free to interpret as one likes. I do not see that it would be good to give a wash to the picture. Better leave it as it is.

Ma, it strikes me to ask Thee how artists bring out the tint of the model. Do they manage to bring it exactly as the model is or do they paint it from their mind with the idea of contrasting the light with complementary shadows?

I cannot answer in such a general way. Each artist has his own technique and does things as he understands them. Some choose to give a vivid reproduction of nature, some like better to translate or to symbolise.

18 June 1935

*

Mother,

I wish to show Thee one sketch I have coloured. I could not manage with the short hand and it looks very defective. I tried to bring out the colour of the body, but it is really so difficult; I could not succeed and there is not a clarity of vision. Also I could not choose a proper background or manage with the technique — I mean the application of colours on the paper. Everything is difficult.

You must not be discouraged because it is difficult. Moreover you are progressing. It is by practising that you will form your own technique and also increase the sense of colours. The arm “en raccourci” [foreshortened] is not so bad, it can very well remain.

July 1936

*

Mother,

I wish to ask Thee if Thou wouldst like me to do some pictures from imagination or to confine myself only to portraits or to nature and still-life studies.

I do not see the necessity of sticking to one kind of thing only. In diversity you can find more occasions of progress.

Love and blessings to my dear child

23 June 1937

*

Sanjiban,

Your design for the curtain is very beautiful, but Lila finds it difficult to trace on the satin cloth. Will you kindly do it for her so that it may not be spoilt?

My love and blessings

22 October 1937

*

Mother,

I came here to worship Thee and not with any other desire. I am myself weak and poor and my need is not much, but things from outside enter and torture me so much.

I don’t feel depressed any more now and when I can open myself to Thee I am all in joy. But I did not let Thee know of my difficulties and that was why, it seems, I had to suffer so much.

Yes, if you inform me at once when the difficulties just begin they will have no power to last.

My love, blessings and help are always with you.

6 June 1939

*

Mother,

I am sending Thee an oil-colour sketch of a corner in the dining-room. I could not keep to the drawing well while colouring. Is it not true that I am always careless about the details and so the pictures look unfinished?

I find your painting very good and do not think it would be improved by putting more details; as it is it gives a stronger impression.

For my paintings, truly I do not know when I can find time to show them. But perhaps I might put a few of them (the small ones) in Pavitra’s room and you might see them there.

My love and blessings

16 June 1939

*

Mother,

I was again feeling much like singing. Will you tell me if it would be a hindrance to my Sadhana or harmful to me in any way if I accept music again? If not, will you permit me to sing.

I can’t do much painting now. I have not sufficient energy for it nor do I feel any inspiration. It is so dull!

If by singing you get some satisfaction there is no objection to your singing. But I regret that you have left painting because you were progressing well.

My love and blessings

11 October 1939

*

Mother,

I did not say that I have left painting. I am dragging on with it still. Whatever I try turns out to be hopeless. I did not show them to you or you would have seen what I say. But I have not and will not leave painting especially as you have encouraged me throughout.

Mother, I wanted to ask you something. Do you have a Tanpura (the four-stringed instrument with the accompaniment of which people sing) which may be lying with you and not used by anybody? If you have no objection, could you spare it to me? I shall use it and return whenever you want it back or if I myself don’t feel like singing. I am not sure it is with you but somebody told me you may have one — offered to you by someone.

Let your will be fulfilled in my life.

Indeed I used to have it (the tambura) for some time. But since a long time I do not have it with me. It may be in a box kept in Chandulal’s room, or I might have lent it for use to somebody but in that case I do not remember at all to whom. You might inquire from Chandulal about it. If it is found I shall lend it to you very willingly.

I have received nice catalogues of oil paintings from Lefranc in Paris. Just now it is impossible to order anything but we shall see about it later on.

13 October 1939

*

My dear child,

There is no reason to be discouraged about the sex. However difficult it can be conquered and will be by keeping up perseverance and the will.

As you like singing what you can do is to do it as an offering.

You can be quite successful in painting; you were making very rapid progress at one time. If there has been a setback it is because you were not concentrating on it owing to your being very busy with other things.

You can come for pranam on the staircase whenever you have something to show, as you used to do before.

With my love and blessings

P.S. You can come in the morning, afternoon or after meditation, any of these three times.

1940

*

Mother,

I have come to know that X is going to play the harmonium at Y’s place tonight. Will you permit him to sing only one song (for a short time, say 40 to 45 minutes)? I would like you to hear him.

40 to 45 minutes is a very long time for somebody who has a sore throat.

I cannot give my permission as by doing it I would be false to my own view of things.

With my love and blessings

6 April 1941

*

My dear child,

Keep your faith and your courage — sooner than you believe your difficulties will be over.

I cannot give the flower work to anybody else because you are the only one who can do it as I want it to be done.

With my love and blessings

19 May 1941

Series Four
Correspondence with Kirankumari

Born in 1917, Kirankumari Kothari came to the Ashram on 21 November 1935 at the age of eighteen. She lived in the Ashram for seventy-five years, passing away on 24 December 2010.

The Mother put Kirankumari in charge of cleaning and repairing stoves and water-filters. Kirankumari regularly reported to the Mother about her work, mentioning any problems that arose; the Mother’s words of advice and solace form the basis of this correspondence. Kirankumari always ended her reports, “Your daughter, Kirankumari”, and the Mother always wrote, even when she made no comment on a report, “Love and blessings to my dear child”. Entirely in English, the correspondence covers the period from 1938 to 1942.

My loving Mother,

The boy who helps me keeps his clothes in the stove room. It is a very dirty room and there is not much place for the clothes. Can he keep them in the kerosene oil room? U keeps oil there for the Golconde machines. He has no objection.

Yes, it can be done, but you must see that the boy does not take any kerosene away.

Mother, I am very happy with all the works. All my love and gratefulness to you.

Your daughter, Kirankumari

Love and blessings to my dear child

28 November 1938

*

My sweet Mother,

R asked for one new wind-shield for his stove. His old one was spoilt, but not very much. Still, my assistant M gave him a new wind-shield. I said to him, “Ask Mother first”, but he did not ask. Why, Mother?

Yes, it is always better to ask me first.

Love and blessings to my dear child

22 December 1938

*

My loving Mother,

I am again feeling sorry today. I don’t like it but I become sorry. People speak to me and I get angry with them. But Mother, I do not wish to be angry. I feel very sorry afterwards. You must make me very strong, Mother. I cannot control myself, so I become like that.

To do good work regularly you must learn to control yourself and not allow all these moods to overcome you. To do good work you must think only of the work and not of yourself.

Love and blessings to my dear child

23 December 1938

*

My loving Mother,

My left hand is a little burnt. I was heating milk and it spilled on my hand. I washed my hand with water, then put some spirit on it. But when M came, he scolded me. He said putting dirty spirit on my hand is bad. He brought a medicine from the dispensary, a yellow-like oil; it is picric acid. M put it on my hand. It is better now.

You must never put water on a burn and spirit also is bad. I am sending you a medicine which you can keep in the stove room and if ever you get a little burnt you must apply it immediately without putting water.

Love and blessings to my dear child

23 January 1939

*

My loving Mother,

Today is our cleaning day, so we have cleaned everything. Mother, there is no bird now in the cage; some other things are there in the cage. In the store room is a bag of corn. It is all near the boiler room. To whom shall we give these things?

There is no hurry to give these things away. Some grains can be put in the cage as I see birds entering there for food.

Love and blessings to my dear child

30 January 1939

*

My loving Mother,

M said he likes to take a certain boy for machine works. He is a big boy. But it is not necessary for us to keep this boy for stoves. If I get a very small boy, I shall teach him to work with me.

Yes, a young boy will be sent to you. You can try for some time and see if he is able to learn.

Love and blessings to my dear child

1 February 1939

*

Mother,

Am I not a little strong now? You make me strong and conscious and sincere for your work. My Sweet Mother, all my love and gratefulness to you.

Surely you are becoming stronger.

Love and blessings to my dear child

3 February 1939

*

Mother,

I sometimes feel my stomach burning. Some days it burns much. Before when this trouble was there, I wrote to you and it was all right. But now again it is happening. I do not understand it, Mother.

Probably you are not eating enough at mealtime.

Love and blessings to my dear child

10 February 1939

*

O my sweet, sweet Mother,

In the afternoon, Mother, I felt very sorry. Were you displeased with me? I could not understand. I could not go for work. I very much wished to go, but, Mother, I could not get up from bed.

I was not displeased but I do not want you to get upset by what people say, and I disapprove of quarrels. I do not want to hear about them. I hope you will be quite well by tomorrow.

Love and blessings to my dear child

13 March 1939

*

Mother,

Why is one harmonium in our place? A sent it with a chit saying to repair it. But, Mother, our room is no place to keep it. M said, “Keep it and learn music.” But we do not know why it was sent here.

You can send it back saying that you do not know how to repair it.

Love and blessings to my dear child

24 March 1939

*

Mother,

I forgot to ask you if you have tasted my pickles?

Not yet because you said to keep them several days.

Papaya you can eat now and also the salt mango and sweet.

I will taste them tomorrow.

20 April 1939

*

Mother,

I am well and I am glad for all your flowers. If you took my pickles, Mother, you will tell me how it is.

I tasted the papaya pickles — it is very good.

21 April 1939

*

Mother,

I am much better by your blessings and I have worked all day. But today I did not go for Electrolux. I don’t like to walk much. And M told me that women on earth are puny. I am very sorry, Mother. Why does he speak like this? In all other things he is very good. He helps us much. But sometimes he tells like that and I become very sorry.

Why do you mind? You have only not to listen.

Love and blessings to my dear child

3 May 1939

*

Mother,

Today P came to me with a hand-fan border to stitch. It is for Sri Aurobindo, she said. B did not give her a machine to do the work, so I stitched it for her, Mother.

You did well.

Love and blessings to my dear child

20 June 1939

*

Mother,

A came to give me a chair and told me to make a cushion for it. I was not careful — I made a burn-mark on the chair. Now I must be careful. All people now know, Mother, that I have burnt the chair. In the road many people asked me. I was very ashamed. I am well now, but I am also very sorry. Mother, you make me very careful and conscious.

You need not be sorry but you must be careful.

Love and blessing to my dear child

23 June 1939

*

Mother,

H said he knows one small girl who is 12 or 13 years old, a very good girl who can do work with us, if you give permission. But Mother, this girl may be too big. If I get a very small girl, it will be good.

We cannot take servants younger than 12 years old.

Love and blessings to my dear child

26 June 1939

*

My Mother,

I am feeling ashamed to bother you. I shall not write you much. Only I would like to know if I have done anything which you do not like. It will be a very easy and happy thing for me if you tell me my action which you do not approve. I am very, very unhappy; there is something that is not going well and it is making me more and more unhappy. I fear I may go mad. I mean I have come with a very bad fate.

My dear child,

I am very sorry to hear that you are so very unhappy, but, in truth, I see no reason why you could feel like that. You have done nothing wrong as far as I know and I am not at all displeased with you; on the contrary I have appreciated all the trouble you have taken and all the work you have done and are still doing since C has been unwell. To be unhappy like that you must be sheltering in yourself one out of two undesirable things, or even the two things together. The first one is jealousy, the second is an unsatisfied desire. Anyhow I hope you will soon get over it.

With my love and blessings

2 July 1939

*

Mother,

I am well by your grace and blessings. But every day something comes to disturb me. It always comes from something of U. I do not want to care about it at all, Mother, but I am not successful. I feel sorry. But your help is always with me. Mother, make this part of me strong.

Yes, you must learn not to mind all these small things.

Love and blessings to my dear child

17 July 1939

*

Mother,

I am a little stronger everyday — my whole day is quiet and I try to remember you always. Every day some bad things come, but, Mother, I am always in your protection. I am learning now not to mind these bad things.

Very good; they must not affect you at all.

My love and blessings to my dear child

18 July 1939

*

My loving Mother,

You are not giving me anything to type. Give me when there is something.

Yes. You can prepare for me the names of all the women of the ashram, each name on one small chit (it is to pin on the sarees I shall give). You can ask from Nolini or Amrita the list of the women now living in the ashram — about 50 or 52. I need these names tomorrow at 2.30 when I see you.

My love and blessings to my dear child

2 August 1939

*

My loving Mother,

Today I cleaned N’s Electrolux refrigerator. She says that Mother once came and said, “Don’t leave the door open” and M also said, “It is not good to keep the door open.” I said, “I have come to clean it. There is much frost inside not yet melted, so I have to open the door.” Then N said, “Don’t take out the fruits.” But, Mother, there was some very bad smell inside — an onion smell or some other thing. I got a headache while cleaning. I was washing the cabinet with soap, but N came again and said, “Do not use soap, use soda.” She did not allow soap. What all this is, Mother, I cannot understand.

It is better to do as she likes because the électrolux is for her own use after all…

I am quite well by your sweet blessings, Mother, but M tells many bad things. I do not go to her for Prasad, so she is very angry with me. I do not care.

Do not mind what she says; it does not matter at all.

My love and blessings to my dear child

12 August 1939

*

My loving Mother,

I am very glad, Mother, if you will give me something to type.

I am sending you one page of which you will make 3 copies — taking care not to make mistakes and to type very neatly.

My love and blessings to my dear child

26 August 1939

*

Mother,

You do not give me any other things to type. Mother, give me.

When I shall have something to type I will give it to you.

My love and blessings to my dear child

5 September 1939

*

Mother,

N goes out of the house after meditation in the evening on many days. She returns after 9 o’clock — sometimes after 10 when there is music at D’s house. So the big gate door is not closed. I sleep at 9 o’clock — some days at 8.30. But my room is very hot so I keep my door open. My room door is just near the big door. Is this safe, Mother?

It might be better to keep your door closed until N comes back.

My love and blessings to my dear child

8 September 1939

*

Mother,

I am very sorry because I displeased you. I do not understand all things. I do not want anybody’s help; I only want your help. You make me free from this trouble. I want to do works for you quietly, Mother.

I want you strong and quiet and for that you must not let yourself be troubled by anybody’s behaviour towards you.

My love and blessings to my dear child

3 October 1939

*

Mother,

I saw a bad dream last night. Three ladies dead in the Ashram — S, K and another I do not know. I pray, Mother, that such bad things I may not see again. And you give protection to all of them, Mother. Do not be displeased with me for this. I did not wish to see such bad dreams.

Do not worry; dreams are not always true.

My love and blessings to my dear child

10 November 1939

*

Mother,

Some days I saw in dream my dead mother. It was quite bad, Mother. I did not like it. Yesterday also I saw that I was quarreling with her. She said something and I did not like it. Two years ago I saw my dead aunt in a dream like this. I told you about it, Mother, and by your Grace I did not see her again. For this dream also I am telling you. I have no connection with them, Mother, and she is dead, so I shall not see her any more, Mother.

Yes, this kind of dream must stop.

My love and blessings to my dear child

17 November 1939

*

Mother,

P told me to clean his typewriter. Yesterday I did not clean it. Some days ago I cleaned it — not yet one month ago, Mother. Shall I clean it again so soon?

He is working much upon it, so it may require cleaning more often.

My love and blessings to my dear child

18 December 1939

*

My loving Mother,

I am very happy by your sweet blessings, my Mother, and by your Grace. Make me completely yours; I am yours, my Mother. You are not giving me anything to type nowadays. Mother, give me.

When there is something I will not forget you.

My love and blessings to my dear child

29 December 1939

*

My loving Mother,

I have put a new typewriter ribbon in A’s machine. B and I worked on it. It gave some trouble — at first the ribbon was not moving well. Mother, there are two ribbon wheels on each machine — on each is written RIGHT or LEFT. But with this machine the two wheels are RIGHT. No LEFT wheel. M said I have made a mistake. But no, Mother, I have not changed anything. Before I did this machine, many people were touching it. The market man repaired this machine. This is two or three months ago. Yet always M has a habit of telling me I make a mistake.

Do not mind it!

My love and blessings to my dear child

2 January 1940

*

My sweet Mother,

I had a very strange dream. It was a pranam day. All the sadhaks were in the meditation hall and one by one they were doing pranam — but not to you, Mother; one lady was sitting in your place. I was quite surprised. P was there. I asked him to whom are they doing pranam? She is a queen of some place, he said, and Mother told us to do pranam to her, so we should. But I did not like it, so I did not do pranam to her. Many people told me to do it, but I did not. They were very displeased with me.

I looked once more at that queen. She was laughing very much when people were making pranam, but it was not like when you smile, Mother. She laughed just like people laugh. Also she was blessing, but it was not like your blessing. When all finished doing pranam, I saw you, Mother. You were standing a little far away and you were smiling, not telling anything to anybody. After that, the lady got up and outside one car came and she went away in that car.

Has it any meaning Mother?

You did quite well to refuse to do pranam to this person.

My love and blessings to my dear child

5 February 1940

*

Mother,

I have felt very weak now for some time, but I have no sick trouble. My health is very good by your blessings. I get headache sometimes. And some days, Mother, when I take rest, I find something coming upon me from the head side. I cannot get up then and I feel very afraid. I begin to call you for five or ten minutes; then slowly I can get up.

Why do you get frightened? You must not fear but keep quiet and call me, everything will be all right.

My love and blessings to my dear child

11 April 1940

*

Mother,

Since it is war time, to save you expense, S can come to live with me. She and I can live upstairs, A can live downstairs. I told S about this; she was very pleased. Now if you tell A, we can arrange it. Our front room is very good, Mother, so we are thinking like this. It is good, Mother? We shall try to use very less. We will not take many things from the Stores.

It is very good, I approve of the idea. But if A comes in the front room where will you do the stove work?

I shall speak of your proposal tomorrow when I see you.

My love and blessings to my dear child

19 June 1940

*

Mother,

S is asking when she can come to my room? For her no repair work on the room is necessary. She does not need all the furniture from her room — only the almirah and one box of clothes. A big cot is not necessary; if there is a small canvas cot, it is sufficient.

She can move whenever she wants but must inform Amrita first and speak to H about the cot.

My love and blessings to my dear child

20 June 1940

*

If somebody throws anything in your house (litter or flowers, etc.), simply pick it up and throw it back into the street through the window, without even looking at the thing.

My love and blessings

24 June 1940

*

My sweet Mother,

I do not want the servant girl for work at all. If you make it a rule, Mother, people can bring their stove themselves to us and take it back. We shall keep the stove ready, clean and polished. What is needed we shall do, Mother.

We have now stopped giving clothes to a dhobi — we wash them ourselves. Also we do the house-cleaning. We are three people now, Mother, we shall do all this very happily. Mother, you accept my offering; it is not necessary to send this girl.

The girl can be stopped, but I do not find it would be good if everybody came to your house with the stoves; you would be constantly disturbed. I will have the stoves brought here in the garage where you repair the type-writers and from here some arrangement will be made to take them to your place and back here after repair.

My love and blessings

3 July 1940

*

Mother,

A was telling that she will ask for a servant for half an hour to wash her clothes. She is not very strong. But we can do her works, Mother. All the time she was not well, we washed her clothes. But she does not like this solution. Is a servant for her good, Mother? Our inconvenience will be if the servant comes when we are not at home; a servant coming I do not like at all. If you permit, Mother, we shall manage things ourselves.

You cannot go on washing her clothes but I have said that she must send her clothes to the Laundry for washing, because a servant in the house would be very inconvenient.

My love and blessings to my dear child

5 August 1940

*

Mother,

This brush I am keeping for you. I took it from the Stores this month. I took it to the workshop to use there, but M saw it and scolded me very much. “Why you took it? Take another ordinary brush, etc.” Mother, the nail brush we use often for stove work; grease and oil and black dirty things are on it. Our old one is spoilt. Two years ago M first showed us how to use it in U’s house. Now he is scolding us. I did not ask for a good brush; I asked only for a brush. But I will try to manage without the brush, Mother. I do not need it; I am giving it back.

I am returning the brush to you; you must keep it and use it. Why do you listen to what people tell you?

My love and blessings to my dear child

3 December 1940

*

My sweet Mother,

I am quite well by your sweet blessings and your sweet grace. Make me yours. Make my progress quicker, my Mother. I feel that I am not progressing at all now. My Mother, make myself absolutely open to you, so that I can become one with you. My Mother, time to time I feel very much depression and that I am not making progress. My Mother, make me your child.

What is all this nonsense! Do not worry about that. Everything is going on all right.

With my love and blessings to my dear child

16 December 1940

*

Mother,

I do not know what has happened to my body these last two days. It is bothering me. On Monday I could not eat sufficiently as my mouth burnt. Today I was feeling cold and feverish, but that is gone. But, Mother, there is a pain like a little needle pricking in my stomach all day. I have many works to do, but some I could not do. The type-writer work is not done today. I do not like to bother you, Mother, always telling you that I am not well. I felt very much ashamed so I did not tell you. But it is increasing more and more, so I am writing now, Mother. Tomorrow I must be very, very well by your sweet grace and blessings.

Take a big cup of hot milk, it will do you some good.

My love and blessings to my dear child

5 March 1941

*

Mother,

Tomorrow shall we clean the Ashram filter?

Yes — be careful about the candles and see carefully that they are not broken.

My love and blessings to my dear child

7 September 1942

Series Five
Correspondence with Jagannath

Jagannath Vedalankar’s date of birth is not known. He joined the Ashram on 10 October 1945. At first the Mother sent him to work at the newly founded Ashram Press. Later, he taught Sanskrit in the Ashram school for many years. He lived in the Ashram for fifty-one years, passing away in January 1997.

Jagannath’s correspondence with the Mother, entirely in English, deals mainly with his work at the Ashram Press between 1946 and 1950. There are also several letters of 1947 regarding help to his brother at the time of the partition of India.

Gracious Mother,

In my absences during working hours, who should keep the key of the Press keyboard? I consulted Mr. Pillai about it and he said that everywhere it is the gatekeeper’s duty to keep keys. If you approve of it, I shall hand over the key to the gatekeeper whenever I have to go out during working hours.

Yes — I only hope he is a reliable man.

Blessings

10 December 1946

*

Gracious Mother,

Dr. Indra Sen has agreed to keep the key of the Press keyboard with himself in my absence from the Press. It will be safer.

I am busy preparing the manuscript for the February issue of Aditi, which is expected on or about the first January. There is an offer from D to help me. He also helps R in driving the tiffin-carriers’ cart. He wants to devote his spare time to preparing fair copies of the articles so that the Hindi section has no difficulty composing them. Can his help be accepted?

Yes, provided he does not give up the other work in order to do this one.

Blessings

12 December 1946

*

Divine Mother,

Aditya can be a useful hand for Aditi work because he is competent in Sanskrit and Hindi. He will joyfully spare some time for it with your blessing and sanction.

He is fully busy in the Granary and I wonder how he could find time to do some other work. But I shall see what he says about it.

Blessings

26 December 1946

*

Gracious Mother,

Almost every night, before going to bed, I utter in my heart, “O Mother, the duty of keeping the Press in the night is offered to Thee. Thou doest it. Thou alone canst do it. Make me a worthy vehicle for it.”

Is it right, or is there anything ignorant in it?

It is all right.

You were to make an inquiry regarding the supply of filtered water for the Press. Although we are getting one pitcher of water from Cycle House, we also want a part of our requirement from the Dining Room, especially because it is nearer to our premises and the servant who carries the pitcher on his head feels more trouble to bring it from a farther distance. Is it possible to get at least three litres of water from there?

I have made an inquiry and have found out that the D.R. filter is not giving enough water for the D.R. There is only one solution to the problem. I am ordering two big filters, one for Aroumé [the Dining Room], the other one for the Press.

Blessings

11 January 1947

*

Divine Mother,

Today I am writing to you a few lines about an externality of life. Often I have been careless about dressing my hair. The main motive behind has always been that it is a sheer waste of time and energy which can be spent for a higher pursuit. There have also intervened periods when I was impelled by some other motives, superior or inferior, and either I became excessively careful and attentive to the dressing of my hair or else I became more inattentive to it.

But now something in me wants that I should take the right yogic attitude even in this matter. What is true and good for me — to let my hair grow freely and keep it in a beautiful way, or get it cut from time to time and also remain clean-shaved? Especially, what attitude should I keep about this externality of life?

Generally the motive behind all neglect of the body is a tamasic laziness. The right attitude is not to give an undue attention to these externalities, but at the same time to take all necessary care for the body to remain fit and strong. Moreover external untidiness is always the expression and symbol of some inner confusion and lack of organisation, mental or vital.

With my love and blessings

15 January 1947

*

Divine Mother,

X wants the handbills advertising his books to be enclosed in the copies of Aditi and thus sent to all subscribers of Aditi. If you approve of it, we shall send the handbills along with the April issue. The handbills I am enclosing are samples for you to see.

Are you in the habit of putting handbills in Aditi? Otherwise I do not see why you should begin with these.

My love and blessings

27 February 1947

*

Divine Mother,

You did not reply about my request for furniture. Shall I remind R about the supply of the sanctioned furniture?

I did not reply because your furniture has not been forgotten but your need is one among so many others that have also to be attended to.

My love and blessings

5 March 1947

*

Divine Mother,

The postman who delivers posted articles to the Ashram Press says to me now and again, “I bring very heavy parcels of type for the Press, I deliver so many money orders to the Aditi office, but you do not give me any remuneration or gratification, whereas the postman who delivers postal articles in the Ashram gets two rupees per month from the Ashram.”

I know that as a rule the postmen are strictly forbidden to accept any fee or gratification from the addressees or payees, so I reply to him accordingly. But he has requested me to write to you, so I have conveyed his request to you.

He can be given something as a tip, not as a fee.

My love and blessings

11 March 1947

*

Divine Mother,

Since riots and disturbances have begun in the Punjab, my waking consciousness has been lowered down and sunk into the mire of attachment for my relatives who are suffering in their native place. When my mind is at rest, various thoughts come to it over and over again: “Oh, they have fallen on evil days!” “What would be their condition?” etc. etc.

How should I deal with these obsessing thoughts? How to overcome this strong attachment which I thought I had got rid of, but which has surprisingly attacked me and shaken my pride to its foundations?

Always circumstances come to reveal the hidden weaknesses that have to be overcome.

My love and blessings

20 March 1947

*

Divine Mother,

Several times during the last few days I have seen the taps of latrines and wash basins at the Press fully open with water flowing out of them. Sadhaks as well as workmen, when they turn on taps for water and do not find water coming out, do not turn them off. Thus when there is some storage of water in the reservoir tanks, the water goes on flowing. That is why the scarcity of water has been badly felt for the last week or so. What should be done to recover the normal condition?

Put up notices in English and in Tamil: “Please close the tap.”

My love and blessings

29 March 1947

*

Divine Mother,

A sannyasi has placed an order for two books asking for a 50% concession in price. Can he be granted the concession?

NO.

My love and blessings

16 April 1947

*

Divine Mother,

I want my meals in a brass carrier if possible, especially because I have no arrangement in my room to keep the carrier out of the reach of ants.

If you have a small basin, fill it with water, put in the centre a cement block and on the cement block place the tiffin carrier; it will be saved from ants.

14 May 1947

*

Divine Mother,

Today I have fallen victim to a new physical disease — piles. I want to prevent this disease at its very outset. As far as I can see, it has been caused by the constipation that I have had for the last two years.

At any rate, I want to sort out this new disease of piles in embryo. What should I do as a preventive measure for this?

Sit in cold water for 15 minutes daily.

5 July 1947

*

Divine Mother,

My elder brother, who lives in the Pakistan area of the Punjab and is a rich man, asks me: “Should I continue to live in the Pakistan area or migrate from it and become an inhabitant in the Hindustan area? I am at a loss what to do. No one in our area has migrated as yet, though many intend to do so. But having no favourable conditions to migrate, people are still not moving from their native place. Advise me as to what I should do.”

What reply should I give him?

All depends on his character. If he likes adventures he can stay; if he wants safety it is better to migrate.

My love and blessings

8 July 1947

*

Divine Mother,

Today J of the Garden Service has supplied eleven plants for the Press grounds and they have been properly planted in his presence. He says that there will be a lining of bricks all along the ditches that have plants inside, for their safety.

Generally it is done with broken tiles (which can be secured from Parc à Chabon) and laid by a gardener, not a mason.

25 September 1947

*

Divine Mother,

My elder brother, who lives in the Pakistan part of the Punjab, writes to me in a letter received today: “Our native village has been looted and captured by Moslems. All Hindus there have fled away and taken refuge in a big town in Pakistan. My family is also there. But still, as refugees in Pakistan, we are always in danger of being attacked by Moslems. I am at a loss what to do and how to save myself and my family. Guide my steps at this critical moment.”

What should I reply to him?

To keep faith and he will receive the right inspiration.

30 September 1947

*

Divine Mother,

Today you remarked, “The courtyard looks shabby.” What is to be done to make it neat and decent?

You have arranged the courtyard as well as it can be under the present conditions. Nothing short of repaving it entirely could remove the shabby appearance. But it would be a too big and costly work to be undertaken now.

October 1947

*

Gracious Mother,

Due to the influence of the communist union leaders, there is a difficulty as regards to cleanliness at the Press. I find that the workmen are now unwilling to act upon the orders that are given to them.

What should be done to remove this indiscipline?

It seems that there is not much chance to obtain discipline from them as indiscipline is part of the communist programme.

My elder brother writes to me: “The communal situation of our village [in Pakistan] seems to go from bad to worse. A great calamity is imminent upon the Hindu inhabitants of the village. We are all struck with a great panic. What should we do?

“It would be very good if you come to your native place and take my family with you to Pondicherry or somewhere else, say Hardwar (U.P.) or Guru-Kula Kangri or some other Hindu majority province. Wire us about the arrangement you make for us. At least I want to make my wife and children safe by sending them to a safer place. Will you come and take my family to Pondicherry, or, if we have to come to you, will you advise us about this journey to South India?”

What should I reply to my brother? How far am I concerned in the matter? Solely wedded to the Divine as I am and ever aspire to remain, what action should I do to express my inner attitude?

The difficulty is that if we admit people here in order to save them from communal trouble, we will soon have the whole of the Hindu community and surely Pondicherry is not big enough to hold it.

I agree that your duty towards the Divine goes before and above any other so-called duty. But if out of good heart and compassion you can, by writing a few letters, find some safer place for them elsewhere, there is no objection to your doing so.

My love and blessings

End 1947

*

(Jagannath wrote letters on behalf of his brother’s family and arranged for them to come to India. They arrived on 2 January 1948, completely destitute. Jagannath reported their plight to the Mother and asked, “In what way can I be of help to them in their critical condition?” She replied:)

Don’t you know somebody in the place where they have reached or near about who could give them some assistance?

My love and blessings

January 1948

*

Mother,

I thought of R or K to help us in gatekeeping at the Press. Both of them have sufficient time to spare for it, but when I spoke to them about it they did not show any willingness at all.

Yes, they are very lazy.

My love and blessings

15 March 1948

*

Gracious Mother,

This afternoon during working hours an act of theft was reported to have been committed by a compositor. He was seen passing out some types and a composing stick through the bars of a high ventilator in the latrines to someone standing on the street side. Some other workmen also saw him commit this act. But the man does not confess to it.

What should be done in this case?

He must be put strictly under observation, and if caught red-handed he will be sent away at once.

My love and blessings

18 March 1948

*

Gracious Mother,

Out of articles of food that we get from the D.R., is one more suitable than another for a patient with piles? Out of rice and bread, milk and curds, pulse and vegetables, is it necessary to take one exclusively, discarding the others as disagreeable to health?

The diet has not much effect, but it is very important not to be constipated. You might take from dispensary some liquid paraffin which would help.

29 March 1948

*

Gracious Mother,

An ex-servant of the Press has again applied today for a compositor’s job. I thought it necessary to inform you that he is a very staunch communist and that he proved to be a very mischievous fellow when he formerly worked in our press. His application is under consideration with N. The matter of the servant’s behaviour must be taken into consideration, lest he should be carelessly readmitted and prove a source of trouble.

He must not be taken back. Show this to N.

24 May 1948

*

Gracious Mother,

My friend B is helping me in the gatekeeping work regularly. I also want to take his help in keyboarding for Aditi and other Hindi publications. Once I got your approval for it, but R did not like it, so he could not be trained. Now as the work on the August issue of Aditi is soon to begin, I want B to be trained and become helpful. Your sanction is required.

First I must know, trained by whom? By training a machine often gets damaged and this must be done only under a very experienced supervisor.

Love and blessings

31 May 1948

*

Gracious Mother,

Unhappily and unfortunately there has arisen a conflict between Dr. S and myself. I feel as if he had shaken my vital and mental ego to their very foundations. But that would not have mattered much if he had not hurt the right feelings of my heart and mind. I have convinced him that he has suppressed my good feelings simply by hooting at me. As a result I cannot see eye to eye with him nor he with me.

Mentally burdened as I feel due to this discord and conflict, I implore to you to establish again a peaceful concord and harmony between us.

Surely harmony must be restored, and the first step is to quickly forget the cause of the disharmony.

Love and blessings

3 June 1948

*

Gracious Mother,

I entrust my well-being to you with a child’s confidence. Take care of my health and keep me ever strong and fit and energetic for your work. I aspire for the fullest faith in your Grace, which alone can save me from all inner and outer diseases.

R will give you some fruits to help for curing piles.

Love and blessings

16 June 1948

*

Gracious Mother,

Some time back, one of the workmen broke the asbestos door of their latrines. I showed the broken pieces to the president of their union and requested him to detect the mischievous worker. But nothing could be done by our enquiries.

Today again a part of another door is found to be broken as well as a part of the brick wall of the workmen’s latrines. But the mischievous hand is not known, and as such acts are committed secretly, it is not easy to catch the mischievous fellow red-handed.

What step should we take to stop such mischief?

It can be announced that if such depredations continue without the culprit being found out all the workmen will be held responsible. The president must be informed of this.

Love and blessings

15 July 1948

*

Gracious Mother,

My maternal cousin, a devotee of Krishna, who stirred in my heart the feeling of lovingly sweet devotion, writes to me, “We, the Hindus of the west Punjab, have committed innumerable sins and have therefore been driven out from our native places and made destitute of all our belongings. Mysterious is the turn of fate. Our Karma has compelled us to part with our relatives who are all individually striving for their new homes and hearths in the Hindusthani part of Punjab.

“Will the wheels of fortune turn? Shall we have an opportunity to go back to our native homes and live there amicably with our Muslim neighbours?”

What shall I reply to him?

Hope is a big virtue and has to be kept in spite of all appearances.

With my love and blessings

23 September 1948

*

Gracious Mother,

The postman delivering post to the Press is allowed freely to enter into each and every section. But there, apart from his work, he has free talks with workmen in Tamil. In these days of elections, he has been engaged in talks with them which may prove to be noxious and mischievous.

It seems to be desirable not to allow him inside the Press, but rather to call the persons receiving postal articles to the gate and let them take the delivery of the articles there.

This is the correct way.

Something needs to be done to avoid the indulgence of the postman in random talks.

The arrangement of delivery at the gate must be enforced at once except for the post for B which can be given at the door of his office.

Love and blessings

23 October 1948

*

Gracious Mother,

A few days back, when the judge of the local high court visited the Press in connection with the enquiries regarding a Press workman already taken into custody, we had to disturb M, who was resting in the room meant for visitors. Only then could Dr. S entertain the judge there and supply him with the necessary information.

I want to know whether some change in the use of the room needs to be enforced.

The room is meant for visitors. Those who occupy it will do so at their own risk; that is, they must be ready to pack off and leave the place clean and neat at a minute’s notice (this can be communicated to them).

Love and blessings

November 1948

*

Gracious Mother,

(1) The gate area is still open to rain and showers. It needs to be covered as soon as possible.

(2) The shed above the Aditi office drips profusely due to cracks in asbestos sheets. It requires urgent repair.

Will you speak to K to see to these works?

Yes, but nothing can be done so long as it rains.

My love and blessings

16 November 1948

*

Gracious Mother,

A subscriber of Aditi wants to organise a Sri Aurobindo centre in his native village, Isharapur, in U.P. He writes thus: “Kindly ask the Mother if I can be allowed to conduct a centre for Sri Aurobindo’s work.”

Yes.

“I want to disseminate the teachings of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. And if the Mother permits, what activities does she approve of for the fulfilment of the mission? Will it be improper in any way if I resign from the Congress in order to devote my time for Sri Aurobindo’s work?”

It is not necessary to resign.

27 December 1948

*

Gracious Mother,

I do 15 minutes of running and about 11/2 hours of walking exercise daily, and I am thus maintaining my health and strength by your Grace. I want to know whether I should join the P.E.D. games for exercise or continue my private programme of exercise.

You can continue your present programme.

5 March 1949

*

Gracious Mother,

The man who has opened a Sri Aurobindo Centre in his native place in U.P., is in great difficulty these days. There has been a riot among two parties of Zamindars. Somehow he has been involved in the criminal case bearing on the riot. He writes: “By the Grace of God and Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, the report of the police and the medical man are in my favour and I will probably pass through it safely. But my mind is not at rest. Convey my respectful salutations to the Mother. By her divine advice alone I can get patience and peace. Write to me Mother’s advice under the circumstances.”

What shall I reply to him?

“To keep faith in the Divine Grace and not to worry.”

My love and blessings

22 March 1949

*

Gracious Mother,

The head compositor of the English Section has requested me many times to try to give some job to his unemployed Hindi-knowing friend S. Each time I have refused, saying that there are already too many workers in our Press and it is not possible to employ any new hand. I advised him to find some other job for his friend.

Now, S simply wants to learn the job of Hindi composing so that he may become able to earn his livelihood by doing this job in some other Press. There is a very great demand for Hindi compositors in Madras. He looks forward to you to grant him an opportunity to learn the job.

Is it possible to give this boy an opportunity?

It seems to me a strange proposal to take the trouble to teach this boy, for him to go afterwards and use elsewhere the knowledge acquired.

My love and blessings

9 April 1949

*

Divine Mother,

This evening a workman in the machine section was caught red-handed with a packet of washing soda which he had hidden in his cloth bag; it was detected at the time of search. This man stole it from the machine section where it was stocked in a small quantity for daily use.

What action is to be taken so that such acts of stealing may be stopped?

You can give him a strong scolding and tell him that if he does it again he will be sent away.

Blessings

3 August 1949

*

Gracious Mother,

Some workman at our Press has pasted a hand-written notice on the wall of the workmen’s latrines. The notice runs thus:

“We must have three months’ bonus.

We must have 15 rupees dearness allowance.”

This notice is motivated by the workmen of Rhodyard Mills. Yesterday evening at five, one of the Mills’ workmen distributed a printed notice among our workmen just when they went out of the Press. The printed notice propagated similar demands on behalf of the labourers of the Mills.

This is just for your information and to seek your guidance in the matter, if necessary.

The best is to take no notice of such demands. These people will never be satisfied: the more we give, the more they ask.

My love and blessings

21 September 1949

*

Gracious Mother,

One of your devotees wants your blessings and some consoling words about the sorrowful condition he has described in his letter.

You can send him blessings and tell him that it is not the circumstances that make us happy or sorry but the way in which the mind looks at them. If he corrects his way of thinking the sorrow will go.

My love and blessings

27 September 1949

*

Gracious Mother,

To make the Hindi composing section free from dependence on paid workers, it comes to my mind that we should train two more sadhaks for this work. Then the Hindi composing section will no longer require any employed hands. R is willing to spare one man, P, who has been permitted by you to stay here till the November Darshan. Also there are other candidates working under R, out of whom it will not be difficult to spare someone or other to learn the job.

Do you approve of it?

This man is to go in November. Is it worth while teaching him the job for such a short time?

28 September 1949

*

Gracious Mother,

I hear C is asking for a paid Hindi compositor for his section. But recently he has been supplied two sadhaks and I think that employing a new compositor would mean keeping him idle or else keeping the sadhaks idle. In total there are at present five sadhaks, three full-time workers and two part-time workers — sufficient now for the work.

No intention of taking any new paid man.

Love and blessings

21 October 1949

*

Divine Mother,

I learn from Dr. S that the second warning to the Press gardener has not been heartily approved by you. I very much regret that somehow or other I have gone against your will by my ignorant insistence in the matter.

However, it was by no means my conscious intention to transgress your will. I would therefore like to withdraw the complaint against the gardener and aspire to turn my consciousness towards the light.

May I be purged of any ill-will against the workman! May I have full faith in his capacity to improve and become an admirable worker!

The warning has not yet been served to him and your sanction is required if it is to be cancelled.

Aspiring for the right consciousness.

I did not disapprove of the warning but of its wording. My remark was that a third warning was to be served before he is actually sent away — that is all.

With my blessings

2 August 1950

UNDATED PIECES

Gracious Mother

Since the workman N was dismissed from the Press, rowdies have been harassing our workmen. Today our workmen did not take courage to enter the premises till the rowdies left the place and dispersed themselves. A similar scene occurred this evening after five. When our workmen left the premises, the same group of rowdies were taking part in it. The discharged hand, N, was also present. The rowdies have announced that they would continue their act for ten days or at least till N was taken back for work.

Let them do it. We shall see who gets tired of it first.

My love and blessings

*

Gracious Mother

A Tamil compositor was found taking out seven copies of a prayer in French, English and Tamil without a permit from his section head. The copies really belong to the Machine Department. The workman has no satisfactory explanation for his act which falls in the category of hiding and trying to take away others’ things without asking permission.

What is to be done in this case? I am enclosing the copies of the prayer.

Warn him a bit severely that his act is illegal, and you can add that in future if he wants something it is better and more simple to ask for it.

My love and blessings

*

Gracious Mother,

We need a better arrangement for the workmen to wash their hands before leaving the Press. P wants an immediate solution of the difficulty, since his bindery workmen are being harassed by R who for so long allowed each and everyone to use the taps near his machine room. What should be done?

It is all right for the moment.

P should not disturb the present arrangement unless B can make a better, more satisfying one.

Obviously some arrangement must be made for all the workmen to be able to wash after work.

Love and blessings

*

Gracious Mother.

Due to the cramped office space I find it very inconvenient and uncomfortable to carry out the office work smoothly and efficiently. Many times it happens that things get mixed up and jumbled up in a small corner of my room, so it takes a lot of my time to find them when required. This waste of time and energy in the present arrangement of things in a much congested place is not desirable for me. Especially when I see many urgent works lying before me and cannot afford to lose a minute, then these kinds of inconveniences and the consequent waste of time become all the more intolerable.

I hope that by your divine help all will go right at an opportune time.

This means what? What do you want? another room? some more furniture? I will see what I can do to satisfy you.

Blessings

*

Gracious Mother.

The desire to do translation work is deep-rooted in me. And how can I continue this work of translation when I aspire after the elimination of desire or preference for it? Is it good for me to discontinue this work so that I may become free from this particular desire?

No, it is not necessary to discontinue the work; the only thing necessary is to keep the aspiration to get rid of the preference.

With my love and blessings.

Series Six
Correspondence with Debou

Born on 7 January 1930, Debkumar Bhattacharya joined the Ashram on 15 August 1943 at the age of thirteen. Debou, as he was called, was one of the first students in a small school started by the Mother in December of that year. In 1949 he became a teacher of French in the school. Later, he studied homeopathy and around 1967 became a practising homeopathic doctor. For decades he treated members of the Ashram in this capacity. Debou lived in the Ashram for sixty-nine years, passing away on 29 July 2013.

Debou’s correspondence with the Mother covers the period from 1948 to 1968. In the early years she wrote several prayers for him and later wrote letters to help him understand and overcome his problems. The correspondence is largely in French and appears here in translation.

My dear mother,

If there were something like a mirror that could make me see whomever I called, I would be able to speak to you all the time.

It is very hard, isn’t it, Mother, to gain a friend as dear as the Divine? I have no one. That is why I recognise you as my supreme mother. I would like to be guided by you. I depend entirely on you and I count on your guidance in the minutest actions of my life. Without that, I am lost.

The mirror of your heart is the best you can find, because truly I am established there in your heart, always.

23 May 1948

*

Give me true consciousness and perfect consecration.

21 February 1949

*

“Sweet Mother, Your heart is my abode, Your heart is the reality of my being. In Your heart I am nestled and I have become Your heart.”

To Debou

With all my tenderness and my blessings

18 May 1949

*

Mahakali, my sweet Mother,

Grant that always I may be faithful to you; grant that my love for you may ever increase and my receptivity be so perfect that you can accomplish in me the total transformation.

21 October 1949

*

For Debou, a prayer

My sweet Mother,

Grant that I do not waste in a vain human relationship the splendour of the divine love that Your Grace is pouring out on me so generously.

24 October 1949

*

I belong to You for eternity. Grant that nothing in me has the power to contradict this absolute consecration.

24 November 1949

*

(1) Make me ever worthy of the Mother’s love.

(2) Grant that I may love the Mother with a true love, unselfish and unreserved.

(3) Give me the full realisation of my entire being.

(4) Grant that I may be a perfect servant of Your Work.

c. 1949

*

(Advice to Debou on what to tell his students on the first day of class)

My dear friends,

With the new school year, you have several new teachers and I am happy to be one of them.

You can be sure that I will do everything in my power to make my lessons always interesting and instructive. On your part, I am sure that you will do your best to be attentive and studious and collaborate with me in this common work, in order to learn a lot and make good progress.

5 December 1949

*

The lesson of the silk worm

The student expresses his surprise that the silk worm weaves his own prison. But the worm replies that he is crafting with joy the cocoon in which he will enclose himself, because it is inside the cocoon that the transformation to make him a butterfly will take place. This is a same effort that the student makes to develop and express what he has inside him. One could say that few things are as ugly as a caterpillar, but then few things are as beautiful as a butterfly. To change the unsightly silk worm into a beautiful blue butterfly, while remaining for a time imprisoned in a cocoon, would surely be worthwhile.

In the same way for the student, school is a cocoon in which he must enclose himself with joy — because thanks to it all the capacities latent in him can be developed and expressed fully and freely.

c. 1949

*

For Debou

Give me the courage to realise my true self despite all obstacles.

21 February 1950

*

To Debou, a prayer for the 15th of August 1950

“Lord, grant that in all sincerity I may say to our Mother: “I am Yours for eternity.”

August 1950

*

“Sweet Mother,” I said one day just as I was going out, “You will never leave me.” Right, Sweet Mother? You were holding my hand in yours and you said, “Never” with radiant eyes. “But,” you continued, “try not to misbehave.”

A thought wanted to come out, piercing my heart: “Ma, if your poor child misbehaves some day, you will leave him!”

No, that is not what I wanted to say; I wanted to say: “Do not take advantage of my promise never to leave you to slacken your effort and misbehave.”

4 January 1950

*

Prayer for 1951

“My sweet Mother,

Grant that your love may give me the patience, the endurance and the perseverance necessary to go through to the end of my effort and realise the unity of my consciousness with yours, forever.”

To Debou, with all my tenderness

15 May 1951

*

O divine Mother, sweet Mother,

Make of me the hero warrior I aspire to become, so that I may fight successfully the great battle of the future that is to be born against the past that seeks to endure, so that the new things may manifest and we be ready to receive them.

A prayer for Debou[1]

4 January 1952

*

Increase the inner repose; it must be there ever present, even in the midst of the greatest activity and so firm that nothing can have the power to shake it: then you will become a perfect instrument for the Manifestation.

25 March 1952

*

To win the victory, one must know how to wait with tireless endurance.

Patience is the key to the doors of success.

5 September 1954

*

Open yourself to the new world and with it you will grow towards the future.

4 January 1958

*

Debou, my dear child,

Your mantra is very beautiful.

After Panditji’s departure, when I have a little more time, I will call you one morning and ask you to recite it to me. No one else will be here and you will not risk being heard.

Be firm and regular in your meditation and I will always be with you to help you.

The results are certain.

With my tenderness and my blessings

8 May 1959

*

Debou, my dear child,

It is true that you are “my true son” and you will remain so always, even if sometimes, for some reason or other, your consciousness is veiled. So do not torment yourself, but take care never to forget the one true goal of life: union with the Divine. And whatever you do, you must do it without losing sight of this supreme goal.

My blessings are always with you.

22 March 1960

*

It is good, my child; I accept your gesture, but not the money. That is not quite what I wanted to say.

I merely wanted you to become more conscious of the need for a more complete consecration.

I have no objection to your buying a radio since you have saved up for that.

And I hope that while listening to it your aspiration will rise up more ardently towards the Divine Realisation.

With my blessings

*

Debou, my dear little child,

Not for a moment have I ceased to be with you, and I am surprised by the feeling you have about me. Are you quite sure about not letting anything or anyone come between you and me? And could this not be the reason for this illness which seems to have lasted for quite a long time?

Concentrate on me and you will see that my force has not left you.

With my tenderness and my blessings

2 January 1962

*

Debou, my dear child,

Why this depression? Whatever happens should only be an opportunity for some new progress, some new ascent, some new opening towards the glorious eternal goal that we envisage. I said nothing about what you call “the recent event” because I was hoping that you would stay out of this affair which has caused far more commotion than it deserved. In any case, all is well now and the best thing to do is not to think about it anymore.

It is not in one place or another that solitude can be found. It is by isolating oneself from those around one through concentration in the depths of one’s heart and through silence of the mind — there one finds that which is rich with the Divine Presence.

Nothing that can truly help has changed; that is to say, the Force and the Presence are always with you and you will feel them more and more as you become more concentrated on them.

Take heart, and let your faith and your aspiration sweep away all obstacles.

With my tenderness and my blessings

13 July 1962

*

Debou, my dear child,

I had been waiting for a letter from you for several days. Your thought has been coming to me with a sort of anxiety, as if you wanted to take a decision and you were not sure which way to go. My answer was always the same: “Do not forget the true goal of your life and let nothing come between you and me.”

Now your letter has come to clarify everything.

S seems to be satisfied with the idea of taking you to Rameshwaram. So you will go there to reply to Panditji’s questions. That is the time when you must keep your consciousness concentrated on me and not allow yourself to be influenced by other mental constructions, however attractive they may be.

The light and knowledge that Sri Aurobindo has given us infinitely surpasses all that has been taught previously. This must never be forgotten; and if you cling to me, you will get the necessary force and consciousness to resist any suggestions, expressed or otherwise.

I will see you for a short while before you leave.

With all my tenderness and my blessings

9 April 1963

*

Debou, my dear little child,

I was pleased to read your long letter, except that your body should not resist the action of the Force and give you trouble. It must become more plastic and receptive.

As for food, you can certainly take fish if it suits your system. No doubt it is your aunt who will prepare it.

The progress in the sadhana depends far more on the sincerity of your aspiration than on the food you eat, especially if it is taken because it is needed and not out of desire. It is the vibrations of egoistic desire and attachment that slow down the progress, and the control of these vibrations is of primary importance.

I trust that you will have the realisation of the Divine Consciousness in your present life, but naturally for this, that Realisation must be the principal and essential thing for you —your sole preoccupation.

My tenderness and my force will always be there to help you.

With my blessings

3 August 1963

*

Debou, my dear child,

I hope that your health is better now.

There was no contradiction, neither in my thought nor in my word. I know that your life is consecrated to the realisation of the Divine, but in the progressive universal movement this consecration must be constantly renewed in order to be always in accord with the evolution. It isn’t enough to say once and for all: “I belong to the Divine”; at every moment, one must give oneself to Him and surrender one’s will to His. Then the union becomes certain and effective.

With all my tenderness and my blessings

1 October 1963

*

Debou, my dear little child,

I was happy to receive your letter and to see that you were conscious of the beautiful experience that was given to you.

You must learn to be conscious of my presence in a very tangible way, so that you know I am always with you. However, if you feel the need to see me physically from time to time, it is not an impossible thing.

In any case, I am keeping a moment for you on 7th January for your birthday.

With all my tenderness and my blessings

13 December 1963

*

Debou, my dear little child,

We will try and find you someone suitable.

But to tell the truth, you cannot expect good work from a servant that you don’t supervise.

That is why I always prefer to do the work myself rather than leave it to a maid or a man-servant. My most luminous meditations have sometimes occurred while I was cooking or polishing the wood floor. But it is true that it was not for myself that I was cooking or polishing the floor in my room.

The moral of the story is that one should not attach too much importance to these material things and that one must keep smiling in all circumstances.

With my tenderness and my blessings

7 February 1964

*

Never be depressed, it is ingratitude, and when I scold you, take it as a sign of my love for you and a grace.

Your mama

1964

*

My dear Mama,

There is a rumour in the Ashram that You said: All the signs of Pralaya are apparent. Is it true?

I never said that.

The Greek and Egyptian Gods exist, but their sadhanas seem to be forgotten. Are these Gods realisable, then?

What exactly do you mean by “sadhana” in this case? Do you mean the discipline or process by which one can enter into relation with them? In that case the process is always the same, no matter what entity one wants to enter into relation with: faith and aspiration.

With my tenderness and blessings

Yesterday night, I had a lovely dream: I sat in front of a statue of Shiva, very sad, but absorbed. All of a sudden You appeared behind Shiva and You told me: You will have the realisation.

It is good.

23 July 1965

*

(The opening of this letter is missing. It ends:) For a long time, I have been under the impression that the Greek gods are superior to the Indian Gods. Is it only in their aesthetic expression?

Greek thought and art are far more materialistic, less spiritual than Hindu art and thought; that is why the modern mentality understands it better. But the future in its art and thought will totally surpass them and manifest a beauty and thought infinitely more integral, profound, rich and complete, in which spirit and matter will be united in perfect harmony.

Blessings

c. 1965

*

Sweet Mother,

I would like to ask You a few questions regarding the mantra You have given me.

1. Should one set a precise time for the Japa?

You can do it if you find that it helps you to be regular.

2. Should one do it without eating?

This has no importance.

3. You told me that I can do it sitting or walking. Does this mean that a fixed place is not important?

One must be able to repeat it constantly with concentration anywhere.

4. Should I continue at the same time the little fifteen-minute Japa of Panditji that I am also doing?

You can continue it if you feel no opposition. The aim is to establish the divine harmony so that no disorder, outer or inner, has the power to disturb you.

Tenderness and blessings

2 June 1967

*

Debou, my dear child,

Your letter certainly did not displease me, but it saddened me because my love has never left you and I have always wanted you to be happy, peaceful and satisfied in the spiritual light and integral progress.

It is not because of a lack of interest or affection that I am unable to see you often; it is solely for lack of time.

Your note asking me when I could see you arrived at a moment when all my time was taken, taken in advance from long before. I wanted to see you quietly one morning and that is why I did not reply to you at once.

But inwardly I am always with you and you ought to feel it. You tell me that you have received blows, but they are not from me — I have never given you any.

I had planned to wash my hair on Monday the 18th, and I had kept my morning for this; but I am giving this up most willingly and I will see you at 10.15 on the morning of Monday the 18th, to make you understand and feel that you can always count on me.

In the meantime, meditate on the message that I have enclosed with my letter.[2] It will help you to understand what has happened to you.

With all my tenderness and my blessings

14 December 1967

*

My dear child,

I have not forgotten anything. I was just surprised that you could be so unhappy when my love has never abandoned you — your heart should feel it and know it … But let us not speak further about this obstinate unhappiness because I want it to go away. Come on 6th January at 8.00 in the morning. We will not talk about your birthday, but about the possibilities of the future and I will wish you a happy new year for all the years to come.

With all my tenderness

31 December 1968

*

If you are truly surrendered to the Divine, in the right manner and totally, then at every moment you will be what you ought to be, you will do what you ought to do, you will know what you ought to know. But for that you need to have transcended all the limitations of the ego.

*

It is to the sincerity of your aspiration that the divine love answers spontaneously.

[1] This prayer is a variation of the Students’ Prayer given by the Mother for the inauguration of the Sri Aurobindo International University Centre on 6 January 1952. (The University Centre was later renamed Sri Aurobindo International Centre of Education.)

[2] This message is not available.

Series Seven
Correspondence with Madanlal

Born on 16 July 1916, Madanlal Himatsingka grew up in Calcutta, married and became a businessman there. He visited the Ashram first in 1953 and then joined it in 1959 at the age of forty-three. From the beginning, Madanlal was involved in financial work for the Ashram. Dedicated to the publication and distribution of the works of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, he founded the All India Press in 1969 and the VAK Bookshop in 1980. For the last two-and-a-half decades of his life, he spent much of his time raising funds for the construction of the Matrimandir in Auroville. He passed away on 30 July 2004 at the age of eighty-eight.

Madanlal’s correspondence covers the period from 1954 to 1973. It is entirely in English. The main topics are his personal life, his work and his spiritual effort. One senses in the correspondence both his desire to serve the Mother and his thirst for spiritual progress.

Ma,

There are many persons, groups and institutions in the West who feel that India is or will be the spiritual guru of the world; but we find that their knowledge of Indian spirituality is limited. Should we increase contact with these groups? Should we present them with books by Sri Aurobindo and you on a large scale? Which books would you recommend for foreign readers?

Books recommended:

Sri Aurobindo: The Ideal of Human Unity; The Human Cycle; The Life Divine; Essays on the Gita; Thoughts and Glimpses; The Superman; The Supramental Manifestation upon Earth.

The Mother: On Education; Words of Long Ago; Words of the Mother (containing Conversations with the Mother); The Four Austerities.

Bulletin of Physical Education.

Mother, is there any possibility for me to realise the Divine in this life?

All depends on the sincerity of the aspiration. If the aspiration is sincere and steady, you are sure to reach the goal in this life. When one thinks like this, as you are doing, usually it is because things are ready in him for the realisation.

With my blessings[1]

13 March 1954

*

Mother,

Who is the God Ganesh? I am told that you have written something about this God.

Mother, how to come in contact with Ganesh? Panditji[2] once gave me a Ganesh mantra and at times I repeat it regularly. First I say your name, Sri Aurobindo’s name and then this mantra, trying to remember you in my heart. My childlike feeling is that if Lord Ganesh manifests before me, he will make me capable of doing a lot of work for the Mother — giving me a lot of money for her. But I also feel that without the Mother’s Grace, he will not appear. Mother, how can I know him?

My dear child,

In answer to your question I shall say that each one must invoke Ganesh according to his own feeling — the traditional way is not necessarily the best.

I will tell you my own experience about him.

In 1930 we were having regular meditations in the Prosperity hall on the significance of flowers. At one of these meditations, quite unexpectedly, Ganesh appeared suddenly to my inner view. He was of golden light and surrounded by a very luminous golden aura. His form was the usual one as in his images.

It was the first time I ever saw him and I expressed some surprise over his sudden apparition.

Then he told me, “You see I am a living being quite real and concrete — and to give you a concrete proof of my reality I shall send to you henceforth all the money you will need.”

And on this promise he disappeared.

He kept his promise for years and the money was coming abundantly.

Then, in 1939, the Second World War started and everything got spoiled.

However, the true financial difficulties started only ten years later in 1949. Since then it is a struggle …

But if now you invoke Ganesh sincerely, he may resume his good offices through you. It can be tried.

With love and blessings

8 November 1962

*

Dear Mother,

I badly lack the intensity of aspiration and the initial effort needed to establish contact with the psychic. Even there is no intensity in my prayer to You. Mother, help me to grow on the path of sadhana. I often feel that I am not progressing. Please do help.

Do not bother about the progress — it will come by itself with the growth of the sincerity.

Fund collection for the Mother will form a major part of my work in the future. In reply to my enquiry about Lord Ganesh some time back, You very graciously explained the whole thing and wrote at the end about collecting money: “But if now you invoke Ganesh sincerely, he may resume his good offices through you. It can be tried.” Since then I have been doing the Japa of the Ganesh mantra regularly, but it has not been effective so far. Even now I am doing this Japa, keeping Your image in my heart. Mother, should I change this traditional way and follow some other method?

Be plastic to the inner impulse, not too tied by fixed rules and programmes. Let your feeling have a more free play.

In any case you can be sure of the help.

With love and blessings

26 May 1963

*

Mother,

I do not know how things about me have been put before the Mother, so I thought at first of writing a detailed explanation. But ultimately the whole idea changed. “Why this explanation? Does not the Mother know everything? I am her child. She is here to bear, endure and pardon all our follies. Hence what is the necessity of an explanation?”

Mother, give us the capacity to receive and understand Thy guidance. I may not be able to express it, but my whole feeling is to be able to serve Thee in a way Thou desirest us to serve Thee.

Make me worthy of Thee.

I know your feelings and appreciate your good will.

My love and blessings are always with you.

24 August 1964

*

(Madanlal’s wife Karuna was dying of cancer. Two days before she passed away, Madanlal wrote:)

Mother Divine,

Karuna’s condition is deteriorating every day. I am not so much worried now about her physical end, because the Mother’s words that Karuna’s soul has decided to leave the body have made me gradually prepared for this.

You said to me the other day, “I am trying to put her in contact with her soul and if I succeed I will consider it to be the Supreme Grace.” But Mother, when the Divine Mother Herself is saying this, is it not already established?

Mother, we are your children, but after all we are children and have not any sadhana. Thy Grace alone can do something for Karuna, so that she gets the “conscious joy of contact with her soul”. I feel that Karuna cannot aspire for it in her present condition of health. I earnestly pray to the Mother to grant this.

Madanlal,

Do as she asks — and be as calm as you can.

I am with you.

Blessings

4 December 1964

*

(Madanlal’s wife passed away on 5 December 1964. Five days later, Madanlal wrote:)

Mother,

With humble submission I prayerfully ask the following about Karuna:

(1) What is the significance of her passing away at 7.30 p.m. on the 5th of December?

In the night of the 4th to the 5th, Sri Aurobindo, to whom I had spoken about her suffering, told me that she would leave her body peacefully on the 5th.

(2) For two days before her passing away, she appeared to be completely indrawn, although externally conscious. Could she establish the contact with her soul?

It is because the contact with her soul was established that she was indrawn.

(3) Why did she have to leave her body at a comparatively early age?

This was a decision taken by her soul before this birth. The soul had chosen a kind of experience which could not last for many years.

(4) Why was there such prolonged agony and suffering and then such a peaceful end?

So long as the consciousness was turned outward and not aware of the soul’s will, the agony was there. The union with the soul brought the peace.

(5) Will her soul come again to take part in the Mother’s work of supramental manifestation?

The soul is bound to come for the Divine’s Work. When the time comes and the circumstances are favourable, we shall know about it.

Love and blessings

10 December 1964

*

Mother dear,

13th March is my wife’s birthday. On the eve of this occasion, I wish to ask you more about her passing. You have said that there are two periods in life after death: first, the passage to the psychic world, and then the rest in that world. Did Karuna have an easy and quick passage to the final place of rest in the psychic world? Had she gone through it easily and unscathed? Are her physical, vital and mental sheaths dissolved or is she still in one of them, partially or fully?

The transition period was short; all the parts of her being connected directly or indirectly with me, are at rest and her soul is in perfect peace.

Had she still any memory of this life? Does she observe our movements and try to help us? She often used to say, “Even after death, I will keep a watch on you and try to help you to progress on the path of divine realisation.” Is she consciously helping us? If so, why are we not aware of it?

This was a mental resolve and may not have lasted when she united with her soul.

12 March 1965

*

Mother,

For the last few days I concentrate on your eyes as you very graciously look when I go for Pranam. I have selected the enclosed photograph for this purpose. I have hung up the photo and sit on my bed or in a chair and try to meditate to open myself to your Divine Force and reject the thoughts of the ordinary consciousness. I utter “OM Ma Mira sharanam mama” or simply “OM Ma”. When thoughts come, I try resolutely to drive them away and utter “OM swaha”.

Mother, is it all right? Will I receive Your Grace?

It is all right. Persevere. You are sure to succeed one day or another. My force and blessings are with you always.

31 March 1965

*

Mother,

What is preventing me from coming in conscious contact with Thy Grace? Mother, why don’t you dissolve the obstacles or pull them out of my consciousness? I want Thee, Mother, and I want to serve Thee! Please do something. I can only pray.

Mother, does my prayer or call reach Thee some-times?

I am always aware of your call and always send an answer.

In the quietness of the mind you will receive it.

With love and blessings

30 April 1965

*

Mother Divine,

In Thy own Divine words I pray to Thee: “What is this small meanness, stupidity, vanity, ignorance, bad will that is there hiding in a corner, preventing me from crossing the threshold to the new discovery?”[3]

Mother, what is the defect and weakness in me which I am unable to find and pull out? Please help.

Madanlal, my dear child,

It is better not to concentrate on one’s defects and weaknesses.

This life upon earth as it is at present is a constant struggle with all the opposite forces outside — to that constant exterior struggle, those who want to do yoga have to add the constant struggle against the inferior nature which stands in the way. To counterbalance this strain, it is better to concentrate on the positive side of the trust in the Divine’s Grace and Mercy which is always there to help, guide and comfort.

If you can establish and keep in you this faith and confidence, then the way becomes easier.

With my love and blessings

16 July 1965

*

Mother,

I received a phone call from Karuna’s mother, informing me that she is coming here on the 17th February by plane. She is not keeping good health these days. She is feeling very weak. She has asked me to pray to Thee for her health so that she is able to go to Thee for Pranams on every Friday.

I was thinking that if she finds it difficult to climb the steps, she can be brought up in a chair by our boys who are accustomed to do this work and will do it very willingly once a week on Fridays.

With love and blessings

11 February 1966

*

Mother,

Regarding the Coloured Flower Picture Diary. Friends suggest that advertisements in this diary will not look decent. We should raise funds from other sources.

I pray for the Mother’s decision. Of course the diary will look nice without advertisements.

Yes, better no advertisements.

Blessings

8 July 1966

*

Mother,

At my request, Thou gave me the mantra “OM anandamayi chaitanyamayi satyamayi parame”. But Mother, the mantra “OM Ma Mira sharanam mama” has always appealed to me more, because I have faith that all the transcendental powers of the Divine Mother are embodied in Thee.

This mantra is good and you can keep it.

I often recite:

“Cry not to heaven, for she alone can save.

For this the silent Force came missioned down;

In her the conscious Will took human shape:

She only can save herself and save the world.”[4]

Mother, shall I be able to realise this some day?

Certainly you can.

Keep your faith steady and aspire with patience and confidence; the result is sure.

Love and blessings

29 August 1966

*

Mother,

As graciously permitted by Thee I keep on repeating the mantra “OM Ma Mira sharanam mama” and try to concentrate on the meaning of each word of it. This sometimes brings calm and peace. I continue to chant it often. But the greatest hindrance seems to be mental thoughts. Mother, when will the veil over the psychic be lifted? Will it happen at all? Sometimes I feel very depressed and find myself so weak. Sometimes I feel that I have not even started to tread the path.

Mother, I earnestly pray for the opening of my psychic. Will you do it? I am Thy child, so ignorant and foolish. Thou alone can help and save me.

Keep your aspiration ardent and steady — the result is sure.

With all my love and blessings

2 December 1966

*

Mother!

On New Year’s day, my written prayer to Thee was to grant me the boon that is to descend in 1967. Perhaps the non-reply to my prayer confirms my belief that it is not possible to become a divine instrument overnight, at least for a person like me whose psychic has not even come in the front and who is only guided mentally.

Anything is possible with faith and confidence.

My answer was not written but the needful was done and if your trust is steady, your aspiration will be fulfilled.

With love and blessings

My other query was about learning by heart lines of Savitri and meditating on them. I believe in the mantric efficacy of these lines and think they will help me to achieve more quickly the true aspiration for the true realisation. Mother, what is the best way for me according to my present nature? I humbly pray for guidance suited to my present needs.

You may use Savitri lines as mantra — they are powerful.

29 January 1967

*

Mother,

I am trying to remember Thee always. Often I am chanting the mantra “OM Ma Mira sharanam mama”. This I do regularly. But Mother, I find that this has led me nowhere and I am standing in the same place as before. Mother, how long will you allow your child to remain merged in ignorance? And in ignorance, how can I serve Thee?

Mother, outwardly there seem to be no problems for me; you have given me everything. What prevents me, then, from coming in contact with Thee inwardly? Mother dear, establish in me the inner contact with Thee. Otherwise there seems to be no chance for me in this life.

Earnestly praying for Thy guidance and help. I am your ignorant child.

Madanlal, my dear child,

Find your joy and satisfaction in being of service to the Divine’s work upon earth — which is a realised fact — and the rest will come in due course, surely sooner than you expect. With all my love and blessings

6 April 1967

*

Mother,

I earnestly pray to be able to receive Thy inner guidance and to be worthy of Thy work. Mother, why is it not coming?

Surely it will come.

With my love and blessings

22 June 1967

*

Mother,

May I take it that Thy response will be awakened in me and that your last utterances to me were a definite promise, such as we read in Thy Prayers and Meditations: “Our Divine Mother is with us and has promised us identification with the supreme and total consciousness.”?[5]

This promise is still valid.

Mother, do I receive what you are trying to give to me?

You are progressing well and receiving more and more. With love and blessings

6 August 1967

*

Mother,

As my Guru, my divine guide, art Thou satisfied with my spiritual progress? Are there any special directions for sadhana specially suited to my nature?

In general, it is better not to speak of the “sadhana”. Even the guru does not speak of it usually; it is only when there is something wrong that he points it out to the disciple. In your case all is going on normally, so I have nothing to say.

Be quiet and confident. You are advancing properly.

With love and blessings

17 November 1967

*

Mother,

My wife’s mother is declining fast. Due to a failing heart, water has accumulated in the chest. According to the doctors, her condition still continues to be serious. I have informed her family about her condition.

Mother, my only faith is in Thee. I know that the Mother is doing whatever is best. I only pray to Thee again that Karuna’s mother remains under Thy protection and that her whole being returns to Thee only if it has decided to leave. Mother, do take her under Thy complete protection.

Mother, what should I do under the present circumstances? What are Thy commands for me?

You are doing what is necessary. The Divine Grace is with her. Now her soul will decide to stay in her body or to go, according to her spiritual need and the Lord’s command.

My love is with her.

Blessings

c. early 1968

*

Mother,

Suddenly for the last two days I have a feeling of sex which has been almost absent for the last few years. I have a feeling that it is projected into me from outside. What is this, Mother? I pray that it goes away.

You must have picked it up during your journey in the North. Keep quiet and do not think of it — it will go.

5 February 1968

*

Mother,

Every day from seven to eight in the morning I am trying to call you sincerely. Other times also I try to remember Thee. Mother, do you receive my call in the morning?

Not only I receive your call, but I answer very regularly — are you not receiving the answer? … or do you mistake it for something else!

Love and blessings

30 June 1968

*

Mother,

These days I do not find joy in anything; nothing interests me from within; everything appears to be so dull and devoid of all happiness. Physically, vitally, and mentally I am better than before; externally — financially and otherwise — I have no problems as such. I miss something, I need something, but I am unable to locate or explain it.

What is all this, Mother? And how to overcome it?

It is the sign that you are ready to find out your psychic being and to surrender to the Divine all the movements of your being. Your birthday is on the 16th of this month. I shall see you in the morning.

Let it be for you a new birth, the birth to the Divine Consciousness.

With love and blessings

11 July 1968

*

Madanlal, my dear child,

It is not exact that you are doing nothing for me — on the contrary you are very helpful and your illness must pass away quickly, so that you may begin to work again.

The experience [of illness] you had in Calcutta was the result of an old formation that was weighing on your mind and for the removal of which I was working since several years.

Be confident and let the healing forces work fully, so that you may recover soon.

With love and blessings

4 March 1969

*

Mother,

Another night I have passed restlessly and sleeplessly. Now for the last three days the fever rises twice in a day; formerly it was not so. Asthma is constant.

Yesterday morning I had the feeling that the Mother is cleaning my whole system by taking away my cough and the impure things in the stomach.

Mother, I know that I have less confidence and am less open; but Mother, in spite of that, cannot Thy Grace, Protection and Blessings act? Mother, the suffering is much.

I want you to be cured and stronger than before.

Do not listen to the opposing forces.

Love and blessings

9 March 1969

*

Mother,

I bow down with gratitude at Thy feet for Thy written promise of “Ainsi soit-il” [“So be it”] for the removal of my illness. When the Divine herself has written, it is already done.

Last night for the first time I realised the importance of my illness.

Madanlal, my dear child,

It is good that you have been and are conscious; this helps the working of the force and hastens the complete cure that must be the result.

My love and blessings are with you.

17 March 1969

*

Mother,

Last night I had a feeling that by Thy Grace and Force the disease is almost over. In the morning when I went for Pranam, I had the same feeling that the fever and disease are gone. I pray that they may vanish completely so that the doctor does not insist upon giving me injections. Mother, are the injections necessary at this stage?

If the fever continues in the night, it is better to take the injections (I shall see that they do not interfere with the working of the Force).

If this night (from 18 to 19) the fever does not come, you might ask the Doctor to postpone the injection until the report of the test comes.

With love and blessings

18 March 1969

*

Mother,

At the end of the year, I wish to ask Thee: Have I become more sincere to Thee and Thy work?

I am quite happy with you and your work.

With love and blessings

31 December 1969

*

Mother,

I humbly put before Thee the following questions:

1. It is said that the Ashram Press is the Mother’s Press and the New Press [All India Press] is Madanlal’s. Mother, is not the New Press equally Thine?

Yes, it is equally mine.

2. It is further said that the New Press has been started in the spirit of competition and grabbing power. There was no necessity for it. Mother, is the New Press not useful for Thy work and has it not been started with the sole intention of serving Thee and the Master and has it not Thy full approval?

Yes, it has been started with the intention of service and it will prove more and more useful.

Do not care about what people may say in their ignorance and be sure of my full support and confidence.

With love and blessings

16 June 1970

*

Mother,

I have taken up and am doing the publication work. I devote my full time to it. But, Mother, am I progressing spiritually? At least I do not feel it. I pray for Thy guidance and blessings.

The progress is often better when it is not felt. Continue with your work and do not worry. All is well.

Love and blessings

21 March 1971

*

Mother,

During my meditations, I try to concentrate on some aspect of the Divine. I am engaged now in printing and publishing the writings of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. I am trying to do it with detachment and devotion. Most of the time I spend thinking of my work and praying for the Mother’s and Sri Aurobindo’s help for its success. Mother, is this not equivalent to meditation and concentration, and will it not bring spiritual results?

Yes.

Sometimes when the work is not proceeding as expected, I feel depressed and uneasy. Mother, show me a practical way to overcome it.

The way is to keep always and in all circumstances an ardent and constant aspiration.

Love and blessings

2 April 1971

*

(Madanlal outlined for the Mother three projects he wished to accomplish. His letter ends:)

This work requires sincere effort in the spirit of dedication and involves much finance. I want to do it entirely as part of my sadhana. I pray to ask Thee as my Guru and Divine Guide: Will I succeed both spiritually and physically in the above three projects? What possibilities does the Mother foresee? Shall I go ahead fully?

Keep a steady faith.

My blessings are with you.

12 April 1971

*

I have just received your letter; let this year be the year of your liberation from all sex trouble.

Surely Sri Aurobindo will help you to conquer.

With love and blessings

14 July 1971

*

Mother,

Tomorrow is my birthday. Here is a short report of my work.

The Mother’s New Press, called All India Press, has produced from January 1970 to July 1971 the following books: [details given about the publication of 46 books].

Mother, I have undertaken this work of Thine in the full spirit of dedication. This is the work of our Lord. I wish to know: Has He accepted my offering and is He, along with you, guiding me on the path through this work?

Bonne Fête

To Madanlal, with love, appreciation of his good work and blessings for the realisation of his aspirations

16 July 1971

*

Sri Aurobindo Ashram Press and All India Press are both equally working for the Ashram and the work is completing one another. The work of both is quite satisfactory.

Blessings

7 April 1972

*

Madanlal,

Past experience has proved that when you are far from me it is not good for your health. But you must take rest. Is it not possible here?

Love and blessings

9 June 1972

*

Mother,

Tomorrow is my birthday. I pray to Thee:

(1) Give me good health to serve Thee better.

(2) Make me free from desires, preferences and sex impulses, to enable me to grow in Thy consciousness.

(3) Psychic contact is the first thing. It is said that sadhana does not even begin without it, so I have not yet started the sadhana of Sri Aurobindo’s Yoga. Mother, I do not know what I should do to progress on the path. You are my only refuge. I pray to know what is best for my sadhana.

Do not worry, and go on with your work. You are progressing all right.

My love and blessings are always with you.

15 July 1972

*

Madanlal,

I am quite satisfied with your work and have never expressed dissatisfaction about it. Why do you trouble yourself? It is for me that you are working and so long as I am satisfied, you ought to be at peace.

Love and blessings

21 July 1972

*

Mother,

From 1st October I decided to do the following:

(1) Half an hour sunbath in the morning at the time of sunrise, with the attitude that the Sun will help to open me physically, vitally, mentally and spiritually to the Divine Force.

(2) Half an hour meditation with a prayer for inner opening for contact, so that all works become Thy work and I get correct guidance.

(3) Taking food (breakfast, lunch, dinner) all alone, offering the food at Thy Feet with a prayer to open the entire being to Thy Force so that I can enjoy all-round health.

(4) To offer at Thy Divine Feet Rs. 1000 daily up to 24th November with a feeling of complete detachment and a prayer to become open to Thy Force to have inner contact.

(5) Visit Sri Aurobindo’s room daily till 24th November with a prayer to give the victory over power, sex and wealth.

(6) Try to keep constant wakefulness in talk, work and sleep (which I try to do but fail constantly).

Mother, the gist of this whole prayer, according to my childish notion, is to break me open to Thy Force in order to serve Thee better. Praying for my prayer to be heard, I am Thy ignorant child.

This is quite all right and I fully agree.

You can count on my help for its realisation.

My love and blessings are always with you.

13 October 1972

*

Mother,

When I observe my past, I find that wealth and power have no special claim on me, but sex seems to be in the grain of my character from birth, and that is why it is so difficult to change. I am quite conscious of this defect and constantly trying to get rid of it, but always I fail. Mother, what should I do to overcome it? I find it very difficult.

Do not think so much about it. It will go.

Love and blessings

20 October 1972

*

Madanlal, my dear child,

Through your work you are doing sadhana — and your progress is quite satisfactory. Do not worry and go on quietly; you are not concerned with what the others do. It can in no way alter the usefulness of your own work.

Do your work as a service to the Divine and be in peace. All is well.

With love and blessings

28 November 1972

*

Mother,

You have been so kind to me that I cannot express it in words. You have been and are giving me everything — but Mother, I feel that I am throwing it all away and cannot retain even a portion of it. Mother, is there no way to make me hold what you so graciously shower on me? I find myself helpless and weak.

Moreover, Mother, I find no interest in life these days. No work interests me. It is a peculiar state. It is so intense that I feel no interest in living. Sometimes I pray that I may leave this body quietly and merge myself in Thy consciousness. Mother, what is this? I want to serve Thee sincerely, but how can I do this in the present state in which I am?

Mother, please help.

I shall tell you only one thing:

I need you for my work.

Have patience and courage.

My love and blessings are with you always.

9 January 1973

*

Mother,

In spite of all Thy help, I still feel very restless and unhappy. As my Guru you know all about my inner and outer difficulties. Mother Divine, I pray to know —

(1) What is the cause of my personal difficulties?

(2) What should be done to get them solved?

With a prayer to be really worthy to be called Thy child.

It is always the ego that is unhappy. Do not listen to your ego and rely for all on the Divine and peace and a quiet joy will enter your heart.

Love and blessings

7 March 1973

[1] The two replies of this date were dictated by the Mother to Nolini Kanta Gupta. She signed the typed copies of them.

[2] Nilakantha Joshi of Rameshwaram.

[3] From the Mother’s conversation of 8 June 1955. See Questions and Answers 1955, Collected Works of the Mother (CWM, second edition), vol. 7, p. 196.

[4] Sri Aurobindo, Savitri, Complete Works of Sri Aurobindo (CWSA) vol. 34, p. 461

[5] Prayers and Meditations, CWM vol. 1, p. 254

Series Eight
Correspondence with Gautam Chawalla

Born on 13 December 1934, Gautam Chawalla joined the Ashram in May 1952 at the age of seventeen. At the beginning he worked on an Ashram farm growing coconuts and assisted the Mother doing various tasks in the Ashram main building. Later, he founded AuroTravels, a travel agency in Pondicherry. He lived in the Ashram for sixty-two years, passing away on 15 June 2014 at the age of seventy-nine.

Gautam’s correspondence with the Mother covers the period from 1953 to 1968. At first he asked questions about himself and his work, but then began asking general questions about sadhana and the future. The correspondence is in French, with a few exceptions, and appears here in translation.

When you go to Mother, you should always smile.[1]

20 June 1953

*

Mother, take me in your arms so that I can sleep there quietly like a child, and nothing bad will be able to separate me from you.

To Gautam,

With love and blessings

4 April 1954

*

He who has need of outer changes is not progressing inwardly; but he who is progressing inwardly can always live in the same outer conditions, for they constantly reveal new truths to him.

30 January 1958

*

O Love! You have isolated me …[2]

Have patience.

I am in your heart — and the day of working in the physical presence is sure to come again; one must know how to wait.

13 May 1962

*

Gautam, my dear little one,

Bravo for the letter in French! Continue to learn it well; it will be useful some day.

And do not forget that I am always with you.

With my blessings

18 May 1962

*

Ma, Y is giving me French lessons twice a week, from six to seven in the evening on Mondays and Thursdays. I find it very helpful.

She is a good teacher. Be a good student and you are bound to succeed.

With my blessings

29 May 1962

*

Ma, Your coconuts are happy. Yesterday we had 4350 cocos. This is the most till now.

Bravo! for the coconuts and my affection to Gautam.

20 June 1962

*

Ma, I have had a problem for some time. When I look at Your photographs, no matter which ones, a suggestion comes to me: “This is not Mother”, even though I know it is You. Ma, I don’t know if it is a hostile suggestion. In the photograph You have a form, yet it is not the form one usually sees. It is difficult to express.

Ma, You know everything. I have put the problem as clearly as possible and the rest you know.

It is not a hostile suggestion but a partial, incomplete experience. Photographs merely show an incomplete fragmentary image of a form that is itself transient and fleeting.

My consciousness, my true being not only has an eternal form but many immortal forms, and each person can see the form that is in accord with him. Some day you will surely see one of my true forms.

With my blessings

7 September 1962

*

Ma, the soaps have been outside for some time. You said that you wanted to arrange them. If you have a little time, I am ready with the list of powders and powder-puffs.

I have marked on the soap list those that I want you to bring. Arrange them according to place and kind — all the Indian soaps can be put at the bottom of the cupboard. But if all do not fit in one cupboard, I was thinking of discarding the Indian soaps. Try this arrangement first and come on Wednesday at 10.45.

16 September 1962

*

Gautam, my dear child,

The new room will be cleaned by Dyuman and Champaklal who are already taking care of the old room. So, for the time being, no one else is necessary.

Anyway, I know very well that you wanted to do this work, thinking it would give you the opportunity to see me more often — but that is not the case because the room has a particular entrance, and [end of reply missing]

14 December 1962

*

Sweet Mother, the two gardeners at the Industrial Garden do not wish to work there from this Saturday, because they are not satisfied with Rs. 1.00 a day. They say that the work is more and the pay is less. Secondly, many workers in the Paper Factory have got an increment — this the gardeners know and so they expect the same. They are good gardeners and they work well.

I pray to Mother for the decision.

P.S. It is difficult to get anyone to work for Rs. 1.00 per day nowadays.

You can give them 1.25 a day.

10 January 1963

*

One single thought of You, O Love!

The calm of Eternity and the felicity of Peace!

11 February 1963

*

Ma, the Doctor has given me permission to go to the Ashram tomorrow, Sunday. Do You think I can start work on Monday? I feel perfectly fine.

Ma, I will take the necessary precautions, but let me do the work.

Gautam, my dear child,

You can come to see me for a minute tomorrow, Sunday, at 10.15, so that I can see if you are in a condition to work.

6 March 1963

*

Gautam, my dear child,

Do you believe it helps you to progress in yoga by speaking crudely and having bad manners?

18 March 1963

*

Gautam, my dear child,

About ten days ago, I saw around you a dark and aggressive cloud which was unpleasant. As a result I wrote you a note to alert you, but I did not send it, hoping that under the pressure of the Divine Consciousness you would become aware and tell me what it was about. But nothing came and I kept the note.

I am sending it to you today — it will be for the future.

I have thought about you a lot these days, but I have a lot of work as well and I cannot call you. I will see you on the first. With my blessings

26 March 1963

*

Gautam, my dear child,

I wrote because of what I had seen.

I did not attach much importance to the M affair because

I know for certain that when people fight they are all equally wrong.

But in your nature there is something intolerant that gets angry very easily, and this is most contrary to spiritual development because it is a narrowness of mind that prevents you from putting yourself in the place of others and understanding their viewpoint. Also it is a lack of control over the vital, which is absolutely contrary to the self-mastery required for the sadhana.

With my blessings

26 March 1963

*

Gautam, my dear child,

Cling to me and fear nothing — soon it will pass.

With my tenderness

30 March 1963

*

Certainly, my dear little one, I expect to see you tomorrow morning. I know that what you have is quite painful, but that is no reason for not coming, if you take precautions and walk slowly.

Tell the Doctor that you can come and that I have permitted it, and I am sure he will let you come. Come at 10.30.

Do not think of your pain, think of me instead, and you will see that you suffer less.

With all my tenderness

31 March 1963

*

My child, today you will be born to Divine Love — the True Love.

With my blessings

1 April 1963

*

Gautam, my dear child,

Your observations are correct and I am happy that you see clearly into yourself. Every person always has a part in him that is slower to change and holds him back. One has to have patience and deal with it like a child who is going to school: that is, keep repeating the same thing to him and make him conscious of the need to open to the Divine Force and be transformed.

So you have to be patient, but at the same time very confident that you are on the right track.

I am always with you.

Tenderly

2 April 1963

*

Ma, I have come from the hospital. They have not taken an X-ray because they found too much gas in the stomach, especially in the kidney, so they have given some tablets to be taken for two days. On Tuesday the 16th at about 3.30 p.m. they will try again.

Ma, is it necessary to go through all this once more? I really feel there is nothing inside. The drugs, injections, etc. are not very encouraging. I wait for Mother’s guidance.

It is better to go through it once for all and finish with it.

Love

14 April 1963

*

Ma, since you wrote to me I truly wanted to have that X-ray test. But they only found some gas in the kidney. You know, Ma, I have spent the last four days in an intolerable state of consciousness: the medicines, the injections, the purgatives, the fever and the hospital — all this has weakened me. Now I need to rest.

Ma, I pray to You with all my love to take pity on me and keep me far from this affair. I am not complaining, but something in the body is resisting. You know very well that this X-ray will be useless.

Ma, I don’t want to go. How to explain to others what is going on in me? You know, and that is why I am imploring You not to let me go.

O Love, You are my only refuge.

All right, my dear little one. I wanted to write to you this morning to put an end to all this. It is really quite useless. Rest, and on 19th morning come with Champaklal to arrange the curios.

And we will speak no more about illness!

Tenderness and blessings

17 April 1963

*

Ma, after writing to You, I went to see the director of agriculture in Pondicherry State and he gave me for free some Delidrine, a medicine against termites. I myself worked with the gardeners there till seven in the evening.

Ma, while I was spraying the trees with water and medicine (we treated 300 trees yesterday evening), I felt a contact with the trees which had been interrupted during my illness. And at a certain moment I knew that all will be well.

Ma, I am not tired; on the contrary, I feel the joy of being Your instrument.

My dear child,

I am very happy you took care of the trees. I knew that it was because of your “illness” that they fell sick, and now I am sure they will recover.

Tenderness

30 April 1963

*

O Love! Your child

Dear child,

My love is always with you.

22 May 1963

*

Ma, this time You have 3765 coconuts.

Tenderness and blessings

9 July 1963

*

Ma, Your goodness is beyond compare. O Love, take me into Yourself.

I keep you always in my protecting arms.

25 September 1963

*

Ma, these shirts have been made for the USA. I have 24 in all, but I am sending you a few for your opinion.

Ma, my thoughts are full of You and my heart adores You. Just give me patience till I see You on the first.

Your shirts are very beautiful and well arranged.

The first is only two days away, so you don’t need a lot of patience. Don’t you know there is a great joy in waiting for something you love?

Tenderness and blessings

29 December 1963

*

Ma, M has arrived. She is very fine. She has given this pen to me, but it is too beautiful for me. Ma, I offer it to You. It is eternal — no refill is necessary.

How does it work? I will keep it for a few days; then I will return it to you so that you can use it … eternally!

Blessings

2 January 1964

*

Ma, we have water in the Industrial Garden. I pray for Your blessings.

Welcome to the water, and my blessings.

20 January 1964

*

Ma, tomorrow morning D and M are going to Madras. D has fixed an appointment with the dentist. I have toothache, so if You agree I can go with them. But Ma, I have work here. I cannot decide what to do.

It is not you who are deciding, it is your teeth that have decided to ache.

So you can go with D and M, and I give all three of you my blessings!

6 February 1964

*

Ma, we have received an order from the USA for 700 large marbled sheets of paper. The marbling must be finished before the end of the month. I started yesterday, but something is not okay. Ma, I pray for Your help.

Concentrate before starting the work and work calmly.

Everything will be fine.

Blessings

18 March 1964

*

Ma, this time You have 4086 coconuts.

Very good.

Love

27 May 1964

*

Gautam, my dear child,

Your blunder is forgotten — but do not do it again.

With my blessings

23 July 1964

*

Ma, this time You have 4188 coconuts in Your garden.

Bravo!

Blessings

22 September 1964

*

Ma, that day blessed of all days — service in Your physical presence — is it still far away?

“A day will come” (as the perfume Arys says). But one must know how to wait and hold on.

Tenderness

11 November 1964

*

Ma, thanks to You, this time in full winter Your coconut trees have given 5698 coconuts.

Bravo!

Blessings

10 December 1964

*

Gautam,

I would like you to arrange the exhibition of Ashram products for export which will take place in the town on February 6th.

A lovely occasion to display your good taste!

Blessings

2 February 1965

*

Ma, this time Your coconut trees have yielded 3860 coconuts.

Blessings

24 February 1965

*

Ma, this time You have got 2568 coconuts.

Bravo!

Blessings

5 May 1965

*

Ma, You are my only refuge!

Remain tightly nestled in this refuge.

Tenderness

7 May 1965

*

Ma, enclosed are two photos of our new dog. The photos are not good, but she is really beautiful and very sensitive and intelligent. Ma, the dog has no name. I pray to You to give one — a French name.

“Fidèle.” She is gentle.

Blessings

May 1965

*

Ma, I do my work, but I no longer have the privilege of service to You. And yet my dreams are of service alone.

You must take this morning’s flower as an assurance for the future.

Blessings

15 June 1965

*

Ma, teach me disinterested work.

Yes.

With my blessings

7 July 1965

*

Money is like water, to remain pure it must run.

15 August 1965

*

Being conscious of all the movements of one’s being is not enough, is it? One must also know how to change them. How to do this?

This is precisely the object of the integral yoga. It is by making the higher consciousness come down into the fourfold material[3] that one can change one’s character and all the movements of one’s being.

6 January 1966

*

My little one whom I love,

I am not at all angry. But it will be good if you listen to my direct communications!

3 June 1966

*

Ma, yesterday You once again had 4670 coconuts. Totally You have had 9162 coconuts in a single month. Your trees are happy, but …

Bravo for the coconuts! And bravo for the trees if they are happy!

Being happy is the best way of showing one’s gratitude to the Divine.

With my tenderness and my blessings

16 June 1966

*

Love?

You doubt it?!! Mine is always with you.

15 July 1966

*

You told me that you are my friend. But circumstances separate us, don’t they? This has always happened to me.

I see that your vital is pessimistic. Pessimism is the enemy of spiritual life, which requires a peaceful and luminous trust.

When your vital gives way to its defeatist imaginations, tell it: “Keep quiet, you are blaspheming the Divine!”

7 September 1966

*

The world is a matter of the degree of Consciousness, isn’t it? Difference creates authority, and fear follows authority — so where is love?

Yes, it is like that in the vital world, which is the domain of the adverse forces — despotism and fear are the great tools of the Asuras. But that has nothing to do with the divine world. Indeed, it is the negation of the divine world, it is the falsehood that Truth must destroy and replace with compassion and love.

8 September 1966

*

Behind my work there is ambition, behind my love there is personality, and behind my purity there is fear. O You!!!

Since you are conscious of this, it proves that you are on the way to their elimination. The vital mixes its egoistic impurity into all movements. But when one becomes conscious, one should offer all these impurities to the Divine and they vanish.

9 September 1966

*

We are judging things as good or bad depending on their advantage to us. What bargaining!

Yes, this is precisely the human way of judging, and this is why it is completely false. The Divine alone sees the true value of persons and can help them to become the best they can be.

10 September 1966

*

Observation: Nature — an élan of aspiration in complete repose. Man — a horrible mixture of gross needs in agitation. And yet man is evolved?

Yes, he has come out of pure animality, but he still has all his roots in it, and he will break out of animality only when he will have gone beyond the mind.

It is the mind that has placed man above the animal, but man is merely an incomplete intermediary being. It is only when the Supramental manifests that this being will become divine.

11 September 1966

*

Innumerable are my stupidities — but a path is there and the thirst for an Absolute Perfection. Guide me, O Love!

Yes, the path is open before you.

And I will lead you by the hand. You are sure to reach the goal.

12 September1966

*

Who are You?

I have already told you.

What do I have?

The Divine at the centre of your being.

13 September 1966

*

At a certain point, everyone is very sensitive. Touch that point, even in the most developed beings, and it is over. Why?

The more developed and conscious one is, the more sensitive one becomes, and as a result one becomes more vulnerable to the shocks of outer disorder, unless one can face it with the imperturbable calm of the Supreme Harmony.

14 September 1966

*

To what extent is the supramental force effective upon earth?

Exactly in proportion to the goodwill and receptivity of each one.

15 September 1966

*

For some time now I am able to foresee events, but they are always commonplace or not at all pleasant. Why?

These are the first experiences of knowledge by identity, and in these experiences the phenomenon of identity is much more important than the circumstance of the identification.

Later, when the capacity has become conscious and voluntary, then one can choose the object of one’s identification.

16 September 1966

*

Sri Aurobindo has told us that the Supramental is All-Powerful — so why this condition: “in proportion to the goodwill and receptivity of each one”?

It is not a condition. It is a fact. Because He wants it that way.

17 September 1966

*

Tired. I am tired of everything. O friend, save me from a bitter, dried-up heart.

There is only one remedy to this malady which comes from a dissatisfied vital. It is to find your psychic being (the vesture of the Divine) and to unite with it. Then you will find joy in the Divine Force and the tiredness will disappear. If you decide to take up this liberating work, you can count on my full help.

18 September 1966

*

Love among humans is based on remembrance, isn’t it?

In the material world, love expresses itself through the need to be close, to unite, to become one. The persistence of remembrance is rather the effect of love and not its basis.

19 September 1966

*

I have suffered enough! If You truly love me, set me free at any cost. How can I find my soul?

Stop complaining. You are suffering because some part of your being has a perverse attraction to suffering.

In fact, the circumstances of your life would seem perfectly enviable to many people who aspire for a spiritual life.

Observe this mania for suffering sincerely and you will see that it is a pose of your vital which hopes in this way to attract the sympathy of others and maybe even the divine compassion.

20 September 1966

*

If one loves somebody, to what extent can one act and change the life of the person one loves?

It all depends on the quality of the love. If it is an egoistic, monopolising love, one can do nothing for the person one thinks one loves.

Only divine love has the power to change someone’s life by opening in him the doors of his soul.

21 September 1966

*

What You have written to me is quite true — but I just want to tell You that I have never complained to anyone except the Divine (You). Divine Grace I have not felt, but Your Love, yes!

What difference can you make between Grace and love? Love is the Grace’s means of action, so it is quite natural that one feels love first.

22 September 1966

*

A beautiful landscape has always helped me come out of my smallness. Once again life is beautiful and calm.

Bravo! That’s good!

23 September 1966

*

It is said that Time is the great healer. It is true, isn’t it, because with the passing of time one forgets the cause of the injury? A question of memory.

It is not because one forgets that the saying is true, for then it would be meant for men who are completely ordinary and live in their surface consciousness. But what is true is that the whole world is in perpetual transformation; everything changes at every moment, and for those who aspire and are supple, time is the great remedy because with time they can cure all their ills and imperfections and transform themselves totally.

Sri Aurobindo has said: “Learn how to wait and you will put Time on your side.”

24 September 1966

*

You speak of the perpetual transformation of the world — but what is it that changes? Nature? Matter? Consciousness? Then why are the problems the same since the beginning?

There is only one problem — that of “separation”. All the others follow from it. And there is only one solution. This problem will remain until the separation has been abolished and fusion with the Divine Consciousness has become a reality. But the whole creation is moving towards this in a perpetual state of change. It is only for a superficial, short-sighted, limited vision that the world does not seem to change.

Have you read Savitri? This theory that the world turns perpetually in a circle without changing or progressing is the great argument of Death in his effort to prove to Savitri that her hope of transformation is far-fetched.

26 September 1966

*

What are the conditions to be observed in order to earn money for You?

Sincerity, straightforwardness, scrupulous honesty, disinterestedness, courage, endurance, perseverance — and never to forget what dignity and honour there is in working for the Divine.

With all that, one is sure of success.

26 September 1966

*

Yes, I have read Savitri several times and I have understood and felt the truth of what Sri Aurobindo says. But tell me, what has changed? I don’t doubt the possibility of a total change, but nothing has completely changed, has it?

If you apply the word “change” to the supramental realisation, then certainly it has not taken place in a concrete way upon earth. But before that happens, a number of changes have to take place, many progressive changes, and these are the ones I am talking about.

Life is in perpetual transformation so that it may achieve the integral transformation in the Divine Life.

28 September 1966

*

What is the power of a prayer?

Prayer, if it is sincere and spontaneous, has the same power as aspiration. I am talking about prayer that arises spontaneously from the heart, not about prayer that is memorised and repeated more or less mechanically, because that has a very diminished power and almost no effectiveness.

30 September 1966

*

Many people here have lost their sense of security. Why?

Because instead of keeping their faith in the Divine Grace intact, they have started to think about what will happen to them if I leave this body.

There are others who are here only for their material comfort; they are frightened because they find the financial situation uncertain.

3 October 1966

*

It seems to me that here, instead of losing our egos, we nourish them — and You encourage us. Why?

It is the concentration of power that has this effect. Instead of using this power to transform themselves, as it ought to be used, most people use it to strengthen their ego.

I certainly do not encourage this, far from it. I am a distressed witness.

4 October 1966

*

Even those who have been here for a very long time become strange in their old age. Is it because consciousness depends on one’s health?

In no way. Consciousness is eternal and nothing can affect it. But the physical body is rarely infused with consciousness, and, even when it is, it is only partly infused.

The body, as it is at present, is like a musical instrument (piano or violin) and if some strings or notes are missing, then even the most perfect musician cannot perfectly express music through them.

The consciousness is intact, but its expression is incomplete.

5 October 1966

*

In the last four years since you have withdrawn, the Ashram has changed a lot. There is chaos everywhere. People are concerned only about their personal affairs, and each one exploits You. Why???

Probably their ego interests them more than the Divine or even more than the divine life. Or rather their ego is master of the house — it runs the house!

6 October 1966

*

We call You “Mother”, but this name is associated with a human quality, maternal and imperfect. How do you see “the Mother”?

It is Sri Aurobindo who called me Mother and it is his conception of the mother that he wanted for me. For him, the Mother is the Mahashakti, creatrix of the universe, as he has explained in his book The Mother.

7 October 1966

*

Our actions and insincerity are responsible for the present financial situation, aren’t they? But You say nothing and allow us to do things. Why?

Have you forgotten the Grace? Without the Grace, those who are guilty would be punished by the very consequences of their actions, and then…

Love and blessings

8 October 1966

*

What I would like to know is this: here on earth and in this body, what relation do You have with us when we call You “Mother”?

The relation with one without whom you would not exist and from whom you can expect not only a total and limitless understanding but also an integral and infallible goodwill.

Where then in all this can there be any place for fear?

9 October 1966

*

It happens that after every spiritual experience, I experience a drop in consciousness or rather a sort of negation of that experience. Why?

This is one more proof of the division in you. One part wants the light, another part clings to its obscurity, and as the first part progresses, the other hastens to demolish it.

The unification of your being is imposing itself in an urgent way, and for this the luminous part has to dominate the obscure one and educate it, instead of letting it do whatever it wants — in other words, letting it spoil your life and make you miserable.

You must regard this part of your being not as yourself but as a hostile formation that you must convert to the truth.

10 October 1966

*

We are afraid of You only as long as You allow it to exist. As soon as You consent to be intimate with us, the fear vanishes. This privilege, however, is not granted to all.

There are disciples who have never been intimate with me and who have never been afraid. It is when one’s consciousness is not at ease that one is afraid. Somewhere one feels that one is guilty and one is afraid of being caught. When one’s consciousness is clear, one is never afraid.

11 October 1966

*

What You wrote to me yesterday, I know very well mentally. What I want is to live it, a decisive experience. O Love, that is all I ask of You.

When you will be open only to the divine influence and to no other, then you will have the Experience.

12 October 1966

*

At the end of each day, I see that I have repeated the same comedy as the day before! O You…

Yes, it is like that as long as one is not doing sadhana. It is only the sadhana of integral perfection that makes each day, each hour new and interesting.

13 October 1966

*

You speak precisely of sadhana. I wanted to ask You this: after what Sri Aurobindo has written in The Synthesis of Yoga on the sadhana of the Integral Yoga, who is doing it here? Not a single person. Yet life is quite satisfactory.

So do the sadhana yourself and you will be the first!

14 October 1966

*

Truly speaking, does the question of the relativity of things exist on earth?

Everything is relative except the Supreme. The Supreme alone is absolute; but since the Supreme is at the centre of each being, each being carries in himself his absolute.

14 October 1966

*

When one does not see the way clearly, what should one do?

Consult me.

16 October 1966

*

I see how weak I am, but in the consciousness I find a small part that is the witness.

It is the part in your being that is in contact with the psychic. The contact goes on intensifying and becoming more and more precise, until your psychic being becomes the conscious centre of all your activities.

17 October 1966

*

How to be truly grateful to someone who has helped you? I have found people who have goodwill for everyone.

These are the true sages…

The divine compassion is spread over everyone, and each is able to receive its help according to his capacity.

It is to the Divine that our gratitude should go, always and for everything.

23 October 1966

*

What does tolerance mean? Is there a limit to tolerance?

Human tolerance is limited, because everything in human nature is limited.

From the Divine point of view, tolerance is to allow everything and accept everything. But for man, tolerance means not to react violently against what one dislikes or rather against what one disapproves of.

25 October 1966

*

Don’t You find that work often suffers because of tolerance? Because man takes tolerance as a permission or an opportunity to take his own advantage, isn’t that so?

It is not the fault of tolerance but of man’s insincerity, and suppression or punishment would only make it worse. It would give a sort of legitimacy to his insincerity.

26 October 1966

*

Life is full of preferences and the most perfect men simply have subtler preferences, isn’t that so?

Perhaps … but a perfect yogi cannot have preferences.

27 October 1966

*

If I am angry, a very strong vibration comes and I lose my equilibrium. There is also a sort of trembling in my body. Why?

These are vital vibrations of a lower order that come; the vital forces of this type are brutal, violent and destructive. One should never let them enter, and for that one must never get angry, which in itself is an ignorant lower movement.

28 October 1966

*

Why does man always need someone in order to express his feelings?

Not all men and not always. It is those who are weak and live on the surface, those who have not developed their inner life who are like that.

29 October 1966

*

Guide me, I cannot see anything …

You can count on me. I will open your eyes.

30 October 1966

*

For some time, every time I go to sleep I find myself in strange places, and what is odd is that even after waking up I cannot recognise my room. Why?

It is because you have become more conscious of the part in your being that dreams and that, on returning to your body, still dominates your waking consciousness.

31 October 1966

*

A great confusion in my being. What to do?

It is a big work to put it in order. It is the same thing as putting a room or a cupboard in order. One must begin in one corner and go till the end.

To put one’s being in order, one first has to find in it that which is conscious of the Divine or at least aspires for the Divine.

Then one places this at the centre of the consciousness. Next all that comes afterwards, all the thoughts, [end of reply missing]

1 November 1966

*

Often one does things out of habit. How to replace them by conscious acts?

By a sustained will and daily practice.

2 November 1966

*

When will this problem of money be solved? Every year it is getting worse.

It is because expenses are increasing and revenues are decreasing. But it certainly needs to be set right!

3 November 1966

*

Goodwill is not always effective. Why?

Goodwill is indispensable, but it is not all-powerful. The factor of ignorance has great importance. Ignorant goodwill is almost always ineffective.

4 November 1966

*

Nature had promised You her collaboration, but we have just had our second cyclone this year. Why?

It is probably her way of collaborating. She gives lessons, but these lessons are not on a human scale. They are on the scale of the universe.

4 November 1966

*

We suffer because of our karma, don’t we?

Suffering is the result of separation and ignorance. Karma only determines the kind of suffering that each one goes through, according to one’s nature and actions, as the fastest way to make progress. Suffering is not a punishment, but a logical and inevitable consequence — inevitable unless the Grace intervenes, and the Grace always intervenes in response to faith.

5 November 1966

*

What lesson does Nature want to learn? And why?

Sincerity in aspiration towards the Divine.

6 November 1966

*

What is the power of thought?

The power of thought depends considerably on the power of the thinker. Every well-formed thought has its own force of realisation, which gives it a power of realisation in the mental domain. It can act in the physical world only through a mental human being.

7 November 1966

*

Do You like flattery? Even certain persons close to You don’t tell You things as they are, and when one asks them why, the answer is: “It would not please Sweet Mother.”

It is not necessarily a question of flattery. Since I am extremely busy and don’t have time to listen to what each person would like to tell me, it is quite natural that those around me prefer to tell me pleasant things first and keep the unpleasant ones for afterwards.

To tell the truth, it is important to tell me things only when I have to intervene, and those things are not so many.

8 November 1966

*

Does the will that a thinker puts into his thought have a power of realisation?

Certainly, it is one of the important elements of mental formation. But since each thinker has his own will, it leads to a great conflict of thoughts, which results in doubts.

Only will one with the Divine Will is all-powerful.

9 November 1966

*

What good is it to tell You pleasant things? — because it is always You. What is not pleasant is what we are — and if we hide ourselves from You, if we are not ready to tell the truth, how can we live the truth?

For me, pleasant or unpleasant has little meaning; these are very relative ways of seeing and feeling the play of the eternal consciousness — and the proof of this is that the same thing or circumstance can be pleasant for some people and unpleasant for others.

From the practical point of view, I always take note of things that are useful to say because they require my intervention (compassion for a mistake committed is certainly part of them). And words that are spoken only for the pleasure of speaking, that is to say, useless [end of reply missing]

10 November 1966

*

The economic and political situation of India is bad. The solution?

To turn to the Divine — and to serve the Truth.

11 November 1966

*

One loves someone — that person loves someone else. It is rare that people love each other with the same intensity. Why?

Because what men call “love” is rarely love. It is usually a physical desire or a vital attraction or a sentimental affinity.

Love is something very profound, very intense and very lasting; it does not need reciprocation in order to exist, and it manifests very rarely among human beings because it cannot exist along with egoism.

12 November 1966

*

Does the Lord decide everything when one takes up Yoga?

Yes.

12 November 1966

*

The solution You have given for India is not practical, and You know this better than I. So what is the practical and immediate solution?

THERE IS NONE.

All the so-called practical means are childish, and with them men blind themselves, so they do not see the real need and the only remedy.

13 November 1966

*

After what You write and what Sri Aurobindo has written in The Human Cycle, it is evident that the solution lies in Truth. Then why the delay?

Because Truth is supremely destructive of falsehood and ill will. If it were to act immediately on the world as it is, not much of it would remain! … It is patiently preparing its own coming.

15 November 1966

*

I have so many ideas! And along with them is a force that wants to manifest itself. If only I could realise them … You would always have material riches at Your feet.

Well, this is good!

Cultivate in yourself a growing, unshakeable faith in the Divine Grace, and you will succeed.

16 November 1966

*

There are times when nothing seems to move. Why?

It is when for some reason, usually the ego, one has strayed from the universal harmony.

17 November 1966

*

Your force is more effective universally in the world than it is with us here. Still, you look after us. Why?

The force and power are the same here and in the world. And even here in some respects, the power is greater. But those who live here are so accustomed to being bathed in this force that they don’t even notice it, and most of them have to leave here to realise that it exists.

18 November 1966

*

We see circumstances according to our Sanskaras — so we never see the reality, do we?

Certainly, as long as there is an ego, one does not see things as they truly are. But as one’s consciousness unites with the Divine Consciousness, one’s vision becomes more and more true.

19 November 1966

*

Where is there justice upon earth?

Nowhere. Even (and perhaps especially) human justice is not just. Here on earth, justice is replaced by Divine Grace. Because if Divine Justice were to be applied, the freedom necessary for evolution could no longer be exercised.

20 November 1966

*

Don’t you want to get rid of the parasites who are here?

I treat them as if they were not so, and then they are obliged either to change or to go.

21 November 1966

*

Ordinarily Grace means “we can get what we want”. There are very few persons who have realised all that happens as Grace. So in that case, is there anything like “justice” or “just”?

There is the Divine Justice, supreme and irrevocable. But it is so marvellous that men cannot understand it. When they manage to perceive it, they feel overwhelmed.

22 November 1966

*

When the Lord closes a door, he opens a window somewhere, isn’t that so?

If you mean to say, closing the door that leads downward and opening the window that looks up at the sky, it is indeed correct.

23 November 1966

*

Make me also drink Ananda, as You drink it.

That is hardly my concern. My concern is to be exactly what the Lord wants me to be. When He gives me Ananda, I try not to lose any of it, nor to add anything to it that might distort it.

24 November 1966

*

There are people who succeed in life and there are others who don’t manage it. What determines these things?

Their own nature. What one carries in one’s nature is reflected in one’s surroundings. Optimistic, harmonious natures attract and meet with success. Pessimistic, discontented natures attract failures and difficulties.

25 November 1966

*

Is suffering the means for coming out of tamas?

Certainly not if one inflicts suffering on oneself.

If one seeks suffering or makes oneself suffer deliberately, one only adds perversion to tamas and make it more incurable.

27 November 1966

*

Each time You have a little disorder in Your body You stop eating. Why?

Because for this body the only remedy is to enter into the immobility of the Lord.

28 November 1966

*

Your presence alone makes life agreeable. Read all that I have not written and save me.

It is from yourself that you must be saved. Because the circumstances of your life are such that many people — all those who believe in the possibility of divine transformation — would truly be happy and grateful to find themselves in your place.

One more proof that one is the instrument of one’s own torment.

29 November 1966

*

Deep down, I feel how disgusting this life is. There is nothing in it that is not full of ego and falsehood. But to come out of it … where and how and when?

Right now, by sincere self-offering to the Divine, by complete consecration of all one’s energies and work, and by renouncing one’s desires and preferences.

30 November 1966

*

I am grateful for all that You do for me and I want to be happy as before, and despite myself You want to save me — so I love You more than ever.

Well, this is good. But there is the Gautam who wrote this evening’s letter, and that Gautam refuses to be saved …

You have to find your psychic being — then you will be happy and contented, and progress will become easy. It is your psychic being that loves me. Can you not identify yourself with it? Then you will be saved and happy …

1 December 1966

*

“Consent to be nothing and none” — these words kept repeating themselves in me.

Then you have indeed heard the answer the Lord has given to your ego.

2 December 1966

*

I have never written that I will not be saved. The psychic being is hiding itself; help me to find it.

I never said that you will not be saved. Certainly you will. But if your whole being wants it, it will be a lot faster. It is not the psychic being that is hiding itself; it is your desires that are hiding it.

3 December 1966

*

How should one spend the fifth of December?

Like other days — in a sincere aspiration for perfect consecration.

If one can, one should intensify one’s aspiration on this day.

5 December 1966

*

A new door is beginning to open. Is the yoga of the body always so interesting? I had the impression that even the body was smiling. Is that possible?

Completely possible. The yoga of the body is full of marvellous discoveries.

6 December 1966

*

Is there a difference between innocence and ignorance?

Very often the word innocence is used indiscriminately. Between real innocence and ignorance there is the same difference as between truth and falsehood.

7 December 1966

*

Sleep absorbs everything, especially an experience. Is everything lost?

What you want to say is not very clearly expressed.

Do you want to say that during sleep one has many experiences but they get lost because one is asleep? This is true only for those who are unconscious in their sleep and remember nothing when they wake up.

But through a well-organised education, one can remember all the activities of the night. And then, instead of getting lost, they become very useful and instructive.

8 December 1966

*

I have not understood Your answer. Innocence means that one does not know or is not aware, and ignorance means that one no longer knows or is unconscious. So how is one pure and the other is not?

The true meaning of innocence is “without defect, without sin” — in other words, one who has kept the divine simplicity of the Origin, one who has not taken part in the deformation of separation.

9 December 1966

*

What I wanted to say is that an experience during the day is absorbed by sleep. Isn’t that so?

No. It is only an appearance, and the experience is never lost. But for those who fall into unconsciousness during their sleep, the experience of the day sinks down into the subconscious and seems to be lost, though it continues to have its effect, but in a veiled way.

10 December 1966

*

“The lion, when stricken to the heart, gives out his mightiest roar. When smitten on the head, the cobra lifts his hood. And the majesty of the soul comes forth only when man is wounded to his depths.” — Vivekananda

Is this true?

It is only a little bit true and a lot is literature — because the state of Nature which makes this necessary must be surpassed.

We aspire for the time when it will no longer be necessary for Sri Aurobindo to die.

11 December 1966

*

As long as Nature remains what it is, the law of ignorance reigns. But a day will come when the Truth will manifest and terrestrial immortality will be one of its results.

But he [Sri Aurobindo] knew everything — so why did he once again enact this game of birth and death?

Because he came to the earth not for his personal satisfaction but to give a new impetus to terrestrial life and hasten the transformation.

13 December 1966

*

Will the Grace protect us from the consequences of our insincerity?

Yes, provided you remain sincere to your faith in It! Or, more practically, if you allow It to do it and in the process do not undo the work It does.

14 December 1966

*

In an experience I felt (or rather I was) an intense unformed aspiration — there moral good and evil and even spiritual values had no importance. I could have been a beast or a divine being — it would have changed nothing. Oh, to be that intensity always …

This is truly very good. It is the forerunner of a state that can be constant.

15 December 1966

*

As a friend I am asking You to pray to the Lord to send me a sign or give me a call, for my heart is in anguish.

Both the sign and the call are already there. But you must open the eyes of your heart to see the sign, and you must keep your mind silent to hear the call.

16 December 1966

*

This year was hard, yes, very hard for me. Will You grant that ’67 will be a year full of You?

I am always there — in you, with you constantly, but you do not perceive it because you are thinking of other things, maybe a little too much of yourself …

17 December 1966

*

Despite myself, make me see the sign and hear the call. I love You.

And if I tell you that you see and you hear, but your ego refuses to recognise it!…

Happy birthday!

18 December 1966

*

Love for You. This is the cause and this is the solution. I found it through a simple experience.

This simple experience must now become a constant reality — and all will be well.

19 December 1966

*

“O living inscription of the beauty of love.” I am so close to You in my heart.

Now that is good and true, and it should give you continuous happiness.

20 December 1966

*

Indian tradition says that the name of God has more power than a god. Is it true?

Undoubtedly. This means that the sound OM, which evokes the Supreme, is more powerful than a god of the “Overmind”.

21 December 1966

*

When You speak of Truth, what do you mean?

Truth is one of the attributes or aspects of the Supreme Lord. It cannot be described mentally, but one can live it if one gives oneself to it totally.

22 December 1966

*

“Sometimes naked, sometimes mad, now as a scholar, again as a saint. Thus they appear on the earth, the Paramahansas.”— Shankaracharya

Isn’t this rather a sign of weakness than of a growth of consciousness?

Yes, certainly. Formerly in spiritual life, one did not care about the body; one even despised it, and at the first opportunity it was rejected and its imperfections became apparent.

23 December 1966

*

Is it possible for You to have and feel all the reactions of human life? If so, to what extent and under what conditions?

Like this, the question makes no sense.

All that the Lord wants me to feel, I feel.

All that the Lord wants me to know, I know.

All that the Lord wants me to do, I do.

25 December 1966

*

Make me an optimistic being. There is something that still clings…

It is the old habit — but it will pass.

27 December 1966

*

Even human love, when it takes hold of us, gives us joy — but inevitably it is followed by suffering. Why?

This world is impermanent and all is passing. Love in its essence and origin is eternal, but the forms in which it manifests on earth are impermanent. It is this in the human consciousness that veils the felicity inherent in love.

29 December 1966

*

What is the place of comfort and luxury here in the Ashram?

Comfort and luxury are tolerated but not encouraged because they are not necessary for yoga, though one who is truly sincere can learn detachment and equanimity even in the lap of comfort and luxury — but it is more difficult.

30 December 1966

*

The end of the year and with it the end of unhappiness. You wished me “a very happy new year” and with all my trust I am guarding your wish.

Yes, be quiet and trusting — then the wish will be fulfilled.

Happy New Year!

31 December 1966

*

The first step towards one’s soul is to awaken in one’s heart gratitude for the Divine Grace.

c. 1966-1967

*

Who do you call a true friend? Why? Do these qualities exist in a being on earth?

A true friend is a person (man or woman) who helps you to progress towards the Divine. Certainly there are beings who can do this on earth. And the best way to find one is to be a true friend to those who are around you.

c. 1966-1967

*

Is there a reason for what one does? Everything seems like a badly acted comedy.

There is a reason or rather a purpose for all that one does: it is to become conscious of the Divine. But since nearly all are unaware of this purpose, the comedy is indeed very badly acted and seems absurd.

c. 1966-1967

*

Happy New Year to You, O Love!

Happy New Year! In Peace, Love and Joy.

1 January 1967

*

After Sri Aurobindo’s prophecy for the year 1967 (the realisation of the Supramental upon earth), what will be its visible results?

Sri Aurobindo has never written or said that in 1967 the Supramental will be realised upon earth. He has simply written that we will begin to see the effect of the action of the Supramental Power on the governments of different countries.

It is only this that one should expect, [end of reply missing]

2 January 1967

*

There are quite a few things that go on in Your name — “Mother said”, “Mother wants”, etc. Your name only serves to support the desire of those who speak.

I know it very well. That is why I always warn those who don’t know, that they should never believe those who say “Mother wants”, “Mother said”, etc.

3 January 1967

*

So until people change, will You continue like this? The work is suffering and these people are not setting a good example — and Your difficulties…

If there is someone who can do the work better than me, I shall willingly give up my place!

4 January 1967

*

What a waste of all that you are giving us — a department with great capacity, but … especially money flows out of it like water. Will this always go on?

Which department are you speaking of? One of them or all?

It is not just a department or departments that are wasting here; it is nearly everyone or at least a large number of persons. That is why the situation is so difficult. It will end when each one will choose to serve the Truth.

But to be fair, it must be said that the opposite is there, and that a large number of individuals and even departments are trying to be as economical as possible and not only are they spending usefully but even helping to earn money and meet the general expenses.

7 January 1967

*

There are astrologers who speak about the possibility of the dissolution of Pakistan this year. Do You see this?

Up till now I have seen nothing precise.

8 January 1967

*

What I wrote to You was about a particular department. I don’t know what goes on in other departments, though one hears all sorts of things. But since I am working now in this department, I see and it is true: on the one hand You have sold all Your jewels, etc., and on the other You have paid for the satisfaction of someone’s personal desires. Can You explain this to me, O friend?

I did not sell my jewels or give whatever I had to maintain any department. It was to pay for food, for accommodation and for the domestic staff. And this last expense is truly false.

9 January 1967

*

Insult, self-respect and so on — do they have any place in sadhana?

Insult, self-respect and other such movements belong to the “ego” and they have no place in the yoga of transformation. As soon as one has found one’s psychic being and identified with it, all this seems ridiculously infantile — until the time comes when these things can no longer exist because they do not correspond to anything real.

10 January 1967

*

At times it seems so easy to change everything, even one’s nature. And at other times it is impossible. Why?

It depends on the state of consciousness one is in. When one is in the psychic and above, the work of transformation is relatively easy.

In the lower regions, vital and material, which are subject to desires and the iron law of habits, the task seems impossible. But in the end, nothing can resist the power of aspiration.

It is consciousness that brings perfection. On the degree of consciousness depends the degree of perfection.

11 January 1967

*

Perfection in work depends upon the time one spends on it, doesn’t it?

No, it depends on the power of concentration. The capacity to do something depends exclusively on the capacity to concentrate on what one does. And the greater the concentration, the more perfect the execution.

12 January 1967

*

Intensity of desire can be transformed into aspiration, can’t it?

The two movements are of a different nature.

The vibration of desire wants to take and possess.

The vibration of aspiration gives itself.

13 January 1967

*

Things are not going well. Surely there is a reason, but…

One is made up of many parts. They are not all at the same level of consciousness and development. Moreover, one is immersed in the general atmosphere and it is not possible to escape the contagion completely.

14 January 1967

*

You say that perfection depends on consciousness. Does this mean that the more one is at the height of one’s consciousness, the more perfect in work one is? But I know people who work as perfectly as possible but are ordinary.

They cannot be “ordinary” and do perfect work. Surely their physical consciousness of the material world is highly developed and they must have great concentration in their work.

15 January 1967

*

Tradition speaks of obedience to the Guru, but nowhere is this clearly explained. Can You explain it?

The Guru should be considered as a representative of the Supreme Lord. Therefore one owes him the same absolute obedience that one owes the Supreme Lord.

16 January 1967

*

When one thinks of someone, is one with him?

Yes, mentally and sometimes vitally if the sensation of his presence is very strong.

17 January 1967

*

If it [obedience to the Guru] is the same obedience that one gives to the Lord, it will be very easy — for we are neither conscious of the Lord nor of His will. Perhaps He demands nothing from us because He is all. But a Guru…

All this is a most superficial and ignorant way of seeing things and expressing them.

In this state of mind, one understands nothing about anything.

18 January 1967

*

More and more it seems that the Ashram is changing into a society with goodwill towards the Divine. Is this what You wanted to do when fifty years ago You started a spiritual community (the Ashram)?

I never started a spiritual community and I never wanted to make one, because this was never Sri Aurobindo’s will. What he wanted me to do I have done, and I continue to do what he wanted to do, in accordance with the divine will.

19 January 1967

*

Are You also angry with me? I put my doubts and questions before You for you to shed light on them.

No, I am not angry. But precisely because you ask me questions, I think you are sincere and want the true answer — so I give it even if it is not pleasant.

20 January 1967

*

Here is an experience: Since the beginning of this year I see and feel that in spite of myself I am on the path. If You can work this miracle in me, the day is not far when this little world called “the Ashram” will change. You are the true Friend.

This is good, my child; may the Supreme Lord bless you.

21 January 1967

*

Often I feel very strongly that one (all of us) can do many things — we can, in a certain sense, create a very beautiful little world here. But on the other hand, we more and more cling to our egos.

Yes, the ego resists as much as it can before disappearing.

22 January 1967

*

I would like to do something for You — an activity that could bring material benefits — but nothing seems to be working out. What to do?

Persevere.

23 January 1967

*

When You are in a perfect union with the Lord, does Your body continue with its functions?

The communion is constant and it is through this that the work of transformation is being done. But it is a long and slow work whose visible results will be last.

24 January 1967

*

You can identify with anyone, and that is how You know what is going on, isn’t it?

Yes, something like that.

25 January 1967

*

If the visible results will be last, they will be miracles and not gradual changes — isn’t that so?

I will tell you when it happens.

26 January 1967

*

Then in that case, by its very nature You must know the Truth of each event…

Yes.

and Your will is, in a certain sense, the most powerful will on earth, isn’t it?

It does not exist.

The Lord’s will is all-powerful and this body is conscious of it in proportion to the purity and transparency of its consciousness.

27 January 1967

*

Why don’t You say all that is happening in You? Surely it is a lot more interesting than what we are.

In “Notes on the Way” (Bulletin), I am giving something of what can be understood.

28 January 1967

*

More and more You are taking care of the smallest details of my life. Why do You do so much for me? You are the only person I love without fear.

All that I do, I do out of love.

29 January 1967

*

I depend on You. Everything is blocked.

It will get unblocked!

30 January 1967

*

Yes, You speak about Your experiences in the Bulletin, but You leave many things out as well. Why?

Because nobody would understand.

31 January 1967

*

Here too we have started a sort of religion. Is this inclination in men to reduce everything to religion inevitable?

It is not at all inevitable. It is the mind that likes dogmas (the inevitable basis of religions), because this avoids the bother of seeking to know always more and better.

I am progressively demolishing all dogma.

1 February 1967

*

Is man the centre of the occult world as he is of the mental one?

There is not one occult world but many occult worlds that are governed by the beings of each of these worlds.

2 February 1967

*

If You continue to give money so freely to certain departments, how do You think they will change their methods and habits?

I do not work in the usual way by trying to correct the outside. I act from within outward to change the causes, which automatically changes the effects.

3 February 1967

*

In the Bulletin of August 1958, You end the conversation titled “The True Superman” by saying, “If things continue to move at this speed, it is more than possible, it is almost evident, that what Sri Aurobindo wrote in a letter is becoming a prophetic announcement: ‘The supramental consciousness will enter into a phase of realising power in 1967.’”

Neither You nor Sri Aurobindo have spoken of governments or politics. If You have some time, read this conversation. It is marvellous.

When it is a question of active power, it is always a question of government, because without control over the government, power is incomplete on the material plane.

4 February 1967

*

It happens that I catch the thoughts of others before they have them. How?

If it is before they have them, it is because they are thoughts that come to them from outside, from the atmosphere, and you catch them before they enter their heads. If it is before they express them in words, it means that you read their minds directly, so you catch what they want to say even before they have spoken.

5 February 1967

*

In this lonely life You are the only refuge. Never leave me.

I have no intention of leaving you.

6 February 1967

*

I don’t know what to do. Help me, O friend!

Instead of trying to do something which is necessarily artificial, wait in peace for the Lord to make you do something which will necessarily be a divine action and give you the plenitude you desire.

7 February 1967

*

Time is passing. I have been here for fifteen years and what have I found? Nothing! My soul is as veiled as ever.

Despite all the help given and all the opportunities offered, those who have a dissatisfied nature will always be dissatisfied. But they are making progress in spite of themselves.

8 February 1967

*

Do You think that the Lord will tell me what to do some day? I think He is too busy …

Do not speak like the stupid, ignorant people who imagine that the Supreme Lord is a magnified man!

The Supreme Lord is in you, and if you sincerely want it, He will guide you. Or rather, he is always guiding you, but you are not listening to him. You are listening only to your “ego”, which cries very loudly.

9 February 1967

*

I was always happy and I want always to be happy — and it is You who must make me happy.

I am quite willing to make you happy, always happy, but your happiness must coincide with the Will of the Lord, for I am only the Will of the Lord. So I advise you to will what He wills; then all will be well.

10 February 1967

*

One can be free only after having shaken off the slavery of desires.

Love and blessings

Given with the power to do it

19 December 1968

*

(The French disciple Pavitra, Phillipe Barbier Saint Hilaire, passed away on 16 May 1969. What follows in Gautam’s report of what the Mother said to him on the same day.)

Mother to Gautam (at about 10 o’clock in the morning)

He [Pavitra] came to me at night. He did something I wasn’t expecting. I didn’t know he was capable of doing it because he never told me. He entered into me; he lost all his individuality. Now there is no difference between bodies.

From the beginning, that is, from the time he came here, he was always sincere with a perfect self-offering, not a minute of wavering.

If it was like this, Mother, why did he have to suffer so much?

Do you think that the Divine is like a school teacher — if you do good I give you a toffee and if you do bad I must punish you? That is not how these things work. It depends on the general condition of the world and the present state of people’s consciousness.

Must he come back and start over the next time?

I am telling you that he has entered into me and there is no next time for him. He has entered into his origin in full consciousness and he is very happy.

He worked for the whole world …

He is a beautiful example for everyone …

Do you want to be like him?

16 May 1969

[1] This sentence and the next were written by the Mother in the third person.

[2] The disciple had been working directly with the Mother.

[3] Mind, life, body and soul.

Series Nine
Correspondence with Shyam Sundar

Born on 5 May 1927, Shyam Sundar Jhunjhunwalla was a lawyer and businessman living in Calcutta. From 1949 he began visiting the Ashram regularly and finally joined it on 1 January 1965 at the age of thirty-seven. In February 1971 the Mother appointed him as her secretary for Auroville affairs, a position he held for about a decade. In 1972 he became the editor of the monthly journal Sri Aurobindo’s Action and remained its editor for nearly forty years. He also wrote, compiled or translated a number of books. He lived in the Ashram (and sometimes in Auroville) for forty-six years, until his passing on 28 July 2011 at the age of eight-four.

In this correspondence, Shyam Sundar’s questions and comments elicit from the Mother many truths about spiritual life and its practice. The correspondence is in French and appears here in translation. It covers the period from 1966 to 1970.

How can my effort to serve the Divine become more perfect?

By wanting Him more and more in every part of your being — integrally.

11 October 1966

*

Men, countries, continents!

The choice is imperative:

Truth or the abyss.[1]

The Mother

A prayer: May I make the choice consciously, sincerely and integrally, as the Divine Mother wishes.

A happy new year of great progress towards the light and the total consecration.

1 January 1967

*

In 1958 the Mother said, “If things go on advancing at this speed, it seems more than possible, almost evident, that what Sri Aurobindo wrote in a letter is a prophetic announcement: ‘The supramental consciousness will enter a phase of realising power in 1967.’”[2]

Have things advanced at the required speed?

Yes.

2 January 1967

*

Can I try to make my nights conscious? I pray for Your guidance.

1) A short concentration before going to sleep, with an aspiration to remember the activities of the night when you wake up.

2) When you wake up, do not make any sudden movement of the head and keep still for a few minutes, with a concentration to remember what happened during your sleep.

3) Repeat these exercises every day until you begin to perceive a result.

18 January 1967

*

Something in my being rushes towards You and wants to remain at Your feet. This movement occurs repeatedly, almost spontaneously, without emotion. Is there a significance?

It is your psychic being, the terrestrial individualisation of your soul, which wants to realise the divine life during its human life.

28 January 1967

*

In the human being, is the psychic being the entire soul or do both the soul (in its essence as a spark of the Divine in all creatures) and the psychic being exist together?

The soul is the eternal essence at the centre of the psychic being. The soul is indeed like a divine spark which puts on many states of being of increasing density, down to the most material; it is in the body, within the solar plexus, so to speak. These states of being take form and develop, make progress, become individualised and are perfected in the course of many, many earthly lives and form the psychic being. When the psychic being is fully formed, it is aware of the consciousness of the soul and manifests it perfectly.

Blessings

1 February 1967

*

The spiritual goal You have shown to me for my present life is very high and far off. On the other hand, I have wasted much time and energy leading the ordinary life and my aspiration is not yet constant. But I feel that if the Mother is with me, I will attain the goal. I pray that You may be with me.

I am with you and I will lead you to the goal.

Keep an unshakable faith and all will be well.

Blessings

6 February 1967

*

When I concentrate on You in my heart, sometimes Your image disappears and I see only a Light. This transition takes place instantaneously, but very smoothly. I have begun to love this Light. Its colour is white, but sometimes it has a blue tinge. What do the two colours signify?

The white is integrality, totality. It is the light of the Mahashakti. When it is tinged with blue, it indicates Sri Aurobindo’s presence.

9 February 1967

*

The “Savitri” exhibition is full of paintings depicting Savitri, the ascent of the being, the descent of the divinity, and the divine play. The paintings radiate a light that is as beautiful as it is strong, similar to what I feel near You. Is this my imagination or is it true?

It is quite true and I am glad that you have seen it.

13 February 1967

*

As soon as I meet or see certain people, certain lower, wrong vibrations arise in me. This is an invariable habit, in spite of the fact that I want to get rid of these reactions. What should I do?

The radical method is to cut off all mental and vital connection with these people; but until you know how to do this, you must persistently eliminate from your consciousness the effect produced by their influence.

18 February 1967

*

You have said: “The Divine is with you according to your aspiration. Naturally this does not mean that He bends to the caprices of your outer nature — I speak here of the truth of your being. And yet, sometimes He does fashion himself according to your outer aspiration, and if, like the devotees, you live alternately in separation and union, ecstasy and despair, the Divine also will separate from you and unite with you, according as you believe. The attitude is thus very important, even the outer attitude.”[3]

What is the meaning of “outer aspiration” and “outer attitude”? What is the best outer attitude?

Unless one practises yoga in the physical being (the outer being), it remains ignorant — even its aspiration is ignorant and so is its goodwill; all its movements are ignorant and so they distort and disfigure the Divine Presence.

That is why the yoga of the cells of the body is indispensable.

25 February 1967

*

When I see Your symbol, either with my physical eyes or when it appears during meditation, most often I see it in movement, turning like a disc. Mother, why the movement?

Movement is the symbol of the progressive evolution of the creation.

1 March 1967

*

“The Dawn that does not pass away”[4] — what spiritual state does this marvellous Dawn represent?

Perpetual renewal.

6 March 1967

*

This is how I understand the Purusha:

The Lord is the Supreme Purusha, the Purushottama.

The Atman is the universal Purusha.

The Jivatman is the individual Purusha and the physical Purusha, the vital Purusha, the mental Purusha and the secret Purusha in the heart are projections of it.

The soul is the Purusha that enters into the evolution.

Is my understanding correct?

This is one way of putting it. Mental definitions are never more than approximations, ways of speaking.

10 March 1967

*

My body is very weak and full of unconsciousness and tamas. How can this body become Your good instrument?

At the centre of each cell lies the Divine Consciousness. By aspiration and repeated self-giving, the cells must be made transparent.

18 March 1967

*

“To be aware of the consciousness of the soul” — is this the same thing as to unite with the Divine?

To become aware of the consciousness of the soul is the surest and easiest way to unite with the Divine.

25 March 1967

*

The region below my heart harbours parts of my being that are very dark and recalcitrant. I feel that for more than three months You have been acting especially on this region and that, in spite of the lack of collaboration on my part, You have awakened a flame there. Now it has to be guarded and strengthened. Is my feeling right?

Yes, it is right. It is the flame of Agni that I have kindled, the flame of psychic aspiration that opens the way leading to the Divine. Without this flame of Agni, no spiritual progress is possible. Now you are beginning to advance on the path.

1 April 1967

*

You are giving all that we need, but my capacity to receive is very limited since it takes me a long time to assimilate even the little I am able to receive.

Untroubled, I pray: How can the situation be improved?

This difficulty usually comes from a lack of unification of the being. Certain parts are recalcitrant and refuse to receive. They have to be educated little by little, just as one educates a child — and little by little too the situation will improve.

7 April 1967

*

Looking at the present state of the world, we can say that the worst has already happened. We await the day when the Lord will take the earth into His arms and “the earth will be transformed”. Is that day drawing near?

It may very well be that this is what is happening now — but it is not on the human scale.

One moment of the Lord probably means many years for us!

12 April 1967

*

Although there is a certain charm and poetry in the fact that there is no formal date for the creation of our Ashram, could it be said from the true occult point of view that the Ashram was born with the Mother’s arrival?

The Ashram was born in 1926, a few years after my return from Japan.

17 April 1967

*

The Lord told You: “One day thou wilt be my head but for the moment turn thy gaze towards the earth.”[5]

Sweet Mother, what does “thou wilt be my head” mean?

The head is the original conceiving Consciousness.

22 April 1967

*

One morning I saw a white light tinged with blue rising from below and gradually enveloping You, like the petals of a lotus. The light was solid and fluid at the same time. What does this signify, Sweet Mother?

It was probably an aspiration rising from the subconscient.

27 April 1967

*

When I want to be closer to You, I see that I must overcome my ego. But when I think of overcoming my ego, I see that I must be closer to You. How can I solve this problem?

The Grace is there to solve it.

1 May 1967

*

How can I be Your good child?

By being yourself, quite simply, very simply …

5 May 1967

*

When I am able to offer You money or some object, it brings great joy to me, and when some part of my being offers itself to You the joy I feel is even greater. But in spite of this experience, my whole being is not offered to You. What stupidity! How can I change this?

One is made up of many different parts which have to be unified around the psychic being, if one is conscious of it, or at least around one’s central aspiration. If this unification is not done, one carries this division within oneself.

To do this, each thought, each feeling, each sensation, each impulse, each reaction, as it manifests, must be presented in the consciousness to the central being or its aspiration. What is in accord with it is accepted; what is not in accord is refused, rejected or transformed.

It is a long endeavour which may take many years — but once it is done, the unification is achieved and the path becomes swift and easy.

10 May 1967

*

In silence I prayed to You to accept me, me as I am, with all my imperfections.

In silence and in Your mercy, You gave me Your acceptance. This acceptance, I later understood, requires that I aspire to be more and more pure and worthy of Your Grace.

I write this letter in order to verify my reception of Your response.

Certainly I have accepted you as you are, and this acceptance means that I will lead you to your divine goal in spite of all difficulties and obstacles.

Blessings

14 May 1967

*

How can I get rid of the habit of feeling that I own the material things that belong to me?

If you belong entirely and totally to the Divine, then all that belongs to you, all that forms part of your material being, belongs to the Divine.

16 May 1967

*

Sometimes I think that the Agni You have kindled in me is going to burn up all that separates me from You. What should I do to contribute to its fulfilment?

Each time that you discover in yourself something that denies or resists, throw it into the flame of Agni, which is the fire of aspiration.

19 May 1967

*

Is it possible to make my hands conscious so that they do nothing imperfect, incorrect or wrong? What is the way to do it, Divine Mother?

It is quite possible, by concentrating on the hands when they are doing something.

The hands of painters, sculptors, musicians (especially pianists) are usually very conscious and always are skilful. It is a question of training.

29 May 1967

*

I want to overcome a difficulty: it is that when I see faults or weaknesses in myself, something tries to justify them or to prevent me from attending to them.

This “something” is the insincerity of an ignorant self-esteem which has not yet understood that it is nobler and loftier to recognise one’s faults in order to correct them, than to conceal them in the hope that they will not be noticed.

As for all psychological problems, here too sincerity, a total and uncompromising sincerity, is the true remedy.

1 June 1967

*

I want to offer my being to You like a beautiful rose. But alas! as soon as I make the gesture I see many thorns in it and I cannot complete the offering. The thorns must be removed, O Mother, they must be removed. Perhaps the offering itself is the way to do it.

Yes, little by little the thorns drop off. It is by constant renewal of the offering that they disappear.

Blessings

7 June 1967

*

Please tell me how I can get rid of the past, which clings so heavily.

To get rid of the past is something so difficult that it seems almost impossible.

But if you give yourself to the future, entirely and without reserve, and if this giving is constantly renewed, the past will fall away by itself and no longer encumber you.

14 June 1967

*

Although I am very far from the state in which I can always remain at Your feet, I pray that You lead me there.

The fastest way is to unite with your psychic being more and more, because your psychic being is very intimately near to me.

Blessings

20 June 1967

*

One morning as I was reading Your book Prayers and Meditations, I wished to know which movement comes first, “to live in Thee” or “to live for Thee”. Before the mind could set to work to find the answer, the reply that came to me spontaneously was this: “The two states are complementary to each other.”

Yes, the two states are complementary, but that does not necessarily mean that they are simultaneous. Most often, “to live for Thee” comes first and, if the being is unified and sincere, “to live in Thee” soon follows.

But of course, for the first to be perfect, the second must be present.

24 June 1967

*

Since yesterday morning the lower vital has been raising its evil head and I am trying to reject its movements. I pray to You to enable me to act radically and without pity.

The direct struggle is sometimes difficult. But to let the impulse subside by concentrating all one’s energies in a psychic aspiration is a very effective method.

1 July 1967

*

Your hands are open to give everything, but I can only receive a small part of it because I am not receptive enough.

This is the exact image of the state of the world which suffers because it is not receptive when it could live in beatitude if it would open to the Divine Love.

But there is a remedy:

Sincere and constant aspiration.

6 July 1967

*

Your Grace has calmed the vital; the clouds are disappearing.

I pray that the future may be a sunlit path.

Pranam and gratitude.

Have faith. The Light is with you and will never leave you.

9 July 1967

*

I have begun to see that both the personal effort of the sadhak and its result depend on the Divine Grace.

About this, one could say humorously that we are all divine, but we are hardly even aware of it, and that in us which is unaware it is divine is what we call “ourselves”.

13 July 1967

*

A divine face with eyes emitting two rays of light — white rays, vertical and motionless. What does this signify, Sweet Mother?

When the beings or forces of the invisible worlds manifest themselves to the consciousness of an individual, they put on forms that are appropriate to his system of symbols — which makes it difficult to explain someone’s visions unless his system is known in detail.

However, according to the description, it could be a force or an entity manifesting the light of Truth.

16 July 1967

*

To establish the reign of the Divine on earth, who is slower — man or the Divine Himself?

To man the Divine seems slow.

In the eyes of the Divine man is slow indeed!

But perhaps in these two cases, the slowness is not the same.

20 July 1967

*

Useless material thoughts have become troublesome, but they do not wait for my invitation or permission to enter — they simply come, they simply come. A strong sentinel has to be posted.

The sentinel is a conscious will for silence.

But for this to be completely effective, the silence must be totally motionless and alert, turned upward like a pure white sheet, to receive the light that comes from above.

23 July 1967

*

Since yesterday morning, spontaneously and sweetly, the following prayer has been rising up from my heart at times: “Let me melt in You.”

I hope You have already heard it.

The prayer is coming straight to me, not only in words but with the warmth of your consciousness.

27 July 1967

*

May I know whether it is true that after death a dead man very often returns in his daughter’s child?

First the dead man must have a daughter in order to be reborn in her child.

It is not an absolute rule — far from it — but the case is quite frequent in India where the belief in frequent reincarnations is still quite common.

30 July 1967

*

When I offer money to You, the “I” spoils the offering. Let the “I” disappear, O Divine Mother, let the pure and true consciousness be established in Your child.

That he knows it is already very good. He is on the way to liberation.

1 August 1967

*

Each time I go to You to make Pranam, You do something in my consciousness and Your joy and sweetness bathe me entirely. I return, a few days pass, and soon the yearning to bow down before You again and be blessed by Your divine hands becomes a thirst, an aspiration.

When you feel like this, why not come in the afternoon about 3.30 — I shall always have a minute to see you and bless you.

3 August 1967

*

I am infinitely grateful to You for Your reply. Indeed You are opening a new chapter in my life. If my whole being could surrender to You, ever more and more, what happiness!

My blessings are with you.

4 August 1967

*

I asked myself, “How can one express the inexpressible?” The reply came, “By living it, by becoming it, by being it.” What does the Mother say?

That is correct.

7 August 1967

*

One thing escapes my understanding: how can You find time to do all that You do? Perhaps physical time does not exist for You!

The body is able to bear the pressure of time because it knows and feels quite concretely that it does not itself live and act, but only the Supreme Lord exists and He alone lives and acts.

This, moreover, is the secret of all endurance.

12 August 1967

*

Instead of struggling against my impurities, I would like to make them crumble like dust or burn them up in the flame of Agni.

That is good.

But the most powerful remedy is to open oneself more and more completely to the Divine Love, which is changed in our consciousness into love for the Divine; its very presence consumes all impurities.

19 August 1967

*

Here is an amusing phrase from an anonymous author: “Thank God, I am an atheist.”

The phrase would be even more amusing if he had written:

“Thank God for making me an atheist.”

22 August 1967

*

From what I understand, You said that the psychic beings of the disciples of the Ashram all belong to the same family. In spite of this, there is often a lack of collaboration among us. Why is that, Mother?

If I did say this (probably not quite in those words), it could only refer to a universal family open to all differences and even all divergences.

But in any case, mutual misunderstanding and lack of collaboration can only come from the outer being, physical and vital, which is formed in this life and is not yet under the rule and influence of the psychic. As soon as one is united with one’s psychic, all the conflicts due to clashing bad wills are no longer able to exist.

24 August 1967

*

(The Mother asked the disciple to formulate four prayers, so he wrote:)

The four prayers are formulated thus:

Let the psychic govern my whole being.

Let the divine purity fill me.

Let me belong solely and integrally to You.

Let me unite with the Divine.

Now it is Your turn, isn’t it, O Divine Mother, to grant my prayers and make me succeed!

It is settled, the prayers are granted. As for the speed of success, it depends on the sincerity of your aspiration; that is to say, the entire being, as a whole and in all its parts, must participate in it.

Blessings

26 August 1967

*

May I know how it is that of all the gods, it is Ganesh whose statue stands on Your table?

Because Ganesh is a friend who for twelve consecutive years gave me very concrete proofs of his friendship.

I will tell you the story some day when there is time.

29 August 1967

*

How can one use shadow to realise the Light?

Painters use shadow to bring out the light.

Shadow is the symbol of the inconscient. This is where men rest at night from the effort of the day in order to become conscious. When consciousness becomes all-powerful, shadow will no longer be necessary and it will disappear.

4 September 1967

*

To come down from Your room is to fall into another world, and to go out of the Ashram to other towns is to fall into yet another world.

How to build a bridge between the three?

You yourself, like all those who are conscious and consecrated, are the bridge.

17 September 1967

*

It is said that there are certain methods in the Tantras to open the chakras from below, whereas in the integral yoga the chakras open from above by the descent of the Mother’s force.

What is the difference between the results of the opening of the chakras in these two systems?

In Sri Aurobindo’s integral yoga, there are no such rigid rules and distinctions. Each one follows his own path and has his own experiences. Nevertheless, Sri Aurobindo has often said and written that his yoga begins where the others leave off.

In other words, yoga ordinarily consists in awakening the physical consciousness and making it rise gradually towards the Divine, whereas Sri Aurobindo has said that to do his yoga, one must already have found the Divine and united with Him. Then the consciousness descends through all the states of being down to the most material, bringing the Divine Force with it so that the Force can transform the whole being and finally divinise the physical body.

20 September 1967

*

In the message for the radio You substituted the word “union” for the word “unity”.[6] May I know, Sweet Mother, why this change was made?

Because most people, when they hear the word “unity”, understand uniformity, and nothing can be further from the truth.

25 September 1967

*

Does spontaneity come spontaneously or does one have to follow a discipline to obtain it?

Spontaneity in feelings and action comes from permanent contact with the psychic, which brings order into the thoughts and automatically controls the vital impulses.

30 September 1967

*

This afternoon I forgot one thing. The day before yesterday I spontaneously prayed to You to destroy all that is hostile in me, as Durga kills the Asuras.

Durga does not kill the Asuras; she reigns over them and makes it impossible for them to destroy.

In essence, all is the Supreme Lord and has to return to the Supreme Lord for an ultimate transformation.

Death is only an expedient — surrender is the victory.

11 October 1967

*

I await the day when my ignorant “I” will be changed by You into “That”.

“That” is at the very bottom of the “I”. Dig deep and you will find Him.

16 October 1967

*

You have taught me the importance of awakening the Divine Consciousness in the body, and now I pray to You to make my body aspire towards You.

The cells of the body thirst for the Divine Consciousness and when they are put in contact with It their aspiration becomes very intense.

21 October 1967

*

It seems that my ambitions no longer exist. Now there is an aspiration — it is to be simply what You want.

That is the best condition for advancing swiftly on the path.

26 October 1967

*

One morning when I read the following words, “My soul is in prayer … and my body too; and my thought is silent in a mute ecstasy”,[7] something entered into my very body. I hope that it remains and increases.

The work is being done all the time and one advances even when one does not know it. But now, for you, the progress is rapid.

6 November 1967

*

Two extremely rich men who claim to be very religious and virtuous, are not paying what they owe me according to their accounts. One of them refuses to speak to me about it and the other says, “Have trust in God, you will not lose your money.”

If the Mother could make these two men honest (even temporarily, long enough for them to settle this affair)…

It is said that Christ healed the sick and even raised the dead. One day an idiot was brought to him to be cured. But Christ slipped away, saying that to make a dumb man intelligent is impossible.

To make a dishonest man honest is an even more impossible miracle.

8 November 1967

*

Which is swifter for transformation: Divine Love or Mahakali’s force?

Kali’s force is necessary only for those who are not yet open to Divine Love. For one who is open to Divine Love, nothing more is needed.

11 November 1967

*

Before going to sleep I remember You and when I wake up I remember You. But during sleep I wander off — I move away from Your feet.

Let me be with you in your excursions into the vital world, and all will go well.

15 November 1967

*

The fall in my consciousness is being felt more often and is becoming more unpleasant, but I am unable to prevent it.

This perception is proof of a great progress in consciousness and the sign that you will soon find the remedy.

20 November 1967

*

Since the beginning of this week, I sometimes see a light around You, a white light, bluish and golden — rather there is a rain of this light!

This proves that you are open to Sri Aurobindo’s presence.

25 November 1967

*

By Your Grace, my body is now collaborating to get rid of its laziness. That even the body has a will of its own is a new experience for me.

When the body is converted, it knows how to collaborate.

29 November 1967

*

Which came first in the manifestation, God or the Asura?

The oldest tradition says that the first four emanations of the Mahashakti — Consciousness, Love, Truth and Life — cut themselves off (separated themselves) from their Supreme Origin and became Unconsciousness, Suffering, Falsehood and Death.

Then a second emanation was made to repair the damage. They are the Gods.

Naturally, this is a way of speaking which corresponds to a Reality that is difficult to put into words.

2 December 1967

*

Transformation demands a very high degree of aspiration, surrender and receptivity, doesn’t it?

Transformation demands a total and integral consecration. But isn’t that the aspiration of every sincere sadhak?

Total means vertically in all the states of being, from the most material to the most subtle.

Integral means horizontally in all the different and often contradictory parts which make up the outer being (physical, vital and mental).

4 December 1967

*

When I contemplate Sri Aurobindo, sometimes Your image appears, and when I concentrate on You, sometimes Sri Aurobindo’s image appears.

This phenomenon is quite natural.

6 December 1967

*

Within the heart a rose surrounded by red flames — what does it signify?

An intense aspiration full of love.

9 December 1967

*

I await the state in which my whole being will be a burning brazier of Agni.

It is coming, it is on the way. With a persistent will and constant remembrance, one can hasten its arrival considerably.

11 December 1967

*

Often I feel that the fragrance of the flowers given by the Mother is something extraordinary.

Flowers are very receptive and they are happy when they are loved.

15 December 1967

*

I have forgotten the Divine for so long in this life and in former lives. But a drop of Your Grace can enable me to make up for all the lost time.

Whatever the past may have been, it is not time that is needed to establish contact with the Divine, but sincerity of aspiration.

19 December 1967

*

Can one’s aspiration for the Divine have the required intensity and sincerity without the tears and anguish that are mentioned in nearly all the old legends of the saints?

Tears and anguish indicate the presence of a weak and paltry nature which is still unable to receive the Divine in all his power and glory. Not only are they unnecessary, they are useless and an obstacle to realisation.

23 December 1967

*

You put into Your words something which enables us to see the Truth that words cannot convey. What is it that accompanies Your words?

Consciousness.

27 December 1967

*

Consciousness is just the problem when I translate the works of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother into Hindi. How to bring true consciousness into the translation?

(The Mother explained that in making a translation it is bad (mauvais) to pass directly from English into Hindi with one’s consciousness at the same level, while it is good (bon), starting from the English, to rise up in one’s consciousness to obtain the right inspiration, and then come down into Hindi. To illustrate this, she drew the following sketch:)

28 December 1967

*

Sometimes I see You in the sky, in the moon, in the sun. And in all these places I am there at Your feet. An audacious fantasy of Your child, who is so mediocre!

It is not a fantasy. It corresponds to something true.

Every human being feels himself to be mediocre as soon as he strives to become divine.

29 December 1967

*

I think that always, at every moment, someone or other is calling You, and You respond. Doesn’t this disturb Your sleep or Your rest?

Day and night hundreds of calls are coming — but the Consciousness is always alert and it responds.

One is limited only materially by time and space.

3 January 1968

*

How is it that ordinarily the richer one is (materially), the more dishonest one is?

It is because material wealth is controlled by the adverse forces — and because they have not yet been converted to the Divine Influence, though the work has begun.

That victory will form part of the triumph of the Truth.

Wealth should not be a personal property and should be at the disposal of the Divine for the welfare of all.

4 January 1968

*

When Mother says that wealth should not be a personal property, I understand that what must come is more a change of psychological attitude on the part of those who have money than any change in the law of property.

Undoubtedly.

Only psychological change can be a solution.

6 January 1968

*

The disciples of the Ashram have a sure and easy way to put their money at the disposal of the Divine: they offer it to the Mother. But how can others do it? Can it be said that each one should get rid of the sense of property and spend his money according to the Divine command within, from time to time?

I am convinced that if someone is advanced enough on the path to receive the knowledge that money is an impersonal force and should be used for the progress of the earth, this person will be developed enough inwardly to receive the knowledge of how best to make use of the money.

8 January 1968

*

Four days ago, after midnight, I saw a rain of light in Your room enveloping You. I saw it again on the succeeding nights. Is it possible for me to bathe in this light?

The light is for all those who open themselves to it by sincere aspiration and self-giving.

I see nothing to prevent you from bathing in it.

13 January 1968

*

One morning when I was reading these words of Yours, “My body smiles at Thee with happiness as before my soul smiled at Thee!”,[8] I saw a window opening upon a high and beautiful vista. But this horizon is very far from me!

It will come.

You must not forget how many years this body has lived. And now what it achieves is contagious, and it passes its experience on to others according to their receptivity.

16 January 1968

*

Concern for my progress is giving way to an aspiration: the aspiration to put myself in Your hands so that You, O Divine Mother, may mould my being as You wish!

This is the best way and the quickest.

I accept the responsibility.

20 January 1968

*

A few days ago I wished to begin each day by making my Pranam to You. Since then, I wake up remembering You and I make my Pranam to You before anything else. It is Your Grace that has made this possible, and I hope that the Grace will hasten the constant remembrance.

Every day you will receive my response and my blessings for the day.

25 January 1968

*

The day before yesterday, as I was arranging my vase for You, I said to a flower, “Oh, you are going to Mother!” and it really smiled. The same thing happened again yesterday and today.

Well, that is very interesting! Was it a rose or a hibiscus?

27 January 1968

*

A hibiscus gave me this experience.

Yes, it is a very conscious flower — I have had many proofs of it.

27 January 1968

*

Is constant remembrance of the Divine the beginning of union?

A beginning of union comes even before constant remembrance. When the remembrance is constant, one often feels a Presence that imposes itself on the remembrance.

29 January 1968

*

One day I spoke to You about the laziness of my body and it began to diminish. I hope that Your Grace will now lead this very body to consecrate itself to You.

This is absolutely certain. Aspire with ardour (but without impatience) and it will happen soon.

2 February 1968

*

While speaking about the Transcendent Mother (and the upper petal of the Transformation flower), You said, “The Transcendent is both one and two (or dual) at the same time.” What does this mean?

Beyond the creation lies perfect Oneness, but potentially it contains duality since the Mahashakti will manifest for the needs of the creation.

5 February 1968

*

Last Monday You spoke to me about the Transcendent which is both one and two at the same time. Naturally, I shall wait for the true consciousness to come in order to have this knowledge. But yesterday I tried to note down what You said:

“The mind thinks about things in succession. But beyond and above, everything exists at the same time. The One is both one and two; the manifested and the unmanifested, everything exists at the same time. When It is objectified in the creation, in the manifestation, there is a succession: one, two … But this is only a way of speaking. There is no succession, no beginning. Beyond, in perfect Oneness, everything exists at the same time, simultaneously. This cannot be understood, it must be experienced; one can have the experience of it.”

Will you please correct these lines?

They are correct.

9 February 1968

*

I see in my heart a large flower bud, all white, around which wisps of smoke are rising, like those of incense.

It is the symbol of your psychic being. And if the bud is that of a lotus, it means that your psychic being is aspiring to manifest the Divine Consciousness.

12 February 1968

*

As a trial we have written to the Government of India to register the Ashram as the copyright owner of one of Sri Aurobindo’s works. Now I am filling out the form for the Mother’s “Conversations”. The form asks for the author’s nationality. What nationality can I put? French?

Do not fill out the form for my book or books. I do not claim any rights of authorship and I refuse to answer the question they ask.

It is true that this body was born in Paris and that its soul has declared that it is Indian, but I belong to no nation in particular. And as these administrations cannot understand this, I refuse to deal with them.

14 February 1968

*

Is the earth the only planet on which silver exists?

Probably. It depends how dense the other planets are. The astronomers would perhaps be able to say.

16 February 1968

*

One evening as I was saying, “What You want, what You want, but make me realise the Divine”, a voice rose from my heart, “Only what You want, what You want.”

This is good — the true attitude and the most effective one.

19 February 1968

*

On this blessed day, O Divine Mother, I am before You, forehead on the ground, my arms around Your feet in the hope of living there always, constantly.

Your aspiration will be fulfilled.

21 February 1968

*

Now I can see the possibility of having my whole being ruled by You, by Your Love. Would Mother hasten its fulfilment?

All is going well — as fast as it can go — for the being is multiple and its different parts have a sort of periodicity in their action, and we have to wait for each part’s turn to come, so that nothing is neglected.

7 March 1968

*

What is the difference between an emanation and a formation?

These words do not apply to the physical world as it is at present.

The explanation is only an approximation. One can say, however, that the emanation is made up of the very substance of the emanator, whereas the formation is made up of a substance external to the one who formed it.

To make a comparison, one could say that the emanation is like a child made from the substance of its mother, and the formation is like a living statue made out of a material external to the sculptor.

But of course this is only a very approximate explanation.

11 March 1968

*

In the supramental world, You are permanently there in a supramental body. Here we see You in the human body. What relation is there between these two bodies?

Very cordial, but not constant in a physical way …

19 March 1968

*

It seems to me that the very land of Auroville aspires. Is it true, Sweet Mother?

Yes, the land itself has a consciousness, even though this consciousness is not intellectualised and cannot express itself.

21 March 1968

*

The path is long, very long, almost interminable. But remaining at Your feet, I am not uneasy.

It is true that the path is very long, but for one who follows it with sincerity, it is truly very interesting, and at every step one is rewarded for one’s trouble.

23 March 1968

*

What relation is there between the wastage we, Your children, create and the shortage of money that has been raising its head in the Ashram for years?

The relation of cause and effect.

The cure lies in the sincere consecration of each and every one.

26 March 1968

*

Today You have shown me the basic incompatibility between human law and the Truth. But this is a problem that confronts me very often.

Politics and so-called justice are still, in humanity, what is most closed to the Truth. But their turn for conversion will also come, perhaps sooner than we think.

28 March 1968

*

I asked myself: “What do you want to be?”

The reply came like an aspiration: “Simply to be the Mother’s faithful child.”

This is very good.

The door is open to supreme realisations.

30 March 1968

*

Can one say that all waste reflects a waste of consciousness?

Waste of any kind is the result of unconsciousness.

Consciousness in its purity is perfect and infallible.

2 April 1968

*

The Upanishad says that when one sleeps, one reaches pure Being. Does this apply only to the Yogi or to everyone?

In theory, it applies to everyone. But the vast majority of human beings fall into unconsciousness, and if there is a contact with pure Being it is quite unconscious. Very few persons are conscious of this relation. It is usually the result of Yoga.

8 April 1968

*

I go to bed remembering You and by Your Grace I wake up remembering You. But my sleep continues to be altogether unconscious.

During sleep the inner beings become consciously active. When one wakes up, it is the waking being that is not conscious of the activities of the night.

16 April 1968

*

In the quotation chosen for tomorrow Sri Aurobindo speaks of the “Truth that seeks to descend upon us” and “is already there within us”.[9] Please explain this paradox which, I can feel, is only apparent.

It is not a paradox.

It is the same phenomenon as for the Divine who is at the centre of our being, etc. and at the same time is beyond the creation, the Divine towards whom the whole evolution is moving, but whom it could never reach if it did not carry him within itself.

One must go beyond notions of space and matter to be able to understand.

23 April 1968

*

Two days ago I prayed to You to give me a new birth and yesterday You sent me leaves with the same significance. May I take them as Your “Yes”?

Naturally. It is my answer to your prayer, which was heard.

25 April 1968

*

Yesterday, coming down from Your room I could not check my tears. There are bonds attached to me, or rather I am attached to them. Only Your Grace, O Divine Mother, can do what needs to be done.

You need not worry. When the hour of liberation comes, it will be done quite naturally — without tears.

6 May 1968

*

I wanted to offer You something nice, but I find only my weaknesses and imperfections.

That is the best offering, because it brings about a progress for the whole earth.

8 May 1968

*

When I thought of writing to You this morning about the night of bonds and attachments that have enveloped me for the last three weeks, I felt that all these things have actually been there for a long time and that now Your Grace has brought them to my notice so that the next step may be taken.

Mother, the night has already been very long for me. But it matters little, so long as I can continue to keep myself at Your feet.

According to my experience, one should not try to destroy or suppress. One should concentrate all one’s effort on building up and strengthening the true consciousness, which will automatically do the work of unifying the being.

In this way, everything that has to be transformed will be transformed quite naturally, without clash or damage.

13 May 1968

*

How to hasten the day when my whole being will be able to say, “I am Yours, Yours alone”?

There are two actions which in practice merge into one.

(1) Never forget the goal one wants to attain.

(2) Never allow any part of the being or any of its movements to contradict one’s aspiration.

This also makes it necessary to become conscious of one’s nights, because the activities of the night often contradict the aspiration of the day and undo its work.

Vigilance, sincerity, continuity of effort, and the Grace will do the rest.

20 May 1968

*

Even “good and innocent movements” are said to take on different colours in the light of the psychic flame.

The very notion of good and bad is completely changed.

One can say very simply that all that leads to the Divine is good, and all that leads away from the Divine is bad.

Many virtues lead away from the Divine by making men satisfied with what they are.

22 May 1968

*

Sri Aurobindo has written in Savitri:

“Yes, there are happy ways near to God’s sun;

But few are they who tread the sunlit path;

Only the pure in soul can walk in light.”[10]

What a joy it would be to possess the required purity!

When one is living among men with all their miseries, it is only the Grace that can bestow this state — even in those who by Tapasya have abolished their ego.

It is beyond all personal effort.

27 May 1968

*

What is the most effective way to overcome the ego?

The simplest and most effective way is to offer it to the Divine; the more sincere and radical this offering is, the faster the result will come.

28 May 1968

*

Now I can conceive that the Divine is all and everywhere, but I do not yet have the experience.

Because He is not on the surface and the appearance of things is false.

But if you concentrate in the psychic, you will at once feel that He is there, everywhere, luminous, radiant, vibrant with strength and love, and that without Him nothing could exist.

30 May 1968

*

To remain turned upwards and to live in the true consciousness — the two seem complementary to each other.

Are they not two ways of saying the same thing? — certainly two ways of doing the same thing.

3 June 1968

*

Who should be put on guard to sound the alert: “Attention! Turn upwards”?

It is what one usually calls conscience, but in fact it is the psychic being. And one can hear it only if one is very attentive, because it does not make any clamour.

5 June 1968

*

Your Presence makes itself felt in a concrete way, almost materially concrete. But this is still very rare for me.

It is good — be attentive and it will go on increasing.

10 June 1968

*

Is transparent sincerity a more effective, indispensable means, or is it a realisation in itself?

Without sincerity nothing can be done. With total sincerity everything is possible.

12 June 1968

*

What is the origin of man’s love for his own ignorance?

It is unconsciousness.

Unconsciousness is the negation of all effort. Ignorance (that is, the acknowledgement that there is something to be known which we do not know) is the first effect of the divine influence on the inconscient.

15 June 1968

*

Sri Aurobindo speaks of Savitri’s firmness of purpose in the following line:

“Immutable like a fixed eternal star.”[11]

Can one say that this kind of determination is demanded of the sadhak who aspires for transformation?

This is the great mystery of creation: immutable, yet eternally renewed.

17 June 1968

*

What must I do to tread the path without stumbling?

Fear nothing.

22 June 1968

*

Savitri says:

“Not only is there hope for godheads pure;

The violent and darkened deities

Leaped down from the one breast in rage to find

What the white gods had missed: they too are safe;

A mother’s eyes are on them and her arms

Stretched out in love desire her rebel sons.”[12]

What had the white gods missed?

The conversion of the Asuras.

24 June 1968

*

Isn’t the power of the Asuras as boundless as the power of the Gods?

The vibrations of evil are in truth less powerful than the vibrations of good.

26 June 1968

*

Can one say that total sincerity and the abolition of the ego are closely interdependent?

Only the Supreme Lord is perfectly sincere.

And when the ego is abolished, only the Supreme Lord exists.

28 June 1968

*

I can see that in spiritual life, even to sit down is to fall back. But most often I sit down without knowing it!

This is so true that one could rightly say: even while sleeping one must advance.

But there comes a time when the ascent becomes a perfect repose.

2 July 1968

*

Yesterday Mother said, “Even while sleeping one must advance.” But Her child is so poor that he has not yet succeeded in making his sleep conscious, and the night continues to be free to undo the work of the day.

Have you tried making a little prayer before going to sleep?

A prayer for the sleep to be an offering of the physical being to the Supreme Consciousness.

3 July 1968

*

Once Mother spoke to me about total sincerity. What does transparent sincerity mean?

Sincerity is compared to an atmosphere or a sheet of glass. If the one or the other is completely transparent, it lets light through without distorting it.

Similarly, a sincere consciousness lets divine vibrations through without distorting them.

8 July 1968

*

Can an individual achieve transformation even if the universe continues to be such as it is?

In the evolution, the individual is far ahead of the earth, but as long as he lives on earth there is a certain interdependence. But the condition of the earth is sure to become such that a supramental being will soon be able to live on it.

9 July 1968

*

I have not been able to make a total surrender and I do not feel happy, I feel an emptiness.

Patiently, tirelessly, the false movement, to whatever state of being it belongs, must be put before the Truth Consciousness for It to do the needful.

11 July 1968

*

What is the best attitude to have when I come to you?

To be happy!

25 July 1968

*

The Buddha said that Nirvana results in the cessation of rebirth. But isn’t the Divine always free to send back into the manifestation the spark that extinguishes itself in Him?

Naturally, each time that one makes a rule one makes a mistake.

Besides, the Buddha himself, although he has not taken up another physical body, has returned to work in the earth-atmosphere.

26 July 1968

*

If the universe is one, shouldn’t the liberation of one single person on earth have the power to liberate everyone?

Oneness means identity in origin; but in the manifestation each entity follows its own path of conscious return to the Oneness.

28 September 1968

*

In 1953 Mother said: “Whatever the way one follows, whether it be the religious way, the philosophical way, the yogic way, the mystic way, no one has realised transformation.”[13]

Can one hope that the sadhaks have now made good progress towards this goal?

Now the conditions are such that every sincere effort must necessarily tend towards this goal.

30 September 1968

*

How can one collaborate in the transformation?

Things are now so arranged that as soon as one collaborates for the Divine Dawn in any form, one necessarily collaborates in the transformation.

7 October 1968

*

The Divine is the goal, the path and the one who treads the path. But isn’t a person who is not advancing towards the Divine also the Divine?

All are the Divine, but very few are those who know it and fewer still are those who consciously want to realise it. This explains the long duration and difficulty of the creation if its goal is that all and everything should once more become consciously divine.

14 October 1968

*

One would like to have the fundamental realisation that the Divine is all and everything.

For that one must identify oneself with the Supreme Divine.

Once one is identified, when one turns towards the creation one sees and knows that the Divine alone exists both in the Essence and in the manifestation.

16 October 1968

*

Is immunity to the attack of adverse forces possible without transformation?

Immunity does not come automatically from transformation.

One has to cut off all connection with the manifested world in order to be immune.

But in any case, transformation gives the power of victory.

18 October 1968

*

Now my sleep is becoming more calm. I am able to keep a little more of my aspiration, a little more remembrance of You. Is this the beginning, no doubt very small, of the desired change for the nights?

Yes, it is a good beginning. In this way the nights will become more and more conscious.

20 October 1968

*

Is the Divine Love equal for all, even in the manifestation?

Yes, equal and immutable.

But the capacity to perceive and receive it and the habit of distorting it differ with each one.

22 October 1968

*

“The ideal sadhaka should be able to say in the Biblical phrase, ‘My zeal for the Lord has eaten me up.’”[14] Does this mean an intense, constant and integral aspiration?

Yes, it means that the entire being is absorbed in its consecration.

24 October 1968

*

Does the subconscient go on recording during sleep?

For most people, in their sleep, it is precisely what has been recorded in the subconscient during the day or previously which becomes active again and constitutes their dreams.

26 October 1968

*

Looking at the push towards transformation that Mother is giving me, and at my own banality and mediocrity, I recall this line in Savitri:

“All can be done if the god-touch is there.”[15]

As soon as one has contact with the Divine Consciousness, this mediocrity of the outer being becomes evident, but the promise in Savitri is true and it will be realised.

28 October 1968

*

Perhaps now Your Grace would like to help me to make the complete surrender of my whole being in love and joy.

Yes, the hour when this will be possible is near and you will have the joy of total consecration.

30 October 1968

*

Aswapathy was very fortunate. For him,

“Each day was a spiritual romance, …

Each happening was a deep experience.”[16]

This possibility is open to all whose aspiration is fervent.

1 November 1968

*

How can one keep what You give?

It does not go away, but enters the subconscient and continues to act.

To remain conscious of it, one must reduce the range of the subconscient in oneself and thus increase the consciousness.

3 November 1968

*

What should one do to reduce the range of the subconscient?

To grow in consciousness is the very aim of life on earth. It is through the experience of successive lives that one gradually reduces the range of the subconscient.

Through yoga and the effort to find the Divine in oneself and in life, one hastens the work considerably and it can be done in a few years.

5 November 1968

*

“A knowledge which became what it perceived,

Replaced the separated sense and heart

And drew all Nature into its embrace.”[17]

Is Sri Aurobindo referring here to knowledge by identity?

Yes, it is a very accurate description.

7 November 1968

*

“A greater Force than the earthly held his limbs, …

Unwound the triple cord of mind and freed

The heavenly wideness of a Godhead’s gaze.”[18]

What does “the triple cord of mind” mean?

The cords symbolise the limitations of the mind; and there are three of them because there is a physical mind, a vital mind and a mental mind.

9 November 1968

*

“The days were travellers on a destined road,

The nights companions of his musing spirit.”[19]

To carry on the sadhana night and day is now becoming a necessity for me.

Yes, there comes a time when nothing, absolutely nothing is outside the yoga and the Divine’s Presence is felt and found in all things and all circumstances.

11 November 1968

*

When I feel an emptiness or uneasiness, often I find that I had forgotten the Divine.

This is precisely the sign of forgetting — or rather its consequence, which becomes more and more clear and precise as one progresses, until the time comes when one never forgets any more and the feeling of the Divine Presence is constant.

13 November 1968

*

“A last high world was seen where all worlds meet;

In its summit gleam where Night is not nor Sleep,

The light began of the Trinity supreme.”[20]

Is the “Trinity supreme” Sachchidananda?

Yes.

15 November 1968

*

Through Krishna’s Grace, Arjuna realised the cosmic Divine and Virat in the twinkling of an eye. What a good Guru and what a good disciple!

Speed is not necessarily a sign of superiority.

These “instantaneous” conversions are most often the result of many lives of preparation.

17 November 1968

*

“Our body’s cells must hold the Immortal’s flame.”[21]

Is this the secret of the luminous body?

It is a poetic way of expressing the transformation which is going to take place and is more complicated than that.

19 November 1968

*

It seems to me, Mother, that when man does not accept the Divine, it is more out of ignorance than out of wickedness. Isn’t it so?

It is undoubtedly out of ignorance and fear of what he doesn’t know.

It is only the Asuras and a few great hostile beings who refuse and oppose the Divine even though they know who He is.

21 November 1968

*

Your child Shyam Sundar must achieve the three “S”s: Sincerity, Surrender and Spontaneity.

Very good — we are going to work on it with such ardour that the result will be obtained in 6 × 6 days at the minimum or 3 × 3 months at the most.

Blessings

23 November 1968

*

It seems to me, Mother, that the flame that calls and the flame that responds are one and the same.

Essentially they are the same; but the plenitude of the response far exceeds the intensity of the call. The response always exceeds our receptivity by far.

25 November 1968

*

Can one say, Mother, that perfect receptivity comes only with constant union with the Divine?

If we call “perfect receptivity” the receptivity that receives only the Divine Influence and no other, it is certain — and at the same time it is perfect purity.

This is what we must strive for.

27 November 1968

*

“None can reach heaven who has not passed through hell.”[22]

But still, Mother, doesn’t the soul chosen by the Divine go through hell in a different way than others?

The quotation means that to reach the divine regions one must, while one is on earth, pass through the vital, which in some of its parts is a veritable hell. But those who have surrendered to the Divine and been adopted by Him are surrounded by the divine protection and for them the passage is not difficult.

29 November 1968

*

Yesterday, Mother, I had a slight perception that even the body can remember You.

Well, that is very good. It is a good beginning.

And the body’s remembrance is much more stable than the mind’s or the vital’s.

1 December 1968

*

“His failure is not failure whom God leads;”[23]

Because it is part of the play?

It is the human mind that has the concept of success and failure. It is the human mind that wants one thing and does not want another. In the divine plan each thing has its place and importance. So it is not success that matters. What matters is to be a docile and, if possible, a conscious instrument of the Divine Will.

To be and to do what the Divine wants, this is the truly important thing.

3 December 1968

*

“The one original transcendent Shakti, the Mother stands above all the worlds and bears in her eternal consciousness the Supreme Divine.”[24]

Similarly, can one say that the Supreme Divine carries the Mother in his eternal consciousness?

Beyond all question.

They are ONE in essence and manifestation.

5 December 1968

*

Cannot the ego consent to its own abolition?

The ego was created for the work of individualisation; when the work is achieved, it is not unusual for the ego itself to accept its own dissolution.

7 December 1968

*

The aspiration of this morning: Let me do nothing to delay the manifestation for which Sri Aurobindo sacrificed his body.

Yes, his work is in the process of being accomplished inevitably; it is our own participation in it that we can make more and more perfect if we know how to avoid obstructing the Grace.

9 December 1968

*

The human pleasure of possessing is a perversion of what, Mother?

All pleasure is a perversion, by egoistic limitation, of the Ananda that is the purpose of the universal manifestation.

11 December 1968

*

“When we eat, we should be conscious that we are giving our food to that Presence in us ….”[25] When I try to take this attitude, the food tastes better and the atmosphere becomes quieter.

The Presence is always there whatever we do, but out of ignorance, negligence or thoughtlessness we do not feel it. But each time that we are attentive and concentrated, we become aware of a wonderful transformation in all things.

13 December 1968

*

Without being able to feel Your Presence constantly, O Divine Mother, life is no longer joyous. But also something protects it from becoming sad.

This is because the Presence is constant whether or not it is felt, and its protection is constant and effective even when it is not perceived.

15 December 1968

*

To be conscious of the constant Presence, is memory a good aid?

Memory is a mental faculty and helps the mental consciousness. But feeling and sensation must also participate.

17 December 1968

*

When the Presence becomes concrete, does this indicate the participation of feeling and sensation?

To have the perception of the Presence, the participation of feeling is indispensable, and when sensation collaborates, then the perception becomes concrete and tangible.

19 December 1968

*

“All things shall change in God’s transfiguring hour.”[26]

Can man delay or hasten the coming of this hour?

Neither the one nor the other in their apparent contradiction created by the separative consciousness, but something else that our words cannot express.

In the present state of human consciousness, it is good for it to think that aspiration and human effort can hasten the advent of the divine transformation, because effort and aspiration are needed for the transformation to take place.

21 December 1968

*

The Upanishad says: “When That is known, all is known.” Is all known in its essential truth or also in detail?

In its essential truth, but one usually keeps the perception of the illusory appearance at the same time.

23 December 1968

*

It seems to me that to know things in detail, the ordinary instrumentation is necessary for the yogi too, but the yogi puts this knowledge to the test of the essential truth.

Yes, one can put it that way. But above all, it is the attitude towards the outward appearance that changes completely.

25 December 1968

*

In fact, Mother, what is the yogi’s attitude towards the outward appearance?

The usefulness of seeing clearly instead of being blind.

The usefulness of no longer being deceived by outward appearances.

The usefulness of knowing the true purpose of life instead of living in ignorance and falsehood.

27 December 1968

*

Is the perception of the illusory appearance automatic for the yogi?

That probably depends on the yogi and his condition.

When one is united with the Supreme Consciousness and when the body is undergoing transformation, the body keeps its automatic perception of the outer world; but this perception is more complete than ordinary perception, as if it revealed something of its content.

29 December 1968

*

Therefore, Mother, the transformation of the body is necessary even to live in the Integral Knowledge!

Certainly.

In Sri Aurobindo’s yoga, the transformation of the body is indispensable in so far as it can be done. Because the aim of this yoga is not an escape from the physical consciousness but a divinisation of that consciousness.

31 December 1968

*

Mother has said, “In Sri Aurobindo’s yoga, the transformation of the body is indispensable in so far as it can be done.” Are there limits to the transformation of the body?

For the moment, yes. But in time, no. I am convinced that in two hundred years, for example, the physical body could be infinitely superior to what it is now — luminous, plastic, enduring, harmonious…

And our effort today will have made it possible.

2 January 1969

*

With progress in the yoga of the body, will there be a change in the material environment?

A greater harmony will most certainly be manifested in the material world, just as the earth’s appearance has greatly changed with the advent of the human species.

4 January 1969

*

In other words, Mother, it can be said that the transformation of the human body, the microcosm, will be useful to the transformation of the material world, the macrocosm.

Yes, it is an intellectual way of transcribing what is happening.

6 January 1969

*

I don’t notice any progress towards seeing the Divine everywhere and in everything.

According to the experience of this body which is here called Mother, it is first necessary to realise union with the supreme and transcendent Divine, and then one can find this same Divine in everything, but covered with a more or less thick veil.

8 January 1969

*

A confession: I have not yet been able to receive from You the complete realisation of the Divine in myself.

Yes, I know this, and it does not surprise me either.

Your mind is strong and well organised; it is, so to speak, “the head of the house”. It is very active and has a habit of directing everything. But to have the realisation of the Inner Divine, the mind has to keep quiet and remain still — at least for a time.

It will come.

10 January 1969

*

I hope that some day my mind will open upwards and that, if necessary, Mother will make a hole in it.

No hole is necessary. All that is needed is a silent aspiration and a receptivity turned upwards.

12 January 1969

*

A few hours after writing my last letter I opened Prayers and Meditations and the first sentence I saw was this: “O Lord, deliver me from the mental influences which weigh upon me, so that, completely free, I may soar towards Thee.”[27]

This is a very good response to your aspiration, and it shows you the process to follow.

14 January 1969

*

It seems to me, Mother, that if I can aspire to the Divine for the Divine Himself, the way could be shorter.

To aspire to the Divine for the Divine Himself, without any personal aim, is surely the best and shortest way — and the surest means of getting rid of the ego.

Blessings

16 January 1969

*

I have often seen Mother like a column of white light. This month there are streaks of gold.

In fact, since the first of January a new form of Consciousness[28] has manifested upon earth and one of its characteristics is a golden luminosity; no doubt it is this that you see.

18 January 1969

*

The day before yesterday, while waiting my turn to go to Mother, I saw a white avalanche sliding towards me, making me happy. Looking at it I discovered a dark spot. Can this dark spot be my ego?

The dark spot is obviously the sign of a lack of receptivity somewhere. But it is not necessarily a personal thing.

20 January 1969

*

I can feel that my mind is on the verge of losing its pride and complacency. Is it true, Mother?

Yes, it is true. I myself have found a significant change in its attitude, and feel that the conversion will not take long to come.

22 January 1969

*

Can it be said, Mother, that the most cunning thing in this world is the ego?

When it comes to deceiving itself, the ego is certainly very clever, especially the mental ego, which always finds arguments to prove that it is right.

That is why a scrupulous and integral sincerity is known to be indispensable.

24 January 1969

*

My mind knows clearly that it has to become silent, but it continues its old habit. Evidently it is very dishonest.

It is not dishonesty, but rather weakness, for it must be very strong in order to overcome the old habit. True silence is a great power.

26 January 1969

*

This means, Mother, that in silence the mind will find its truth and receive what Mother wants to give it.

In silence the mind can open to the higher regions and receive the light of intuition and the superman consciousness, whose power is active in the terrestrial atmosphere. In silence the discernment develops that enables one to distinguish the true from the false.

28 January 1969

*

Can silence of mind help to make one’s nights conscious?

Yes, certainly, because to remember the activities of the night, one has to keep one’s head very still at the moment of waking and remain absolutely silent.

If one begins to think, the memory of the dream disappears.

30 January 1969

*

Is it not the mind that prevents me from surrendering the responsibility for myself?

It is not the mind in its capacity to understand and think. It is the ego (mental, vital and physical) that insists on keeping the responsibility for its life so that this life may conform to its egoistic tastes.

1 February 1969

*

In work also, Mother, instead of following the mind, I would like to be Your faithful and simple servitor.

That is good.

To begin with, when you have a decision to make, instead of listening to the mental reasons for and against it, keep silent for a short time, concentrated in the depths of your heart, and wait for the indication that will come to you from there.

Persist in doing this even if you do not succeed immediately, and you will definitely receive a sure indication in one form or another. The precision increases with the persistence.

3 February 1969

*

When Your Presence becomes concrete, O Divine Mother, existence becomes completely different!

This should become a constant fact, because the Presence is constant.

5 February 1969

*

Doesn’t irritation come from the ego, even when it is justified by the mind?

Most certainly. In fact the mind’s justification is very far from being a guarantee of truth.

Irritation is always the sign of a lack of understanding and a narrowness of spirit, which are both incompatible with the presence of the Supreme Consciousness.

7 February 1969

*

Your Love, O Mother, does not diminish at all when I oppose You with all my obscurity. I have had clear experiences of it.

This is because it is not a personal love, but the divine love, which is constant, unvarying, above all circumstances and always at the height of its activity. The divine love is limitless and unwavering. In fact, in each one, it is limited only by the incapacity to receive it.

9 February 1969

*

Man often says that he is searching for the Divine but the Divine is hiding himself. As for me, I find that it is the Divine who is searching for me and I who am hiding myself.

Yes, this is absolutely true. Once one has opened oneself and found the Divine, one sees that He is always present, always active, marvellous in His mercy and solicitude, and that it was our own stupidity which prevented us from seeing it.

11 February 1969

*

The time I pass without the true consciousness no longer seems like a life to me.

Truly it is not a life, it is hardly even a semblance of life, and most often a false semblance. But this can be eliminated from the being and be replaced by the constant consciousness of the Presence.

13 February 1969

*

In 1917 Mother spoke of a dizzy rapidity on the way to transformation. Here I am, a big laggard in comparison. What can my destiny be?

Why do you worry about it? Isn’t the Grace there to remedy all the delays?

The only thing needed is sincerity — and it is there.

15 February 1969

*

With remembrance of You, Mother, my aspiration becomes more upright and calm.

This is very good. I am here to help and make the task easier.

My blessings are always consciously with you.

17 February 1969

*

Instead of merely understanding Mother’s words, I want to receive what they contain and what is behind them.

This is possible when the mind knows how to remain quiet, turning in an attentive silence towards the Higher Consciousness.

19 February 1969

*

On this day of Grace, Mother, I wanted to offer You something of worth, but I found nothing. Perhaps only a pure Pranam.

No material thing can be more valuable than the consecration of a fervent soul — and I have received your offering with my blessings.

21 February 1969

*

In spite of the awareness of my imperfections, distant goals no longer discourage me.

For one who has faith, discouragement is impossible because he has the certitude of belonging to the Divine, and for him union with the Divine is inevitable.

23 February 1969

*

The Upanishad says: “He who knows that he is the Supreme Lord, he becomes That.” Do this knowledge and this becoming happen suddenly, or are they progressive?

Everything is possible.

But it rarely happens suddenly because this requires a long subconscious preparation, in other words a preparation without the participation of the conscious will.

A long conscious preparation, sometimes extending over several lives, is a more frequent rule.

25 February 1969

*

Of course, I would like to have realisation as soon as possible, but now I am going to leave all that in the Mother’s hands.

This is undoubtedly the shortest way, because for me conscious union with the Divine is the only thing worth living for.

27 February 1969

*

I see the Mother’s increasing care for me and I hope to be Her good child.

It is true that you are opening more and more to the Influence and this makes a prompt and good result possible.

In trusting surrender lies the certitude of victory.

1 March 1969

*

In the Bulletin Mother has spoken of a body without a mind and vital.[29] Does this mean that the body has its own means of living, something different from what is called the vital force or Prana?

It is a rather special case.

In all well-developed beings, the body has a mind and vital, more or less rudimentary, which are particular to it and can be fully developed.

In this case there is also, and above all, a fully developed psychic which governs the whole house and guides all its actions. In addition, there is the superman consciousness which has manifested since the beginning of this year; this consciousness serves as a mentor to the body, which is learning from it things that the mind itself did not know.

3 March 1969

*

Has the lack of consecration of the Aurovilians and the wastage taking place there something to do with the fact that money is not coming for Auroville?

Certainly the attitude of most of them is not favourable to the wealth of Auroville and does not create an atmosphere attractive to money.

5 March 1969

*

Mother, the desire to do something good or new in Your service has now been replaced by an aspiration to be Your true servitor.

I feel that you are closer and closer, more and more open to the Influence, and I hope that soon you will be fully conscious of the Force that is penetrating and motivating you.

7 March 1969

*

Everyone criticises the Creator of the universe — He seems to be the most criticised of all beings. I hope that He takes it all with a smile.

The smile is constant. And it is a marvellous smile which has the power to change the worst catastrophes into bliss.

9 March 1969

*

It is becoming evident that the Divine is more concerned with the progress of the sadhak than the sadhak himself can be.

This is certain. Even a very ardent aspiration is but a reflection of the triumphal march of the Divine — and this in Perfect Peace!

11 March 1969

*

“All that transpires on earth and all beyond

Are parts of an illimitable plan

The One keeps in his heart and knows alone.”[30]

Does he who is united with the One know this “plan”?

To the extent necessary for its execution, yes, and to the extent of the need, but not all at once in its entirety.

13 March 1969

*

Often I find that if I criticise some action of others, later I do the same thing myself, and that with justification!

Yes, and this is how one learns not to criticise. For most often the criticism is a lack of understanding or some narrowness, and if we want to be truly useful, it is He alone who can teach us what we must be and what we must do to grow closer to the Supreme Lord and ultimately to consciously unite with Him.

15 March 1969

*

Isn’t what man calls “chance” a play of possibilities of which he is ignorant?

“Chance” is merely a label attached to that which man does not understand. Everything is formed and set in motion by the Supreme Consciousness, which is not outside the creation but is the very Truth and substance of the creation.

Without the Supreme Consciousness nothing exists; in It is everything.

17 March 1969

*

Can the Yogi foresee chance? (Perhaps he is no longer concerned with it!)

For one who practises the integral Yoga, the capacity to foresee the immediate future is one of the capacities that can be acquired.

But this requires special attention, so it all depends on what the Supreme Lord expects of him. Because for the true sadhak, this is the only thing that matters.

19 March 1969

*

Is it the psychic being that knows, or can know, what the Supreme Lord expects of me?

Yes, the psychic being not only has the capacity to know but also to realise. The psychic being, far better than the mind and vital, understands the body and knows how to make it obey.

21 March 1969

*

There is a joy in knowing the future, there is also a joy in walking the virgin path, carefree, in the Mother’s arms!

These two joys are not in the same domain. It is the mind that enjoys knowing the future; the psychic is at ease with the attitude of trusting surrender.

23 March 1969

*

It is not always easy to distinguish between inner indication, instinct and intuition.

Ordinarily, they are not perceived in the same part of the being.

Intuition is perceived when the mind is completely quiet and the brain is motionless, so to speak, like a blank page turned upwards.

Inner indication is usually perceived deep within, at the level of the solar plexus, and instinct surges up either from the navel region or at the level of the neck, which is in general the place of relation with others and the outer world.

However, to be able to make this distinction clearly, calmness and a great habitual tranquillity are needed.

25 March 1969

*

Now I can feel that Mother is with me during my sleep, although at that time I am unconscious of it.

It may be that during your sleep something in your being is conscious of my presence, but the memory of it is not transferred to the waking consciousness.

27 March 1969

*

Let me merge in You!

Yes — in the peace, the vastness, the silence and the harmony...

With my blessings

29 March 1969

*

Mother has said, “The remedy lies at the centre of the evil.” Is this because the Divine is at the centre of everything?

Yes.

And if we know how to go always to the deep centre of every difficulty, we find there the supreme remedy.

31 March 1969

*

As soon as some demand or expectation enters into love, love disappears, doesn’t it?

Divine love in its purity is sufficient unto itself and it is eternal. But as soon as it manifests upon earth, it is mixed with all the egoistic movements of the mind, vital and body. Thus it is veiled and distorted beyond all recognition. What men call love is a sad caricature of the essential love, the Divine Love.

2 April 1969

*

For the last few days, when I go to sleep, I often sense the presence of Sri Aurobindo and Mother at the head of the bed. For me it is an act of Grace.

I am always there and these days Sri Aurobindo is actively present. What is an effect of the Grace is that your consciousness has awakened to the fact of this presence.

4 April 1969

*

The recalcitrant parts in me oppose You with all their persistent obscurity, but undoubtedly I want to collaborate for Your victory.

There is a region of Consciousness where opposition no longer exists — every movement forms part of the great play and collaborates for the supreme realisation.

6 April 1969

*

The more I lose myself, the more I find You.

But when you have lost yourself completely, you will find the true you, the one who lives eternally.

8 April 1969

*

In the case of profound things, true understanding often comes when I am not trying to understand.

It is always the mind that tries to understand — outer, superficial things it can understand and even explain, but profound things it does not understand; they belong to another realm, to a higher and purer light. It is only when the mind is silent that this consciousness awakens in us and understands.

10 April 1969

*

Is it preferable for me to continue to have fixed hours of meditation?

Fixed hours are usually recommended with the idea that the outer nature gets accustomed to them and thus offers less resistance.

But my experience has been different. It has been my experience that true concentration imposes itself at the right moment and that when one obeys this inner inspiration the contemplation, the concentration and even the meditation, which is exclusively a mental phenomenon, are of a very high quality and much less mechanical.

12 April 1969

*

From today I am giving up fixed hours of meditation.

I aspire to live more and more in the true consciousness at Your feet.

It is good.

Yesterday I asked this Consciousness what condition was needed to be able to receive it without deformation. It replied, “One must be able to stand in the Supreme Consciousness without casting a shadow.” This means the absence of ego.

14 April 1969

*

Now I can see the play of my ego in reactions where before I saw the ego of others.

This is a great progress and makes it much easier to have the inner equality that is indispensable for the yoga.

16 April 1969

*

In the context of what happened on the first of January,[31] the following lines of Savitri become more significant:

“The superman shall wake in mortal man

And manifest the hidden demigod

Or grow into the God-Light and God-Force

Revealing the secret deity in the cave.”[32]

Yes, this is undoubtedly what is going to happen.

18 April 1969

*

Isn’t disinterested self-giving basically a movement of Divine Love?

Yes, certainly, and it is also the best way to merge in the Divine and become identified with Him.

20 April 1969

*

Self-consecration and self-renunciation are two aspects of a single movement, aren’t they?

They are indissolubly linked, but almost always the one precedes the other, which then follows as a logical consequence.

The movement attains its perfection when the separate self disappears, merged in the Supreme, and only the Divine Consciousness exists, animating innumerable bodies.

22 April 1969

*

Is my mind less noisy now?

Yes.

Your mind is capable of transformation.

First it must silently open upwards to receive the Light of the Supreme Consciousness.

Then, remaining peaceful and plastic, it has to let this Light penetrate all its intellectual activities and mould them according to the Truth.

I am counting on it being like this.

24 April 1969

*

For me, prayer is now more a means of opening myself than of making myself heard.

It is certain that the Supreme Lord knows better than we do what we think, what we want and what we need. One tells it to Him not so that He knows it, but to offer oneself to Him as totally as one can.

26 April 1969

*

The length of the separation no longer disturbs me. Is it my indifference? I don’t know.

It is not indifference. The certitude of fulfilment gives one the patience to wait the time necessary for its realisation.

It is in the peace of this certitude that things go fastest.

28 April 1969

*

What should be the sadhak’s attitude towards his wasted past, to which, no doubt, most of the present moments are being added?

We cannot get rid of the ties binding us to the world of ignorance entirely and all at once.

But the Grace is there to comfort us, and we should have complete trust in its action. And if we turn constantly towards the Supreme Consciousness, being receptive to It alone, we are doing all that it is in our power to do.

30 April 1969

*

When I notice a drop in my consciousness, if I remain quiet, the little flame within appears and the normal condition quickly returns.

Yes, to remain quiet is in fact the best way to let the Consciousness do its work.

2 May 1969

*

Instead of asking Your blessings for what seems good to me, I would like to be able to know Your will and obey it.

Yes, this is very good.

When one asks for something, it is the Grace that responds and grants it, and one progresses if one is grateful. But if one aspires without asking, it is the Supreme Consciousness that hears and at once responds with the most favourable conditions for the fastest integral progress.

4 May 1969

*

Let me be like a new-born child in the Mother’s arms!

All individual consciousnesses are like babies in the infinite arms of the Supreme Consciousness. Only there is a great difference between those who know it and those who do not.

For to know it brings a marvellous joy which transforms one’s whole existence with the sense of Liberation.

6 May 1969

*

It seems to me, Mother, that my nights are no longer negative.

Yes — a time comes when the night prepares the next day’s progress or makes use of the progress of the day before.

8 May 1969

*

Mental conceptions of the Divine no longer satisfy me; I want to live in the Divine.

Yes, that is the only way to know Him.

It is also the best way to definitively overcome one’s ego.

10 May 1969

*

Aspiration without demand is becoming more and more interesting.

Little by little the cells of the physical body have a constant élan which may be translated like this:

“What You want, Lord, what You want.”

Without trying to know what this will be, without desire or preference of any kind, the body says in all sincerity:

“I will know what You want me to know.

“I will be what You want me to be.

“I will do what You want me to do …

in peace and light and joy.”

13 May 1969

*

Are conditions more favourable now for the Yoga of the body?

Since this new consciousness[33] has been at work upon earth, it is definitely helping the Yoga of the body in a powerful way. But even now it is not an easy thing and it demands that the body be neither over-delicate nor fearful, and of course that it be free of desires.

15 May 1969

*

What should be the first step in the Yoga of the body?

Perfect adherence to the Higher Will.

17 May 1969

*

Once aspiration is awakened in the body, will the body show the same persistence in it that we see in its physical movements?

In this respect the body is marvellous. As soon as the cells consciously aspire for union with the Divine, this aspiration becomes constant, and if this aspiration is expressed by a mantra, the cells spontaneously and constantly repeat the mantra as an invocation.

19 May 1969

*

Will the body in time receive its mantra spontaneously?

It is good if the mantra springs up spontaneously with the simplicity of a child’s call — two or three words rhythmically repeated.

If it does not come spontaneously, the body can repeat the mantra that your mind has chosen.

21 May 1969

*

There is a very vague perception of a fantastic possibility: it is that one day the body may be able to feel itself physically one with all existence.

This is just the experience that this physical body (which is reading and writing here) is having more and more. And I find it interesting that you came to know something of it without my ever having told you anything about it.

23 May 1969

*

I will be happy to say farewell to mental “wisdom”.

Persist in your aspiration and it will surely happen.

And the “wisdom” of the Supreme Consciousness is so much more marvellous!

25 May 1969

*

How happy I would be if the Mother would give me a new birth every morning!

If you mean by “new birth” an opening of the consciousness to the innumerable inner fields that are still unexplored, it is possible provided your thirst for progress is ardent and sustained. For this you must come to me in the morning in a state of aspiration, but passive and receptive and, if possible, without thought.

27 May 1969

*

Even when the aspiration is not formulated, the Mother’s reply is there.

Often what is expressed without words is more clear and precise than any spoken or written sentence.

29 May 1969

*

Contrary to current notions, the more ardent the aspiration, the more it brings its own calm.

It is in perfect mental immobility that the aspiration is most ardent, like a flame that rises straight up without a wisp of air to deflect it.

5 June 1969

*

The golden light is becoming a splendid rain around the Mother!

It is the new Consciousness, ready to help all those who are ready to heed it.

7 June 1969

*

The reactions of my ego, which are constantly occurring, make a veil between me and the Truth.

This is inevitable and it ought to be counteracted by a continual movement of vigilance.

And the cure is brought about by the Grace.

9 June 1969

*

God created this world of ignorance for His delight. Why then disturb Him by yoga?

You make of this God a rather personal and arbitrary figure — this is not the Truth.

But to continue in the same spirit, one can say more truly that God has created the world so that individuals may consciously return to Him. And then yoga becomes imperative.

11 June 1969

*

There are parts of my being for which surrender is becoming a thing of joy.

True surrender is profoundly happy and joyful because with it comes the sense of infinity and of luminous eternal peace.

13 June 1969

*

Is it possible to merge in You (as Pavitra did on the last night of his life) and still continue to live?

No, it is not possible because it was the whole of his soul that entered.

But a part of the being, an emanation can do it, if the aspiration is sufficient.

15 June 1969

*

My obstinate ego deserves a crushing blow from the Mother.

The Grace does not punish, it heals.

17 June 1969

*

I want to learn to bear insults with a smile.

It is very easy when one is convinced that the Divine alone knows the Truth and that human opinions have no true value.

19 June 1969

*

Mother has granted me a place at Her feet — this is my great security.

Yes, it is true.

And sincerity in one’s consecration is the greatest security of all.

21 June 1969

*

Perhaps the small “I” will be dissolved in the aspiration to be what You want.

Surely this is what will happen to it some day, and perhaps even without its knowing it.

Often this happens as a widening, a blossoming in the Light.

23 June 1969

*

To be what the Mother wants — isn’t this to be transformed?

Undeniably.

For all, to prepare for this transformation.

For some, to begin the work of transformation.

For a very few, to hasten the process of transformation.

25 June 1969

*

The Mother’s patience is so infinite that She can be accused of slowness!

And yet the work of transformation is going as fast as it can go; there are even a number of people who cannot follow it and are thrown off balance.

But man’s notion of time is usually based on the length of his bodily existence, which is terribly short.

27 June 1969

*

One day, if it interests you, I will explain what the true role and place of money should be.

28 June 1969

*

Yes, Mother, please explain to me the true role and place of money.

In a truer world, towards the realisation of which the creation is moving, money ought to be one of the terrestrial forces placed at the disposal of the Divine Consciousness for its work upon earth.

The first step towards this realisation is the abolition of the sense of ownership. No one is the possessor of the money in his hands, he is the user and distributor of that money. And this leads naturally to the next step: those who have the widest and truest vision and knowledge ought to become these distributors and users.

The methods for achieving this have to be worked out and put into practice according to the need and the possibilities.

29 June 1969

*

Isn’t the sense of ownership an attribute of the ego?

The sense of ownership is of course an attitude that is natural to the ego; but in spite of his blindness, man does not have a sense of ownership about the air he breathes, the water of the river or the falling rain.

1 July 1969

*

Thoughts and personal will are preventing me from living spontaneously.

One day the Supreme Lord will take up the conscious guidance.

7 July 1969

*

I would like to do sadhana as a child of the Mother.

For me sadhana consists in loving the Divine more and more integrally, more and more absolutely, with a love so total that it leads to identification.

9 July 1969

*

My offerings to Mother are still not free from the sense that it is I who am offering.

Perhaps because in that way they give me more pleasure.

11 July 1969

*

What is the secret of Your constant, invariable smile?

Constant contact with the Supreme Lord.

13 July 1969

*

If I could let the past drop off like an old robe, I could be a new-born child.

Try to concentrate your consciousness on the Divine Presence, which is a concrete fact, and the past will fade away by itself quite naturally.

15 July 1969

*

Little by little the desire for realisation is changing into an aspiration.

That is very good! Now the advance can be very fast.

18 July 1969

*

The golden Light is becoming more and more lovable in spite of all my obscurity.

It comes to make us conscious of our absurdity and to cure us of it. It is natural, therefore, that its very presence makes us increasingly conscious of our absurdity and then only one step remains to cure us of it for good.

21 July 1969

*

Can we hope that the new consciousness which descended on the first of January will do in the field of Yoga what the astronauts are doing in the scientific field?

What the astronauts have just done on the moon is certainly a marvellous achievement of calculation, endurance and courage; but these are the realisations of a child compared to what the new Consciousness is in the process of accomplishing on earth, which will lead to the creation of the superman.

23 July 1969

*

Time presses but there is no anxiety.

When one has attained the consciousness of eternity, what would otherwise have taken many years can be achieved in a few moments.

25 July 1969

*

I am Your spoiled child.

You have capacity, aspiration and sincerity. With these three qualities success is sure, and if one adds to them patience and intensity, time is no longer important.

27 July 1969

*

The prayer “What You want” seems to solve problems better than specific prayers.

According to my experience, this is the prayer that provides the best attitude in every circumstance.

29 July 1969

*

Sometimes, Mother, the Light becomes physically visible.

This is a phenomenon that will probably occur more and more frequently.

31 July 1969

*

I am convinced that the Mother’s Light is more powerful than my obscurity.

Leaving aside personalities, we can say with certainty that the divine Light is definitely more powerful than human obscurity.

2 August 1969

*

Does Durga’s lion represent the Power of the Divine over the adverse forces?

It can be understood in that way.

But in the vital there is a lion, very much alive, who is very often near me and who several people have often seen. This is obviously not an animal though its form has an animal appearance symbolic of its royal strength.

4 August 1969

*

The pleasure of possessing now seems like dust in comparison with self-giving.

The pleasure of possessing is something purely vital and physical; as the inner being develops and the consciousness widens, it is replaced by a sense of judicious use and becomes a clear vision of the true use of everything.

6 August 1969

*

I understand that the true use of things depends on the loss of the sense of ownership and on the growth of consciousness.

The sense of ownership belongs to the ego, and when the ego disappears the sense of ownership is replaced by the correct vision of the true use of each thing (money or object) and one has only to act according to what one sees.

8 August 1969

*

When Mother is late for Her lunch I say to myself, “The Divine likes to be late in all things!”

Would it not be, rather, that for the Divine time does not exist, or at any rate does not have the same value that man gives to it?

12 August 1969

*

One day, enveloped by Your Presence, the ego can be dissolved — isn’t it so, Mother?

Yes, certainly.

I have also seen cases where it gets converted and transformed.

14 August 1969

*

I bow down before Sri Aurobindo and Mother in a single movement.

Yes, it is true that Sri Aurobindo is always present.

16 August 1969

*

Doesn’t my ego deserve a frontal assault?

I don’t have this feeling. Your ego strikes me as being mental, above all, with some rather fixed ideas. But with the growth of consciousness this will disappear.

18 August 1969

*

I hope that Mother has already cured people whose mind was more resistant than mine.

Do not worry — the resistance of your mind is not so great, and besides, the Grace of the Supreme Lord is infinite.

20 August 1969

*

Without the disappearance of the ego, my true life with You does not begin.

The best way to make it disappear is to widen it to the size of the universe. You can do this without violence, but with quiet persistence.

I am with you in your effort.

22 August 1969

*

The mind seems to recognise the necessity of yielding to the higher light.

Yes, it is visible; there are good reasons to hope that its transforming conversion will not be long in coming.

24 August 1969

*

I am going to lose the desire to be useful to Mother.

You have only to replace this desire by the will to be useful and the clear consciousness of how to be most useful — because I need you for my work.

Blessings

26 August 1969

*

I depend on the Mother to mould me according to Her Will.

It is the Consciousness of the Supreme Lord that will do the work in every detail, forgetting nothing, until it is perfect.

28 August 1969

*

Now I feel the importance of being free from desire.

The agitation of the vibrations of desire disturbs one’s receptivity and makes one unable to perceive the vibrations of the divine will, which can only be perceived in calm and silence.

30 August 1969

*

Won’t the Unmanifest always be greater than the manifestation?

If one conceives of the manifestation as eternal, this is undeniable.

1 September 1969

*

Can the manifestation come to its dissolution, its Pralaya?

A very old tradition, more ancient than the Vedas, says that the present manifestation is the seventh, and that the six preceding ones were followed by six pralayas, but this one will be transformed perpetually, without returning to the Creator.

3 September 1969

*

Perhaps the old tradition had foreseen the supramentalisation in the seventh manifestation, with its eternal transformation.

It had foreseen not only the supramentalisation of Matter, but also the appearance of the new species that must succeed man and be immortal.

5 September 1969

*

The mental light no longer seems like a light in the presence of the sun.

If by “sun” you mean the supermind, it is indisputable.

But all physical lights, even the light of the sun, seem dim to an inner vision.

7 September 1969

*

The physical sun does not hide itself, but the supramental light, which is greater, can hide itself. It is a mystery for man.

The physical eyes are not made to see the supramental light; that is why they cannot see it. But the human being whose inner senses are awakened can see the supramental light when he wants to — it never hides itself.

9 September 1969

*

What conditions must be fulfilled in order to see the supramental light?

To be in conscious contact with it.

The supramental vision develops quite naturally with the supramental consciousness.

11 September 1969

*

I hope it is the Grace that makes me want to go quickly.

The Grace always responds to a sincere aspiration and fosters its realisation, even when appearances are deceptive.

18 September 1969

*

On 11 January 1914 Mother wrote: “I know that a day will come when Thou wilt transform all those who come to us.”[34]

I find an echo of this in what Mother said on 18 January 1969 about the descent of the new consciousness: “It was there (Mother looks in the region of the heart). It is curious, as though I was given the charge of putting it into contact with all those who come near me.”[35]

Of course, I did not remember at all what I had written rather prophetically in 1914.

And my only reply is: The Lord’s Grace is infinite.

20 September 1969

*

“As one mounts from peak to peak, there appears all that has still to be done.” Perhaps the Rig-Veda speaks here of an endless progression?

The spiritual wisdom most certainly existed for a few in that era.

22 September 1969

*

In Last Poems Sri Aurobindo shows the relation between the Transcendent and the Cosmos:

“My vast transcendence holds the cosmic whirl;

I am hid in it as in the sea a pearl.”[36]

What an experience!

It is transcendent poetry.

24 September 1969

*

Is it the mind that has deprived man of the simplicity of flowers?

Undoubtedly, but the desires of the vital also have something to do with it.

26 September 1969

*

When

“The eyes of mortal body plunge their gaze

Into Eyes that look upon eternity”[37]

one finds there his native land!

In other words, the Divine origin.

It is true. You are becoming a poet in your expression.

28 September 1969

*

What must I do for the Mother to take direct charge of the sadhana?

I have already taken direct charge of the sadhana, but if you want me to express it in words you have to ask me precise, practical questions, not mental and speculative ones.

30 September 1969

*

I want to learn how to fully retain what Mother gives me.

The best way to receive, which allows one to keep what comes, is to surrender oneself passively. If you can make this movement when you are before me, things will go faster.

2 October 1969

*

More and more I see the need for mental silence, but it is a difficult thing for me.

You are not the only one to find it difficult. For more than four years I tried to obtain it, without full result; it is Sri Aurobindo who gave it to me definitively in half an hour in 1914. Persevere and you will get it.

4 October 1969

*

If my mind becomes more sincere, will it collaborate in achieving its silence?

If it understands the immense advantage of silence, which enables it to receive inspiration from the higher regions, then it will collaborate with joy.

6 October 1969

*

Towards the heights, always towards the heights — I accept the call.

That is good.

And the response is certain.

8 October 1969

*

Oh, the sweetness of the possibility of remaining always “on the Mother’s knees where the soul sees”.

So be it.

This is the privilege of those who have made their surrender to the Divine and want to live according to the Truth.

10 October 1969

*

The Divine is knocking at the door, but I sleep.

Receive Him in dream, and He will awaken you.

12 October 1969

*

I feel that it is in my passivity to the Mother that the true activity will begin.

The truth is, to know how to be passive towards the Divine Consciousness is the great secret of transformation.

14 October 1969

*

The more Mother frees me from my desires, the more simple life becomes.

Most certainly; it is desires that complicate existence and are the cause of most sufferings. One could even say that they are at the root of all dramas, or almost all of them.

16 October 1969

*

Opening at random the book The Mother, I found this sentence: “Let your sincerity and surrender be genuine and entire.”[38] I take this as a demand and at the same time a blessing.

It is good.

And the result is certain.

Blessings

18 October 1969

*

Mental noise is no longer pleasing to me.

This is the time to make it quiet and enjoy the peace and joy of silence.

20 October 1969

*

The day before yesterday when Mother gave me the flower “Mental prayer”, I did not know its significance and felt that Mother was giving me receptivity!

This is very good. For in fact when the mind begins to pray in the true way, it quickly becomes more and more receptive.

22 October 1969

*

What is the right way to make a mental prayer?

Mental prayer is formulated in words, and when it receives its inspiration from above, the formulation becomes powerful and artistic by its beauty; at times it even has the power of an evocation.

24 October 1969

*

The mind is very active now, but with a difference — it is no longer satisfied with itself.

It is in the silence of complete identification with the Divine that true understanding is obtained.

26 October 1969

*

For all that I have to realise, O Divine Mother, Your Grace is my refuge.

The Grace is with you and will lead you to your goal.

Blessings

28 October 1969

*

To be useful to Mother, I feel the need to be more open to Her.

When you came this morning, you said this to me in silence, and I replied to you that with this aspiration it is enough for you to remain attentive — then, in all circumstances, you will sense what the right thing to do is.

With a little practice this can become quite clear and precise.

Blessings

30 October 1969

*

It seems that I will bring this notebook to You less often and try to receive in silence and absorb what comes from Mother.

Yes, you must try to receive the solution to problems in silence. Then if the solution comes, you can write the problem and the answer, to know if it is correct; or if no answer has been received, the problem alone can be sent to see if I can solve it.

Blessings

1 November 1969

*

Mother told me once again that She will lead me to the heights beyond.

This is settled, isn’t it?

The only indispensable thing is a constant aspiration.

Blessings

3 November 1969

*

The day before yesterday, Mother, when I was with You, I felt the presence of Ganesh behind me.

That is very good. Ganesh is an old friend who promised me long, long ago that he would supply the needs of the Ashram, and he kept his word for years (when Sri Aurobindo was physically here). It is a good sign that he came when you were here.

5 November 1969

*

Yesterday I had fever from noon until midnight. I had had a warning of it the day before yesterday, but I did not know how to prevent it.

If you had informed me when you knew that you were going to have the fever, perhaps it would not have come.

7 November 1969

*

For some time I have been feeling that Mother is going to open a new door, but that She is waiting for “something” from my side. Did Mother tell me in silence that this “something” is the progress that consists in silencing the mind?

In fact, when you sit before me and I put the Supreme Consciousness on you, often, and especially these last few days, I begin by recommending that you keep your mind as calm and silent as you can, because that is the best way to increase your receptivity and open yourself to the action of the Higher Force.

10 November 1969

*

You have often granted me what I wanted, O Divine Mother. Now I pray that You grant me only what You want, what You want.

Contact, total and constant, with the Divine Consciousness. This is what I am working on for you.

12 November 1969

*

Was it the obstinacy of my mind that gave me the fever?

Obstinacy of the mind is undoubtedly at the root of it, but the immediate cause is a resistance of the body to the force of transformation which is at work at the moment.

18 November 1969

*

I am less interested in the outer cure of my cough than in benefiting inwardly by it.

It is obvious that if you discover the psychological reason for the cough — in other words, if you discover what in your physical or vital being resists the penetration of the Divine Force into your body — not only will you have benefited from the illness by making considerable progress, but also the body itself will begin the long work of transformation.

Blessings

20 November 1969

*

The vital has become complacent, it loves its own narrow formation, and I do not see any conscious aspiration in the body.

Patience is needed, it will come. The vital and the body are enveloped in protection and force, and even without being conscious of it they are satisfied by the well-being this gives them.

23 November 1969

*

Yesterday during the Darshan, did Mother give me a red coat?

During the Darshan I give each one what he needs, and each receives according to his receptivity. A red coat may be the symbol of a physical protection, because I want your body to be strong and in good health.

25 November 1969

*

The Divine is at once so near and so far!

In fact He is constantly with us, but it is only when the cells of the body open to His influence and perceive His Presence that we begin to be truly conscious of Him and of His ceaseless action.

27 November 1969

*

The alternations of light and darkness — what a play! But there is no longer any anxiety.

Alternations, contraries, oppositions have been the great means employed by Nature to awaken the unconscious to consciousness, and inertia to the movement of progress. When unconsciousness and inertia have disappeared, the alternations will no longer be necessary.

29 November 1969

*

Can the individual rise above the alternation of light and darkness as long as universal unconciousness and inertia still exist?

Not only can he rise above it, but even a part of his consciousness can remain there permanently. It is this that gives one the capacity to be in constant conscious contact with the Supreme.

1 December 1969

*

Let me not be unfaithful to the sacrifice made by Sri Aurobindo for the earth!

For his consciousness it was not a sacrifice.

The earth was not yet ready to derive the greatest benefit from his physical presence.

His help is always there, conscious and active. He has said that he will come back in the first supramental body.

5 December 1969

*

Very rarely am I able to see You in dreams.

If you “dream” in the vital or the mental, there is little chance that you will meet me there.

If your dreams are in the subtle physical, you might meet me there because often I work there at night.

7 December 1969

*

Is it possible to dream at will in the subtle physical in order to meet You there?

Everything is possible. It is only a matter of inner development and of the discipline needed to achieve it.

The control of the night-time activities is very interesting and has very effective results for the integral development of the being, but it is a work that demands a great deal of patience and regularity. Sometimes years are needed to learn what happens during one’s sleep; because to remain in good health one should not run the risk of disturbing one’s sleep through an ill-timed activity.

For the moment I advise you only to do a little concentration before you sleep, with an aspiration to meet me at night. We shall see what happens.

Blessings

9 December 1969

*

My lower nature, aided by my vital, prevents me from widening myself. And the ego smiles.

Let it smile.

The day of its defeat will surely come, and perhaps sooner than you think.

11 December 1969

*

The work I do has begun to leave me with two free hours, from 1.30 to 3.30. How to utilise them?

It is an excellent time for reading, meditating and gradually entering into a receptive silence which allows the Higher Consciousness to enter the body in order to transform it.

13 December 1969

*

I find that after the recent fever I sleep more; I don’t like this.

Since the new Consciousness has been on earth, sleep seems to have acquired a special utility by enabling it to work on the body. So you need not worry; it is the mind that does not like sleep.

But when the body learns to sleep consciously in an attitude of surrender to the Divine, much useful work can be done during sleep.

15 December 1969

*

Sometimes, Mother, even the body takes joy in the words, “Only You”.

This is good.

It does not surprise me, because I know that your body itself is progressing.

17 December 1969

*

Is the sleep of a Yogi dreamless?

They are no longer dreams. They are visions and activities in worlds that are invisible to the physical consciousness.

19 December 1969

*

Let my whole being become a straight line towards You, O Divine Mother!

On the way to integral transformation.

21 December 1969

*

I find that if I complain about the Divine I am always wrong.

Surely it would be better to try to understand rather than to complain!

When something does not go well, it is always to show us where we have to make some progress.

23 December 1969

*

I see that he who criticises me is a good friend of my progress, but I see this only after having had an initial unpleasant reaction.

Provided that you see it and know how to profit by the lesson, that is all that is needed.

25 December 1969

*

When the mind is engaged in things that according to it are useless, it is pitiful.

There too, if it has the right attitude, it can learn and progress. When we have understood that all that comes to us in life comes from the Supreme Lord to teach us how to live, nothing is useless any more. Our attitude changes and is enlightened.

27 December 1969

*

The plans made by the mind are losing their charm, but that which should replace them is not yet there.

The indications of the Higher Consciousness do not come in advance, but as they are needed.

It is virtually at every moment that one knows what has to be done, and that is why those who have a mental habit of making plans far in advance find it very difficult to obey the Divine.

But it is only a question of habit and of inner attitude, which must be very peaceful and attentive.

29 December 1969

*

It is with gratitude to You, O Mother, that I say farewell to this year.

And I say, welcome to the new year which brings with it a new decade and an intensification of the working of the superman consciousness.

With my blessings for a Happy New Year.

31 December 1969

*

Does my sincerity have to increase for me to be fully transparent before You?

To tell the truth, the Supreme Lord makes me see in each person what He wants me to see, and He has not made me see insincerity in you. What is not yet very clear, no doubt, are the mental and vital habits; but they do not seem to me to be obstacles in the work of transformation.

Blessings

4 January 1970

*

In spite of my weak body I have always liked to go to the peaks of mountains. And now it is the peaks of consciousness that attract me.

The true strength is that of the Divine and it can make even a weak body strong. He alone should be the master of our being, its aim and its support.

6 January 1970

*

To my aspiration towards the heights You replied, “I am here.”

To open the door for you, to welcome you and to show you the way to the Supreme Lord.

With my blessings

8 January 1970

*

In accepting or not accepting an illness, which part of the being is it whose attitude decides the thing?

A great mental will that obstinately refuses to be ill is effective.

A vital power that adamantly rejects the illness is effective.

A consciousness of the cells that finds its support exclusively in the Divine Presence and refuses to receive any other influence is much more effective.

A total identification with the Supreme Consciousness, abolishing all division, is the sovereign remedy.

10 January 1970

*

Yesterday, Mother, while I was with You, I was not thinking of my health, but You said to me, “I wish you good health”, and I felt the presence of a tall person behind me.

Yesterday I saw behind you the Consciousness that wanted to enter into you and needs a strong body in order to manifest; that is why I insisted on the need for good health; and it is the Presence of the Consciousness concentrated on you that you took for a tall person.

This is good.

Blessings

12 January 1970

*

It seems to me that if I am more consecrated to You, I will better be able to receive good health when it comes.

Yes, that is undeniable.

You will see in the next issue of the Bulletin that the best way to be healthy is to concentrate all our consciousness on the Divine, leaving to Him the responsibility of taking care of our body. Then we have only to be attentive to the orders that He gives us in all circumstances, and obey them scrupulously.

14 January 1970

*

The little moment spent with You, O Divine Mother, becomes a life in itself; it is going to become an eternal moment.

The eternal supreme Consciousness is always there, concretely present and active.

16 January 1970

*

I do not live in the true consciousness, so there are necessarily defects in my translation of The Life Divine into Hindi. I said this to Sri Aurobindo. I feel that He accepted the work with a smile of encouragement.

Work done sincerely is always accepted by Sri Aurobindo with a smile.

Thus He may have accepted several translations of his works into Hindi. That is why the problem of publication is difficult to solve. And as I am not competent in Hindi, it is impossible for me to solve it.

18 January 1970

*

The day before yesterday I began to do the exercises given to me by Dada to improve my health. This is as a collaboration with the Divine Will.

This is very good! Surely it will have a very good effect. You must also be careful about food.

20 January 1970

*

Will You please give me directions about food?

What you should eat depends on the general state of your health, on what is lacking in your body and on what it cannot tolerate. This only a doctor who is an expert on the subject can say.

The food should be very clean, very healthy and strengthening. Moral restrictions are inventions of the human mind and ought to be disregarded when necessary.

Food should be taken exclusively according to the needs of the body and not according to rules, conventions and desires.

22 January 1970

*

Mother, yesterday before You the body was able to aspire for a moment to have the Light, to become the Light.

This is good.

The body carries the light in each of its cells, and one day it will no longer hide it.

24 January 1970

*

I have a longing to hear Krishna’s flute.

Krishna’s flute is the equivalent of the Supreme Lord’s smile of love. To hear the flute or see the smile, one must live in the total peace of perfect and integral surrender.

26 January 1970

*

I find that I still have an attachment to money, direct or indirect.

It is the contagion of collective attachment. Money is a god that is universally worshipped upon earth and it is difficult to dethrone. When it becomes only an instrument of the divine work, the difficulty will disappear.

28 January 1970

*

Is it something in my vital, aided by mental wisdom, that keeps the taint of money?

The physical atmosphere is full of the suggestion and one cannot breathe without absorbing it; and the attachment in the vital comes from the collective conviction in the invincible power of money. This is the cause of almost all the difficulties.

30 January 1970

*

A month of what we were calling the new year has passed, and at what speed!

For one who moves fast, time passes quickly.

1 February 1970

*

I feel a growing need for the mind to learn to keep quiet.

Bravo to the mind for its decision — this is the indispensable starting-point of the work of integral transformation.

3 February 1970

*

I can see You, Sweet Mother, as the Transforming Flame.

What the Lord has decided shall come to be.

5 February 1970

*

You want to take away all my anxiety, but I am not letting it go!

There is only one solution — it is to leave all anxiety to the Supreme Lord and let Him do everything, everything, absolutely everything. Then all will be done as perfectly as possible. And we will live in peace and joy.

7 February 1970

*

One cannot breathe without absorbing what is in the terrestrial atmosphere. Mother, what is the solution?

To become more and more constantly conscious of the Divine Presence, which marvellously counterbalances all that may be absorbed in an automatic unconsciousness.

9 February 1970

*

Yesterday the body wanted to receive the Light and You said yes.

Certainly. Every morning I envelop it with light so that the light may always be around it, penetrating it whenever there is a possibility of its being received.

11 February 1970

*

The more I can draw near to You, O Divine Mother, the more life becomes a true life.

This very body is struggling to realise the true life.

13 February 1970

*

I can feel that the golden Light has become very active.

Yes, very active. It does not seem to want to tolerate insincerities or even imperfections. For those who receive it in the body, this is very perceptible.

But we should not complain — the work is going fast.

17 February 1970

*

Now that the Light does not want to tolerate imperfections, I can be full of hope — provided I collaborate.

Your collaboration is certain because the central will is awake, and even if there are resistances due to certain old habits, they are sure to yield.

19 February 1970

*

To be possessed by You, by You alone, O Divine Mother, this will be my great joy.

May the divine blessings be with you, my child, for an integral realisation.

21 February 1970

*

Little by little the horizon is becoming clearer, wider and more beautiful.

As our consciousness awakens to the eternal Truth, our perception is transformed by it.

23 February 1970

*

According to certain traditions, 9 is a mystic-occult number. Is it true, Mother?

Physically, the number 9 is definitely associated with birth.

It has even been associated with the appearance on earth of the supramental world.

But more than this, I cannot say at the moment.

Mentally, an occult significance has been given to each number.

25 February 1970

*

Deliver me, O Divine Mother, from personal incapacity.

All that is united with the Supreme Lord, merged in Him, partakes of His Omnipotence.

The very cells of the body are having this experience.

But for the union to be integral and total, it is a long and slow labour.

27 February 1970

*

The last two days old things have risen up to veil and delay, but perhaps I can make this an opportunity to progress.

It is always an opportunity to progress. In fact the difficulties rise up precisely when the higher wisdom has seen that we have become capable of overcoming them.

1 March 1970

*

The future You have chosen for me is going to be different from all my ideas!

Ideas always see only one side of things, or at most several sides. The supramental consciousness has a total view of life which animates and guides the particular action that the body is destined to accomplish.

3 March 1970

*

The Flame is visible even in the midst of the darkness I shelter.

The flame of aspiration is lit up within you — I see it always in the centre of your chest; and surely it will have the power to dissolve the darkness. It is a matter of patience and persistence.

5 March 1970

*

Perhaps there is an intensity of aspiration after which realisation will no longer be delayed.

Certainly the intensity that comes from an absolute sincerity of aspiration can do in a moment what would otherwise take centuries. Certainly there are steps forward from which one never falls back.

7 March 1970

*

The time passed without remembering You is losing its savour.

When the cells of the body have participated in the experience, it will no longer be possible to forget it, because once they have become aware of the Presence within them, they never forget it.

9 March 1970

*

Can it be said that no realisation can be perfect without the participation of the cells of the body?

Most certainly, because in the divine plan for the earth, man upon earth must be succeeded by the supramental being, and all our effort must seek to prepare its coming.

11 March 1970

*

There is a descent of light from above like a stream; it is also welling up from below!

Yes, it is true.

The light rises up from the depths, just as it descends from the heights, and the two streams of light join around the earth to flood the human consciousness and prepare it for the new creation.

13 March 1970

*

Yesterday You told me, “Constant alertness. No relaxation.”

Yes, it is true.

The work of physical transformation has begun; but the work is immense and the years are short.

15 March 1970

*

If I am faithful to You, the length of the way is not distressing.

If you are integrally faithful, in other words, if all the parts of your being are united in the same aspiration, then the length of the way diminishes considerably and each step forward becomes a happy discovery.

17 March 1970

*

I pray that the flame of aspiration may awaken in the parts of my being that are still recalcitrant.

Everything in life is organised to make us go as fast as possible. If our attention is wide awake, we can profit from all circumstances.

19 March 1970

*

“The more rapidly one goes individually, the more necessary it is to try to extend and strengthen the collective basis.”[39]

Fortunately, all this is Mahashakti’s affair.

Now more and more, the whole world is working with the joy of being at the service of the Supreme Lord.

21 March 1970

*

Yesterday noon I felt an aspiration which was later formulated like this: An inner rhythm in harmony with the Divine Will.

This is very good.

Indeed, this is the source of true action.

23 March 1970

*

At night there were tiring dreams, but I woke up remembering You and I am fresh.

The nights will be better if before going to sleep, while lying in bed, you offer your body to the Divine with this prayer:

“Lord, let me rest in You.”

25 March 1970

*

Mother, where is the identification?

Normally the identification is in the psychic being, which consciously forms around the Divine Presence.

But now with the descent of the new consciousness, the Divine Presence can be felt by the cells of the body where this Presence is at work for the transformation of Matter.

27 March 1970

*

Whatever work comes from You I would like to take as Your blessings.

I know that you take it in this way. The only thing that makes me hesitate sometimes is that I don’t want you to tire yourself. The work must be done harmoniously, not with any tension.

29 March 1970

*

The eagerness for speed and result seems to create tension in my work.

The best attitude for work is to make it an offering to the Divine, and for that, to do it as well as one can, leaving the result to the care of the Divine. Then all tension disappears.

And when one knows how to make the offering, the strength needed to carry out the work comes spontaneously, so one avoids getting fatigued.

31 March 1970

*

With Your help, Mother, I must succeed in making an offering of my work.

I am fully convinced that you will succeed. In a general way you already have the right attitude.

Blessings

2 April 1970

*

Without silence of mind it is really difficult to know the Divine Will.

It is almost impossible, because there is always the risk of taking one’s own mental formation for the expression of the divine will.

A great intensity of aspiration can help to obtain this mental silence — an aspiration that is not formulated in words.

Blessings

4 April 1970

*

Will You please make me capable of receiving what You send me with Your answers.

The consciousness is working very energetically, and one allows it to work best in an attentive silence.

6 April 1970

*

The flame in the navel region is still smoky.

It is the old vital habits that believe they are indispensable for the equilibrium of the body. There is no need to force anything.

8 April 1970

*

I can feel that it is in silence that I should aspire for silence.

This is very good — it is a good beginning.

10 April 1970

*

Mother, the mind is making so much noise again, but I am not discouraged.

It is to give you the opportunity to control and purify its activity, because this too is indispensable.

12 April 1970

*

In an increasing love for You, my wrong movements have to offer themselves to You, O Divine Mother.

It is nothing but the memory of old habits that are exhausting themselves in their final expressions.

14 April 1970

*

Now I have a toothache. I regard this as the resistance of old habits.

I know by experience that one can stop a toothache in a few minutes if the spot that is suffering invokes the Divine Presence in a total surrender.

But if you have not yet learned to do this in the body, not mentally, it is better to go to Dr. R who will treat you.

Blessings

18 April 1970

*

Before You, Mother, one can climb so high that even physical pain disappears, but … there is always a return.

A day will come when this change of consciousness can be made at will, and thus it can be much more lasting.

22 April 1970

*

I find that I am unworthy of You, O Divine Mother.

Be sincere in your aspiration and there is no unworthiness …

24 April 1970

*

How can one rise above struggle?

By identifying one’s consciousness with the Divine Consciousness; then everything changes its appearance and values are not the same.

27 April 1970

*

I find that I am no longer trying to know what You want to make of me.

This is an excellent attitude, which proves that you are indeed becoming what I am expecting you to be.

Blessings

30 April 1970

*

You are with me always, but I am not aware of it.

I am subtler than the air, and even the air you cannot see.

There are infinitely more things we do not see than things we see.

2 May 1970

*

The joy of bowing down before You without desire.

It is the joy with which the Lord envelops those who are sincere.

Happy Birthday

4 May 1970

*

In spite of the difficulties I hope to remain upright on the path.

With a sincere aspiration the thing is certain.

6 May 1970

*

Perhaps the Lord created the world with a smile, and with a smile He looks at it.

Most certainly. And we too must learn to look at everything with a smile. But we have picked up very bad habits which we must now learn to lose.

9 May 1970

*

This morning the need for the cosmic consciousness is felt.

The peace of totality.

11 May 1970

*

I am made of dust, but it is a dust that can change at Your contact.

The whole physical world is made of dust.

But this dust has this peculiarity, that upon contact with the Divine it changes into light.

13 May 1970

*

The incapacity of the mind is now very clear.

The mind is an instrument of study and analysis. But it is not capable of having knowledge because it acts in division.

15 May 1970

*

Among the darknesses I harbour, there are some that have begun to love the light.

That in you which is still in darkness is dark out of ignorance, not bad will; and this is a certitude of victory, even swift victory, for the illumination is taking place quickly.

17 May 1970

*

Does the sense of physical suffering no longer exist in the cosmic consciousness?

In the cosmic consciousness it certainly exists.

It is in the Supreme Divine Consciousness that it does not exist; that is to say, the nature of the sensation changes and opposites disappear, to be replaced by something that is indefinable in our language.

20 May 1970

*

If my aspiration becomes constant, sincere and integral, things will be simple.

It already takes a great sincerity to perceive the instability of the aspiration.

22 May 1970

*

These last three days the idea has been coming that the Matrimandir in Auroville should be constructed soon.

Indeed it would be good, and it would change things in an unexpected way … But this does not seem to have been revealed to others.

24 May 1970

*

Isn’t ordered intuition necessary to be Your true servitor?

Ordered intuition is certainly a very useful instrument for replacing the mind, which has proven itself incapable of correctly expressing the higher consciousness. But beyond intuition, there is a consciousness that reflects even better the Supreme Consciousness.

26 May 1970

*

There are darknesses that want to flee, there are others that want to be transformed!

Yes, there is a moment when the choice is between consenting or disappearing — then things go fast.

28 May 1970

*

For most problems there is now only one answer: self-giving.

When self-giving is truly and completely realised, there is no longer any problem; everything becomes very simple.

30 May 1970

*

It seems to me that an integral love is the first necessity for self-giving to be integral.

From the first contact with the Supreme Lord, one feels inundated and enveloped by a love so marvellous that the response is spontaneous and natural.

1 June 1970

*

The glimpses of Truth have to be expanded and become constant.

It is a sort of atmosphere of Truth in which one can take refuge as soon as one concentrates, until the time comes when one lives there constantly, even while maintaining a surface activity that no longer affects the consciousness.

3 June 1970

*

Isn’t the Divine Will the only Truth to be followed in action?

All exists in and by the Divine Consciousness, and the place that each being and each thing occupies in the whole depends on the extent to which that being or thing is aware of the Supreme Consciousness and identified with It.

5 June 1970

*

For me, physical tamas is very obstinate, especially towards evening.

It may be fatigue, the need for conscious rest or for more sleep, or some element lacking in the diet. This is a subject worth studying.

7 June 1970

*

How to have a conscious rest?

The body relaxed lying in bed before sleeping, offering itself to the Divine, and conscious rest came spontaneously, without making an effort for it. So it is impossible for me to give a method, because none was used. The aspiration of the cells to surrender entirely to the Divine was the only conscious thing.

9 June 1970

*

Isn’t the rest in Sachchidananda the only true rest for the sadhak?

In principle, yes, but I doubt whether many know how to have it.

12 June 1970

*

I still do not find in myself the reversal of consciousness that is a “revolution of the basic equilibrium”, the indispensable starting-point for transformation.

There is no absolute rule. Contact with the inner Divinity can take place in an unexpected way. The important thing is to keep the aspiration.

16 June 1970

*

How can the sadhak, who has seen neither the goal nor the way, tell whether he is progressing or not?

When one acts, to make an offering of one’s action.

When one rests or sleeps, to make an offering of one’s body. And always, at every moment, to make an offering of one’s consciousness.

Is it not enough?

Why worry about the result? Is it not still the ego?

18 June 1970

*

Sometimes when I remember You, there is a thrill in the body.

It means that your body is sensitive to the supramental consciousness and that it can become more and more receptive.

20 June 1970

*

The aspiration straight to the Divine, without care for personal progress, is such a pure flame!

It is so comforting; it gives the strength to overcome all difficulties.

22 June 1970

*

To see and feel the Lord everywhere and in everything, isn’t union with Him indispensable?

Naturally it is essential and imperative; otherwise one risks becoming the plaything of all kinds of imaginations.

That is why it is preferable to concentrate first on union with the Divine. The rest follows after.

24 June 1970

*

Mother has spoken of a kind of radiation that goes out of the body and mixes with others. Is this radiation limited by physical distance?

The extent of the radiation differs with each person and depends on the power of consciousness contained in the cells.

For most people, it is a few centimetres. The radiation of Sri Aurobindo’s body extended in a circle more than ten kilometres beyond the town.

26 June 1970

*

Perhaps it is easier for the body to aspire without being anxious about the response.

I have found that as soon as the cells of the body enter into contact with the Divine, they surrender very quickly and completely, and their surrender is very stable.

28 June 1970

*

It is said that in the recent earthquake in Peru, eighty thousand people perished. Is it possible that the souls of all those who died decided to leave their bodies at the same time?

In the majority of men, the psychic being is embryonic, not very developed, and does not make the decision.

It is only in a minority of human beings that the psychic being is fully conscious individually and makes individual decisions.

30 June 1970

*

Your Purity, O Mother Divine, Your Purity.

May He alone exist!…

2 July 1970

*

When the Truth approaches, if the mind wants to understand it, the Truth departs.

The very attitude of the mind is contrary to the Truth — that is why it cannot understand it.

It is only in mental silence that one can know the Truth.

4 July 1970

*

The body too is now beginning to aspire for its reconstitution according to Your Will.

My blessings are with it so that this may be the occasion for a new strength to establish itself with the new consciousness.

6 July 1970

*

With Your help everything becomes possible and time no longer seems so important.

You can be assured of my help; it does not depend on physical conditions.

8 July 1970

*

When meditation comes spontaneously, the body often relaxes and sleep becomes irresistible.

This is probably not an ordinary sleep. The body becomes capable of receiving the higher forces, which plunge it into a receptive rest. Consciousness will follow, and then the body will begin to be transformed.

10 July 1970

*

My vital ego continues to see the faults of others with pleasure.

When it understands that the faults of others increase its own work, the pleasure will disappear.

12 July 1970

*

Isn’t prayer more effective than personal effort?

Each has its utility, but aspiration and prayer are undoubtedly more effective because of the trust they imply.

18 July 1970

*

Is the personal effort of one who is chosen by the Divine an easy action for the Divine Force?

For the Divine all is bliss; but this word must be given a meaning that is unknown to man.

20 July 1970

*

To obtain something from men one has to ask, but from You one receives more if one does not ask!

Because normally one is not aware of one’s true need and often one asks for useless things. Whereas the divine consciousness always gives exactly what is needed for one’s growth and ascent.

24 July 1970

*

When the loss of the ego occurs, it is going to be a great enrichment.

It can be said that it is the fulfilment of the true being.

26 July 1970

*

When one aspires for one’s whole being to participate in the yoga, has one begun the integral yoga?

Yes, when the consciousness of the cells of the body perceives the presence and action of the Divine, one is on the right path for the integral yoga.

28 July 1970

*

Mother told P that the protection of India lies in the descent of the Force from above.

So, Mother, it all comes back to yoga.

India is the custodian of yogic knowledge, but this knowledge had been veiled by materialism. Sri Aurobindo has awakened it; now it has only to be spread.

30 July 1970

*

Can it be said that if one is now sincere, no errors of the past are irreparable?

Nothing is irreparable and even the consequences of past acts change as the being becomes more pure and sincere.

But one must never forget that for the divine consciousness the value of beings and things is quite different from what it is for the human consciousness.

1 August 1970

*

He who is chosen by the Infinite cannot escape, but it is true that he tries to escape. Why, Mother?

Men are afraid of what they do not know, especially of what is far superior to them.

3 August 1970

*

Instead of bothering about itself, the body wants to be Your faithful servitor.

This is very good. More and more it will have the chance. Already all its effort is given to the divine work.

5 August 1970

*

Purity of the vital has become a great necessity.

The vital is the fortress of the ego. The ego must abdicate.

One will alone has value — that of the Supreme Lord.

5 October 1970

*

Without mental silence I am no longer joyful on the path.

If you have mental silence at will, it is already a great achievement and it should give you patience until the day when your whole life will pass in mental silence.

7 October 1970

*

Your Victory, O Mother Divine, Your own Victory is our only hope.

The victory is certain. It is for us to prepare ourselves to see it and take part in it.

Blessings

9 October 1970

*

Does the decrease of my impatience mean an increase of faith?

It is undoubtedly the first step towards an enlightened trust in the Divine Wisdom.

11 October 1970

*

When the aspiration is strong and sincere, a change of consciousness takes place. How to establish it?

By letting the aspiration spring up more and more frequently.

15 October 1970

*

Is it the mind in man that prevents him from uniting with the cosmic rhythm?

Very often it is the vital corrupted by adverse forces, and almost always it is the mind, which wants to replace the cosmic rhythm by its own laws.

17 October 1970

*

Is there an intensity of aspiration that can bring realisation without delay?

Yes. But this very intensity is the sign that the being is ready for union with the Divine.

When this union is fully conscious, then the transformation begins.

19 October 1970

*

When the movement of self-offering to You is spontaneous, there is a distinct joy.

Yes, this is the joy that can become constant as the background supporting one’s whole life.

21 October 1970

*

My ego has become very subtle.

It is hoping to hide itself, but it will not succeed.

23 October 1970

*

Does fatigue in work indicate a loss of contact with Your Force?

There are several kinds of fatigue. If it is bodily fatigue, it indicates the need to rest.

All the other kinds of fatigue come because you are taking in the forces at the personal source, which is necessarily limited, and you are not connected with the Divine Force, which is necessarily unlimited.

25 October 1970

*

The mind is learning not to be disturbed by the things it does not like.

That is good. But there is a higher condition to attain. It is to be above like and dislike, understanding the deep law of each thing in order to put each thing in its true place, in one’s consciousness and around oneself.

27 October 1970

*

Does consecration merely change one’s attitude towards circumstances or does it change the circumstances themselves?

Consecration completely changes one’s attitude and way of acting. This naturally has an influence on circumstances.

29 October 1970

*

Often preferences do not allow one to see clearly.

It is absolutely indispensable to establish a consciousness in which preferences no longer have any meaning and are replaced by a clear vision of the place of each movement and thing in the great universal play.

2 November 1970

*

I find a general lowering in myself these last few days.

Perhaps you are tired. If it is not that, you must quickly react.

4 November 1970

*

I am trying to renew my self-offering to You.

Yes, it is not an offering that can be made once and for all — it has to be renewed constantly. Then all movements become filled with the Divine.

6 November 1970

*

The chains of Ignorance are truly strong.

Yes, so strong that only the Supreme Lord can dissolve them.

That is why, for one who has faith, all is possible.

8 November 1970

*

Sometimes the aspiration becomes a consecration.

It is always that in its essence and origin.

In fact it is a state that becomes permanent in the being and governs all its activities.

10 November 1970

*

To be at Your service — isn’t this the only utility of the body?

If not the only one, at least the most effective.

12 November 1970

*

When the clouds begin to disperse, one forgets the fatigue of the struggle.

There comes a time when the struggle is nothing but the victorious march of the Divine, and the effort becomes glorious.

14 November 1970

*

I hope that my whole being is going to become a flower that always turns towards You.

This is inevitable and it will become more and more conscious.

16 November 1970

*

India’s condition is becoming worse and worse, at least in appearance.

The old financial power and the so-called communists are at odds. The time is coming soon for the true Consciousness to intervene and put a little order into this chaos.

18 November 1970

*

The mind is no longer proud of itself and it wants to have the light from above.

Let it remain silent, turned upwards in an attitude of receptivity, and the light will respond.

20 November 1970

*

Yesterday noon, when the mind turned upwards, Sri Aurobindo came with a smile.

This is very good and surely it will repeat itself.

22 November 1970

*

This morning the word “Realisation” is dominating.

It is certain; the whole thing is to prepare oneself for it.

24 November 1970

*

What is the right way to rest in order to restore one’s energy?

A comfortable physical support (sofa or easy chair), vital quietude, mental silence, and a general attitude in the whole being of passive offering to the Divine.

26 November 1970

*

At night there was a tide of useless thoughts, but the remembrance of You was there as a wave of protection.

My will is to give you the peace of silence.

28 November 1970

*

My hope lies in the certitude that the Mother’s Will will prevail over me.

You are right; in time we will triumph over all obstacles.

30 November 1970

*

What I do one day is no longer satisfying the next.

This proves that the urge for progress is very strong. It becomes all-powerful when it is accompanied by the peace of eternity.

2 December 1970

[1] New Year Message of 1967 — Words of the Mother III, CWM vol. 15, p. 175.

[2] Questions and Answers 1957-1958, CWM vol. 9, p. 315.

[3] Words of the Mother I, CWM vol. 13, p. 76.

[4] The Mother, Prayers and Meditations, CWM vol. 1, p. 229.

[5] Prayers and Meditations, CWM vol. 1, p. 145.

[6] Message for the inauguration of All India Radio, Pondicherry, 23 September 1967: “O India, land of light and spiritual knowledge! Wake up to your true mission in the world, show the way to union and harmony.” — Words of the Mother I, CWM vol. 13, p. 367.

[7] The Mother, Prayers and Meditations, CWM vol. 1, p. 332.

[8] Prayers and Meditations, CWM vol. 1, p. 377.

[9] “In the spiritual order of things, the higher we project our view and our aspiration, the greater the Truth that seeks to descend upon us, because it is already there within us and calls for its release from the covering that conceals it in manifested Nature.” — The Life Divine, CWSA vol. 21, p. 284.

[10] Savitri, CWSA vol. 34, p. 448.

[11] Savitri, CWSA vol. 34, p. 606.

[12] Savitri, CWSA vol. 34, p. 613.

[13] Questions and Answers 1953, CWM vol. 5, p. 82.

[14] Sri Aurobindo, The Synthesis of Yoga, CWSA vol. 23, p. 58.

[15] Savitri, CWSA vol. 33, p. 3.

[16] Savitri, CWSA vol. 33, pp. 30-31.

[17] Savitri, CWSA vol. 33, p. 28.

[18] Savitri, CWSA vol. 33, pp. 81-82.

[19] Savitri, CWSA vol. 33, p. 43.

[20] Savitri, CWSA vol. 33, p. 89

[21] Savitri, CWSA vol. 33, p. 35

[22] Savitri, CWSA vol. 33, p. 227.

[23] Savitri, CWSA vol. 33, p. 339.

[24] Sri Aurobindo, The Mother with Letters on the Mother, CWSA vol. 32, p. 14.

[25] Sri Aurobindo, The Synthesis of Yoga, CWSA vol. 23, p. 111.

[26] Savitri, CWSA vol. 33, p. 341.

[27] The Mother, Prayers and Meditations, CWM vol. 1, p. 145.

[28] Soon afterwards the Mother named this Consciousness the superman consciousness (la conscience du surhomme) or simply the new consciousness.

[29] The Mother was speaking of herself.

[30] Savitri, CWSA vol. 33, p. 52.

[31] The manifestation of the superman consciousness.

[32] Savitri, CWSA vol. 34, p. 705.

[33] The superman consciousness.

[34] Prayers and Meditations, CWM vol. 1, p. 54.

[35] Notes on the Way, CWM vol. 11, p. 156.

[36] Collected Poems, CWSA vol. 2, p. 601.

[37] Savitri, CWSA vol. 33, p. 71.

[38] Sri Aurobindo, The Mother with Letters on the Mother, CWSA vol. 32, p. 8.

[39] The Mother, Questions and Answers 1956, CWM vol. 8, p. 264.

NOTES ON THE TEXT

This book consists of the Mother’s correspondence with nine disciples living in the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in Pondicherry. Seven of these correspondences are entirely or largely in English; two are entirely in French. The correspondences in French, and the French entries in the correspondences largely in English, appear here in English translation.

Series One — Amrita. Originally named Aravamudachari Ayengar, Amrita was one of the first Tamil disciples of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. His correspondence covers the period from 1919 to 1955. The basis of the correspondence are his reports to the Mother and her comments on them. Most of these reports and comments are in English, but a considerable number are in French and appear here in English translation. The correspondence is being published here for the first time.

What follows is background information about Amrita which should help the reader to understand and appreciate the correspondence.

Amrita began living in Sri Aurobindo’s small community of disciples after finishing his schooling in 1919. When the Sri Aurobindo Ashram was formed in November 1926, the Mother appointed him as its general manager, a position he held for the rest of his life. In his capacity as manager, Amrita met with the Mother daily, but he also sent her various notebooks in which he reported his daily activities and indicated any problems. The Mother read these notebooks and sometimes made written comments in their margins and empty spaces. Amrita’s reports and the Mother’s comments on them form the basis of his correspondence.

In every respect this is a “work” correspondence; there is very little spiritual instruction or guidance. Rather, the correspondence shows how the Mother guided an earnest young disciple in helping to run the Ashram.

As the Ashram manager, Amrita had a large range of responsibilities. Among them were: the maintenance of the Ashram dairy and the purchase of additional milk; the safekeeping of money for Ashram members and visitors; the accommodation of visitors; the rental and purchase of houses for the Ashram; arrangement for the repair of newly acquired properties; maintenance of the accounts of paid workers (wages, absences, leaves, bonuses, etc.); the settlement of disputes involving paid workers; the recruitment of new paid workers; the placement of orders with local merchants; the handling of parcels at the railway station; the purchase of stamps and the collection of letters and money orders at the town’s two post offices, French and British; and the payment of New Year tips to postal workers, railway clerks and others. In general Amrita was the Mother’s principal liaison in dealing with government officials, houseowners, landowners, lawyers and the town’s notary; he regularly represented her in negotiations with local officials and members of the town. In executing his myriad activities, Amrita routinely consulted the Mother and did her bidding.

Series Two — Amal Kiran. Originally named K. D. Sethna, Amal Kiran lived in the Ashram for two long periods: from 1927 to 1938 and from 1954 to 2011. His correspondence covers both periods (as well as the fifteen years in Mumbai between periods). During the first period, Amal was head of the Furniture Service and had a number of personal and family problems; his exchanges of this period reflect these concerns. During the second period, his primary work was editing the monthly review Mother India; much of his correspondence during this period is related to his work as editor.

Most of the Mother’s important replies to Amal have already been published, but they have always appeared here and there by subject, never together. A large number first appeared over the years in issues of Mother India. A smaller number first came out in 1980 in Amal’s book, Our Light and Delight. All these replies were then published in 1980, in Words of the Mother I–III, Volumes 13–15 of the Collected Works of the Mother, but in those volumes they were arranged by subject.

The present book comprises all the entries mentioned above and many more. Prepared from Amal’s manuscripts, it includes a number of personal letters about his family and friends never published before. It also includes the Mother India texts sent by Amal to the Mother for approval of publication. All these texts, presented in chronological order, chronicle Amal’s written exchanges with the Mother over several decades. What emerges is a sense of the relationship between the Mother and her bold, spirited, intelligent disciple. The correspondence is in English, with a very few exceptions. It is presented here for the first time in this form.

Series Three — Sanjiban. Sanjiban Biswas joined the Ashram in 1933 at the age of twenty. His correspondence with the Mother began in that year and continued for the next eight years. Many of their exchanges deal with the Mother’s guidance to Sanijban as an aspiring artist.

Most of the material presented here was first published in issues of the quarterly journal Bulletin of Sri Aurobindo International Centre of Education between August 1996 and February 1998. The present complete correspondence, which contains additional entries, has been prepared from Sanjiban’s manuscripts. The correspondence is in English.

Series Four — Kirankumari. Kirankumari Kothari joined the Ashram in 1935 at the age of eighteen. The Mother placed her in charge of the cleaning and repair of stoves and water-filters. She regularly informed the Mother of her work by writing reports in notebooks. These reports and the Mother’s comments on them form the basis of this correspondence. It covers the years between 1938 and 1942. The correspondence is in English and is being published here for the first time.

Series Five — Jagannath. Jagannath Vedalankar joined the Ashram in 1945. The Mother asked him to work in the newly founded Ashram Press. His correspondence with her deals mainly with his press work between 1946 and 1950, but also with his efforts to help his brother around 1947 at the time of the partition of India and Pakistan. Most of the Mother’s replies were first published in 1995 in the book Beautiful Vignettes of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, pp. 147–57. The present correspondence, prepared from Jagannath’s manuscripts, includes the entries in Vignettes along with some additional ones. The correspondence is in English.

Series Six — Debou. Debkumar Bhattacharya, known as Debou, joined the Ashram in 1943. After completing his studies in the Ashram school in 1951, he became a teacher there. Later, in the mid 1960s, he became a homeopath and practised for many years.

Debou’s correspondence has been prepared from his manuscripts. Almost all the entries are in French and appear here in translation. The correspondence is being published here for the first time.

Series Seven — Madanlal. Madanlal Himatsingka joined the Ashram in 1959. A successful businessman, he initially advised the Ashram in financial matters. Interested in the publication of the works of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, he founded the All India Press in 1969. His correspondence deals with his press work, his personal affairs and his sadhana.

A selection of letters from Madanlal’s correspondence was published in the April 2008 issue of the quarterly Bulletin of Sri Aurobindo International Centre of Education. Then in 2016, on the occasion of Madanlal’s centenary, a book on his life was published — The Joy of Offering. It contained extensive selections from his correspondence with the Mother as well as biographical information and tributes. The present correspondence contains most of the selections in that book. The correspondence is in English.

Series Eight — Gautam. Gautam Chawalla joined the Ashram in 1952. His correspondence covers the period from 1953 to 1967. Gautam worked at first on an Ashram farm, as well as in the Ashram main building, assisting the Mother in various tasks; these activities are reflected in his correspondence. All but a few of the entries are in French and appear here in translation. Prepared from Gautam’s manuscripts, the correspondence is being published here for the first time.

Series Nine — Shyam Sundar. Shyam Sundar Jhunjhunwalla joined the Ashram in 1965. In 1971 the Mother appointed him as her secretary for Auroville affairs, a position he held for about a decade. He also edited the monthly journal Sri Aurobindo’s Action and wrote or compiled a number of books. His correspondence deals mainly with his sadhana and the conditions of spiritual life.

Shyam Sundar corresponded with the Mother in French from 1967 to 1970. The original French was first published in 1986 in a book titled En route: Correspondance de la Mere avec Shyam Sundar. An English translation of it by Shyam Sundar came out in 1987, entitled En route: On the Path (The Mother’s Correspondence with Shyam Sundar). The text in the present book is a lightly revised translation of the text of On the Path.